Read to the very bottom. Love you lots. --Meha
"You and Me...we used to be together. Every day together. Always. I really feel, that I'm losing my best friend. I can't believe this could be the end." No Doubt's "Don't Speak."
And so it was over. Just like that.
Earlier that day...
"You can't be mad at me." Linda just didn't understand why Lily wouldn't look at her, why her cousin—her best friend—kept fidgeting around in the drawers of the redwood desk, and why she kept her head down, never glancing up. She'd been like this all day. She was fine this morning, when the mail came. Lily'd gotten a letter from home, Linda from friends in Paris. And right after breakfast, just like that, Lily was distant and trying to occupy her hand with something, keep herself busy.
Come to think of it, she'd been like this for a while. Distant, preoccupied, distracted. Maybe even sad. Linda wasn't sure.
"No, Lin," Lily replied in a distracted voice, "I am not mad at you. I'm just...annoyed, I guess."
Linda could feel her facial expression turn to surprise and wondered if she looked as shocked as she felt. "At me?"
Lily sniffed. "And other things."
Well, Lily had some nerve being annoyed at her. Just last night, she was hiding in a closet for most of the night with a probably potential killer skulking around outside. She hadn't even a chance to do something wrong. What reason could Lily possibly have to be miffed at her?
"Oh, yeah. Like what?" Linda challenged. Lily was still shuffling around the desk. "Lil, stop it. Look at me," she demanded. "What's going on? Sit, stand still, do something other than fidget, please." Now Linda was the one who was annoyed.
Lily stood still for the slightest moment before shuffling through the desk again. But that moment was long enough for Linda to notice that her cousin was shaking, trembling. "Lily, come here. Sit by me, please." Linda wanted to know what was going on. Lily wasn't easily shaken up. And right now, she looked downright out of her skin.
Her red hair stuck to her face from the tears. Tears? Linda could hardly tell before she had been crying, but upclose, how Lily was sitting near her now, it was all too obvious. "I was mad at you because you weren't here. I needed you to be here."
Linda was flabbergasted, and had an unexplainable guilty twinge. "I-I'm sorry."
Lily scoffed, wiping her hair roughly away from her face. "Don't apologize. Just be here. I-It's all getting so hard. Too hard. And I just got in another fight with—So much has been going on lately and I...I've had no one to talk to about this." Her voice broke."Talk to about what?"
Lily was holding several crumpled letters in her hand, including the latest one from this morning. The edges were wet—from Lily's tears?—and they looked like they'd been crumpled and smoothed out, crumpled and smoothed out, over and over again.
"Lily, tell me. Talk about what?" Linda urged. But Lily's tears just flowed faster, pouring down her puffed cheeks. Her eyes were stained red under the pool of brimming tears, and she looked so tired. She opened her mouth to talk, but only gasps came out. Linda was near freaking out.
Finally, Lily managed out a word. "Read." She pushed the letters into Linda's lap, as she tried to mop up her tears with the edge of her black shirt.
Blindly, Linda opened one of the letters. She read it. She opened the other letters and read those, too. By the end of the second letter, even her own hands were shaking.
"Oh my God, Lily," she whispered, feeling all sorts of guilt, every inch of sorrow for her best friend. "I am so sorry." Wrapping her arms around Lily, she couldn't think of another word to say. Perhaps there weren't any to left to say.
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The boys' dorm was practically empty. The room, for the first time in ages, was relatively clean, everything in its proper place, except for a few trifle items strewn in remote places; a jacket on the back of a chair, a two-way mirrow sitting on the trunk. And there was James. Lying on his bed, back against the headboard. Her picture was in his lap, and he was stroking it absentmindedly. He'd been staring at it for hours, thinking, planning. In his other hand, he was holding her necklace. The one she'd given him ages ago.
In the picture, she was smiling down at him, her face lit up. Lily was standing behind him, her arms wrapped around his neck, her cheek gently touching his. His hands were on hers, and looking at the picture, James missed her. The Lily who used to laugh so easily, the Lily who made his day.
