Okay-
Amy Lee:
Thanks for the critique on my fanfic, but I have a few explanations, which I will post after the end of this chapter so people won't have to scroll down forever. So, just look at the bottom.
tessa: if by crazy do you mean good crazy? because then I'll be happy! hee. xoxo!
Pozest-Illusion: thanks again, and I love cliffhangers, so hah! well, i'm writing them anyway! mua ha ha…
Recap from Chapter 5:
So, with mind decided, Hermione confidently strode over to a clock, observing she still had about an hour left before lunch.
"So much for that idea." Hermione said, disappointed. "Hey, I wonder…" she said, rushing off to the bathroom.
When she got there, she heard someone crying. She carefully peered into the partially flooded room, and almost shrieked.
"M—Myrtle?"
To continue………
The newly-departed soul of Myrtle Mercier (A/N: I made up her last name) was sitting on the sill of the giant circular window in the third-floor girl's bathroom. Hermione never had seen the explanation for the window there. It never let any light in, and it was a particularly bland design—endless swirls of dull blues and grays, with the occasional spark of black. It used to be caked with dust, dirt, and grime, and she faintly remembered one of the panes of glass being completely broken, and another cracked from the center out. But this one was different. It looked newer; the colors more vibrant than before. Don't get it wrong—it was still boring, but just the slightest bit intriguing. Like you wanted to know how and why it was put there.
The sobbing girl ceased just enough so there was the slight hiccupping and sniffling to be heard. The familiar voice responded, "Y—yes?"
Hermione would have laughed if the situation had been in her own time. Just the whole scene. Myrtle in her transparent dress and high pigtails, crying her eyes out (figuratively speaking), and the same high-pitched voice.
"Y—you have come to laugh at me, too, have you!" Myrtle dramatically accused.
"No, not at all, Myrtle! I just came in to say hello." Hermione replied warmly.
Even as a ghost, Myrtle gave a vividly clear look of suspicion. "Hmm…I haven't seen you before! You're not O—Olive H—Hornby's s—sister, a—are you?" she started bawling again, rushing off with only a faint splash to be heard, and the slopping of water droplets on a door.
Hermione smiled at Myrtle's unchanging behavior, but stood there all the same. "Myrtle? I know you're in there! There's no use hiding from me, even if it's hard to see you. And, I am absolutely NOT Olive Hornby's sister…or any relation for that matter. I just came to ask you a question." Hermione said, looking around to see which toilet Myrtle disappeared to this time.
Slowly, a head of about a 15-year-old popped through the third door from the left. Hermione, having just seen it, uttered a shriek of surprise, then softened. "Don't do that!" she laughed.
Myrtle joined in, and in an even higher, but not crying, voice, she said, "I'm terribly sorry. But it's just so fun!" she twirled around in mid-air, the spectral dress glittering from the dimming lights.
Hermione suddenly got rather serious. "Myrtle." She said.
Moaning Myrtle stopped spinning, to look at her behind her glasses. "What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.
"I know how you died." Hermione stated.
Myrtle abruptly flashed anger. "YOU DO NOT!" she screamed. "NO ONE KNOWS! NO ONE EXCEPT HIM!" she yelled, pointing a thin, ethereal finger at something beyond Hermione.
Terrified, Hermione looked behind her, only to see a boy leaning against the door, raising his eyebrow somewhat, looking infuriatingly amused. Hermione did not want to abandon her 'chat' with a freshly-dead Myrtle, because she wanted to see how Myrtle knew it was Tom that killed her. Well, not him personally, but under his control. Myrtle only knew where and by what she died, not how or why. Hermione, Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Dumbledore were the only ones that really did know the truth. Hermione was terribly puzzled by this. How would Myrtle think that Tom had something to do or knew about her demise if she didn't in the future?
"T—Tom!" Hermione stuttered. "What are you doing here?"
"Well," he replied calmly, "I did not see you at lunch and I went to go find you." He still had an amused appearance, but now had a Malfoy-worth smirk on his face. This got Hermione so exceptionally angry.
"Y—You!" Myrtle cut in with surprising fury. Tom even seemed the smallest bit taken aback at the spontaneous lividness from a ghost that he hadn't spoken to in five years.
"Yes. Me." He replied, now unfazed.
Hermione now interrupted. "You arrogant, selfish, self-absorbed, nasty, nauseating, inferior bastard!"
Myrtle looked impressed, and crossed her arms with a "Hmph!" with Hermione feeling surprised about her sudden outburst, but happy nonetheless.
Tom was composed and unaffected. He almost looked bored. This made Hermione even angrier. Tom clapped his hands slowly in mock applause. "Bravo. The witch has a dark side."
Hermione narrowed her eyes, and pursed her lips, clenching and unclenching her teeth. "I could say the same thing about you, Tom Riddle!" she emphasized. She smirked back as she saw his ever-growing anger expression. His eyes flashed dangerously with hatred.
"You have no idea what you're talking about wench! I have a new name now and that is not part of it! You just leave the hell alone in things you don't understand!" he spat back with every word dripping in venom.
Hermione, however, was glad she now had the upper hand, and the usually collected and cool Riddle was seething with fury. Hermione just repeated his eyebrow-raising gesture along with the best Draco Malfoy sneer she could muster up.
"Tsk, tsk, young Mr. Riddle. I would have thought better of you! To get all worked up over a name." she shook her head in ridicule as she stepped forward with each word. She finally was only about a foot away when she whispered in his ear, "Or would you prefer the term…Voldemort?"
His expression changed from loathing to sheer surprise as his now bright brown eyes widened. "H—How do you…" he trailed off.
"Oh, I have my ways." She answered distantly, waving her hand. "But, I really must be off. Places to go, people to see, you know."
She looked back for a fleeting instant at the previously silent ghost, who was now holding in rolling fits of laughter as she was watching the scene. She was shaking with attempted control. Finally, she let loose in a fit of loud, piercing giggles. Her pigtails were waving back and forth as she struggled for breath. Tom looked at her like he wanted to strangle her right there. Fortunately for her, she was already dead.
Hermione just smiled at Myrtle who now was recovered enough to look at her, though still chuckling hysterically. Hermione gave her the smallest wink as she left in a spin of robes and bag, leaving a speechless Tom Marvolo Riddle in her midst.
So…what do you think? I was going to make this longer, although I don't know—it just seemed like a good place to stop…sorry guys! Next chapter will be up hopefully by the 26th, but maybe as late as the 28th.
Amy Lee:
First, I tried to edit this a little bit to accommodate the 'bookworm we all know and love', but I didn't want to abandon my plan completely.
Second, I think it's acceptable if she has attraction at first sight, do you not? After all, the stupendous J.K. Rowling never actually put in Hermione's point of views—just Harry's, so you really don't know what she was like.
Third, I am from America, and I am into football, so I related Tom's build to that of a high school or NFL player. You're right—I don't know exactly what sports would cause him to look similar, but as you said, 'Harry Potter fans span the globe after all'. Therefore, it might be somewhat annoying to those that are British, but for Americans I think they could relate, so then it would be unfair to us in the United States, I think.
Lastly, I'm not sure what parts of my fic you are relating to that they 'belong in an American high school'. I think that is totally unfair and judgmental. I don't see any truly immature parts that are way out of character for anyone. Maybe it's just me, but I haven't heard that from anyone else, either.
So, while I appreciate your opinion about my writing style and content, I do not agree with a lot of what you said. I'm not trying to be mean and hostile, but it's just what I think. So, if you could please tell me exactly why you thought that, then I would be much appreciative. Thanks.
Yours truly,
luvseanfaris