Disclaimer: I may never own Inuyasha. But Ronin is mine I tell you, MINE!

A/N: I hope I didn't scare you guys away because of that long week wait. Oh and I will never write lemons so get that out of your fucking heads, ok?

Chapter Five: The Lone Wolf's Suffering; The Rainbow Flower's Fate

All I could think about during my drive home for lunch was Kagome's kiss. I knew I'd probably get it when I got back to the coffee shop but still; it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Kind of like when I was drunk the night I slept with Ayame.

Oh, I DID NOT JUST THINK THAT!

I paused and took a chocolate bar out of my glove compartment. I tore the wrapper off with my teeth. It was a Caramilk.

How do they get the caramel in the Caramilk bar?

I pondered this for a moment, my mouth half-full with chocolate and caramel. Ah, the sweet taste of chocolate. The hell with caramel; chocolate was much more tasteful alone.

I finished the bar in thirty-two seconds (Actually, I inhaled the whole thing and chewed on it) and the taste reminded me of something.

Oh, I DID NOT JUST THINK THAT!

Kouga, how perverted are you? I thought to myself as I patiently waited for the red light to flash green.

God, maybe that Miroku guy at work who went around touching girls in their sensitive parts was rubbing off on me.

Dog Breath was right about one thing; that guy was a freak of nature.

Sesshomaru should have fired that guy a long time ago.

The light finally turned green and I drove down the street.

I sighed. It had partially been my fault that Ayame had gotten pregnant with Ronin. Maybe it was really my fault. Don't guys always get blamed for this kind of thing?

Typical stereotype: Guy forces girl into having sex; Girl gets pregnant; Girl doesn't tell parents until last minute; Girl tells Guy she's pregnant and he runs off; Girl is left as a young, single/unwed mother.

Firstly, the first part didn't happen. I didn't force Ayame into having sex with me. Recalling as much as I could remember; she was as drunk as me and she wanted to do it.

Secondly, Ayame told me she was pregnant two weeks later. She apparently bought a pregnancy test at a drug store since she was advised by her friend to do so. She practically died when she told me. Hell, I wasn't happy. But I wasn't upset either. I was kind of in the middle of the two feelings.

The ski trip felt like yesterday but it was really oh, six years ago. I had unbelievably strong feelings for her. She was my first and last girlfriend in high school. I didn't really know her feelings towards me but I knew that she liked me otherwise she wouldn't be going out with me.

She was patient, she was intelligent and she definitely scored some points on the physical appearance mark. Personality was on her side too. She wasn't one of those popular people who sassed the teacher; she was on the quiet side. Her marks were decent; kind of like mine which were slightly above average if I do say so myself.

Her father was a lawyer; not the kind of guy to mess with. I unfortunately learned that the hard way. No, he didn't sue me; he just yelled my head off and left me with the baby. He had her fiery red hair but her forest-green eyes; according to Ayame; came from her mother who left her father a long time ago when Ayame was just a baby.

I sympathized that; I didn't exactly have a cheerful family history. I was practically alone in the world since my parents hated each other and ignored me. The basic morning routine in my family was wake up, get a Pop-Tart, wake Mom up who slept in the bedroom but that usually was unsuccessful (she loved the drink), wake Dad up who slept on the couch (Dad couldn't get things sorted out with a judge so he couldn't divorce Mom), clean myself up and get the hell out of there.

When I got home, I usually found one of two things;

1. Broken dishes or any objects; which my parents threw at each other

2. Blood; if any of the objects actually hit my parents

I was there for one sole reason: to break up my parents' fights. When I was little, Dad used to come to my room after dark and read my stories. Then he got sick; just like Mom. At ages 6-8, I went through one phase: Shame. I was angry at that fact that other people had parents that loved each other and I didn't. I would tear up any books that even mentioned happy people.

Why should they be happy when I wasn't?

Then I met Ayame when I was seven. I decided to run away from home without bringing any supplies (Hey, I was seven and I was upset. I won't even go there.). I went to the first place that came to mind; the playground. My plan was to live in the jungle gym. Ayame and her father were there; on the swings.

At first, I ignored them and built a sand castle. I made people out of various sticks lying on the ground and stuck them around the sand castle. I made them in killing poses; one was at the corner of the castle, drinking beer (which was a pebble).

After a while, Ayame sat on the bench with her father and had a snack (granola bars). I stopped playing with my sand castle and watched them for a while; tears streaming down my cheeks. Hurray; another happy family. I was angry and jealous. There Ayame was, having a great time with her father while I stuck with a family that hated me.

Ayame was sitting there with her father, when she noticed me. She must have noticed my tear-stained face and my stickman fortress since she said something to her father and walked over to me. She crouched down beside me and gave me a nudge. I was too absorbed in my own self-pity to notice that she was there. She gave me a smile that although wasn't as nice as Kagome's; was beautiful to me at that young age.

My life slowly became happier after I met Ayame. She was practically the only one who was ever my friend and saw beyond the hurt, angry Kouga to who I really was away from the pain. She treated me like a person: not some deranged, dangerous wolf that everyone else saw through their eyes. I liked her (maybe even more) at that young age.

My Ayame-chan. That's what she was to me; from the time that I met her to the time that I broke up to her. I still call her that when I'm feeling good but she treats it like some sort of insult. She's still scarred from that whole pregnancy thing… literally. But this is not the place to talk about the marks on someone's…. yeah. I guess sixteen hours of labor really affects you. At least I actually sat in that hospital for fourteen and a half hours; watching Ronin being brought into the world and being pelted by the evil glances Ayame's father was given me.

Everything went wrong at the ski trip. You're probably thinking 'What does a ski trip have to do with Kouga's broken relationship?' but believe me, the ski trip plays a big part with my and Ayame's possible love life. I don't even want to be reminded about our one-time sex opportunity. Like I care anyways; I was content as a virgin and I had a plan. I was only going to have sex when I got married (A/N: What?).

I was absorbed in my painful memories the minute I got out of my car from the moment I entered my apartment. I looked at the counter. Ronin had written me a hate letter in brown pencil crayon.

Der Daddi,

I hAtE yOu

Luv, Ronin

My son has a very interesting vocabulary. And he knew how to write? Well, that shows how much I know about my own son. I crumpled up the note and threw it in the garbage.

A/N: That's it. Chapter Six will explain the ski trip so stay tuned! Read and respond please!

Kawaii Aku