TITLE: Distantly in Love
AUTHORS: Gillian Taylor(Dark Aegis) & NNWest
DISCLAIMER: Don't own them. We just like playing with them...a lot.
Chapter Thirty-one
Daylight crept through the forests of Ampelle, chasing away most of the shadows that lay beneath its multi-hued branches. The blue of the police box, anachronistic in its presence on the primitive world, seemed oddly muted next to the brilliant silver of the Time Agency vessel. However, the Doctor's attentions were drawn not by the colours of fall or the consideration of anachronistic objects on the Sevateem homeworld but by the blaster levelled firmly at his chest. Sadly, this Agent knew him and his tricks. The spare sonic screwdriver might as well be lightyears away for all the good that it did him within his pocket.
"Do I need to keep my hands up or can I put them down now? I'm not going to try anything," the Doctor tried to reassure the Agent, but was only rewarded by the slight tightening of the man's hand on the trigger.
"I don't trust you," the Agent snarled, his expression wary.
"Don't trust me?" He put as much hurt as possible in his voice. "I'm harmless."
"You're forgetting, Doctor, that I know exactly what you're capable of."
"I seriously doubt that," the Time Lord muttered under his breath before giving the other man one of his brilliant manic grins. "So, what now? Time to sing campfire songs while we wait? I think I can remember most of the words to Kumbaya..."
"Shut it, Doctor."
"What's the fun in that? Really, you apes. Did you just forget to evolve a sense of humour?" He tisked.
"I said shut it!" The Agent was beginning to lose control of his temper.
The Time Lord shrugged, but backed down. Judging by the sweat on the other man's brow and the way he was holding the blaster, he was young, uncertain, and definitely trigger-happy. There was a time and a place for distractions, and he judged that at this moment it wasn't the time. He spared a worried thought for Rose, now hopefully far away from the clearing. At least she was still free and safe.
He decided to risk another question. "Mind if I have a banana?"
"What?" The Time Agent's brow furrowed in confusion.
"A banana. You know, good source of potassium? I'm sure I have one in my pocket. I might even have a spare if you'd like one."
"Are you a nutter?" the man asked, completely flabbergasted.
"Not in this lifetime." The Doctor grinned.
"No, you can't have a banana. Just keep your hands where I can see them, okay?"
"No need to be so touchy about it," he groused. Suddenly he brightened. "What if I ask for a Jelly Baby instead?"
"Would you just shut it!"
"Alright. Sorry..." The Time Lord stood in silence, his hands held in the air. His eyes wandered about the clearing, resting on the comforting shape of the TARDIS, drifting past the crouched form of Rose, to the silver shape of the Agency's...Rose? She hadn't left. On one hand, he was furious with her for taking the risk. On the other, his hearts sang with the knowledge that she was near. He firmly pushed down the fact that she was there, letting his gaze return to the Agent.
Judging the time was right and hoping that Rose would take the initiative to at least get inside the TARDIS, the Doctor began to whistle a jaunty tune. His captor's left eye began to twitch as he continued to make the noise and he fought the urge to grin in triumph. Really, it was far too easy to annoy some humans. With a twinkle in his eye, he launched into a rendition of 'Whistle While You Work.'
The Doctor was a complete nutter. Not that this was a new thought for her, but listening to his rather dodgy whistling only seemed to cement the idea in her mind. Rose knew what he was doing and she silently thanked him for it. She just sometimes wished that his idea of a distraction did not involve annoying a trigger-happy Time Agent. Suppressing a weary sigh, she searched the edge of the clearing for a weapon of some sort. Since hearing the brittle crack of a twig earlier, there had been no indication that the area was inhabited by any other than herself, the Doctor, and his captor.
A half formed idea of sneaking up behind the man and knocking him over the head with a branch flitted through her mind, but that was quickly discounted as the bushes on the opposite side of the clearing rustled and an unfamiliar dark haired man emerged from the forest. Maybe, if she could get into the TARDIS, there might be something she could do to save the Doctor and not have to worry about having two Time Agents to deal with. She fought the urge to snort. If wishes were horses...
