Disclaimer: These amazing characters are not owned by me. I'm making no money, so don't sue. Got it? Or, sue me and loose, so I can get a lot of money.
Aw man.......I'm listening to Evanescence's My Immortal, and now it has me thinking of Sirius and Remus (just like my songfic) and I'm going to start crying again. Wah....it makes me so sad!! Poor Remy........
Cassie, and what's this about Arthur/Lucius fics being 'ew, ew, ew'? Hm, maybe I should be more specific. How about, Arthur/Lucius when they're in school? That better? Should I remind you of some of the things you like?
Anyway, here's the next chapter. I have no idea how long this is going to be, so bear with me.
Losing the Charade
Sirius's POV
Lucius had managed to sneak out while I was talking to Remus. He seemed to be taking the news pretty well. I had worried he would say he hated my guts and wished I would burn in hell. Well, okay, maybe I was thinking a little too dramatically, but you never know. Remus had gone to bed early, and I decided not to bother him. When the other two came up after ten minutes wondered where Remus had disappeared off to, I told them he wasn't feeling well, and had stayed inside.
I went to bed that night feeling sick. What if James and Peter found out? They wouldn't take it as well as Remus had, that was for sure.
The next morning broke gray and dreary. I blinked stupidly as a feebly ray of sunlight flittered through the window near my bed and rubbed my eyes. My gaze settled on the pile of presents I had left near my night stand the other day. A bag of Zonko's stuff from James, candy from Peter, and a handy penknife from Remus that could undo any lock. Also, stuffed in my trunk so the others wouldn't come across it, a ring from Lucius, bearing a snake and a lion, intertwined. I liked it a lot, but wearing it around the others would have raised some suspicions.
I sort of lay in my bed until I heard the others getting up, and after getting dressed we all headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. James had noticed that Remus was being quieter than normal, and was pestering him with questions.
"Hey Remy, you okay?"
Remus just nodded.
"You sure?" James continued.
Remus nodded again.
"Oh, for heaven's sake, James, stop bothering him," I muttered when James looked like he was going to ask again.
The room was fairly empty when we got there; the students who had gone back to their houses for Christmas would be back later that day. We tromped over to the Gryffindor table and sat down, having a great selection of seats to pick from, since we were the only Gryffindor's there. I sat down across from Remus, who had begun to pile food on his plate with a blank face. I tried to catch his eye as I took toast from a plate and handed it to James, but Remus didn't look up.
I was halfway done with my eggs when a voice behind me spoke, shocking everyone in the hall.
"May I sit with you?"
I choked and turned in my seat slowly. Lucius was standing in-between the two tables, looking at me and ignoring the glowering looks directed to him from James. Peter looked in a state of shock. I glanced back quickly at Remus, but he was pretending not to notice.
"Erm," was I all I managed to say, but scooted down one seat so Lucius could sit at the end of the table. He sat down and started piling food onto his plate, without the merest look of interest at the scowls he was receiving.
"How's Lupin," he muttered to me without looking up from his plate.
"Better. But he seems distant now," I replied, barely moving my lips.
"I'm done. See you guys later," Remus announced in a whisper about a second later, setting down his fork and getting up. I flinched and Lucius stopped moving his knife across his plate.
"What? Hey, Remus," James called, but Remus didn't answer and just kept walking. James sat back down and stared at the two of us. "Okay, what in holy hell is going on?" Peter nodded, agreeing.
"Nothing," I muttered. I looked down at my plate, but suddenly, I didn't feel like eating anymore. Lucius seemed to have the same feeling, because he put down his silverware.
"And what about you?" James accused, pointing at Lucius.
"What about me?" Lucius replied cooly. I tried to look at anything that wasn't my friends. My gaze landed on the Slytherin table, where Snape was watching the four of us with guarded eyes. He looked straight at me, and I shuddered, turning back to the table.
"What're you doing at our table?"
"Only a Gryffindor could be so ignorant to believe that they own a table just for themselves. Ever heard of sharing?"
James's frown rounded on me. "Why is he here?"
I fidgeted in my seat. "Because he asked," I responded.
"That's not a good answer, Siri. What's going on?" James glared.
"Nothing, okay?!" I said, voice rising. "You know, what, we're going to go find Remus." I shot up quickly, grabbing Lucius by the wrist and forcibly dragging him through the doors to the Entrance Hall. I had a feeling that everyone in the hall was staring at us.
Lucius's POV
I followed Sirius through the corridors, actually not having much of a choice, since he had a death grip on my arm. After we arrived at the door to the library, I wrenched my arm free.
"Geez, what was that? You almost lost it," I muttered, rubbing my wrist. "And your grip really hurts."
"Sorry. I'll make it up later." That little twinkle that was usually in Sirius's eyes returned, if only for a brief second. I grinned.
"You better. So, are you going to talk to Lupin?"
Sirius nodded.
"I'll just go then." I turned to leave.
Sirius shook his head. "No, you come on too." He started tugging me into the library, and I followed a tad unwillingly. I knew how ex-boy/girlfriends could squabble, and I didn't like getting near people on the brink of an argument.
We found Remus sitting near a window, book in lap and staring out onto the grounds. He must have heard us coming, but didn't turn to look. Sirius walked over to him and slipped his arms around his shoulders. I felt a pang in my heart but didn't do anything.
"Remy....I know, I am so sorry. We really should have told you earlier, not have had you walk in at the most inconvenient time," Sirius whispered in his ear. Remus had set down the book but hadn't made any other moments.
