Hey! Starting off I'd like to say thanks to everyone who reviewed! And now… I'd like to give the 'prestigious' award of my dedication to AkaiKurai! This one's to you! Hope you all enjoy it!

Kagome smiled up at Sesshoumaru, he was so beautiful. Was that weird? How could a boy be beautiful right? Sesshoumaru was… and he was so much more. He was cold, calm, collected. Warm, and at times, he was a complete wreck. All in all he was a walking contradiction, and Kagome loved it! And right now… lying in his arms like this, Kagome felt better than she had in years. She smiled up at him and wrote a mental letter to everyone she knew.

Mom, Souta, Grandpa, and to whom it may concern…

I've done it. I've finally done it! I've moved past the past and am now looking at the future… Please be happy for me!

With love,

Kagome

P.s. By the way… the future has really beautiful eyes!

Kagome giggled at that last part. Sometimes she wondered if she was just stupid, or actually mentally insane. She figured it was probably the latter, but… well actually, neither sounded very good. She sighed, today was so confusing, and it wasn't even 9:00 yet! She smiled and snuggled deeper into his well-built chest and gripped his shirt tightly. Man! She really hoped she wasn't dreaming because this was so nice! Her breathing hitched as he looked down at her, his eyes doing that weird confusing thing again. What WAS that anyways? Some odd emotion that she just couldn't quite put her finger on. But then the look disappeared and he slowly unwound his arms from around her waist and stepped back. And suddenly… suddenly she felt very cold. Cold, and somehow alone in her feelings. Her breath left her with a 'whoosh' and she stood alone in then middle of her den, Sesshoumaru only a passing of silver at the door. Kagome starting laughing and then smiled sadly.

Mom, Souta, Grandpa, and to whom it may concern…

Scratch that…

Thanks!

Kagome

Kagome glared in the direction that Sesshoumaru went and took off after him, intent on telling his sorry ass off! Nobody goes from being that sweet and then freezing at the touch. Kagome slowed down and sighed, nobody that is, except Sesshoumaru. Maybe telling him off wouldn't be the best approach. But the thought was only a passing thought in Kagome's head as she took back off after him. After a while of no luck she lost some of her temper, and was more worried that something might have been bothering him. She looked everywhere! Well everywhere except for outside, but why would he go there?

'Worth a shot!'

Kagome thought, always the optimistic… Walking outside she looked around, still not spotting her newfound interest anywhere, she sighed in aggravation and turned to head back inside when a voice came from the sacred tree.

"Why do you search for me?"

Kagome whirled around to face Sesshoumaru who had one foot dangling from the limb he sat upon and his other brought up to his chest with one arm laying across it. The sunlight was hitting his hair just right making him look…

'Beautiful…'

Kagome admitted, he seemed to glow. But… she noticed, that he had a pained look on his face. She stuffed her hands into her pockets, and sighed. She walked over to him, a brisk wind chilling her cheeks, and she vaguely realized how quickly fall was catching them. She awkwardly tried to climb up to where he was but ended up falling on her butt. She looked up at Sesshoumaru who gave her a sad smile and held down his hand. Kagome blushed and swallowed the lump in her throat that threatened to cause her to cry out her protests of how unfair it all was. She grabbed his hand and he hauled her up to his level and she sat in between his legs and lay her head on his shoulder and idly played with his hands as they curled themselves around her own. He leaned down, mere centimeters away from her ear and whispered, "I'm sorry…"

Kagome turned around and smiled. Coming from him that meant a lot. She figured he didn't apologize a whole lot, and she was right. She just didn't know how right she was.

"It's ok, I mean I was kind of mad at first… but now…" She said running one hand down his cheek, "now I'm more worried. What's wrong?"

She watched in some strange fascination as Sesshoumaru sighed and closed his eyes, lifting his head to the sky before saying, "You are not the only one with a past…"

Kagome stilled in his arms and felt the lump forming once again at the back of her throat. She didn't know it yet, but the world was slowly crumbling in around her. She gripped his hand and said, "S-Sesshoumaru… what are you talking about? Tell me, please!"

She became frantic when he moved to get away from her, she gripped onto him in a death-like hug and said, "No! No please tell me!" She looked into his golden eyes, so troubled and tortured, "Please, Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru settled himself and gripped her to him and said, "Her name was Kagura…"

Kagome felt her body go numb. Whatever she had been expecting, it wasn't that. Never had she suspected that Sesshoumaru would love somebody. She felt the stinging needles of jealousy at the back of her mind and fought to control it. So she did it in the only way she knew how, she stared right up into his eyes and shakily said, "S-She sounds pretty."

Sesshoumaru looked away from her and closed his eyes in pain.

"She was beautiful…"

Kagome felt her throat close, and she suddenly couldn't get enough oxygen. She needed to breath but she couldn't, and yet… she still lived. Somehow Kagome choked out, "Did you… did you love her?"

