Hit Where It Hurts
"Susan, you might want to get over here!
Quick!"
"What is it, Sam?"
Sam ran in with an occupied
gurney, Jake following quickly behind.
"It's Abby."
"Oh
my God what happened?"
Jake answered, "I called her. I asked
her if she had an abortion. She was crying but she wasn't talking.
Then she hung up. She hadn't picked up her home phone but she
picked up her cell, so I went out looking for her. Finally I found
her in a bathroom stall in one of the bars she goes to. She was
passed out and I couldn't find a pulse, so I got her here as
quickly as I could!"
"Oh man… ok, Sam, I need a… uh…
blood alcohol…tox screen… EKG… and… BP"
Susan could
hardly get the words out. Somehow, this must be my fault
Susan thought. She choked on each word as she saw her best friend
almost lifeless on the table in front of her. Susan leaned in to
check a pulse, but couldn't find one. Jake noticed she wasn't
breathing and told Susan to tube her. Carter passed by and noticed
the commotion going on and rushed in to help. Just as Susan started
to tube, Abby began seizing. Susan yanked the tube and laryngoscope
out of Abby's mouth and tried to hold her head steady with tears
now pouring out of the blonde's eyes. Carter ran and got 5 of
haldol and without hesitation jammed the needle into Abby's jeans.
The seizure calmed down and Abby's heart monitor was reconnected.
Flatline.
Jake was going crazy.
"Someone! Do something!
You gotta help her!"
"Jake, this is as hard for us as it is
for you. But she's a doctor. She knew what she was doing and
exactly how much she had to take in order to succeed. We've been
shocking her heart for the past 94 minutes. There has been no heart
activity for 76. If this was anyone else, we would've given up an
hour ago. I'm sorry Jake…" Susan gets interrupted.
"NO! NO
THAT'S NOT IT! KEEP GOIN! GIVE HER ATROPIN, DOPAMINE, SOMETHING!
YOU HAVE TO HELP HER!"
Jake collapsed into tears on the trauma
room floor.
"Jake, I'm sorry" Susan, who had been crying
since Abby was wheeled in sat down on the floor with Jake and held
him while he rocked back and forth as if that would bring her back.
"Call it." Susan said to Carter, but Carter made no attempt
to say the assigned line.
"Fine if you're not going to call
it, then I will!" Susan trying to hide her pain with aggression
"Time of death… 12:47 AM"
With another great sob, Jake and
Susan left the room with Sam to tell everyone about what happened and
to get a death kit. Carter was alone in the room with Abby's body.
Hovering over her, holding her hand for the last time, Carter
whispered in her ear
"Abby." He started to break down crying,
but drew himself together to finish what he has always wanted to tell
her.
"Abby… I love you."
Carter kissed her hand, but
realized this was the last time he would be kissing her and decided
to kiss her cold lips. She lay on the table so peacefully. She wasn't
smiling. She lay there like she spent most of her life. Alone and
sad. She died the way she lived. Carter couldn't take it any more
and left the room with water droplets rolling down his face. On the
way out, Carter ran into Susan. They started to talk about Abby. When
they reached the doctor's lounge, Susan turned around to Carter and
said "It's ironic… don't you think?"
"What?"
"Today
when I found Abby in the abortion clinic she begged me not to tell
Jake. She said he'd kill her. Instead, you go and tell him and she
ends up killing herself. So I guess we're even. I killed 1,
you killed 1."
