The Morning After
Chapter 2: By Morning's Light"Kagome…"
She's lost in a doze, mouth slightly open as her head rests against my shoulder. I know she'd wake at the slightest sound or movement, her senses have improved in the years we've been traveling together, improved quite a bit for a weak human. Overhead the sun peers through the clouds, it's almost midday. The letch and Sango are probably worried… hell, they were probably worried last night when we didn't come back from our little talk.
"Idiots," I smirk, basking in this new feeling. They had no reason to worry about Kagome when she was with me, they should know better than to think I'd let anything harm her.
Alive with power, I flex the arm Kagome isn't using as a pillow, watching my claws glint in the light. "Just let the bastards try, I'll rip them to pieces!" . I'm invincible; I know I could take on the world and win if I had to, I….
"You make a terrible pillow when you twitch around like that."
Sleepy eyes were looking up at me, narrowed in mock annoyance. Snorting, I pin her with a dubious expression. "And who said I was here for your personal enjoyment?"
"Jerk." Kagome made a show of putting most of her weight on her hands as she pushed off my chest and onto her knees. A slight flinch ran jolted her body, my ears twitched at the distressed gasp that barely escaped her lips.
I rolled to a sitting position, reaching for her immediately. "Kagome?"
She managed to fend off my hands while pulling on her blouse. "It's nothing. I'm just a little sore, that's all?"
"Sore?"
"Yeah sore," she rolls her eyes, searching the area for her skirt. "You were quite… enthusiastic."
I frown at that. Yes, things moved quicker at the stream than they had last night. I was more confident, more experienced than the first time… but I hadn't stopped to consider that my "enthusiasm" might have hurt her. "Kagome…"
Quizzical, her eyes turn to meet mine. With a shake of her head, she zips the skirt in place and kneels before me. "I'm fine," she assures me softly, one hand coming up to rub my dropping ear. It sends a shock of comfort through my system and I immediately relax. "In fact, I enjoyed it."
Her head drops as a blush creeps across her face. Seeing it, I smirk with pride.
For me…
Sighing, Kagome gives my ear one last caress before launching herself to her feet. "Come on, I'm sure the others are worried."
"Ohayou minna!"
The monk and demon slayer turned at the voice, breathing a collective sigh of relief. Kagome looked to be healthy and unhurt as she emerged from the forest, wet hair gleaming in the late-morning sun. More than healthy, she was unusually bubbly with a content smile blooming across her face and joy radiating from her person. Sango's eyes narrowed in concentration.
A self-satisfied hanyou emerged just steps behind her, his red clothing jumping suddenly from the shadows of the forest. He carried the enormous yellow pack over one shoulder and, stealing glimpse in Kagome's direction, a smirk drew up the corners of his mouth.
For me, he realized, as he watched the joyful bounce in her step. It was unfathomable, he never thought he'd find himself in such an intimate situation, and Kagome's initial reaction had scared him shitless. They were both uncertain, he saw that now and accepted it, but the thought that she might regret what had happened… He squashed the thought, Kagome made it clear she was more that willing, there was no point mulling over his misconceptions now.
InuYasha still wasn't convinced that all this was real. Hell, he'd had such bad luck with Kagome from the beginning, what with his death-threats over the jewel and insults born of wounded pride. Add in Kikyo's resurrection and it was no wonder he had a knack for making the raven-haired girl cry. But today… this morning the radiant look on her face was because of him, for him. He'd never felt lighter, never experienced a greater feeling of joy at seeing her smile…
Damn wench is turning me into a pansy…he grimaced mentally, but not even that could spoil his mood.
She was watching him, he realized as he jerked back into reality. The smile was still there but her eyes were uncertain. Kagome had stopped walking and was holding out her hand to him, hope in her eyes as she waited. It wasn't an unreasonable request, but it was pretty much an unspoken rule that no affection was to be shown in front of the rest of the group.
Screw that, Kagome deserved better.
Giving her a hesitant smile, he took the offered hand, wrapped his callused fingers carefully around hers in a firm grip. She grinned, mouth cracking wider than before, and came closer, leaning into his shoulder affectionately.
Sango cleared her through, drawing the couple's attention to the serious expression adorning the faces of the remaining members of the group.