"Maybourne! Where did you find this one?" The older Agent's tone was derisive as he seemed to dismiss the Time Lord as a threat. In the thick foliage of a fern, Rose tensed as she prepared to move while they were distracted.
"Just came running out of the woods," Maybourne replied. "He was heading for Harkness' ship."
"I was just out for a morning stroll before blaster happy there decided to stop me," the Doctor commented helpfully, though both Agents ignored him.
"Have you told Klein or Danninger of his capture?" the dark haired man asked, his eyes strangely intent upon the younger man. Rose broke from her cover to dart to the TARDIS, sliding the key into the lock before either of the armed men spotted her.
"No..."
"Good." In a blur of movement, he drew his blaster and shot the other Agent. Before his captive could do more than draw a breath to speak, the dark haired man continued. "Don't protest, Doctor. It really gets rather old."
"Who are you?" the Time Lord asked, knowing without having to check that Maybourne was dead.
"No one to concern you. Suffice it to say that there are some things that even the Time Agency should not be able to avail themselves of. The same is true of the last Time Lord." He grinned with just a hint of white teeth showing through his lips.
Rose caught his words just as she was about to slip inside the blue box, her eyes widening at the Agent's knowledge. Suddenly, the situation gained a new level of criticality. Her eyes hardening, she closed the door again and pulled her key from the lock. She was not going to let anything happen to the Doctor. Not when she could do something about it.
The Doctor fought not to react to the identification. "Certainly do dream big, don't you? A Time Lord? Me?"
"Lying does not become you," he scoffed.
"I never lie except for when I am."
"Very witty, Doctor. You will make a fine addition to my collection. You'll need that sense of humour where you're going." The man's grin grew menacing.
"I'm not going anywhere with you. You haven't even bought me a drink yet," he replied with narrowed eyes.
Rose tensed herself to run. While she had the bronze in gymnastics, she had never won any awards for tackling anyone. She had just had lots of practice on the playground of Powell Estates.
"Move," the man instructed, gesturing towards the Agency's ship with a sharp nod of his head.
Tucking in her shoulder, she charged. The impact of her body against his sent both tumbling to the ground but not before his finger tightened against the trigger, sending an energy blast towards his captive. The Doctor dodged, wincing as the bolt singed his jacket.
Rose landed on top of the Agent, her breath rushing out of her lungs. Before she could gather her wits, the man pushed up violently from the ground, causing her to roll off his back. He started to scramble to his feet, heedless of his surroundings beyond the Doctor and the woman who had tackled him.
Suddenly Andred burst into the clearing, followed closely by Leela, and levelled his weapon at the other man's head. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."
The dark haired man froze, relaxing his grip slightly on his weapon.
"Throw away the weapon," Andred instructed and the downed Agent obliged, tossing the blaster towards the edge of the clearing.
"Into the TARDIS," the Doctor ordered, helping Rose to her feet.
The Time Lord, Rose, and Leela moved to the blue box, pausing only to let the Doctor slide his key into the lock and open the door. Andred walked backwards, keeping his staser trained on the Agent until he reached the edge of the time ship. Stepping inside, he closed the door, only then lowering his weapon.
"Hold onto something," the leather-clad man advised as he set coordinates on the console panel, alternating between flipping switches and turning dials. With a grinding moan, the TARDIS took flight.
For the brief hop, the Doctor merely leaned against the console and turned towards Andred and Leela. "That one seemed frighteningly well informed. He knew about the Matrix and that I was a Time Lord."
"And we let him live?" Leela asked incredulously from next to one of the columns. She held onto the strange object with all her strength. Her old friend had yet to learn how to pilot his ship smoothly.
"He won't be able to get his hands on the Matrix. And me? I'm hard to catch." He smiled disarmingly.
"Tell that to the Jagrafess, Van Statten, the Slitheen," Rose started ticking off names.