But he had to forget that. Now, all he could remember was what she'd said when he confronted her. She wouldn't speak to him, she hadn't come to him in days, weeks maybe. He missed her. So finally, James asked her what was going on.
"What do you mean, 'what's going on?'" she'd repeated. "James, I don't have time for this, I need to write—"
"Well, make time, Evans," he retorted. She hadn't had any time for too long. Now he wanted to know. Had he done something wrong?
"James, please. I'm busy."
Busy? With what? They took mostly the same classes, and he was Head boy, just like she was head girl. What could she possibly have that was so much more of a load than his?
"Lily, please. I'm begging you," he pleaded. "For the past two weeks or so, you've been growing farther and farther away from me. And at first I thought I was just being paranoid. But now others have begun to notice it. Sirius, Remus, even Amelia and Linda. We're all worried about you."
"I don't need anyone to worry about me, James," she defended, not wanting to be treated like a fragile thing that needed to be looked after. "I'm fine. In fact," she took a deep breath, "I'd like some space. Some time to myself."
What she saying what he thought she was saying? "Just what does that mean?"
Lily for the first time looked him in the eyes. She hadn't been before. Before she'd been shifting her gaze in every direction but his. "Exactly what I said. I really need some time. You take up so much of it, and I need to be...I dunno. I don't know what I want. I just want to be alone for a while. And there's a lot going on, that I need to sort out, and I need to figure out what it means." At this point, he could've sworn she was fighting back tears. "And you can't be a part of that."
What the bloody hell was going on? Where was all of this coming from? Before she'd just been distant, now they were breaking up? Was that even what they were doing?
James had taken a minute to find his tongue, not believing he was even in this situation with Lily. His Lily. "Lil, why are you saying this? Just be honest with me."Lily stood up and he stood up as well, meeting her gaze. "I received a letter from my parents today. The third one I've gotten this month. My parents are getting a divorce. Is that honest enough for you?"
She walked away from him. James couldn't believe it. Any of it. He sat down, and stood up and sat down again. Not sure. But he had to forget that now. He put the happy picture of his ex under his bed. The necklace in a drawer in his nightstand, mixed up with other trifles.And so it was over. Just like that.
I'd like to express my thanks and shoutouts to the following people:
Cpsoccergrl—Oooh, you'll find that out later. I think I'm going to keep you guys on a cliffy there for a little while longer. ::Evil laugh::
Amanda—it's not even funny how much I look forward to your mile-long replies. Seriously, just so wonderful to read. And do NOT guess what's coming next you vixen, or you'll guess right and then I'll have to go change the plot so that everyone doesn't catch on. LoL, love ya lots.
Kaitlyn--::laughs:: You dork. You WOULD laugh when Sirius screamed. LoL. And to find out what "f-head" is after Linda, you'll have to stay tuned a bit longer. ::keeps up the evil laughter bit::
Sam—Aw, you doll. You're the sweetest, always bringing up my ego more than is good for it. LoL.
BlackVanilla—Sneaky Guy. LoL. I love how we just come up with random labels for this guy. Poor thing, I shouldn't even really give him a name now. It'd just be redundant. LoL.
Laurel—Hm. You could be getting warm, or cold with that guess. But My lips are sealed tight, baby. ::Hugs::
Pia—you rock more. And keep on dancin' that dance of yours. Tis getting' really good. LoL.
Kelly—do you know how much it makes my day when you say FRACKY? Just thought I'd let you know. LoL. ::hugs:: :Bribes with cookies:: And I miss talking to you more frequently too! Be online. I'll find you.
Keeks—LoL, to your post. I have a Q: I momentarily forgot where you're from. Where is it again? It's bugging me, and I just can't remember. And I'd like your sn because I'm dying to chat with you.
Missy—A tub of milk and cookies! REALLY???? ::Can't believe it's Christmas already:: I love you! I knew you'd never let me down. ::Hugs::
Thanks to everyone for replying. You all really do make my day, no joke. Love to all. --Meha