"Sango-chan… is everything alright?" Kagome wondered, frowning in concern.
The warrior meet her gaze calmly, sadness and pity bleeding into her large black eyes. She was determined as she approached her younger friend, each step carefully measured and executed. "Kagome-chan…"
Something inside InuYasha, an instinct incomprehensible to his human mind, cried out in warning. He tried to silence it with reason. Sango was a friend and trusted traveling companion, she meant no harm and had no ill intent. He believed this, fully and completely, but something about the emotions going through the woman's eyes put him on guard. His hand tensed around Kagome's before he realized his actions.
Sango's acute eyes caught the movement and she stopped, eyeing him warily. The woman was well versed in youkai habits, she'd be damned if such a possessive action didn't inspire caution. "Kagome-chan, last night… last night did you consummate your relationship with InuYasha."
The carefully worded question released something primal. InuYasha balled his free hand into a painfully hard fist, but that didn't stop the growled comment from escaping his lips. "And what if she did!" he snapped, daring her to challenge the action.
Kagome was dumbfounded. She stared as she digested the full implication of her friend's words. Why was Sango looking at her as if her coupling with InuYasha was something shameful and dirty? She couldn't possibly be that closed minded, could she? "I did… why do you ask?"
"Oh Kagome-chan…"
Inuyasha froze; his body went absolutely stiff in response to the look in the slayer's eyes. He'd seen it before, in the faces of the courtiers who'd looked upon his mother, the fallen hime with the bastard hanyou son. There had been pity for her fate, disgust at him, the product, anger at his father for his daring, and fear. Fear above all else, to go near one so tainted.
No… they would not do this to me, they would not turn on me because of such prejudice. But they had, and did, because Sango was now glaring at him and poorly masked disgusted lined Miroku's serene face.
Well screw them, he didn't need either of them. As long as he had Kagome things would be fine… Kagome. They'd try to turn her against him, try to take her away from the filthy half-breed. He couldn't take that, no. Kagome loved him. Kagome promised to stay by his side, always…
InuYasha brought his arm around her waist, pinning her firmly to his side and out of Sango's sight. A wave of intense possessiveness overcame him, a feeling he usually only experienced around Kouga. She was his, no one would take her.
"What's that matter, Sango-chan?" Kagome wondered. The arms around her tightened, she tried her best to be neutral in the situation until she discovered the true nature of the situation.
Sango just shook her head, smiling sadly as she chewed her bottom lip. She was eyeing InuYasha carefully as she took another step towards the couple, arms stretched out as if to embrace the younger girl. But the hanyou was having none of that. He began to growl, viciously, and threw himself between the two females. "Stay back!"
The slayer frowned, quirking an eyebrow as all the compassion melted from her face. Her lithe form stiffened in preparation for a fight as she glared him down. "Get away from her."
Amber eyes flashed. "There's no way in hell…"
"InuYasha," Miroku's voice rang out, calm and commanding as always although his eyes were anything but serene. "We want nothing more than to assure Kagome-sama's well being."
He was horrified. "I'd never hurt her!"
Sango snorted and the growling started up again.
A soft hand found his arm and, absorbing the soothing presence of the girl beside him, InuYasha tried to quiet the noise into a barely audible rumble. Kagome was gazing towards the monk.
"Inu-Yasha didn't hurt me, Miroku-sama."
He bowed his dark head in acknowledgement. "I'm glad to hear that, but there's something I need to confirm if you could come over here."
InuYasha tensed again, readying himself for the worst, but she was too preoccupied to notice. Miroku was calm, too calm. Something was wrong.
"Okay," she agreed after a few moments of tense silence. It was a chore finding her way out of InuYasha's vice-like grip, but she managed and, upon regaining her freedom, took one his larger hands in her own and took a step forward. The bewildered expression on his face stopped her. "Inu Yasha?"
He couldn't speak, mesmerized as he was by the implication of that one simple gesture. She wasn't rejecting him, she was defending him in the face of their companions… He gulped. So many strange and unfamiliar emotions were coursing through his brain he wasn't quite sure how to respond. So he didn't, not verbally, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze before leading her forward.