"I'm detainable." The Doctor shrugged. "But maintainable? That's something else entirely."
"Tell me about it." Rose sighed.
"I do not like that he lives, Doctor. I will take a group of warriors back to the clearing. He will not threaten you again." The Sevateem warrior's gaze was fierce as she boldly declared her intentions.
"He's probably long gone."
"It is a mistake that we left before taking care of this."
"Perhaps, but I'm sure it'll sort itself out." He checked the readouts on the console as the TARDIS shuddered to a stop.
"You may have changed your face, Doctor, but you are still infuriating." Leela sighed.
"I'll take that as a compliment." He flashed her a manic grin. "Next on the agenda - downloading the Matrix." Without bothering to wait for anyone else's reply, the Doctor stepped through the double doors and into the cave. The cavern that housed the artifact seemed to echo in its silence; with the temporal shields, even the sounds of battle could not penetrate the barrier.
In the eerie stillness of the cavern, the Doctor lifted the Matrix from it's housing. Its bluish glow cast strange shadows upon his face, making him appear more gaunt than usual. Carefully crossing the floor to the TARDIS, he eased past the others and into the ship.
Rose was struck by how comical the artifact seemed in the bright interior of the vessel. Where it had seemed more like a holy artifact in the cavern, her first impression of a flea market bargain only seemed to be confirmed by its apparent gaudiness.
The Time Lord carried the orb to the main console, setting it next to the monitor and connecting various cables to the artifact. He darted between controls, inputing instructions and turning dials before he came to a stop before a particularly ominous looking red hued button. "Here we go," he murmured as he depressed the button. The effect was immediate. The artifact flared to a brilliant blue before it seemed to fade, to Rose's untrained eyes the Matrix seemed to erode slowly into the console. "Now," the Doctor said once the sphere disappeared, "the Time Agency has no prize."
"Without the Matrix, will they leave?" Rose asked.
"Might do," he replied. "Depends on who's giving the orders. Klein..."
"Klein will not be a problem," Leela announced.
"Leela?"
"He knew too much and was too dangerous. He is no longer a problem," she summarised. From the look in the Sevateem woman's eyes, Rose realised that Klein was dead. She was not certain how she felt about that knowledge beyond numb.
The Doctor levelled a narrowed gaze at Leela, his blue eyes conveying his disapproval of her actions. For her part, Leela remained unaffected by his look. She had done as she had seen fit. If the he disapproved, it did not matter.
After a moment's silence, he spoke. "Well, if Klein's gone, let's see who's in charge." The Time Lord led the way out of the TARDIS and into the now empty cavern.
She felt the difference in the room as soon as she stepped into it. The faint tingle that had played upon her skin and the otherworldly quality of the cave were gone. She could hear shouts and screams from outside and she came to the realisation that the shields that had once protected the Matrix were gone. As they walked into the bright sunlight, Rose suppressed an involuntary shudder at the crossing.
Leela's expression grew worried as she regarded the fight below them, flashes of blaster fire lit up the woods and she did not know how her tribe fared. "Andred and I must return to the fight," she stated, turning towards her old friend. "Good luck, Doctor."
"You too." He nodded and he watched the two scramble down the hillside and into the forest.
"Which way?" Rose asked.
The Doctor seemed to consider the question for a moment before he replied. "That way." He pointed in the opposite direction from where Leela and Andred had travelled.
Shrugging slightly, she grabbed his hand and tugged him down the path he had chosen. "Right then. And, hopefully, while we're looking for who's in charge, we'll find Jack."
"One would hope." He nodded.
Chapter Thirty-two
Jack was closing on the Time Agent's position, blaster drawn, moving as silently as he could. He had watched the Sevateem warriors deploy, making not a sound above the faint noises the breeze made as it slipped through the forest. He felt graceless and unskilled in comparison, a mere amateur among professionals. Jack had found himself admiring these people; so adapted to their environment, even the Agency with all its technology and training would have a difficult time securing victory.
