Heart's Filthy Lesson
Chapter Two
Stockholm Syndrome
"Pain doesn't hurt...when it's all you've ever felt." anonymous
a/n: again with the aaaaaa's line break...not screaming.
Disclaimer: Nope...Inuyasha doesn't belong to me
This chapter is rated M for violence and rape
Although his face and voice gave away nothing, Rin knew Sesshomaru was angry. She tried a gap toothed smile, tried to look cheerful. But her smile quickly faded.
"Explain yourself. I will not ask again." His voice was barely above a whisper, but she flinched as though he'd yelled at her.
Rin lowered her head and stared at her dirty toes. "Rin found Tori in the river." She stammered. "She is sick. Rin thought she could make Tori better before Sesshomaru-sama got back..."
He stood there a moment more as still as stone. Were it not for the breeze that stirred his long, silver-white hair, Rin would have thought him a statue. Sesshomaru cocked his head to one side and looked down at the woman who's breath came in ragged, liquid stops and starts.
"See?" She began in a quavering voice. "Tori is very sick."
Sesshomaru turned to walk away. "Get rid of it." He said and then was gone.
Rin stared after him long after he was gone, tears filling her eyes, grief aching in her chest. She drew in a shuddering breath and knelt beside Tori who was still unconscious. Rin smoothed the tangled hair away from the woman's dirty face, her eyes going to the faded bruises on her throat.
Someone had been very cruel to Tori. Rin understood cruelty and she placed her small hand on the bruises, felt Tori's pulse flutter, so weak against her palm.
There was a rustling in the tall grass behind her, but Rin didn't turn to see who it was. She knew it was Jaken. Sesshomaru wouldn't be so noisy.
"Rin..."
"I know." She replied brokenly. "But it isn't fair!"
She waited for Jaken to say something mean, but he didn't. "No, perhaps not." His tone was pensive.
She turned to look at him. She knew what she wanted to say...what she wanted to do, but it was hard and it hurt so very much. "Jaken...Rin will stay here." She managed finally.
He didn't seemed surprised. "That would be most foolish, child. That woman is going to die. You don't have the skill to heal her."
"It is Rin's fault." She said, squeezing her eyes shut against a torrent of hot tears.
Jaken shook his head. "No. It isn't Rin's fault."
"It is. Rin made her sing when she was tired. Rin is selfish."
She stood and wiped her eyes with her sleeve and set her jaw. "Rin will make Tori better."
"Child...you cannot."
She stamped her foot. "I can too! And I will!"
Jaken sighed. "As you wish." Then he shuffled off.
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Rin woke at dawn, back stiff from sleeping on the ground. Even before she went to the campsite, she knew they were gone. Gone. Sesshomaru had tired of her, just as Jaken had always said he would. She bit down hard on her lip and fought the grief. No, she wouldn't cry. She had to be strong.
Through bleary eyes, Rin poked at the fire with a long stick, trying to coax the glowing embers back to life. If Tori was to get well, she would have to eat and regain her strength. Somewhere, though she was too stubborn to admit, Rin knew that she couldn't heal the woman.
She wished that Sesshomaru-sama hadn't left her and she began to doubt her decision. What would happen if Tori died? Then you'll be all alone, Rin told herself. All alone.
She remembered the feeling of being alone. The desperate feeling that drove her to try to help an injured youkai in the woods. It had been the same desperation that had compelled her to save the woman in the river. Loneliness.
Tears slid down her cheeks. She couldn't stop them and was tired of trying. She bit down on her lip again and continued to coax the fire, prodding it a bit harder than she needed to.
As the fire began to dance once again, Rin's face lit up in a bright smile. She couldn't heal Tori...but a miko could.
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Tori tested her weight on the cane Rin had made for her out of a long stick. It was hard at first and the sharp end bit into the tender skin of her underarm. Rin wound a bit of cloth and that made it easier. She didn't have the heart to tell the child that she didn't think she would make it to the village...that she would most likely be dead within a day or two.
Tori gave it her best effort and despite feeling as if she would topple at any moment, she began to limp along.
Rin clapped her hands together in glee. "It works! Now we can go to the miko."
Tori frowned at the child. "I still say that a miko would not wish to help one such as me."
"This miko will. Rin promises."
"Is it far?"
Rin shook her head. "No, the village is close, but..." She sighed. "Rin thinks it will still take a long time. You can't walk very fast."
"Why are you helping me, child?" Tori asked her suddenly. Her hair hid her face, as it usually did and it was a comfort.
She watched the child through her veil of tangled locks. Suddenly feeling very bad about being suspicious of the little girl who obviously meant her no harm...and who had lost so much because of her.
"Rin helps you because you need help." Came the sweet reply.
"You should not have done this. You angered the youkai and he left...I am not capable of protecting you, little one."
Tori realized that had been a cruel thing to say to the girl. She watched as the child's face crumpled and her large brown eyes filled with tears.
"Forgive me...and do not cry. I am in your debt."
Rin wiped her eyes and nose on her sleeve. "Rin thinks we should go now." The child sidled up next to her and slipped her warm, little hand into her free one.