"No funny business, letch." He warned gruffly, standing beside Kagome with crossed arms.
The attempt to lighten the mood did nothing and Miroku's face remained serious. "Hold out your hands please, Kagome-sama."
"A…alright…"
The monk's face creased in concentration as he held both his hands over her outstretched palm, muttering prayers. A glow engulfed his hands, spiritual power manifested, and engulfed Kagome's slender fingers. It hovered there for seconds before dissipating. Miroku sighed deeply.
"It is just as I feared."
Behind him, Sango looked away, eyes clenched painfully. Inu Yasha felt his heart beat quicken until the pounding was almost painful. Discreetly, he tested the air. Kagome didn't seem to smell much different, aside from the obvious presence of his own scent. It was still the same, light and fresh with an underlying current of… Crap!
He was so shocked he jolted visibly. Her scent was missing something, the tang of power that signaled the presence of her miko abilities. And the absence of that could only mean one thing.
The monk nodded in his direction. "You figured it out, InuYasha?" he wondered, coldly. "Then perhaps you'd care to explain the difference in Kagome-sama's scent since you were the cause…"
"Shut the hell up!" He was frantic, terrified, and furious all at once. It was correct to assume he knew that something like this would happen, thinking back on it now the result was obvious. But it had never occurred to him in terms of Kagome….
He didn't know how she'd react. At best she'd be furious but forgive him eventually. At worst… he didn't want to think about worst case.
She was looking up at him when he regained his wits, eyes wide with worry but a patient smile painting her face. That was such a Kagome action.
InuYasha couldn't stand to look at her. He couldn't stand seeing the gentle persistence there, the honesty, the understanding that would soon be wiped from her face. Everything was building too quickly around him. He couldn't take it anymore, so he reacted the only way he knew how.
"InuYasha!" Kagome yelled after the retreating red blur, shocked at his sudden retreat. Her eyes fell to Miroku, questions obvious.
"Coward." Sango spat softly, staring after his form in disgust.
Standing alone, Kagome shook her head. "He's not," she replied, worried. Still, she gave her friend a small smile that softened the scolding light in her eyes. "He's anything but, Sango-chan. You know that. He's just confused… and scared. I am too."
The soft sincerity in the younger girl's eyes spoke to something within Sango. She sighed, shaking her head as the anger drained from her body. "I'm sorry Kagome-chan, I just never thought him capable of… this. There was no way he couldn't have known…"
Casting her friend a concerned look, Kagome frowned. "What is "this", exactly?"
Sango turned her head in evasion. Miroku quickly stepped in.
"Kagome-sama, do you sense any shards?"
"No…" She replied dubiously.
He was watching her expectantly, only to sigh seconds later. "Alright, please hold out your hands. I would like you to manifest your powers physically, as I believe Kaede-sama had taught you."
"Alright, I suppose…"
Secretly, Kagome was growing annoyed with her friends and this guarded atmosphere. Their strange behavior worried them, then with InuYasha running off… she wanted nothing more than to go after him, but something told her figuring out the problem at hand was more important.
She closed her eyes as she'd been taught and visualized her powers, waiting for the black and white mental image to zoom to life, the signal that her powers were ready to be used. But nothing happened. Blaming it on distraction, she ordered herself focus, but when even that failed to work, she felt the first inklings of panic creep into her brain.
"Kagome-sama, that's enough."
Miroku's voice cut through the impending chaos and her eyes snapped open, focusing on the sorrow in his eyes. "I can't call my powers."
He nodded, shaking his head. "Because they no longer exist, Kagome-sama."
The bottom dropped out of her stomach, she could think of no words to say as she grasped frantically at what had been said.
Sango watched her sadly. "Miko and youkai were never meant to mate, Kagome-chan. It's a sad truth, the consequences of which are widely known."
Her mind felt numb, she fought the fog as she tried to form an intelligent reply. "So, does that mean…"
"Hai, Kagome-sama," Miroku answered, solemn. "You are no longer a miko."
Looking back on it, InuYasha realized he had been less than discreet. His head had been, and still was, a tangled mess of anger, sorrow, and guilt above all else. There was no way he could be expected to think straight given the situation.