All the same, he was extremely relieved that he'd been able to convince his twin to stay in the village and head up the triage and medical effort. Emmy wouldn't have shied from the combat, but she wasn't trained for it either. She would have been a distraction, pulling his attention away from where it was needed. And while the Sevateem were more than capable of dealing with the threats offered by their forests and the wounds their weapons delivered, they knew almost nothing of the weapons the Agents carried or of treating blaster burns. Even Emily's limited first-aid training would be a great asset as the tribe treated their warriors and the injuries of their enemies.
Currently, Jack was using a largish tree for cover, its bark rough through his shirt as he pressed himself into it. He was waiting for his chance to move forward again, watchful for a clear shot at his prey.
A flash of motion caught his attention and Jack briefly glimpsed one of the Sevateem, his movements sure and quick, his passage through the undergrowth soundless. The Agent Jack had been stalking also saw the warrior and leaned forward slightly to take aim at the tribesman, completely unaware of the danger approaching from his flank. Jack held his breath and levelled his blaster. This was it, the chance he had been waiting for. Focused on his target, the Agent committed an elementary blunder and extended himself too far, breaking his cover. Jack was ready. His finger moved on the trigger and the weapon emitted a low whine. The uniformed man's body slumped to the litter of sodden leaves that covered the forest floor.
At the sound of Jack's blaster and the subsequent muffled thump of the Agent hitting the wet ground, the Sevateem dropped to a crouch, his sharp, dark eyes intently scanning the vicinity. Seeing the incapacitated Time Agent, the warrior nodded his thanks to Jack before disappearing into the wood once again.
Moving closer, Jack regarded the slack features of the Time Agent he'd just shot. He swore the kid couldn't be any older than Rose. 'God, was I ever that young?' he thought. More than ever, he was thankful his weapon was not set to deliver a lethal blast and that the young Agent would live to hopefully learn that the organization he worked for was not all it seemed.
He was reminded of his own induction into the Time Agency. Fresh-faced and naive, Jack had been convinced that they were doing good, protecting the timelines. These kids probably still thought that. Thought that their efforts, their deaths, were necessary to hold back the Reapers, that this reality would be wiped from time if they succeeded in their purpose. They didn't know, didn't have any idea that their actions here would be recorded by history, not eliminated from it.
He could imagine the briefing, what these children had been told; he'd attended enough of them. They'd have been pumped full of lies about how this was vital to the safety and the integrity of space-time. Jack wondered how many missions during his service with the Agency he'd been sent on that had nothing to do with protecting the fabric of reality and everything to do with increasing the Time Agency's power and influence.
He remembered perfectly the day he'd graduated from the Time Agency Academy. His mother had actually cried tears of joy when she'd seen him the uniform. 'Sorry, Mom,' he mentally apologised, not for the first time, 'they conned us good.' If only he'd known then what he knew when he quit - what he knew now.
Shaking himself out of his meditation, he quietly slipped back under cover to await another quarry. It wasn't long before he was drawing a bead on his next target, an equally inexperienced youth. He knew he had to wait until the Agent came a little closer. There was only charge enough left in the blaster's power pack for one shot. It had to count.
Step by step, the young Time Agent edged forward, nearing Jack's position. One more yard. Two. Jack fired, the blast hitting the surprised man squarely in the chest and knocking him backwards.
Jack double checked the charge level and flung away the now useless blaster, its battery depleted. He moved forward to take the weapon from the fallen youth. Before he could reach the body, the snap of a twig behind him halted him. Spinning around, he found himself facing Danninger.
"Nicely executed, Captain Harkness, but it seems I have found you at a disadvantage." The blond man's tone was conversational, his blaster drawn but not aimed.
"So it seems," Jack replied dryly and fixed the man with a glare. Inwardly he cursed himself for being caught out like this. He knew the weapon in Danninger's hand was set to full power; it would deliver a killing blast. The Sevateem had been using non-lethal force when possible. It was a courtesy the Time Agency did not return.
