Chapter 5 - Someone to Listen

Though they were both terrible ice skaters, George was slightly worse. Meredith actually managed to stay on her feet, though she took small childish strides. They held hands as they made their way around the rink. They got better by the end, and weren't the worst skaters there, but as they laughed and skated toward the exit, George slipped and fell again, this time taking Meredith with him. She fell on top of him, her right hand reaching out to the ice to slow her fall. She cried out, and George's laughter was immediately quelled. They sat up, and Meredith's legs were across George's lap, but she didn't care. She pulled her glove off, but her bandage looked clean.

"Dammit that hurt." She cursed, and George helped her back to her feet. Though as always, Meredith seemed oblivious to their proximity, George couldn't help but feel a little excited at the way she felt in his arms. But George had learned long ago to mask his feelings well, and they returned their skates and drove home. As soon as they walked in the door, they made their way to the living room. Izzie shouted something to them from the kitchen. She was in the kitchen having a snack before going to bed. They could hear her rummaging through cupboards.

George clicked the television on.

"I talked to Addison today." Meredith said nonchalantly after a moment of looking at the television screen, but not really watching.

"Really, about what?"

"Yeah, it was weird. She just told me about a case she had."

George just pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and threw it over them, propping his feet up on the coffee table.

"I talked to Derek, too." Meredith's voice was low.

"Really." George was not interested to hear this.

"Yeah." was all she said.

Still not over him, George thought. Meredith leaned her head onto his shoulder, but George jumped up. Mumbling something about being tired, he started toward the stairs.

She followed him up the stairs, suspicious. He pulled off his jacket and shoes before turning around to see her leaning against the doorway, an expectant look on her face.

"Just so we're clear, I still don't believe you." She stated so matter of factly.

"What?" He asked, even though the dread growing in his stomach told him exactly what she was talking about.

"That nothing's wrong. That you're not mad at me."

Her blue eyes held too much knowledge for comfort, and George was terrified to think he'd been stupid enough to think she wouldn't figure it out. She was Meredith Grey, intelligent and witty and perfect. How could she not know?

"My God, Meredith, why are you doing this to me?" George burst into unexpected anger. He was more frustrated, really.

"Doing what?" She threw her hands in the air. Maybe he was picking a fight, looking for someone to lash out at. Maybe they both were. And as everyone knows, you hurt those close to you first.

"Torturing me like this! You're still in love with Derek, but you … you lay your head on my shoulder and you smile at me and you just are you! Beautiful and funny and flawed…and…just so you."

She stared at him for a moment, her jaw almost agape. Of course she'd known. A woman just knows things like that. That was why it felt so good to be with him, why she sought him out to comfort her. She felt how much he loved her, and all Meredith wanted was to be loved.

"George, I-"

"I know, you don't see me like that. I'm one of the girls, right? It takes a married hotshot spinal surgeon from GQ to get your attention!" He spat, his chest heaving. Had he ever been so resentful? Meredith had shrunk back into herself, eyes devoid of anything but betrayal. Her arms hung limply at her sides, and after a moment she set her lips together and gazed around the room. Anywhere but at him.

George immediately regretted his ill chosen words. He took a step toward her, saying, "Mer-" but she held a hand up, silencing him. Without a look or a sound, she left his doorway to sink into her own bed down the hall. Clothes discarded, too broken to put pajamas on, she just wrapped herself in her cotton bathrobe and snuggled deep into her comforter, pretending someone was there with her, holding her.

Before she could stop them, the tears sprung from her. They ran like hot water down her face onto her chest, making her hair stick to her neck. She tried not to scream and cry and yell, but only partially succeeded. Small moans of pity and pain escaped her as she tossed under her blankets.

George squeezed his eyes shut as he listened to her cry. He tried not thinking he was the reason for it. Don't be so vain, George, she doesn't care enough to cry over you. But when the painful sobs from the other room stopped, the silence was what drove him crazy. He had to do something.

She was staring wide eyed at the ceiling, at the lights passing cars threw over her room. No thoughts. There was a weight sinking on the side of her bed, and she turned to see George's outline. She turned over away from him, wishing he would go away.

George just put a hand on her shoulder. "Mer, let me see your hand."

"No." She said.

"Mer, I have to change the bandage." He said, very reasonably. "You know I do."

So, she sat up and gave her hand to him, watching her fingers pick at the comforter in her lap. George clicked on the lamp on her bedside table, and gently took her hand. Meredith tensed visibly, and squeezed her eyes shut. His hands ran softly along hers, and she hardly felt the sting of the disinfectant. When he released her, it was far too soon.

She cradled her hands in her lap. "Thanks." It was a whisper, a grumble, as if she was consorting with the enemy.

"Yeah, no problem." He said with a scoff and shook his head. After throwing away the old bandage, he stood with his back to her for a moment, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he leaned against the wall with his other hand. Meredith chanced a glance up at his back.

