Rules of Engagement
Brussels Presidential Residence, February 13th, After Colony 206, 0742 hours
"Hm? Heero, why aren't you in uniform? I know you don't like wearing suits," Relena continued, "but people expect you to at least be in uniform."
"I'm taking the day off." Heero was wearing jeans, a long-sleeved shirt... and a shoulder holster.
"What? Why?" Relena asked in surprise.
"I've got some unofficial business to take care of," he said. Seeing the look on Relena's face, he quickly added, "Don't worry; no one is going to be killed. Nor is anything going to be blown up. And relax. I'll only be gone for the day, and I handpicked my substitute. You'll be fine."
"Well, okay," Relena sighed, somewhat mollified.
"See you later, then," Heero said, taking his leather jacket from its hook on the wall by the door, and he walked out the door.
All That Glitters, Glints, & Gleams Jewelry Shop, Brussels, approximately 0800 hours
Johann Schmidt, proprietor of All That Glitters, Glints, & Gleams, was a little surprised to see a man in jeans and a leather jacket loitering outside his shop when he arrived to open for the day. The man was tough looking and didn't seem to be affected by the cold, in spite of his relatively light clothing. The man said nothing while Schmidt opened up the shop, but once it was open, he came inside and began to browse through the shop, eventually ending up over by the display of rings.
Nervously, Schmidt approached and cleared his throat. "Excuse me, sir. May I help you?"
The man looked up. "Yes, actually. Could you tell me what size that ring is?" He pointed to one of the women's rings. It was a graceful platinum affair, elegant in its simplicity, and set with three stones: a central diamond, and flanking it on either side, two pearls. It also happened to be the most expensive ring in the display.
"Uh, it's a size eight, sir," Schmidt said, "but are you certain you can afford it? It's quite expensive. If it's too much, we have some similar items in silver..." Schmidt trailed off.
After a moment's pause, the man said, "No, I'll take that one. It's perfect."
"Of course, sir." Schmidt took out his key, unlocked the display case, and opened it. "Will you be paying by check, credit, or --" Schmidt broke off abruptly, for as the man had reached inside his jacket, Schmidt had glimpsed a pistol worn in a shoulder holster. But the man's hand was only going to his inside pocket, from which he produced a wallet. Schmidt let out the breath he had been holding unconsciously. "-- or debit," he finished, wondering, Some sort of cop? But how could a cop afford a ring like this? As those thoughts passed through his mind, the man flipped open his wallet and held it up for Schmidt to see the military identification card.
"Colonel Heero Yuy, Security Section, Preventer Corps. I am requisitioning this ring in order to preserve the security of the Earth Sphere Unified Nation. The government will reimburse you later," Colonel Heero Yuy said curtly.
Schmidt blinked. Twice. "... Sorry?"
"I am Colonel Heero Yuy, Security Section, Preventer Corps. I am requisitioning this ring in order to preserve the security of the Earth Sphere Unified Nation. The government will reimburse you later," Heero repeated, a hint of impatience entering his voice. After a pause, he added, "You have the President's thanks."
"Are you serious? You can't be serious," Schmidt said in disbelief.
"Believe me, I am." Heero lowered his wallet.
"Might I ask how this ring is supposed to 'preserve the security' of the World Nation?" Schmidt asked sarcastically, reaching for the ring.
"You might," Heero answered shortly, "but I would be unable to tell you."
Schmidt sighed. "Fine, whatever." He took the ring from the display, closed the display case, and walked over to the cash register, Heero following close behind. He put the ring in a box and typed some things into the register. Then he looked up. "What should I put in for 'payment received'?"
Heero asked, "Is your register connected to the 'Net? Does it have a vocal pickup?"
"Of course."
"Then, for payment received, use the pickup to enter 'Colonel Heero Yuy Sierra-Echo-Charlie-Papa-Charlie Requisition Protocol Romeo-Echo-Quebec-Zero-Zero-Five'. After that, it should ask for my authentication code."
Schmidt repeated the code into the pickup, then looked up again. "Well?"
Taking his Preventer Corps ID card from his wallet, Heero swiped it through the slot for credit & debit cards. Schmidt looked at the screen, nodded, and handed Heero the box. "Here you are, Colonel."
"Thank you," Heero said, taking it and stowing it somewhere on his person, and with that, he left the shop.
About half an hour later, as he was sitting in a cafe drinking coffee, Heero's cell phone rang. "Hello?" he said, taking it out.
It was Lady Une. "Colonel Yuy, do you know why one Johann Schmidt, owner of All That Glitters, Glints, & Gleams Jewelry Shop, called the Corps earlier this morning to complain about an abuse of requisition authority?"