"Such a pity to destroy one so promising. You had the potential to be great. Unfortunate that Director Klein so badly mishandled you so long ago."
Jack's glare hardened. "When you decided to target my sister."
Behind Danninger, the warrior that he had protected earlier ghosted into view from the forest underbrush. His knife was drawn as he silently approached Jack's captor.
"Your loyalties were, and still are, misplaced. It was never our intention that Dr. Harkness come to any harm," Danninger replied mildly, unaware of his danger.
"We both know she never would have cooperated with your plans." His tone was low and threatening, but Jack's main intention was to keep the other man talking until the warrior was in a position to attack. "You would have had to hurt her to get what you wanted."
"Regretfully, you are probably correct. She is as misguided as her brother." He took aim with his blaster, ready to fire. Jack simply regarded him with stony silence. Danninger raised an eyebrow. "Nothing left to say? Where is the infamous Harkness wit I've heard so much about?"
"Must have left it in my other jacket," Jack answered sarcastically.
Danninger's lips curved into a sardonic smile. "Ah, there it is."
The Sevateem moved to strike. Jack wasn't sure how he had sensed the warrior's imminent attack, but at the last moment, Danninger dodged away from the immobilising blow. Instead, the hit landed wide and glanced off of his shoulder, sending his blaster spinning away.
In the brief confusion, Jack returned to his original objective and dove for the weapon beside the young Time Agent's body.
Without turning, Danninger drew the knife from the sheath at his waist and drove the blade backward into the Sevateem's chest. The warrior screamed in agony and fell, writhing to the ground. Immediately disregarding the injured man, he dropped to retrieve his blaster.
"Danninger!" He froze immediately, his eyes widening for a moment. His hand hovered mere inches from his gun.
"It seems you have me at a disadvantage now, Captain Harkness." Danninger's voice was unconcerned as he slowly straightened, his hand drifting away from the blaster.
"So it would seem," Jack repeated his earlier words, the weapon in his hand unwavering.
"I will not be stopped in my pursuit of the artifact," Danninger announced. "This leaves you with two choices: to shoot me or not. Simple, isn't it? To kill or not to kill. Ultimately, you might be saving thousands of lives by pulling that trigger. You might even save your sister.
"But, can you do that, Captain? Can you make the hard decision, look me in the eye, and kill me?" His lips stretched into an baleful smile as he read something in Jack's eyes. "I didn't think so," he said dismissively. "Again, pity. Such talent wasted."
The dying Sevateem at Danninger's feet let out a final rattling gasp and lay still.
Sudden darkness welled in Jack, his finger tightening on the trigger. He would end this man's life. Danninger would never again threaten the people Jack loved or anyone for that matter. He would do this for Emmy, for what he'd done to the Doctor and to Rose, for the nameless Sevateem he'd seen die today.
"Jack, no." The Doctor's calm voice behind him cut through the murderous fog that had enveloped him. The blaster trembled slightly in Jack's grip, his finger still firm on the trigger. "Jack." The Doctor laid a hand on his shoulder, anchoring him and bringing him back from the black edge. "There's nothing left for them here. It's over." Jack relaxed marginally, but he still held Danninger squarely within the weapon's sights.
The Doctor's statement elicited a fleeting bemused expression from the Time Agent. "Go on, check," the Doctor told him.
Danninger moved slowly and deliberately, well aware of the captain's continued vigilance. He keyed a command into his wristcomputer and scanned the area. His brow creased in incredulity when the tiny device reported that the previously powerful temporal signal had disappeared completely. "The artifact is gone? You would destroy something so powerful?" He realised he had made a grave miscalculation dealing with these people. His assumption had been that their aim was to protect the object; Danninger never believed they would take this action when pressed.
"To keep it from people like you, every time." The Doctor didn't bother to correct the Time Agent, allowing him to believe what he wanted. The belief that the Matrix had been destroyed would serve quite well. "So unless I miss my guess, it time for you lot to leave. So long." He waved and grinned flippantly. "Can't say we've enjoyed the visit."
