I'm Sorry
Holly and Wesley were sat watching an old movie when suddenly the phone interrupted the peaceful silence.
'I'll get it.', Holly said, walking over to the phone and picking it up while in the mean time keeping an eye on the television.
'Yes, that's us. Uh-uh. '.
Wesley glanced up at his girlfriend, suspecting it to be her sister on the phone, or Cordelia. Those two had become friends since the first time they went shopping together.
'Yes, I understand.. Thank you.', he heard Holly say before she put down the phone again and walked over to him.
'Wesley?', she said in a soft voice. The kind of voice that told him something was up, yet he didn't know what it was.
'Yes?'.
'That was the hospital on the phone.. Your father had a heart attack..'. Holly wasn't sure what Wesley's reaction would be. Would he be sad, or happy, or relieved? Apparently, neither of them. He had a blank expression on his face.. as if he didn't care. But Holly knew better..
'O.. I'm sorry to hear that. Has he survived?'.
'He's still alive, but the doctor told me that it probably won't be for long. It may be a matter of hours, or days, possibly.', she told him hesitantly.
Wesley didn't say anything for quite a while, and Holly just stood there, with her hand on his shoulder, unsure what to do next.
'It's late.. Let's go to bed, shall we? ', Wesley proposed when the clock had turned seconds into hours. Holly nodded, taking the hint that he didn't want to talk about it for now..
The next day, when the children were off to school, and Wesley was at his work at the Hyperion Hotel, Holly drove off to the hospital. She remembered being here 3 years ago when Stephen, then her husband, had died of a car crash. She remembered sitting in the waiting room for hours until they finally informed her that he wouldn't survive his injuries. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes again when she thought of that, and quickly shrugged those thoughts off. That was history now. She informed at the reception in which room Mr. Wyndham-Pryce was, and headed over there, getting permission to see him for a few minutes, since he didn't have any other visitors and she was his daughter-in-law.
She found him asleep so sat down in a chair by his bed, and decided to wait until he woke up. As if he felt his presence, Roger opened his eyes after only seconds.
'Hello..', Holly said. 'Do you.. remember me?'. He probably did, she'd met him last Christmas when she strangely had the idea that it could be nice to invite everyone over to her place. It wasn't.
'Holly..', Roger nodded. He had trouble speaking and was obviously in pain.
Holly nodded. 'Yes.. I'm sorry about what happened to you.'.
'I'm dying. '.
'I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about that..'.
'I deserve to go to hell'.
Apparently, he did see what he did to Wesley, and, it was hard to say, but maybe he regretted it now. It was a common thing after all that people suddenly realised their sins before they died. Maybe that was the case here too.
'I don't really believe in such a thing as hell, Mr. Pryce.', Holy said softly. 'The only hell I believe in is the hell on earth we create ourselves.', she continued.
'Why are you here anyway?', Roger wondered. 'To watch me suffer?'.
'No. I'm here for Wesley. And for you. It's not too late yet. '.
He tried to laugh. ' So, you think only because I'm dying Wesley's going to forgive me? A happy ending? I don't think so, Holly. No happy ending for me.'.
'No. You don't deserve one either. But maybe you could tell him you're sorry.'.
'Sorry.. like that would solve everything. It won't undo what I did to him.'.
'It won't. What's done cannot be undone, I know that. But maybe it would create some .. peace. It may end this vicious circle you're both in. ', Holly suggested. She knew very well how he had mentally and physically abused Wesley during his childhood, and she felt no pity for the guy, but she did feel pity for Wesley if it would end like this. If he would die now, then it won't be over. Then he would still keep haunting Wesley in his dreams, and then he would still live in the shadow of the past.
'Would you like to speak to your son, Mr. Pryce?'.
Eventually, he nodded. 'Yes.. yes, I'd like that.'.
Holly nodded and watched him for a few minutes, then walked out of the door, resisting the urge to allow the guilt because of doing this behind Wesley's back, but if she didn't do this, no one would.
That night, when both Wesley and Holly were laying in bed and were half asleep already, she rolled on her side to look at him.
'Wesley? I did something you probably won't really be happy about...'.
He looked up at her with a slight frown. 'What did you do?'.
'Promise that you won't get mad.'.
The frown deepened. 'You know I could never get mad at you.'.
Holly smiled, and ran a hand through his hair. 'I went to visit your father.'.
Wesley swallowed. 'What?... Why?'.
'For you. He would like to talk to you.. Before he dies.'.
'Holly... I don't think...'.
'I knew you'd say that, and that's exactly why I went to see him. He's sorry, Wesley. He wants to die in peace.. and then we can maybe all let it go, finally. Go talk to him tomorrow. For me..?'.
Wesley sighed and put an arm around her. 'For you.'.
The following day Wesley entered the hospital. Holly went with him, just in case. She led him to his father's room, and stood still.
'I'll wait here.. so if you need anything..'.
Wesley nodded, he knew he had to do this alone. He felt his heart race in his throat, as if he was still that 7 year old boy about to get a thrashing. Would it ever change, he wondered. Maybe not, but it was worth trying.
'Father..', he said, sitting down in the chair next to the bed, the same chair Holly had sat on the day before.
'Wesley.'.
There was a long silence. Too long.
'I heard Holly visited you yesterday.'.
His father nodded. 'Holly..', he repeated. 'She's a good one. Knows what to say. '.
'Yes.. she's very smart.', Wesley agreed. He tried to tell himself to stop being scared. He was a grown man now.
Another long silence. Seconds passed, not a word was said, not a sound was made.
Would it ever change?
'You're dying..', Wesley eventually interrupted the silence. 'I'm sorry about that.'.
'No you're not.
'I'm not.', he admitted.
'I'm not the type to apologise, Wesley.', Roger said. 'It only makes things unnecessary hard and it won't solve anything.'.
Wesley nodded. 'I agree.'.
'She told me to say sorry. ', Roger coughed loudly. 'Holly'.
'Oh..'. Wesley really had no idea what to say. He'd been here for a few minutes now and still his father hadn't said anything to put him down yet. That was new.
'You don't have to say anything you don't mean, father.'.
'Well.. I do mean it.'.
The first positive thing Wesley 'ever' heard from his father.
'I'm sorry', the man who had only become an actual father the moment he died repeated.