Little Blue Bowling Hood & The Big Bad Banana
Once upon a time, in a forest far away, there was a cottage. This is where Little Blue Bowling Hood lived with her mother and forty other sisters. Strange as it seems, Little Blue Bowling Hood was the only nice, gentle, and caring one out of them all! (Including the mother)
"Hood!" shrieked the mother amidst the bickering and quarrelling of her daughters.
Reluctantly, Little Blue Bowling Hood came down the rickety stairs and struggled through her screaming sisters "Uh, yes?" she replied.
"Now listen, Hood," snarled her mother, leaning towards her "You are going to take this basket of rats to your grandma, understand?" Little Blue Bowling Hood nodded hesitantly. As her mother gave her the basket of wriggling rats, her mother forced a creaky old smile. It was easy to tell it was fake. "You do know where your grandma lives, don't ya?"
"Y-y-yes…" stuttered Little Blue Bowling Hood. As she turned around, she caught a whiff of her mother's stench. She gagged and continued towards the door.
Her sisters pulled her hair and stepped on her toes, poked her eyes, punched her nose! Slapped her sides, pulled her blue cloak, bit at her ankles, and covered her in coke!
When, at last, she reached the door, she slammed it shut. Too bad that can't contain the noisy lot! She dusted herself down, picked up the basket, and began to skip along the road to her grandma's house.
She hummed a little tune, and was skipping merrily, when suddenly she heard a crack! She looked back and saw nothing. It must have been a squirrel… she thought but picked up her pace, as she wasn't sure what lurked about in the woods.
The trees began to rustle violently and a blood-freezing gale burst through the forest, blowing poor Little Blue Bowling hood over! She regained her balance and forced her way through the unforgiving wind. She shivered as it bit at her skin.
It soon died down and Little Blue Bowling hood sat under a tree to catch her breath. She pushed down firmly on the basket to keep the stinky rats inside. She had no idea why her grandma would want rats for a gift. What use are they?
She sighed, got up, and gazed around. Everything seemed normal now despite the screaming wind earlier. Whatever it was it would have to wait, the sooner she got to her grandma's house the better!
Suddenly, there came a very peculiar sound "Wark!"
Little Blue Bowling Hood decided to find out what it was; after all she had plenty of time.
"Wark!" the sound came again, but a little louder this time. It must be getting closer!
Nervously, Little Blue Bowling Hood waited for the owner of the sound to come nearer.
"Wark!" it was really close this time! A few moments of silence passed and then finally, something emerged.
It was a tall yellow-feathered bird with long, clawed legs and small wings. It's beak was orange and slightly curved at the end.
Little Blue Bowling Hood let out a sigh of relief when she realized that it was only a Chocobo! She ran up to it and stroked its side. The Chocobo squeaked softly in response.
She then had a brilliant idea! Chocobos were meant to be tame enough for someone to ride them. If this was true then she could get to grandma's house in no time at all!
To test her theory she leaned over to a Green Bush. These Green Bushes had a Chocobos favorite food, Gyshal Greens! She picked a handful and offered them to the Chocobo. It was cautious at first but ate them right out of Little Blue Bowling Hood's hand! It was careful to be gentle.
Now that the Chocobo was content, she was going to try to mount it. It is like mounting a horse. She heaved herself onto the Chocobos back and patted its neck. The Chocobo gave a happy squeak, picked up the basket full of rats, and let Little Blue Bowling Hood take it from its beak.
Little Blue Bowling Hood kicked the Chocobos side slightly and steered the Chocobo in the right direction while holding onto the basket tightly.
The Chocobo was extremely fast and swift, it dodged any obstacles in its way with great control and agility.
In no time at all, grandma's house was in sight. Little Blue Bowling Hood slowed the Chocobo to a halt and dismounted. She gave it a hug and it gave a gleeful "Wark." She then waved good-bye to the Chocobo, which nodded slightly and ran off.