"Well played, gentlemen." Danninger drew himself to attention and favoured them with a respectful salute. "I concede this match to truly worthy adversaries. Perhaps we shall meet on another battlefield."
Jack let out a scornful bark of a laugh. "Yeah, pretty sure we don't share the same hope there. Get your army out of here, Danninger."
In response, the man nodded tightly and keyed his throat mic. "All units, cease hostilities and stand down. Evac protocol Bravo-two." Within a few seconds, the sounds of blaster fire died completely and the wood was quiet once more.
"He's ordered a surrender," Jack told the Doctor. "Those that can will withdraw; the ones that can't will give themselves up."
"I trust I have not made a mistake in my order, Captain Harkness. That my men will be treated honourably."
"It may be more than the Agency deserves after this stunt, but they'll be treated all right by the Sevateem," Jack promised.
Danninger nodded once. "Then I am your 'guest' until you see fit to release me."
Unnoticed during the confrontation, Rose now stepped forward. "It's over?"
The Doctor turned to regard her with fathomless eyes, before nodding. "For now."
Chapter Thirty-three
Upon their return to the village, Jack gratefully relinquished custody of Danninger to Leela and disappeared to find his sister.
Moments later, two Sevateem appeared carrying Klein's body between them. As he watched, a look of disdain crossed Danninger's face.
Leela stood behind him. "That is the fate of fools." Her voice was flat and held no hostility, but Danninger understood the implied threat.
"I assure you, madam, Klein's impetuousness is not a fault I share."
She regarded Danninger. Though his countenance had become stoic, she noted a measure of relief written in his eyes when he saw how the Sevateem were handling his defeated troops. "Your warriors fought bravely. They are being treated well," she told him.
He nodded, satisfied that the wounded had been cared for and proper respect given to the dead. And though the able-bodied Time Agents were approached with a certain amount of wariness, the men guarding them showed no signs of vengefulness or malice. "I thank you for that and for the compliment," Danninger said sincerely.
It was mid-afternoon before the Time Agents had been returned to the clearing and their ship. The Doctor and Jack monitored from the TARDIS as the vessel finally broke temporal orbit and entered the vortex.
"That's the end of it." Jack slumped into the chair near the console. Relief was evident in his voice. "Emmy is safe."
"Yup. Here's hoping the Time Agency is just a bad memory from hereon out." The Doctor regarded his companion for a moment. "Jack, I really didn't mean for this to happen. Never meant to hurt you or put your sister at risk. I wanted to help."
"I know. I'm sorry too. I jumped to conclusions back on Verata. You know you were forgiven 'bout an hour after the whole mess."
"Glad to hear it."
Jack looked across the control console at the Doctor. "Thank you for stopping me back there. Stopping me from killing Danninger."
The Doctor shrugged. "It's not who you are," he said as he switched off the monitor.
"But it could have been. Even Danninger thought so."
"Nope, he's wrong. What did you do when you discovered the Agency's true colours?" The Doctor fixed him with a serious look, but did not pause for an answer before continuing. "You got out. Hid Emily and refused to do their dirty work. Never mind the danger you put yourself in."
"I should have done more," Jack protested.
His look turned mildly reproachful. "Think about that. What could you do alone against them? You did what you could. 1941. You had the chance to cut your losses and run. You didn't though. You came back and helped me and Rose."
A little smile was forming as Jack replied. "Well, I couldn't let such a beautiful pair go out like that, could I?"
The Doctor just smirked at the flirtation. "And what about Sycorax 11? And Firian Colony?"
Jack's smile spread into a grin. He held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, I get it. I'm a big damn hero."
The Doctor's grin matched his companion's. "Exactly. One of the good guys." He let the grin drop and his tone became one of warning, but the effect was marred by the mischievous gleam in his eyes. "Don't let it go to your head. I'll have to sic Rose onto you. Or better yet, your sister."