She felt the sting of tears at the back of her eyelids when he nodded slowly. She really wished she had just stayed in the den now.

"I did… she was so unlike any girl I have ever encountered. She was a true lady."

Kagome felt the words pounding themselves into her mind. True lady… that stood out the most. Kagome, she decided, you are not a true lady. Hell, most of the time you aren't even lady-like! She felt like distancing herself from Sesshoumaru, she really didn't want to hear the rest of his story, but his arms encircled her waist and forced her back to his chest where his whispered, "Just listen…"

She collapsed and closed her eyes tightly, willing his words to change. They did not, and she had not really expected them to. So she did what he asked…

"Kagura… she was sent to destroy me. I was new in the business world, and already was competition for the larger companies. So of course they sent out to crush me. I met her at a bar, where she was… not scantily dressed, but not altogether decent either. She was playing the role of seductress, however… she was a poor actor. I saw the frightened girl behind the makeup. I talked to her and found out she was actually an intelligent girl that had just found herself in a bad situation. She was working for a man who she refused to give the name of. And then we parted ways… I thought that was the last I would ever encounter the strange woman. However I was wrong. Over the next few weeks I began to bump into her here and there, and every time I found something growing inside me. I began to look for her everywhere I went, hoping to run into her. She had somehow snuck past my defenses and into my heart. And as crazy as it sounds, I liked it. You would think I would be angry, but I wasn't. We began to run into each other on purpose and she grew close to my heart…"

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes and looked down at the girl in his arms, visibly shaking trying to contain herself.

"What happened?" She asked. She couldn't help but ask, even if she really didn't want to know.

"She died…" Sesshoumaru said while turning his face away, a haunted look creasing his normally smooth brow. Kagome felt her heart call out to him and yet felt it tie in knots as well.

'So this is how it ends…'

He didn't get over her… she realized. So was she just some stand in? Was she just some understudy, not quite good enough to be number one? Kagome felt the lump in her throat and couldn't control it any longer.

"I have to go now…"

She jumped to the ground and walked as fast as she could in the direction of her house. She quickly decided against it of course, it was somewhere HE could follow. She ran to the steps leading to her shrine home and began to run down them. She collapsed somewhere down the middle as the tears finally broke free from the grasp she held them with. They stung her lungs as they trickled down her cheeks, and her throat felt on fire. She just knew her eyes were already red and puffy, and her cheeks blotchy. She never was the prettiest crier, which made her only cry harder. She pounded the ground, not noticing how it bruised her hand, she only noticed how unfair life was quickly becoming.

"Not fair! IT'S NOT FAIR!" She screamed as she pounded the ground for all she was worth. She felt a hand grasp her shoulder and an unfamiliar voice call out to her.

"Ma'am… are you okay?"

Kagome looked up into a boyishly handsome face and turned away. She must look ridiculous, laying in a heap on the ground, face red andeyes bloodshot.

"Ma'am, why are you crying?"

Kagome looked up into the boys face. He looked to be about 18 or so. Kagome smiled and stood up, gently wrapping her arms around the boy's neck.

"Thank-you…" She whispered, nearly wanting to laugh at the blush that stained his cheeks.

"F-For what ma'am?" The boy said, giving her a questioning look. Kagome smiled and sighed starting to head up the stairs back to her home.

"Ma'am! Wait!" The boy shouted running to catch up with her. She turned around startled, and waited for him to catch up. She raised one eyebrow and tilted her head to the side, causing her hair to cascade past her shoulder.

"Yes?" She asked, genuinely confused. What could he want?

"I don't know you or anything… but I was wondering, maybe if you aren't busy, we could go get some coffee sometime."

Kagome blinked and smiled sadly at the boy in front of her. She ran her knuckles down his cheek and said, "You do not want me…"

And then she left him standing on the steps, looking at her with a pitying expression on his face. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked back down the stairs. He didn't know her, but he really hoped things went better for her. And then he disappeared into the crowd of people. Kagome sighed and watched him walk away with a sigh. When would life be fair?

'Will it ever?'

No, she decided, it probably wouldn't. And she'd have to learn how to handle it when most of the time, things didn't turn out for the better. Take now for instance, she'd have to accept it eventually. But damnit if she didn't want to! She didn't know how long she sat there, at the top of the steps, contemplating life and other things but she finally decided to go inside due to the constant rumbling of her traitorous stomach. She walked into the kitchen and stared at Sesshoumaru who was sitting on a kitchen stool looking at her. She looked away and walked to the refrigerator where she grabbed the things she needed and continued on her way to making herself a sandwich. She ignored him and swallowed the lump in her throat. Damnit, why wasn't he saying anything? How could he just sit there while she suffered? Couldn't he see that she was suffering? She starting viciously making her sandwich and threw everything back in the fridge roughly grabbing her soda and plate and headed for the den, but was stopped by a hand grasping her wrist.