He meant to go in stealth, leaving no way for the others to follow him, and never return again. It was the least he could do- at least he wouldn't be fucking Kagome's life up any further. But he couldn't handle it, so he lashed out. InuYasha cut a path of destruction through the forest, leveling trees and boulders alike as he dashed blindly forward.
Perhaps that was why she was able to find him as easily as she did
He caught her scent first, just the briefest wisp carried to him on the breeze. A thousand emotions assaulted him at once- their was pride at the underlying "him-ness" to her smell, a pang of worry at her being out alone. As his mind caught up with his senses, he was, of course, overwhelmed by guilt by the complete lack of a pulsating smell, that of her miko powers.
Thoughts of escape filled his mind. InuYasha knew she wouldn't be able to catch up if he bolted, not with her human speed and endurance, but he also realized how very vulnerable she was. If he left her alone, unprotected, there was no telling what could come across her. And that thought was a thousand times more frightening than her rejection.
"InuYasha?"
His ears perked at her voice, but he didn't look up or straighten from his protective crouch. She stepped out from behind the trees. Still, he did not move. She came closer until she was standing before him. He could not face her, not after what he'd stolen from her. Silence invaded his senses. He started to twitch.
"InuYasha." Kagome kneeled before him, close enough to touch but he wouldn't allow himself that luxury, it was the last thing he deserved.
Kagome's heart broke as she watched his uncharacteristic behavior. He looked forlorn, all but broken and she knew she'd do anything to change that, even if it meant baring her soul before him.
"InuYasha… Miroku and Sango… they didn't mean to blame you." Sighing, she leaned into his side. He flinched at the contact. "What happened wasn't your fault."
"The hell it isn't."
"It isn't!" Her tone began to ride with righteous indignation. It was something he admired about her, her ability to fight so passionately for what she believed in. But this time, he knew she was mistaken. "You didn't do anything wrong!"
"All I know is that you didn't fuck yourself, Kagome!"
She gasped, eyes going huge as she jerked away from his side to stare at him in shock. InuYasha thought she'd yell… she seemed to be mad enough, or perhaps leave him all together like he deserved. But none of that happened. One second she was glaring daggers, the next Kagome had thrown hers into his arms.
"I love you," she declared earnestly, clutching his head to her chest desperately. "I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you…"
Bewildered, InuYasha managed to chock out her name.
She buried her face in his hair, kissing the top of his head. "It doesn't matter about my miko powers," Kagome continued, her grip relaxing to a gentle caress. Her hands fluttered over his back, his head, his ears, bringing him comfort he knew he didn't deserved. "I got along fine without them before, so why should now be any different?"
He knew she was trying to convince him of that fact as much as she was trying to convince herself. InuYasha shuddered but couldn't tear himself from her embrace.
"If that was the price for proving how much I love you," she continued, "then so be it. It was worth every last drop of my powers."
That was the last straw. He couldn't take anymore, the guilt was killing him from the inside out. InuYasha pulled away from the girl and looked at her, long and hard. Her beautiful eyes were wide and sincere, questioning his well-being as a watery smile touched her lips. I don't deserve her.
"Kagome… I don't deserve you."
She frowned, her gaze darkening. "Don't ever say that."
"Keh. Why the hell not if it's tru-".
The weight of her small body colliding with his sent him sprawling backwards and knocked the air from his lungs. She glared down on him, straddling his waist. "I love you."
Don't… why do you keep saying that. He cringed, she noticed.
"Are you listening, dog boy? I love you and that's my choice, no one else's. Nothing else matters." Her tone softened and she smiled, a nervous light entering her eyes as she brushed his face with trembling fingers. "So please, don't blame yourself for anything that's happen because I regret nothing."
"Keh. Who says I blamed myself?" InuYasha was more than flustered but struggled to hide it.
Kagome beamed down at him. She stared at his face, her eyes falling to his lips, before a deep blush covered her face. He didn't have time to admire the color, however, because her lips connected hesitantly with the spot seconds later and all thoughts of guilt evaporated.
-TBC
Author's Note: This chapter proved to be very problematic and although I'm somewhat disappointed with how it came out, the best way for me to continue the story was push this chapter out. More chapter to come soon… more plot too.