"The possibility exists," Heero admitted.
"I want you in my office, Colonel. Now," Lady Une said, and hung up.
"So," Lady Une said, sitting behind her desk. Heero was standing in front of her. Her voice was cold, and she did not invite him to sit.
"So," she repeated. "I'll get to the point. Mr. Schmidt claims that you entered his shop this morning and requisitioned a ring, saying that he was doing so 'in order to preserve the security' of the World Nation. Given the facts that the individual in question had knowledge of the correct protocols and your ID, that the Corps received requisition codes during the timeframe in question, and that our sensors detected the ring in your possession, we know with certainty that it was you. Mr. Schmidt claims that your exercise of requisition authority in this case was an abuse, and I am inclined to agree. Would you care to explain yourself, Colonel?"
Heero stood, unperturbed. "Yes, Commander. I exercised my requisition authority to obtain an item important to the security of the World Nation. More precisely, to the security of the President."
"Really," Lady Une said, her voice, though still cold, was tinged with a hint of amusement. "And can you explain to me how this ring is crucial to the preservation of Relena's security?"
"Enhancement might be a better word," Heero amended, and his voice became softer. "I... I am planning on proposing to her tomorrow," he said. "This will, of course, require my removal from my post as her personal bodyguard. However, whoever my replacement would be would have to be highly skilled, and with me remaining by her side, albeit in a slightly different role, her security would be greatly enhanced, and at little cost. I felt that these ramifications justified my exercise of requisition authority."
"And this minimal cost would be the price of this ring?" Lady Une asked, unable to keep a slight smile from her face.
"Yes," Heero said, his voice still soft. Then, clearing his throat, he added, "Ma'am."
Lady Une shook her head, amused. "Heero Yuy, you are a truly unique individual. Very well, we'll pick up your tab this time."
"Thank you, Ma'am."
"Just a couple more things, and then you can go. One, if you try to pay for the wedding using the same trick, it will backfire. Two, may I see the ring?"
Frowning slightly in puzzlement, Heero withdrew the box from his pocket and handed it to her. Une opened the box, looked at the ring, and nodded to herself.
"As I thought," she said. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised." Looking up at him, she said, "It's a beautiful ring, Heero, but I'm afraid you've overlooked a fairly important point."
Heero said nothing, but raised an eyebrow in inquiry.
Lady Une gave a little laugh. "Heero, if you propose to Relena with this ring, you'll have to find an even better one to marry her with!"
Heero's face cleared. "I see," he said. After a moment's thought, he nodded abruptly. "Then I should return this and get a cheaper one. That is what you're telling me, is it not?"
"You don't have to return this one," Une said, handing it back to him. "Just get another one--which the Corps will not be paying for--and hold onto this one for the wedding. And now, I'm late for a Cabinet meeting. Dismissed."
"Thank you, Ma'am." Heero turned and left the office.
Aagh! Why does he have to do that so slowly? Relena thought irritatedly at her bodyguard, who was surveying the building's large entry hall. It never takes Heero this long... Oh, I'm sure he's just being careful, but it's just so different from what I'm used to... Relena scowled as the bodyguard led her down a hallway to a door flanked by two guards of the Presidential Security Detachment (Colonel Heero Yuy commanding). Her bodyguard-for-the-day preceded her into the meeting room and paused right in the doorway, blocking it. Heero is so much more unobtrusive, too... Aagh! Stop it, Relena! He can't help not being Heero! As she finished that thought, he moved aside, allowing her to brush past him. The door closed, and he took a position standing next to it.
"Commander Une sent word ahead that she'd be late," Relena's chief of staff said as Relena took her seat. "She said not to wait for her, so let's start with the Department of Education. Anything we need to know, Bill?"
"Well, we've gotten a few complaints about the new sexual education package we put into place last year, but nothing too major. We're seeing a drop in teen pregnancies, but the program is so new that we can't be sure if we're seeing one of the results we hoped for or just a statistical fluctuation. Also, we..."
All That Glitters, Glints, & Gleams Jewelry Shop, Brussels, 0912 hours
Johann Schmidt looked up as the bell on the door tinkled, indicating the presence of a customer. His face fell when he recognized Colonel Heero Yuy. Oh, God, not this lunatic again... He watched as Yuy made a beeline for the display of rings, looking them over. Then Yuy caught sight of him and beckoned him over.
"Don't tell me--the security of the World Nation needs another ring?" Schmidt said sarcastically as he approached.
"No, this is on my own," Yuy said. "I'd like that one," he pointed out a simple silver band.