Little Blue Bowling Hood then made her way down a hill towards grandma's house. Little did she know that someone had already beaten her there!
The Big Bad Banana had been watching Little Blue Bowling Hood for some time and had decided to set a trap for her. So he had taken a secret shortcut to grandma's house. Once there he arrived there, he busted down the door, picked grandma up by her collar and threw her down a deep precipice which, conveniently, was just outside grandma's window. He then quickly got dressed in grandma's clothes and got into her bed. While waiting for her, he reached to the top of his head, peeled it, took a bit of banana, and ate it. He hadn't eaten in a while so cannibalism was the only option until Little Blue Bowling Hood arrived.
Little Blue Bowling Hood came to her grandma's door (which was badly damaged and fell as she touched it) she slowly took a few steps inside and shouted "Grandma! I have the basket of stuff you wanted!"
"I'm over here dear!" The Big Bad Banana spoke in a fake grandma voice with which he managed to fool Little Blue Bowling Hood.
Little Blue Bowling Hood walked up to her grandma's bedside "Gee, grandma, what tiny weenie eyes you have!"
"All the better not to see you very well, my dear." Came the sneaky banana's reply.
"PU, grandma! You smell like rotten bananas!"
"All the better to…uh…Scare away vultures that try to feast on my old, decaying body, my dear."
Little Blue Bowling Hood raised her eyebrow at The Big Bad Bananas reply "Right. Wow, grandma! What large teeth you have!"
"Actually…I don't have teeth." Answered the banana solemnly.
They both stared at each other in silence… Until The Big Bad Banana suddenly grabbed Little Blue Bowling Hood and tied her up in a chair! She screamed and screamed but it seemed that no one could hear her! The Big Bad Banana laughed an evil laugh that sent chills up poor Little Blue Bowling Hood's spine.
Meanwhile, not too far away from grandma's house, atop a huge mountain that reached through the clouds and past the moon, something had been awoken by Little Blue Bowling Hood's cries of distress… A roar echoed across the world as a huge and mighty birdlike creature arose from its nest on top of the mountain. With a beat of its wings, it lifted itself up and began its long descent of the mountain. It spiraled through the air with such grace and magnificence. Its wings were enclosed around its body so it could dive faster.
Its eyes glowed an icy blue inside its helmet, which was in the shape of a bird's head wielding a sharp pointed beak at the end. It left a trail of glitter in its wake as it dove through space. The Sun reflected off its helmet, casting a golden beam of light across its body.
Soon, it penetrated through the clouds and headed toward grandma's house. As it got nearer it opened its wings and let the wind carry it over the house.
Little Blue Bowling Hood and The Big Bad Banana heard a loud sonic boom from above them. The roof was then ripped off by the speed of the wind the creature created in its wake. Both of them looked up and saw it hovering above them. The Big Bad Banana hollered in pain as the creature picked him up in its beak and tossed him down the precipice.
Little Blue Bowling Hood looked on in fear at the mighty beast. It landed on the edge of the house's wall and somehow, cut the ropes binding Little Blue Bowling Hood to the chair, using magic.
She looked up in awe at the beast and ran outside to thank it. It seemed to smile as Little Blue Bowling Hood said her thanks and gave it a nice hug.
However, darkness was falling fast and Little Blue Bowling Hood would never manage to get home safely. Just then, the bird creature picked her up by her cloak and placed her on its back. It motioned with its eyes for her to hold on tight. She obeyed.
Surprisingly, the beast's feathers were remarkably soft making it comfortable for Little Blue Bowling Hood to sit on. She then remembered a legend she had heard a long time ago. About a guardian that lived atop a mountain would soon come down to earth and fight the prince of dragons, Bahamut. The guardian was known by the name of Valefor. Little Blue Bowling Hood had a terrible thought come to her… If Valefor was here, then where was-
Suddenly, there was a loud bellow from somewhere within the forest. An enormous dragon like monster lifted itself out of the trees and came charging at them! It had two huge multicoloured wings, and a pair of large claws. Its feet also had claws and a kick from them would definitely be fatal, and so would a whip from its long tail! As it got closer, Valefor readied herself to dodge the dragon's onslaught.