"Look, Lupin," I said, before Sirius could continue. "I know you still like Sirius. I like him a lot too, but I don't think it's fair that he choose me when you were here first and he obviously still cares about you." Sirius looked like he was going to protest but I continued. "So, as of now, I suggest that we let you and Sirius back together for a while. Then see who he likes better. If it's you, then so be it. Good luck."
Sirius shot up to stop me but I was already out of the library and halfway down the hall. Sirius deserves better than me. If he still loves Lupin, then that was alright. I could find someone else. It's not like it's the end of the world.
I peered over my shoulder to check if anyone was following me, but the hall was empty. I headed down to the Slytherin common room, muttering the password sullenly to the portrait and slumping inside. The room was empty, the candles seemed unusually dim for so early in the morning. I lay down on a couch, ignoring the portrait that was reprimanding me for putting my shoes on the furniture.
I might have fallen asleep, I don't know, but the next I saw was Snape, peering down at me with a napkin in hand. I closed my eyes again, but he didn't seem to go away, so I looked up at him.
"What?"
"You missed lunch. I thought you might be hungry, because you didn't have a lot of breakfast," Snape answered, sliding my legs off the couch, forcing me to sit upright, so he could sit down next to me. " I brought you some sandwiches." He handed me the napkin.
"Thanks," I replied, taking out one of the sandwiches and biting into it. "Ergh, crap, this is roast beef."
"What, don't like roast beef?"
"Not in the least."
"Fine. There's also a turkey one in there, I think," he said, taking the other one from my hand and starting to eat it.
"Didn't you have lunch?" I asked, eating the turkey sandwich.
"Yeah."
"Jesus, how do you stay so skinny?"
He shrugged. "I have no idea."
"So, that's what you woke me up for? Food?"
"What, you wanted me to go report to the headmaster that you died from lack of nutrition? Not just yet."
I sighed and leaned back on the couch, remembering the reason I hadn't had much breakfast. Remus and Sirius. Of course. Sirius had no room in his heart for me.
"Are you okay?" Severus's voice snapped me out of my reverie.
"Huh?"
"Are you okay," he repeated. I gave him a blank look.
"Geez, for someone so smart, you'd think you'd have the comprehension to understand you're being asked a question. What's up? You look weird. —Er than normal."
"That's nice," I mumbled. "Let's just go insult the mopey one."
"Sorry. Didn't mean anything by it."
"Yeah, it's okay............" We sat there in silence for a moment. Then I said, "I think we broke up."
"What?"
"Me and Sirius. He still likes Lupin. I told him to give their thing another chance. I think I broke up with him."
"Oh." Severus looked at me. "Really?" I nodded. "Well, that's too bad......Was Black okay with it?"
"Don't know. I left before I could see his reaction," I replied. I stared at my half-eaten sandwich. Why did I care so much about him? I'd never loved anyone like him before. Why him?
"So, so you're single again?" Severus asked.
"I suppose," I muttered, eyes still downcast. That was probably why I didn't see Severus lean forward toward me until his lips were pressed against mine.
Sirius's POV
We were sitting in the corner of the library still, me leaning on the windowsill, Remus leaning on me. It felt quite comforting to have him so close again, to smell the scent of his cinnamon colored hair, and to feel the warmth of his body pressed against mine. I sighed and let my head fall back, making a clunking noise as it tapped the window. Remus seemed to notice my discomfort and looked up at me.
"Would you rather go find Malfoy?" he asked, chocolate colored eyes full of obvious worry. "I'm sure you miss him."
"No, not yet," I muttered. "Maybe, maybe he was right. That we were never meant to be. That I should have stayed with you. It's just, so confusing." I paused, staring out the window at the path were the students spending the holidays with their parents would be trudging up soon. "I, really like Lucius, I know that. But I can't let you go, Remy." Slowly, I reached over and took Remus's hand. He almost jumped at the movement, but didn't protest.
"Why not?" he inquired quietly. I noticed his eyes seemed to droop every now and then; he must not have had a good night's sleep. Probably thinking about me and Lucius, I thought sullenly.
"Because................." Another pause. "I think I love you, Remy."
Remus's grip on my hand tightened. "And what about.......you know.....?"
"Lucius is pretty popular, he can get himself a new boyfriend whenever he wants," I mumbled. "But there's something about you, something that I feel every time I'm around you, and only you. Not the others. Not Lucius. You. And I want you to feel the same."
"I do, Sirius," Remus answered, eyes now awake and alert, peering into my eyes. "I really do."
I smiled, and leaned forward and kissed my old lover.
That is, until Madame Pince swooped down on us, shouting that, even though it was a holiday, that didn't mean the library could be turned into a make out station. Remus and I laughed all the way back to the Gryffindor Tower.
When we got back, James and Peter were waiting in the common room.
"Remus, Sirius!" James yelped when we climbed in. "Where have you been?"
"Taking care of things, it's okay James," Remus replied. He smiled so widely that the other two just stared. I nodded, and took Remus's hand, leading him to the dormitory.
"Come on, Remy," I whispered to him on the way up the stairs. "We need a little time to make up............."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mwaha! Do not fear (or do fear, depending on how you look at it), this is not the end! So gimme reviews and I'll write more! Well, I'll write more anyway, but yeah. So now Remus and Sirius are back together (my mind: YESYESYESYES!!!), and Snape's making moves on Lucius. Boys are so weird. Lol. So, what will happen in the next chapter? Well, wait and find out!
I kept spelling couch wrong. I kept writing coach. Oh well.
THANK YOUS!:
animegirl9001 - haha! never fear, I always come through with the Remy/Siri goodness!
sirius - well, that problem was solved. lol