A sudden impulse seized her, and she climbed gently from her warm covers. George heard her weight leave the bed, but was either too caught up in his own thoughts to notice, or just too tired and fed up to care. That was why it startled him when he felt her arms wrap around his midsection. He looked down to see Meredith's hands running all over his chest, balling in his shirt, squeezing him tight. Her cheek was rested against his shoulder blade, and she could've fallen asleep resting against him. His body was warm and smelled vaguely of laundry soap and that cologne he wore. She wondered why she hadn't noticed until now how the smell of it made her want to jump into his arms.

He took her hands and turned around in her arms, cupping her face gently. It took all the will power he had, and it left him weak, just restraining himself from leaning in to kiss her lips. When, despite himself, the distance between them began to lessen, he leaned his forehead against hers, clenching his eyes and swallowing hard, desperate to even his heavy breathing.

"I'm sorry, Meredith." George somehow managed to squeak out. She pulled back to look into his eyes.

"For what?" She smiled a small little smile that made his brow stitch together painfully.

"For everything. For Shepherd and for yelling at you and for loving you and…" He trailed off, letting his hands slide from gently holding her face to his sides. Meredith quickly took his hands and brought them back up to her lips.

"It's okay! It's okay, George, it's not your fault. I just need you, okay? Please, just touch me." Her eyes plead with him, begged for him, and George felt all his self control give way. He pulled her to him, kissed her, held her lips to his with a hand on the back of her neck, the other holding her body flush against his by the small of her back. Meredith wrapped her arms around him, kissed him back feverishly, opening her mouth against his.

The shock of their first kiss gave way to something even more intense. That bridge had been crossed. Now there was nothing to hold them back. Meredith pulled him to the bed, shed her robe which left her in bra and panties, and pulled him over her. George was numbed, he moved only on instinct and desire. There was not a thought in his mind but those of her, not a concern in the world but for her.

Her greedy hands peeled his shirt over his head, and pulled him to her, desperate to feel him against her again. When he kissed her again, he felt dampness on her cheeks. Curiously, he pulled back to see tears on her face.

"Mer?" He whispered, the frenzy of passion immediately dissolved. Wiping the tears from her face with his fingertips, George kissed her forehead and her cheeks. She looked away from him, but he took her chin gently, and didn't have to pull her, really. She looked back at him. "Oh, Mer, I'm so sorry." He apologized. For what, he couldn't say. For losing himself and taking advantage of her, maybe. To his surprise, she laughed.

"No, don't say that. You see what happens when you say that to me."

He fell onto his side beside her, and she followed, snuggling close to his chest, kissing the hollow of his neck. For a while they just lie there, unsure of what to say. Their friendship was surely ruined, and she was clearly not ready for a relationship. What to do?

"I'm still getting over him, George. I just have to accept that it's really over. It seems hard to believe something so good could really be gone from my life forever."

The words plunged hot knives into his gut and he physically winced.

"I know you don't want to hear this because, well, you love me and all, but I need to tell someone. And, since you love me and all, I figured you're the best one to talk to."

He kissed the top of her head, tangling his legs with hers, in which she so perfectly fit.

"It's just so hard, you know? To accept that he lied to me all that time he said he loved me. To be the mistress. To be second." George held her a little tighter. "And I think maybe that's why I sort of came to you for comfort. Because for you, I'm…"

"The only one?"

She looked up at him, apologetically.

"I hate myself for doing this to you." She buried her face in his chest again. George didn't reply for a while, just ran his fingertips down the length of her back.

"Don't beat yourself up, Meredith. I know you can't help how you are; it's what made me fall for you in the first place. And I know how hard it is to be alone, especially after your heart's been broken. I don't blame you for wanting some comfort, and although I know you don't want me…you do want me now, tonight. And I'll be content with that for a while." George dared a smile, if only to ease Meredith's pain. "But be well warned, the second you're through with this other guy, I'll be all over you like a fat kid on cake."

Meredith laughed, with a few small sobs mixed in, and he quickly quelled her tears with whispers, coos and kisses.

The sun had begun to rise before they knew, and they lay nose to nose, neither very tired, though they'd talked and kissed and held each other all night. Meredith leaned in once more to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"It's almost morning." She was almost sad. George closed his eyes.

"I know."

"Thank you for listening to me."

George smiled sadly, "What're friends for?"

"You're not my friend George." He almost died. "You'll never be the same to me again. But don't worry," she chuckled, "you're something different, now. Something more. Between a friend and a lover. It's not where you want to be, I'm sure, and I'm sure it's wrong on many different levels, but it's where I need you to be for a while."

"I'll be anywhere you want me to be." George whispered, adoration and devotion implied in his tone. Meredith smiled at him with tear filled eyes. How did she get so lucky?

"I know." She whispered back, leaning in to kiss him one last time before the sun broke the horizon.

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas anda Happy New Year! Thanks to everyone for taking the time to review! Just one more chapter, I'm sad to say, and this story will come to a close.

Love, Aleks