"Oh?" Schmidt said. "Fine, then." He took the ring out and led the way to the cash register. Heero took out his debit card and swiped it through the mechanism; Schmidt then handed him the ring in a box and a receipt.
"Thank you," Heero said, and left the shop again.
Lady Une arrived at the Cabinet meeting in the middle of the Secretary of Labor's report on the diamond miners' strike in South Africa.
"I'm sorry I'm so late," she apologized. "A disciplinary matter came up that took longer than I anticipated. Please, continue." She took her seat at Relena's left hand.
"As I was saying," the Secretary of Labor began, "we and our mediators are hoping that the matter can be resolved without violence, and we've considered appointing someone to arbitrate--" He broke off at the sound of machinegun fire from outside the room. "What the--?"
Two armed men burst into the room. Lady Une immediately pushed Relena to the ground, dropping down herself.
"Death to you all!" one of the men shouted. Relena's bodyguard-for-the-day drew his pistol and put two rounds through the shouter's neck; the other assassin fired a burst into the bodyguard's gut. Convulsively, the dying guard's trigger finger jerked, sending another round smashing into the man's wrist, causing the assassin to drop his gun. The assassin reached inside his jacket with his good hand and produced a grenade. Pulling out the pin with his teeth, he tossed it over the table to where Lady Une and Relena were crouched.
"Ms. President!" Relena's chief of staff cried, throwing himself bodily on top of the grenade. It exploded, drenching Relena and Une in blood and gore. Aghast, Relena stared at the mangled, unrecognizable remains of her chief of staff's body.
Ignoring the stunned Relena, Lady Une drew her own pistol, peeked up over the table, and shot the assassin between the eyes. He fell to the ground, having contracted a serious case of dead. She stood then and declared, "This meeting is adjourned; we will reconvene at a later date." She pulled Relena to her feet. "And now, Ms. President, you need to get cleaned up... And so do I." She smiled humorlessly; Relena did not respond, but stared emptily into space.
Pagan was quite shocked when he opened the door of the Presidential Residence and saw Relena standing on the doorstep, covered in blood. "Miss Relena! What in the world has happened?" he asked, astonished.
"An assassination attempt, Pagan," she answered mechanically. "I'm going upstairs to shower and change."
"But Miss Relena! You're covered in blood!"
"Tom threw himself on a grenade to save me," Relena explained, her eyes blank. "I'd really like to get out of these clothes, Pagan."
Realizing that she was in shock, Pagan decided to let Heero try to bring her back. "Of course, Miss Relena. Heero should be up there already."
"Oh?"
Relena opened the door. "Heero?" she called.
"Is that you, Relena?" came the reply from the bathroom. "I thought you were in a Cabinet meeting."
As Pagan had hoped, Heero's voice snapped her out of her shock. "Oh, God!" she cried in anguish, dropping to her knees and beginning to sob.
"Relena!" Heero came running. Taking in at a glance the drying blood on her clothes and in her matted hair, he went to one knee beside her and took her by the shoulders. "Relena," he said gently, "what happened?"
"T-two assassins," she sobbed, lifting her head. "They burst into the meeting. My bodyguard--I never even found out his name!--took down one of them, b-but the other one got him in the stomach, and..." Relena took a gulp of air. "... Lady Une had pushed me to the floor, but I was looking over the edge of the table. So then, before he died, the guard shot the second assassin in the wrist of his gun hand, and then the assassin pulled out a grenade, pulled the pin out with his teeth, and lobbed it over the table to where Lady Une and I were... And- and then," she took another deep breath, "then T-tom just leapt on top of the grenade, and it blew up, and blood went everywhere, and his body was in pieces!"
"What happened then?" Heero asked softly.
"L-lady Une told me that she shot him in the head, the assassin, I mean, and then pulled me up and brought me here... But I can barely remember anything between Tom being," she swallowed, "blown up, and you answering me! I can't remember how I got here! I sort of remember talking to Pagan downstairs, but..." Relena looked away. "I'm sorry. I'm so weak compared to you. But why are people dying for me? Even people I don't even know?"
Heero's voice, when he spoke, was harder than it had been. "I've told you before, you are not weaker than I am. If anything, I'm weaker than you. But it sounds to me like you're experiencing post-combat trauma. I suggest you take a shower, put on some clean clothes, and relax. I'll have Pagan send up something to drink, all right?" He helped her to her feet.
"All right, Heero. Do you think I should see a psychologist?"
"Only if you can't get past it on your own or with my help. Go take a shower."
"Yes, sir," she said.
