Allo! I saw RENT yesterday! So good. So sad. So now I'm sharing the joy with an update! And for everyone who wanted Severus and Hermione to get together, this is for you.

Chapter 15: Things You Never Told Me

" 'In all your fantasies
You always knew
That man and mystery'
'Were both in you' "

-The Phantom of the Opera,The Phantom of the Opera

Hermione raced into the library. What was that about? Lucius, the man was so…infuriating! Speaking in riddles, giving mystery clues. She began to tear books out of the shelves, not caring where they landed. She didn't even know what she was looking for! This was utterly and completely ridiculous! But that didn't stop her from searching.

Soon though, Hermione's quest for whatever Lucius had been talking about was put on hold. She remembered for the first time in a long time just why she'd started this dangerous game of hers in the first place. To help Harry. With the Horcruxes, the final battle, Voldemort's weaknesses. Feeling guilty, she began flipping through pages, looking for something, anything to prove that all she'd done, all she'd gone through, had not been in vain.

She'd almost given up hope when she came across a passage in Dark Magical Objects and How They Can Work For You

HORCRUXES

Horcruxes are both extremely useful and extremely dangerous. One risks an eternity of damnation if ever all Horcruxes are destroyed. But for those cunning enough to withstand the sands of time, Horcruxes are wonderful assets.

A Horcrux can be anything and though living creatures are not advised, they can be used. Beware; side effects do occur in the Horcrux such as:

Increased sexual appetite
Taking on characteristics of the person's soul of which it is imbued
Increased power
Sickness
Weakness
Death of one of the souls inhabiting Horcrux' body.

The best creatures to use for a Horcrux would be an animal or a host without a soul. However, if using a soul infested host, such as a human, eviction of the host's soul is recommended beforehand. If the soul is not evicted, the host's soul stands the chance to battle out the invading soul, rendering the Horcrux useless.

Hermione read over the passage several times. Each time she did, the description sounded eerier and eerier. Without meaning to, she began to go down the list of symptoms.

Increased sexual appetite? Hermione thought briefly about her encounters with Lucius and Severus. Check.

Increased power? It wasn't every day she worked against nature. Check.

But none of the others seemed to be true. Perhaps she was just over thinking things. Perhaps this had nothing to do with what Lucius had referred to.

But still, a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that she had indeed stumbled upon the right answer.

The door opened, Lucius had returned. Hermione closed her book shut with such force that the pages blew up a gust of wind at her.

She stared at the cover, deep in thought and remained in that state until Lucius discovered her there.

He looked upside down at the cover, reading it. "So now you know." He stated.

Hermione tilted her head to Lucius, searching his calm face. "Is it true?"

"Is what true?" Hermione knew the game he was playing. He wanted to make her say it aloud.

"Am I a Horcrux?"

Lucius crossed the room, looking at Hermione all the while. "What do you think?"

She fought her urge to throw up on the carpet. "I am, aren't I?"

"Well, let's review," Lucius began counting off on his fingers. "Your increased interest in Dark Magic, the fact that you made a flower bloom with power far beyond your normal abilities. And sleeping with me, I believe that would be a result of your increased sexual appetite. It does seem like you are."

Hermione's whole body began to shake. This wasn't happening, it couldn't be happening.

"Strange though, that no one told you. Until now."

Oh gods, Severus. He'd kept this from her. "You mean everyone knew?" She croaked out. Her heart felt like it was contracting and expanding at the same time and it hurt. She began to breathe in small, shallow breaths.

"You didn't honestly think that they were being civil out of the darkness of their hearts, did you?" Lucius looked deeply at Hermione and lifted a blond eyebrow. "Did you?"

Those unimaginable bastards. Lucius. Voldemort. And most of all, Severus. How could he do this to her? How could he've kept this from her? How would she explain this to Harry?

Harry! She was now one of the only things standing between him and victory. She was now the cause of all this darkness, all this terror. She knew what she had to do. And she ran.

LHSLHSLHS

Lucius watched her as she ran from his rooms. The look of pure terror in her eyes had been…unforgettable. He would remember that look for as long as the Dark Lord deemed him to live. How delicious, that he had been the one to tell her. And if she was angry with him, it would be nothing compared to the anger she would feel for Severus. With him alienated, she would have nothing to do but come back to Lucius at some point. It would all work out, he was sure of that.

Severus stepped out of his rooms in time to see Hermione tearing down the hallway. Lucius saw the vein near Severus' temple pulse as he so obviously fought his instinct to run after her. How transparent he was, Severus didn't even bother to try to hide his feelings for Hermione at this moment. What a fool.

"Where's she going?" Severus' eyes could not be ripped from the direction she'd gone.

"I'm not sure." Lucius answered as truthfully.

"Are you going after her?" Snape's body turned, but not his head.

"No. And I don't advise you to either."

"Why not?"

In a moment, Lucius changed his mind. "Do what you want Severus. She's not my problem anymore."

LHSLHSLHS

Had Lucius not retracted his word of caution, Severus would have still gone after her. He hadn't seen Hermione so worked up since when she was first brought to the Headquarters. And besides, a little part of him was wondering if her flight had something to do with his behavior that morning.

