"Twitchy-saaan!"

Kira jumped in his seat, almost scattering the paperwork that he had meticulously straightened oh god-

"-Y-yes, Kusajishi-san?" said the blonde Vice Captain in an attempt at cheer that fell horribly flat. it wasn't good to worry about the little things after all, that was bad for his blood pressure and-

"I'm booored," said the small, pink-haired Vice Captain, effectively interrupting his mental tirade. "Pachinko-Head an' Funny-Brow aren't around no more, an' Ken-chan's grumpy 'cause he didn't get to go with them an' fight Hollows, an' Maki-Maki's head hurts real bad so nobody wants to play with me."

"I'm... very sorry about that, Kusajishi-san," said Kira, not really sure how to respond to that. ...he certainly hoped she didn't expect him to fill in, as he was very busy and-

"Play with me!" said Yachiru. Kira's left eye twitched involuntarily.

"Ah- well," replied Kira, trying very hard to keep his voice level, "I would, but unfortunately I have lots of paperwork to finish-"

"But why do you wanna do that?" interrupted Yachiru, placing her hands on her hips in a childish display of concern. "That's no fun at all!"

"But- it's important," said Kira in a slightly exasperated tone. ...not to mention that he rather liked the mathematical bits, but that wouldn't help the situation much.

"But it's not fun," reiterated the young Vice Captain with extra emphasis. "Maybe if you didn't do paperwork all the time you wouldn't be so sad all the time!"

"I'm... not sad," lied Kira. At least he had been i trying /i to keep Captain Ichima- the thing that had been bothering him off his mind.

"You look sad!" insisted Yachiru.

"I do!"

"Yeah! You always look like your best friend looked strong but really wasn't so Ken-chan accident'ly killed him!"

...well, that was an interesting analogy.

"Er-"

"So maybe if you play with me you'll feel better!" interjected the girl before Kira could get a word in edgewise.

"...well," said Kira as he turned back to his desk, hoping to find a happy medium, "when I finish my paperwork I promise that I'll play with you. Is that alri- oh god."

The paperwork was gone. ...as was his pen. In fact, the desk was almost completely bare.

"I have a better idea!" shouted a cheerful voice from the direction of the window. Kira turned in horror to see Yachiru- with the paperwork- standing triumphantly on top of the frame.

"How about we play Chase, an' when we're done I'll give you your paperwork back?"

"I- Kusajishi-san- please, just let me finish it-"

"Ready..." said Yachiru, ignoring his pleas.

"Ohgod-"

"Set..."

"PLEASE, Kusajishi-san, it's-"

"GO!" whooped the girl as she sped away.

"-veryimportant," finished Kira lamely.

...so much for keeping his blood pressure down.

Okay, thought Kira as he attempted to follow her. I can do this. Even though she is fast as he- as all get out, I will continue to pursue her.

...and hyperventilating will not help the situation.

At all.

In fact, it would be counterproductive as-

"Twitchy-san! Why're you going all slow an' breathing all heavy?"

Kira stopped hyperventilating for a second to look to the left. Yachiru had apparently slowed down enough to talk to him- she had all the paperwork, and while it'd need some straightening out i there was a god and right now he or she was smiling down on him. /i

"Are you tired already, Twitchy-san?" said Yachiru, her brow furrowed slightly. "You're not bein' a very good playmate."

"My ap- I'm- er-" stuttered the blonde Shinigami, trying to figure out the correct terminology that would convince Yachiru to give the paperwork back and keep him from getting attacked by the Eleventh Division in the near future.

"You can't go all slow like that. You need to go FAST!" she said as she broke into a run as a demonstration, with a sheet of paper coming loose off the top oh god was it yes it was VERY important the Captain General would have his head if he lost it-

Kira dove, and while that couldn't possibly be good for his ribs and internal organs he managed to get the paper, so it was alright.

Then he remembered that Yachiru was making off with the rest of them and rapidly becoming a small pink blur in the distance. Trying to keep his breathing level, he sped off after the girl. Of course, he'd never catch up. She was impossibly fast, and- now is not the time for self doubt, Izuru. You are on a mission. You will accomplish it, or die trying. You will not run into Captain Unohana who is too close right now for you to swerve around and- OH GOD.

There was a horrible, horrible silence after they crashed to the floor. Kira's left eye twitched involuntarily, which was the only movement he made for about thirty seconds. Twenty-eight point two, to be precise.

Then, he carefully moved off her and helped her up, apologizing profusely and coherently, he hoped and attempting to explain why he had been careless, that it would never, ever, happen again, and apologizing a few more times just to make sure everything was alright and that she wouldn't eat him. He was immensely relieved when she smiled serenely at him.

"Oh, I understand."

Kira's heart leapt at the fact that he was not going to die in some horrible, mysterious accident sometime in the near future.

"Er! Well, it was my fault for being careless-"

"It's fine for now. May we meet again soon."

"Ah- yes," replied Kira as he resumed his chase, feeling considerably good about the encounter. Let's see, her reiatsu is that way- wait why would Captain Unohana want to see me soon- oh god oh god oh god I need a drink. Now.

"What took you so long, Twitchy-san?" said Yachiru in a bored tone as the Third Division's Vice Captain walked towards her, wheezing from the sheer amount of hyperventilating he had been doing.

"-well it's a long story-"

"Ooh!" said Yachiru, her expression brightening. "Does it have lots an' lots of knights killin' dragons an' other stuff?"

Kira stared at the girl as though she were one of the Twelfth Division's more… unusual pet projects.

"…no, Kusajishi-san."

The look on Yachiru's face was vaguely reminiscent of a child who had been denied a puppy.

"…not even one knight killin' stuff?"

"…no. No knights."

"Aww…" said Yachiru, looking horribly downcast.

"-well if you want to hear a story about that-" said Kira hurriedly, hoping to avoid a crisis.

"Nah! Ken-chan always tells 'em better!" said the Vice Captain of the Eleventh Division brightly. "'Sides, I don't think you'd be a very good storyteller, Twitchy-san."

"…is that so," said Kira wearily. She probably didn't have much of a grasp on mathematics, at any rate.

"Yeah! You don't got excitement in your life, Twitchy-san."

This was true at the present, however, when Captain Ichimaru had been around there was never a dull moment.

…not that that had been good thing.

Of course, it hadn't been a bad thing, either…

"You look sad again, Twitchy-san!" said Yachiru, effectively jolting Kira out of his thoughts. "I still think it's all that paperwork."

"Oh-er-"

The paperwork! Yes, that's why he was here in the first place.

"-While we're on the subject, where i is /i the paperwork?" said Kira, looking around in case he had missed it. Yachiru looked momentarily confused, and then brightened.

"Oh! I dropped it."

Kira's heart stopped. …then it started again, considerably faster than it had been previously.

"…you dropped it," he managed to say in a level voice, which was surprising considering his brain now had the words oh god oh god oh god running through it at two hundred miles per hour.

"Yeah!" replied Yachiru cheerfully. "It was slowin' me down, so I dropped it… somewhere. I don't really remem- Twitchy-san! You're not supposed to play Roll Down the Hill on stairs! You'll get hurt real bad!"