"You wouldn't," Jack cried in mock horror.
"I would, so don't tempt me." The grin was back. "Now, I suspect there might be a celebration in the works. Maybe some dancing, quite probably some drinking as well. That sound at all interesting to you, Captain?"
"It might," he said brightly as the Doctor activated the door control.
The flames of the bonfire leapt towards the sky. The deep beat of drums was punctuated by the scattering of bright sparks from the fire, illuminating the dancing bodies of the Sevateem tribe. Their forms cast long shadows as they moved, bathing the camp in alternating brightness and darkness. In the flickering light, the Doctor watched from the sidelines.
Rose laughed as she missed a step, stumbling slightly against Jack as they moved around the fire. The two had decided to join in the party, dancing and generally enjoying themselves as the tribesmen celebrated their victory and the lives of their fallen brethren. However, with each step either Rose or Jack would shoot concerned glances at the Time Lord. He held himself apart from them and apart from the tribe and his companions felt that distance keenly. Before the war, Rose had thought that she had managed to reach him. Had she imagined it? Had she allowed her own hopes and desires to overshadow how the Doctor felt? Had it all been a fond dream?
She brushed away a tear, ignoring Jack's concerned glance. Sparing the former Time Agent a weak smile, she continued to dance. In the movement of her feet, the beat of her heart, and the thrum of blood in her ears, she could allow her imagination free reign. In her mind, they all danced. In her mind, Rose Tyler found happiness.
The Doctor's every dream, every hope, every desire cascaded through his mind in blissful degrees with every flash of Jack's grin and the catch of the firelight in Rose's golden hair. Control was slowly eroding away, yet he resisted the temptation to give in, to - just this once - let his emotions - no, he corrected himself - his hearts guide him to what he wanted. They, who knew so little of their power over him, continued to dance about the fire in celebration of their victory, each snippet of their laughter sending shivers down his spine.
The Doctor stood, in company, yet alone amongst the swirl of turbulent emotions that threaded through his mind in a vortex of power that he was uncertain he could contain. Once, long ago, he had convinced himself that giving in to emotions was a mistake. It was a petty human failing to fall in love, to make love, to bind oneself to one person - or two - always. His love, he had resolutely decided, was for the universe. However, that could not explain why, when he examined his soul, he only found them. They were the best part of him, yet he still held himself apart. He still held a distance between them, a sense of decorum fitting a world that time had forgotten. How could he love when he was the last? How could he give into his own desires when there was nothing left?
His thoughts turned away from his hopes and dreams, dwelling instead upon the Sevateem. They were an honourable people, fierce in war, kind in peace, and he had watched them die for the sake of the memory of Gallifrey. The Matrix was safe, encased within the TARDIS, but so much blood had been shed in its protection. It was another notch against him - the universe had gained another point in its ongoing war against him. Universe - One thousand. Doctor - Ten. The Time Lord drew back from the welcoming light of the fire, his form hidden amongst the shadows. How could he desire happiness when all he brought was hurt?
Emily watched the Doctor as he pulled further away from the company of the Sevateem. She just wanted to smack him. Why were men idiots? She was, of course, including her brother in that count. If they wanted something, just go for it. Stop waffling. It was enough to drive her to drink. She took another swig of the strong Sevateem liquor, emptying the container, and sighed noisily.
Leela sat down next to her, folding her legs beneath herself in a rather uncomfortable looking position. As soon as her friend was settled, the anthropologist spoke. "Alright, what's up with the Doctor?"
"I am not certain I understand."
"One minute he's cuddling with Jack and Rose, the next its like he can't get far enough away from them. I know Jack and Rose both love him, but he's being so...mercurial." She wanted to throw up her hands and scream for the idiocy of it all.
The Sevateem woman shrugged. "The Doctor is in love. However, I have never been able to understand him. He has a different view of the world from you or I."
