"Hey, I thought we went through this before?"
Excuse me?
"Not that long ago, not that far away - you know."
Oh, right, of course. Hey! I'm the narrator - you're not supposed to be correcting me!
"Sorry."
Better. Ahem. As I was saying... Not so long ago in a kingdom not that far away, there lived a rich and kind old man called Jacob Carter.
"Hi."
Hello. Now Jacob's wife died not many years after they were married and poor Jacob was left with nothing to remember her by but an abnormally large amount of money and their new-born baby daughter, Sam.
"Sniffle."
Quite. Anyway though Jacob had loved his wife dearly he soon realised that not even with the abnormally large inheritance could he provide the mother that Sam needed. Reluctantly, he consented to marry Anise, a woman who had recently been widowed herself and left with two children of her own.
"Widowed? Are you kidding? Everyone and his dog knows she murdered him!"
That is purely conjecture. And besides, shouldn't you have thought of that before you married her?
Anyway, a week after Sam's 10th birthday Jacob came down with a terrible and life-threatening illness.
"I have a bad feeling about this."
So you should. Two weeks later, he died.
"Now that's just unfair!"
Excuse me? You're dead, you can't complain.
"Erk."
Better. Now that Jacob was out of the way, Anise seized the opportunity to bring her tyrannical reign into the household. She forced poor Sam to do all the housework, and even insisted on calling her 'CinderSam' despite the fact that it didn't sound right at all.
"It sounds fine! I am all powerful and I can say what sounds fine and what doesn't."
Of course you can dear. Anyway, as well as oppressing poor Sam-
"Ahem."
OK then! As well as oppressing poor CinderSam, Anise spent all of poor dead Jacob's inherited fortune on her two children, Daniella and Teal'cella.
"I am afraid that I must enquire as to why I have such a ridiculous name, narrator."
It's not ridiculous! Ask Anise - she's a self-proclaimed expert on the subject!
"Anise, is my name not ridiculous?"
"Not at all, Teal'celaa! I think your name is divine, like all the names I give my children!"
Face it Teal'cella, you were on to a loser from the start there with her naming you.
"I agree."
So, back to the story. The evil Anise forced CinderSam to become a servant to her and her two children. She was made to do jobs such as cleaning, washing and cooking and she never got to have any fun.
"You're not kidding."
No, I'm not. Anyway, this went on for many years and the only thing that kept poor CinderSam going was the dream that one day she would meet Prince Charming and they'd ride off into the sunset together.
"Prince Charming? Isn't that kind of a stupid name for a prince? I mean, people would ask him who he was and he'd say 'Charming' and they'd think 'well, isn't he a conceited little b-"
Excuse me! This is a PG-rated story, thank you very much! No bad language about your fellow characters please!
"Well I'm sorry, but they would."
And haven't you learnt yet not to ask about character names? So she spent her days daydreaming about a prince who wasn't called 'Charming' but had a sensible name. Better?
"Much."
I'm so glad.