It didn't take him long to find her. In an empty room, a boardroom that had abandoned several years before. It was what he found her doing that shocked him the most.

A long dagger was laid out on the table before her, and for a fleeting moment, Severus wondered where she had gotten it. Most likely she'd conjured it, further proof that her powers from the Dark Lord were threatening to bury her. She was studying it, running her hands over the hilt and then the blade. She looked like a seductive Juliet, readying herself for her tomb. Her skin was so pale and perfect. In a flash, Severus could see what she meant to do, see the scar that would mar her skin and the blood rushing out in a red curtain before his eyes.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide. She picked up the dagger and made to thrust it at herself.

"Expelliarmus!"

The blade flew from Hermione's hands and landed on the floor next to his feet. "What in the bloody hell do you think you are doing?"

She lunged at his feet, trying to reclaim the knife. But he was too fast for her and scooped it up. That however, did not deter her. Instead, she went at him.

"You bastard!" Her nails were at his face, scratching and clawing him, trying their best to hurt him in any way possible. "Give it to me! Please…please…" the tears were streaming down her face now. "I'm evil! I can feel this thing inside of me…how could I have not noticed it before? Just let me do this…let me be strong…please Severus. Let me be strong…" She was struggling against him, fighting him, and then clinging to him. She alternated between the two, just as she alternated between pleading and demanding.

He held her tighter to his body, hoping that she would wear herself out. It took longer than expected, but at last her sobs quieted and body stilled.

"Hermione, what happened?" He had a cold feeling in his heart that he already knew what she was about to say, but needed to hear it from her.

"Wouldn't you like to know? I bet you had the whole thing planned out with your buddy Lucius. How could you not tell me? How could you keep from me the truth about what I am?"

"Listen to me; you have to remember that you're Hermione. Hermione Granger. You have to believe that."

"Even though it's not exactly true is it? I'm part of…him! I'm part of that monster! That…" words failed Hermione for the first time in her life. "And Harry, what about him? You should've killed me Severus, should have let me kill myself. Are you really going to make Harry do it?"

"We hoped that it wouldn't come to that…we hoped…" Severus trailed off, unable to continue.

"We?" Hermione echoed. "Who's we? Don't tell me Harry already knows. He must be disgusted with me, I'm disgusted with myself." As if to prove her point, Hermione turned around and gagged, but nothing came out. "Oh gods, and Ron!"

Severus struggled to calm her down; these hysterics were getting them nowhere. "Hermione, think about it! You have no more of the Dark Lord in you than Harry himself! He got the Dark Lord's abilities; you got his soul. And they don't know. No one in the Order does, save for Draco and myself."

Hermione became side tracked with the mere mention of Draco. Her curiosity won out of all her other emotions. "Draco's alive? And in the Order? And you knew?"

"He left shortly before you arrived. He learned of the plan and went to warn you and Potter and Weasley. But you were captured before he reached you."

"He tried to save me?"

"Yes."

"And then I was taken here. To be made… a Horcrux," Hermione said the last words as if they left a bad taste in her mouth.

"Yes."

"Is this why I repulse you? Why you hate yourself each time you touch me?" Hermione's voice cracked as she asked the question.

"Hermione, don't say that…you don't repulse me."

"Don't try to lie to me Severus. I'm done with all your lies. Tell me the truth! For once in your life, be honest with me!"

"I am being honest! It's not you, it's me! I hate that I have these feelings for you, even though you don't have them for me. I hate that my feelings for you have kept me from doing my job. Most of all I hate myself for not knowing why I feel the way I do." His fingers brushed her cheek and she turned so as not to face him. "Not knowing why I love you."

"I thought I made it pretty clear how I felt about you Severus. What do you mean I don't have the same feelings for you?"

"You don't. What you're feeling is lust, fascination, all trick mirrors, and smoke. Like what you felt for Malfoy. Nothing more."

"How can you honestly believe that? What Malfoy and I had…that was a mistake. I wanted you, and I couldn't have you, you have to believe me. That was the only reason I did what I did. Severus, I love you. That's not Voldemort talking, it's me."

Uncertainty still stained Severus' eyes. So Hermione leaned in and gave him a searing kiss that was not to be argued with.

For the first time, Severus allowed himself to touch her as if she were his, without guilt and without wondering. His fingers tangled in her hair, bringing her head closer to his. He felt Hermione's hands at his shirt, unbuttoning it and slipping it off of him.

"This isn't…" Severus' lust addled brain struggled to protest. "You're…you don't know what you're doing…"

"Shh," Hermione whispered into his ear. "This is what I want. What I need. Let me have it?"

Severus gave in, allowed his brain to cease thinking and let go. She wanted it, and he wanted it even more than she. He would have her. He would make her his.

LHSLHSLHS

Lucky Hermione…grumble grumble.

Personal Comments:

laragirl007: Oh, God no. Never. Ever. Voldemort's feelings toward Hermione are sort of fatherly. He would never sleep with her. And he wants the best for her, which is why he wants her to be connected to Severus or Lucius, both of whom would protect her and lend her credibility.