"He's in love," the anthropologist repeated. "Why does he have to be such a..." she searched for a word, "a complete idiot about it? He's hurting my little brother and Rose by not doing anything. I just don't know what to do." 'Beside kill him,' she thought to herself.
"His world is gone, Emily. He is the last Time Lord. And as the last, he has let his memories of Gallifrey become more important than his own happiness," Leela explained. Unnoticed by either, the Doctor moved away from the campsite, disappearing into the night.
She did throw up her hands. Sure, as a scientist, she knew that cultural influences were important. But, as a sister, she did not give a damn. "So what? I don't mean to be so callous - alright I do, but he's got to realise that he could lose them if he keeps this up."
"I think he does, and that frightens him," she replied quietly.
"So, what can we do?"
"'We' can do nothing. I will talk to him. Emily, even the strongest warrior has a weakness. You have found the Doctor's. The greatest of warriors learn to take that weakness and turn it into a strength."
"And if he can't?"
She responded in a firm tone of voice. "He will. I will see to it."
Leela found him sitting on the side of the hillock that had once housed the Matrix, staring into the distance with an unfathomable expression on his face. She suppressed a sigh at the sight, knowing that this time Emily was correct. He would do nothing, burdened as he was by both his memories and his own reluctance to violate the unspoken laws of his people. She shook her head sadly, sinking to the ground next to him.
"You, Doctor, are a fool," she said without preamble.
The Doctor started at the sound, not having noticed that he had company. The Sevateem woman's words sunk in slowly, and he turned toward her in askance. "What? Why?"
Her face reflected both concern and a faint anger which surprised him. "You love your companions, do you not?"
"Of course." The words were immediate, though beneath the surface they carried a universe full of meaning.
Leela smiled faintly and in her eyes he could easily see that he had been found out. "You are in love, yet you do nothing. Why?"
He dropped his eyes from hers, shading them from her view. Why did he ignore Rose and Jack's obvious desire to create a lasting relationship between them? Why did he hesitate? He was not quite sure that he knew anymore. "It's complicated," he finally answered.
"It does not have to be," she said reasonably. She knew him all too well, despite the five regenerations between them.
The Doctor sighed. "I'm the last Time Lord. Don't I owe them something?" He pictured Romana as he had seen her in the Matrix, her eyes narrowed in consternation as he considered violating the rules again. He suddenly realised that he had been violating the rules all along, ever since Rose had first come into his life. Other Time Lords had once accused him of needing to take on companions, specifically humans, as a means of reminding himself of how short life truly was. They called his friends his memento mori. They were wrong. They had to be. Since he had found Rose and Jack, he had come to realise just what they meant to him. They were not memento mori, they were memento vita. They were life. Yet, he still hesitated.
"You owe them to live. That is all. Yet you insist on living a half life, without them," Leela said sadly, shaking her head. She reached into her satchel, pulling out the sonic screwdriver that she had taken from Klein's dead body. Regarding the object with a mournful look, she handed it to him. "I do not understand you, Doctor."
He offered her a shadow of a smile as he accepted the device, slipping it into his pocket with a nod of thanks. "I'm perplexing, me."
"No," she corrected, "you are difficult. And stubborn. The High Council of Time Lords is gone, Doctor. There is no one to protest, nor do I think Romana would ever object to your happiness. What you feel, that is life. Why deny yourself that?"
Memento vita. Memento mori. The phrases danced in his head and he closed his eyes tightly as he considered their import. He had lived with the shadow of the Time Lords for too long. He loved Rose. He loved Jack. He was in love with them both. The memory of what he had seen in the Matrix, one of a dozen possible futures, flashed before his eyes. He could have them. He could have more, only if he could take the first step. The Doctor opened his eyes, meeting Leela's gaze. "Damn the 'we don't do this.'"
"Doctor?" Leela asked, not knowing the importance of that particular phrase in the lives of the Doctor, Rose, and Jack.
"When did you get to be so wise, Leela?" he asked and she suddenly realised that he had reached the decision to live.
There was only one answer to that question. "When I met you."