Just at the right time, Valefor ducked as Bahamut's claw collided with the house's wall, causing it to crumble, like a cookie, to the ground.
Little Blue Bowling Hood was pushed back with great force as Valefor took off. Bahamut whirled around and with an angry growl, flew after them. Valefor took care not to throw Little Blue Bowling hood around too much but it was hard not to as she was trying to dodge Bahamut's attacks.
Valefor jerked upwards and spun around to face Bahamut who was flying at a great speed, she was going to do an Energy Ray. Slowly, she drew her head back as a shimmering purple light formed inside her beak and she shot it at Bahamut. The beam pierced the ground in front of him and then large pillars of rock broke through the earth's surface and Bahamut smashed head long into them with a loud explosion.
Still, Valefor wasted no time in escaping and continued flying over the forest. A terrifying roar shook the ground as Bahamut charged at full speed through the rocks, splitting them apart and continued the chase. It was now his turn.
With a gigantic burst of speed, Bahamut speared through the air and managed to get ahead of where Valefor was flying to. He turned around and flipped backwards onto the ground, digging his claws into the ground firmly. He secured his front claws and the geometric symbol, in the shape of a circle with various patterns on it, which hovered close to his back, started to spin and draw in energy. He opened his jaws and began to charge up a Mega Blast. Once it was fully charged, he released it. The beam shot across the forest, ripping up trees and other debris in its wake.
Valefor saw it just in time and shielded herself and Little Blue Bowling Hood. They both braced themselves for the impact. The blinding beam of white light crashed into them but, fortunately, Valefor was able to keep her shield up. That wasn't the end of the attack, she then had to dodge the flying debris caught up in the Mega Blast. She wheeled and twirled in the air, the debris missing her with every move she made. It was more like an elegant dance then anything else. Little Blue Bowling Hood held on with all the strength she had.
Bahamut waited for the smoke to clear and roared in fury when he saw Valefor was still alive. He raced towards her, but to his horror, Valefor was preparing her ultimate attack, the Energy Blast. With amazing agility and grace, she back-flipped and flew higher. She then quickly drew a faint circle in the air using her head. The circle became a symbol of power, which Valefor shot a beam into. The beam went all around the circle and suddenly, multiple streams of white came out the other side and headed towards Bahamut. They twisted around each other in mid-air until they collided with Bahamut.
Soon, gravity pulled Bahamut down to the ground and he landed on his front with a loud thud.
As the dust cleared, Little Blue Bowling Hood and Valefor saw Bahamut's lifeless body on the ground. Valefor then flapped her wings and continued the flight to Little Blue Bowling Hood's house.
She landed by the house softly and bent down so Little Blue Bowling Hood could climb off.
"Thank you so much, Valefor." Said Little Blue Bowling Hood as she stroked the mighty bird's feathers feathers.
Valefor replied with a soft purring sound.
"Hood? Is that you?" came her mother's raspy voice from within the house.
"Oh no!" Little Blue Bowling Hood whispered in alarm "Valefor, you have to hide!"
Heeding her advice, Valefor flapped her wings and flew off, back to her mountain in the stars.
Little Blue Bowling Hood smiled as Valefor's silhouette vanished over the horizon. Her smile still didn't fade as her mother came out and started to rant at her.
After five minutes of shouting her mother finally calmed down and asked "How is Grandma?"
Little Blue Bowling Hood hesitated as she searched for a reasonable explanation "Uh… She says hi."
And they all lived happily ever after...
This is the legend:
When the Moon is full, at its peak
The wind and trees will start to speak
Look to the mountains, look to the sky
A raging battle will soon be nigh
The Prince of dragons will arise
To seek the guardian's elusive demise
Both will fight, but who will win?
Will it be good? Or will it be sin?