"Kagome…"

She tore her hand away and sat down on the couch, roughly eating her sandwich. Barely chewing enough to physically swallow. She didn't notice the tears that trickled down her cheeks nor did she notice how Sesshoumaru quietly sat down next to her. She took a swallow of soda, a bit too big for her and began choking on it. She became near frantic and cried out when Sesshoumaru wrapped his arms around her.

"No! No! Get way from me, go away!" She cried as she pounded her fists against his chest. "Don't... don'tleave… please…"

Kagome felt Sesshoumaru tighten his arms around her. She cried into his chest.

"So tired… so tired of crying. But I can't help it. Don't you see?"

Kagome stared up into Sesshoumaru carefully guarded eyes, so she couldn't tell what he was feeling. She became angry again. She pushed him away from her and yelled.

"WHAT are you playing at? First you're so warm and nice and then you're cold and guarded!"

She watched as Sesshoumaru's eyes widened slightly.

"What are you playing at?"

Sesshoumaru grasped Kagome's shoulders and said, "Why do you think I play?"

Kagome started laughing and shrugged his hands off. She pointed her finger at him, and glared.

"You! Why did you do it? Why did you do that to me huh? You make me actually like you and then you go and tell me that story! Why do you play with me? I NEVER should have agreed to meet you!"

Sesshoumaru frowned and said, "Is that how you really feel?"

Kagome's bottom lip quivered. Whatever she said next could change everything. So… what to say?

"I don't know…"

Sesshoumaru nodded his head and turned away… Kagome felt desperation sink in.

"There you go again… you play with me…" Kagome said dejectedly.

Sesshoumaru whirled around and crushed her to his chest and said, "I play with nothing!"

Kagome struggled in his unrelenting grasp and said, "Then why? Why did you tell me the story about Kagura?"

Sesshoumaru let her go and said confusedly, "You asked…"

Kagome laughed and said, "You should have lied!" Tears began pouring from her eyes, "Why couldn't you just lie?"

Sesshoumaru stepped closer to her and said, "Because you needed to know…"

Kagome shook her head wildly and said, "NO! NO I DIDN'T! You needed to make yourself feel better!"

"That's not true…"

"Yes it is!" Kagome said frantically, "And I now believe you were only using me to replace Kagura!"

"Lies!"

"Ha! You are so blind to how you feel! I AM KAGOME! Not Kagura not anything or anybody else… Kagome…" She whispered sadly.

And then she ran out of the door, leaving Sesshoumaru wide eyed in the middle of the den floor.

'Is she right? Did I really just need to make myself feel better?'

"You are wrong… you are Kagura. You are."

No she's not… She's Kagome. Sesshoumaru sat down on the couch and grasped his head, his thoughts frantic and blended together.

"She is Kagome…"

Sesshoumaru looked up to see Kagome's mother standing in front of him with an oddly serious look on her normally smiling face. Sesshoumaru looked away…

"I know…"

She laughed gently and said, "Do you?"

Sesshoumaru thought over her words and nodded.

"Yes… I know."

Kagome's mother smiled wisely and said gently, "Well… then go to her. She's very upset."

Sesshoumaru nodded and moved to the door before stopping and turning around, raising a hand in question.

"In her room…"

Smiling he turned around and ran up the stairs towards her room, leaving her mother shaking her head.

"Kids…"

Sesshoumaru knocked gently on Kagome's door and heard sniffling and a mumble of "Who is it?"

Sesshoumaru cleared his throat and said gently, "Kagome… can we talk?"

He heard her sigh and heard her gently padded footsteps as they lead to the door. What he didn't expect was for her to lock the door.

"Kagome?"

"I don't want you in here…"

"But I wanted to talk to you…" He said, bewildered with her actions.

"So talk."

Sesshoumaru smirked. She was so strange.

He listened as she slid down the door and plopped down on the ground, and he squatted near the door and said, "I was wrong… about earlier. I never should have told you that story, and I apologize. And I realize that could never be enough. It's just… hard to say goodbye, when something of more importance takes it's place."

He heard her sniffle and said, "Please don't cry Kagome…"

She stood up, unlocked the door and launched herself into his arms, crying her eyes out into his neck. He sat there a moment before smiling and wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. He buried his face into her hair and inhaled, he breathed in Kagome. He pulled her back and placed little kisses all along her face, one over each closed eyelid, one for her brow, one for her nose, and one for her lips. He smirked and said, "So you like me huh?"

Kagome punched him and shut the door in his face again.

"You're such an ass!"

Sesshoumaru smirked and moved to open the door when she locked it.

"Kagome! Open the door…"

"No!"

"Kagome…"

"No!"

Downstairs Kagome's mother sat smiling to herself. She picked up her duster and started cleaning a bit.

"Kids…"

Hey guys! Hope you liked it! It's not quite what I expected and I'm not sure what to think about it but here it is! R&R!