Sorry I'm late with this postage. I had a bit of the "block" and was threatened to make my posts longer (Wink wink, Amanda). So...Try not to throw too many tomatos. Kisses. Love ya lots. --Aurora.

"she knew inside a heart is a complicated thing
you cannot treat it like a baby
you cannot treat it like a king
what in the hell do you treat it like
defeated like you see it like you don't understand." –Megan Slankard

Three days later.

Linda poured the liquid into the flask. Slowly...slowly...

"Linda."

She jumped at the unexpected voice, the interruption causing her to pour far too much scarab beetle juice into the Exploding Fluid. "Uh...oh—"

Whoever it was that had spoken had instantly put a protective arm over Linda and they both ducked as fast they possibly could underneath the table. That's when the potion exploded. She could hear it, even though she'd clasped her hands tightly over her hears. Finally, Linda, and whoever had pulled her under, emerged into a smoky fog, the aftermath of the explosion.

The Potions professor was storming her way. Aw jeez. She closed her eyes. How humiliating.

"Thirty points from Gryffindor, Ms. Linley. Perhaps you can remember for next time," he drawled, in a voice loud enough for the whole class to hear, loud enough for Linda to turn pink, "that Potions is a precise science and not an area that has any room for your carelessness. Clean this mess up." The professor walked away, his back turned to her, so that he didn't get the chance to see the curse she mouthed at him.

She turned to the table, which was a mess, and winced. Shit, what had happened? Linda looked for a rag or something to mop the fizzing up. But what she would do about that blasted hole in the table...there probably wasn't a sponge big enough to fix that.

"Wow, er—Linda, I'm really sorry," said the voice again, the one who had interrupted her. She nearly forgot about that. It was a guy's voice, coming from behind her. She glanced back to face him.

"Oh. Thaniel. Hi," Linda smiled weakly. Thaniel was also a seventh year Gryffindor, and was in three of Linda's classes, but Potions was not one of them. He looked sincerely sorry, which calmed her anger at him, and at an attempt at lightness, she said, "Don't worry about it. The professor hates me anyway, so no love lost."

He smiled, showing his perfect white teeth, and brushed his dark hair out of his eyes. "Well, I can't imagine him, or anyone actually, hating anything about you."

"Thanks," Linda said, not just thanking him for the compliment. It had just occurred to her that he'd tried to protect her when the potion exploded, which was actually sweet. "So, what can I help you with? You don't take this class, y'know."

Thaniel smiled again, taking his hand out of his pocket and coming over to the table to help clean. "Yes, I know. I was actually going to ask you where Lily was. She promised to lend me her notes for the Charms midterm coming up, and explain them to me. I'm utterly lost in that class."

"Oh, I don't know about that, Thaniel. You're not completely without charm," Linda innocently flirted. And he smiled again. Damn, that was one nice smile. "And Lily...I think she's writing a letter, but I can tell her you're looking for her. I'm going back to the tower after this class, as it is."

He thanked her, and with another one of those flashing smiles, he went to the Library, where he told Linda to tell Lily he'd be in case she decided she had time to swing by to study.

Linda sighed, tucked back a lock of golden brown hair behind her ear, and looked at the still only half-cleaned up mess of sorts on the tabletop. She was about to restart her potion, and then quickly abandoned the attempt. Ah, screw it, she thought.

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It's getting too hard to work through, darling.

That one line kept running over and over again in Lily's mind. How stupid her parents were. Nothing worth having was going to be easy to hold on to. They could have fought harder. They could try counseling again. They could've...but they wouldn't.

The first letter hadn't really mentioned anything that would've told Lily to worry about anything. Her mother and father had just mentioned that they were going out of town—to England's countryside, a sort of romantic getaway she supposed, for just the two of them.

It wasn't until the second letter she had realized the trip was an attempt to save their marriage. In that letter, her mother had dropped indirect hints that all were not well in camp. A cornicopia of emotions jumped off the page, ones Lily couldn't ignore. Her mother, Rose, had shown a bit of bitterness (she'd written, "and the house is so empty without you home, and Petunia away at university, and your father out more often now, and later than usual without telling me, but that's besides the point..."). Her mother had suggested that they were growing apart ("All's great here at home. I think your father is on his way to getting promoted at the firm, though I wouldn't know for sure, he hardly tells me anything anymore...").

And the third letter was the clincher. Where everything fell apart. Her father had written this one, and tried to say everything as delicately as possible, Lily could tell. He'd said that though they tried to work on their marriage, tried...everything they could think of...it just wasn't meant to be. That they were growing apart, and growing as people. Though they still loved each other, they weren't in love with each other, not anymore. And though he and she might have grown apart now, they would never trade the lives they shared together for anything in the world.