Half an hour later, Relena emerged from the bathroom, wearing a bathrobe. Heero was standing with his back to her, looking out the window. It was a break from his usual practice of leaving the room while she dressed, but she supposed that the attack that afternoon had made him even more paranoid than usual. Doing her best to ignore his presence, she went to her wardrobe, selected an outfit, and decided to go back into the bathroom to dress. She re-emerged minutes later and asked, "Incidentally, what were you doing in the bathroom when I came up?"
"I was changing the filters on the gas masks. I keep a pair here in the bedroom, too. I don't trust the ventilation system. Too easy to introduce a poisonous gas and let it circulate." Still he didn't turn around.
"You can look, Heero. I'm decent."
Heero turned around after that and walked over to the bottle of brandy and the glasses sitting on a platter on the table. Interposing his body between Relena and the platter, he poured some brandy into each glass. His left hand hovered over one glass for a moment, a pill held in his fingertips; then, thinking better of it, he palmed the capsule and picked up both glasses. Turning around, he offered the one in his left hand to Relena, who took it and sipped from it.
"So," she asked, "how has your day been so far? Did you get that--what did you call it? 'Unofficial business'? whatever-- did you get it taken care of?"
"... Not quite," Heero answered enigmatically after sipping from his own glass. "There were a few complications."
Relena raised an eyebrow as she took another sip of brandy. "'Complications'?" she echoed. "What kind of complications? Oh, forget it. I don't even know what you were doing that got complicated. I'll change the subject. Lady Une arrived late for the C-cabinet meeting," she got out with barely a stutter. "She said that she had had to deal with some sort of discipline problem. Do you know anything about that?"
Way to change the subject, Relena, Heero thought. Aloud, he said, "Yes."
"Well? As the Commander-in-Chief, don't you think that I ought to know?"
Still, Heero hesitated, and Relena let out a cry of realization.
"Aha! Did the disciplinary thing have anything to do with your 'unofficial business' this morning?"
Curses. "It was a question of whether or not a particular officer had abused his requisition authority," Heero said truthfully. Deciding to steer the conversation in a completely different direction, he asked, "Do you have any idea who you're going to make your new chief of staff?"
Relena didn't take just a sip this time, she took a swig. "N-no, I haven't," she said, blinking back tears.
"... Sorry," Heero apologized before returning to business. "All right, now you need to get back into President mode, as I'm sure there are things they need you for. Do you think you can do that? Can you make it through the day?"
"Yes, I think so," Relena said. "Let's go."
Brussels Presidential Residence, Saint Valentine's Day, After Colony 206, 0803 hours
"Well," Relena said over breakfast, "I've been thinking about a new chief of staff. How about Dorothy Catalonia?"
"Her? She's a duchess now. Why would she want to do hard work?"
"Well, you know we've been corresponding by letter," Relena answered. "Some of the things she's written give me the impression that she's looking for something to do with her time."
"Being your chief of staff would certainly do that," Heero observed.
"I'll talk to her later today. In the meantime, did the deputy chief of staff send my schedule over?"
"Yes."
"And you've memorized it already?" Relena asked lightly.
"Yes," Heero responded.
"As I thought. So tell me, what's on today's agenda?"
"Some bill signings, followed by a meeting with Lady Une about the latest Intelligence about what the AMS is doing up in Vulkanus, a press conference about the incident yesterday, and then..." Heero paused.
"Yes?" Relena prompted, smiling.
"After that, you're scheduled to visit the Romefeller Foundation's Valentine's Day Ball in Bremin, for some reason," Heero said.
"Dorothy sent me an invitation with her last letter," Relena said.
"Why?"
"Well, I am still a Princess, you know, and technically still a member," she said, "and I just couldn't resist the opportunity to make you wear formal clothing."
Heero scowled at the thought. "Sadist. You know I don't like it," he pointed out.
"But you look so handsome and respectable in formal dress!" Relena countered, now grinning with overt glee.
"Hn," Heero reverted to his old standby monosyllabic grunt.
Some time later, Relena and Heero exited the Brussels Executive Headquarters building and got into her limo.
"God, that was the press conference from hell," Relena heaved a sigh. "I'm beginning to understand why you hate reporters so much, Heero."
"Nosy bastards," Heero agreed. "Can't understand the words 'classified information' or 'need to know only'. Don't know what's good for them."
Look who's talking, Mr. Self-Detonation, Relena thought. "On the other hand," she said, brightening up, "Now we can get ready for the Valentine's Day Ball."
Heero made an expression of resignation.
"Don't worry, Heero," she sighed with fond indulgence. "It'll be fine if you wear what you wore to Milliardo and Noin's wedding."
"Good," Heero said.