WHEN MUGGLES ATTACK!
By: distorted prep queen
Okay, so first of all, I would just like to thank my reviewers and all those people who actually read this one or at least clicked the title and ended up seeing this. Yes, shocking isn't it? Anywho, I just realized ten seconds ago that my story seems to be somewhat like Franz Ferdinand's 'Do You Want To' video, except that this includes twenty-six students who are slightly more insane than those four Scotsmen, they're not all coordinated in terms of clothing, not everyone is talented enough to be in a band, and of course this is in Hogwarts.
Anyway, for this specific cut from this particularly long one shot, I would like to mention that the main event here is inspired from something that had actually happened not to long ago.
Disclaimer: Any damages, deaths, or further injuries that may have had happened/may be happening/may happen to the students and faculty of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is not at all the responsibility of the author nor the other characters which fall under the aforementioned group.
Chapter 2: Muggles versus Slytherins
Utter chaos broke out as the rather small crowd of muggles suddenly dispersed among the thousand students collected in the Great Hall. Some were still unsure while others overjoyed, but either way each went their own way across the different tables and more or less forcing themselves into a conversation with a character.
Or in the case of the males, grouped themselves together and began scanning the room for any vacancy where they could inhale the food like in an all you can eat buffet except this time, it was all for free and better still, UNLIMITED.
Oh, the humanity!
"So, guys, where should we sit?"
"Hey, how about there. I think that girl's checking us out or something." A boy, otherwise known as Joseph, turned towards the direction of the Ravenclaw table where Cho Chang was obviously not even aware he existed in the first place since she was rather busy trying to pry off a great number of girls blocking her from Cedric.
"Hey, isn't that D- what the hell is his name again?"
"Dennis?"
"No, no. It's D something…"
"Are you sure? Did you even read the book?"
"No, did you?"
"Yes." All ten heads turned towards Mackey, who only shrugged in return. "What? I had to do something while my computer got busted. Why, did you think I was gonna go out and play sports or something?"
"Wait, are we even sure it starts with a D?"
"Hey, I saw the movies!" CJ interrupted loudly. "Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that it's…Drake."
"DRAKE? No it isn't, stupid!" Javy ever so gently slapped the back the aforementioned's head with a backhanded slap.
"What is it then?"
"It's actually FRODO, idiot." Mackey rolled his eyes at the others as they all 'oooh-ed' and 'ahh-ed' at him.
"Wow, we were far with all that 'D' talk there."
"Anyway, back to topic. What was it you wanted Frodo for, CJ?"
"Well maybe we could sit with him. Look, he has all that food there and no one's even sitting near them."
"GOD, I DON'T THINK ANYONE'S EVEN EATING THE BACON!"
Loud girly shrieks, if you'd even believe were worse than those of fan girls, resonated in the Great Hall as the guys all looked just about as scandalized as the time Filch- who no one even gave a second's look- accused the Weasley twins of taking his daily stash of cat nip.
"Plus, he really isn't THAT gay compared to Harry Potter." Artz reasoned as he watched the others nod their heads in approval.
"Yeah, let's just go already. I'm hungry over here!"
And just like a stampede of wild bulls, they all quickly made their way towards the Slytherin table before rudely grabbing seats and pushing a plate or two…maybe three in some cases…towards them.
"What do you think you're doing in the Slytherin table?"
Looking up from their already mountainous pile of food, the eleven slightly pushed away their plates before being able to see who had just spoken.
"Dude, I thought you said he wasn't gay?"
Draco Malfoy shot a look at who had just whispered before throwing what was supposed to be at least, a look of disgust in Ace's way.
"Then what is up with him giving me that horny look? I don't know about you but it's freaking me out."
"Stupid mudbloods, don't you even know that you're not supposed to be here?"
"Yo, dudes! I think this white kid here be disrespecting us!" A stocky boy by the name of Luis said as he quickly pushed back the offending fictional character by his forehead before quickly checking his designer duds to he stained anything.
"You buffoons should at least know that people of your kind aren't supposed to be sitting in the Slytherin table."
"Okay, first of all, stop with the racist, BALD BOY!" Javy smirked as he and the others watched amused as Draco suddenly began groping the top of his head and flattening down his hair. "Yeah, you don't think I can see that MALE PATTERN BALDNESS starting to show right there? Second of all, don't call us stupid, Stupid!"
"Yeah, that be dope right there! You don't even got no bling bling wit ya!"
"Oh yeah? Well who's going to make me, HOUSELF?" This time, it was Draco, or Frodo should I say, that smirked, though it was most probably a bad idea since he did have some pastrami stuck in between his teeth. It really didn't add then to what was supposed to be his advantage as opposed to the slightly vertically challenged boy in front of him.
"OKAY, THAT'S IT!"
"Alright then, CRABBE! GOYLE!"
"Too sissy to actually fight, eh? That's fine, I can take them on. C'mon show me whatcha got! C'mon you big wussies!"
More than a little confused by his sudden addition of a British accent plus these new words which made the English language even harder to understand for two boys whose brains were the sizes of cashews, the two cronies only managed to throw each other a bewildered look before getting elbowed in the eye and a left hook right on the chin.
"Oh, you want some more?"
"TELL 'EM LIKE IT IS, JAVY!" Luis continued pounding his fist against the table as he began rooting for his homie. "THAT'S MY BOY RIGHT THERE!"
Draco, for the lack of better words, was nearly wetting his trousers as he watched what was supposed to be his protection getting beaten up in less that five minutes by a muggle who was at least a foot smaller than Crabbe and Goyle.
"How about you, Frodo? Do you want your ass kicked?"
'WHAT SORT OF EVIL BLACK MAGIC DO THESE MUDBLOODS HAVE!'
Still managing to have a little bit of integrity left, Draco managed to fish out his wand and directed it in front of the enraged Javy.
"Back off, mudblood! I HAVE MY WAND AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!"
Bursts of laughter erupted from the others nearby as his opponent himself began to chuckle lightly.
"I HAVE A WAND AND IAM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!" CJ mocked as he continued laughing, practically drowning himself in saliva since he hasn't even swallowed in the past minute or so.
"What's so hilarious? I demand to know!"
"Don't mind us. Anyway back to business." Unaffected, Javy merely grabbed the proffered wand and threw it behind him.
"HEY! WHERE DID YOU THROW IT! I NEED THAT!"
"Fine, get it from him then." Draco felt his eyes widen and even loose a hair or two as who can only be described as Hagrid Junior step out from the rest. In between the butter stained fingers was his wand, which was now soaking up the oil. "Well c'mon now! We still have to eat here!"
"Uh, nevermind then. I can always just ask Father to buy me a new one, I've been needing one anyway."
"Good then." Javy sighed in relief as he and his muggle friends proceeded to take their stolen seats and pushing closer to them their plates. "Now, pass the pancakes."
Marcus Flint, who was supposed to be the tough Slytherin team captain, began to nod quickly as he promptly reached over to the other side of the table before offering the plate of pancakes to the boy in front of him. "Here you go, sir."
It was already pretty obvious by around this time that all Slytherins had thoroughly wet them selves silly nilly from what they just saw.
Filch and his cat lover really have their work cut out for them, don't they?