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It had been slow going and when they stopped to make camp for the night, Tori was exhausted. Her breath wheezed and no matter how she gasped, she couldn't seem to get enough air. She doubted she would make it to the village.
I must try, she told herself. I must try for this little child. She watched the girl skip through the tall grass, grubby hands swatting at the fireflies. Tori's heart gave a painful lurch. It had been a long time since someone had been kind to her. So long that it hurt too much. Pain was better, she decided. Pain was easier and pain was what she deserved.
The spring breeze was soft and warm, but it chilled her fevered skin and she shivered, her arms covered in gooseflesh. Suddenly her mouth went dry as she heard a rustle coming from the stand of trees behind them. It wasn't just the fever that made her shiver. Something was there, watching them.
She swiveled her head to look, but she couldn't see anything. A noise in the field startled her, distracting her. It was Rin. The child was running to her, eyes wide with terror.
"Tori!" She said in a hushed, frantic whisper. "Put out the fire!"
Tori grabbed a pot of water and doused the flames. Damn, she thought, the fire is making too much smoke. She took her blanket and covered the mess of wet wood and smoldering embers. She hoped that whatever Rin was afraid of hadn't noticed.
But they had.
A group of men, Tori counted four, came over the hill. Bandits. Tori thought with despair. The child was terrified and hid behind her as Tori rose on shaking legs. She leaned on the cane and hoped the bandits would leave them be. Surely a sick woman and a child didn't possess anything they wanted.
The leader stepped forward, dagger in hand. Tori could smell the stink of liquor on him. She gave Rin's hand a squeeze. The child should run.
"Look fellas!" The bandit snickered. "I found a wild woman!"
The others had joined the leader now and were snickering.
"Run child." Tori whispered. "Run and don't look back."
The girl didn't move and Tori could feel her little body trembling behind her. Tori took in a shuddering breath and suppressed a fit of coughing. With all her might, she shoved Rin away from her.
"I said run! Now go!" She shouted, her voice harsh.
She heard the child loose a strangled sob and then, much to her relief, she heard her soft footsteps retreat into the woods.
"Go after that kid, Fujita." The bandit leader snarled to a lanky man with greasy hair.
"Wait!" Tori said. She pushed back the mat of tangled hair and licked her lips. "I sent the child away...so that we could have a little fun." She smiled demurely as her body went cold in rebellion.
Her hand went to her rags and she pulled them down and stood naked before them. They laughed at her.
The bandit leader spat on her. "That ain't the kind of fun I had in mind." He neared her, the dagger's edge winking in the moonlight.
Tori steadied her nerves and forced her body to stop trembling. She gave him a vicious smile. "Fine. Do as you wish. I won't fight you, but leave the child alone." There was nothing this brigand could do that had not been done to her before. She was not afraid.
"Fujita! I told you to go after that kid!" the leader snarled.
The one called Fujita shrugged and began to trudge past her. She leaped on him, knocking them both to the ground. Rough hands had her by the shoulders and she was thrown off of the bandit. Hands tangled in her filthy hair and pain spiked in her scalp as the leader pulled her through the grass by her tresses. She gritted her teeth against the pain, but refused to cry out. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
She twisted her body, the pain driving her on, and she bit down hard on the leader's hand. She felt a crunch under the weight of her jaws and then the satisfying rush of blood into her mouth.
The bandit howled in rage and much to Tori's delight, Rin was forgotten. Fists pummeled her, rough hands were at her throat. A knife was pressed against her hip and she felt the edge just barely part the skin. Tori closed her eyes. This was familiar and she retreated until she was far, far away.
Every blow sent her farther into her created illusion. The more pain that was inflicted upon her, the more real her illusion became. She could almost feel the damp earth under her feet, almost smell the jasmine that hung heavy in the air. She smiled, lulled by a cricket's song.
"You stupid bitch!" The bandit hissed between clenched teeth. He cradled his bloody hand to his chest.
He straddled her prone body. "After I'm done and the others have a turn, we're gonna cut that pretty face of yours."
But Tori didn't hear him. She was gazing at a full moon in a splendid garden, singing to a nightingale. It will happen now, she hummed to herself. She would die and then her night time garden would be hers forever.
Tori barely felt what he was doing to her...barely felt the dagger that dug into her side, washing the green grass with her blood. The pain begged to be noticed, tearing the fabric of her illusion. But she had so much practice...and the illusion held.
And then it was shattered. Blood splashed over her face and chest as the bandit on top of her was eviscerated. His intestines spilled out of the ugly gash at his gut and she watched in detached interest as he tried to cram them back in, fingers slipping over the slimy coils. A blade sang through the air and the bandit's head was loosed from his shoulders.
She heard the others scream in terror and then in pain and then there was silence. Tori wished she could see the savior that had come too late, but her vision was dimming so fast.
Sparks flared in her vision, bright blue against the hazy gray backdrop of her dying eyes. The last thing she felt as she slipped away, was the press of a warm, small hand in hers.
A/N: Yay! This chapter is certainly more exciting than the last. As I mentioned before...I am not too fond of the first chapter disease. Second chapters are always easier to write. Thanks and enjoy!