The third letter had come in three days ago. And Lily had cried every night since.

She knew what she wanted more than anything in the world right now. She wanted James. She wanted him to hold her in his arms, to keep her safe and tell her everything was going to be alright. To kiss her hair like he did sometimes, and press her to his chest where she'd listen to the steady, strong beating of his heart. She wanted to be wrapped up in him where everything made sense, where she was safe, until they both fell asleep next to each other, and all her problems would be forced to wait until the morning.

But she couldn't have what she wanted.

Lily had broken up with James, a notion she herself wasn't quite sure she'd registered. Something had changed between them lately. She could no longer tell how he felt, not the way she used to. She was getting distracted, she was willing to admit, and he just seemed busy. Was this how 'growing apart' worked?

If it was, then Lily believed she was right to break up with James. She knew if they stayed together, they would just end up like her parents. Madly in love once, only to let the fire slowly blend into the shadows, then extinguished in the dark.

She convinced herself she wasn't in the right place at the moment to be in a relationship; being with someone was a lot of work, and took time and effort—two things she didn't have right now. Between her parents' doomed relationship, her falling-apart-family, schoolwork, midterms, tutoring, Head Girl duties (planning parties/dances, setting standards, etc.), friends, and Merlin knew what else...something just had to give. And she was sorry to say it, but it had to be James.

She needed him as a friend right now, not another obligation, another distraction. Not a the future reason of her broken heart. Lily was a mess of emotions right now, and didn't think she had any more to spare.

She felt it was the right thing to do. Focus on herself and her...life, for now at least. But that didn't help the fact that she still missed him.

She shook her head, her red hair falling out of its style, and framing her face. Enough stalling. She attached the letter she'd written to her parents to the white owl's leg.

---------------

The door opened, her cousin walked in. "Hey Lils," Linda greeted carefully. "How are you feeling?" She asked it like how a doctor would ask a four year old about her tummy ache.

Lily exhaled. "Lin, come on. No patronizing."

"Sorry."

"And I'll be fine. I just sent a letter home." Lily took a bite of red licorice, licorice she kept in a stash next to her bed.

Linda put her books on the desk, giving her Potions text an extra glare than usual, then turned to Lily. "You did? Yeesh. What'd you write?"

Lily took another bite of licorice. Did she want to talk about it right now? "I think I'm going to go to the Library to study," she changed the subject, deciding that No, she didn't want to talk about the letter or what she'd written.

Linda settled on her bed with it's purple satin-quilted comforter and three-foor brown teddy bear. "Oh, good thing you're going that way. I ran into Thaniel before; he mentioned something about you giving him notes for Charms. He's in the library, too."

Lily nodded her thanks, grabbed some notes and books, straightened herself up, and set out for the library.

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"Whatchya doin'?"

Linda was occupying the window seat in the Common Room, where she was reading Bram Stoker's Dracula. At the sound of the voice, she looked up, into a pair of rakish, mischievious, fathomless colored eyes.

"Hi, Sirius," she greeted with a smile. "Um, nothing. Just reading."

He sat across from her, and grabbed the book out of her hands to glance at the title. "Reading, Linney? And it's not even required material. Have I taught you nothing?"

Linda took back her book and tried to resume reading, which turned out to be an impossible feat with Sirius Black staring at you, obviously wanting to say something, and waiting for you to give him the chance. Linda gave in. "What?"

"I'm bored," he relaxed in the chair, leaning it back on its two hind legs. "Would you like to keep me company?" Sirius asked, coming off completely playful.

Linda raised her brow at him. "Where's everyone else?"

Sirius, rolling his sleeves halfway on his arms, replied, "I dunno. All busy. James is moping about, though I can't blame him. Poor guy's been like this for three days: wrinkled shirt, undone tie, messier hair than usual... And Remus is...well, y'know." He gestured out window. Linda looked out at the night sky, and the first thing she noticed was the full moon.

Linda put down her book. Sure, why not? She could read anytime. "What did you have in mind?"

Sirius leaned forward, all four legs of the chair back on the floor. "Oh, I'm sure we can find something fun to do."

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Aurora's Final Thoughts...

Kaitlyn—you can say whatever curses you'd like in the reviews. It actually makes it more amusing. ::Giggles:: I was laughing at your obsession over Sirius—he wasn't even in that batch of posts. LoooL. Luv ya.

Keeks—Canadian! Just like my Kaitlyn up there. The Land of blueberry farms, Anne of Green Gables, and Celine Dion. Wicked. LoL. And you never know, James may wear the necklace again. ::winks::

Kirsten—thanks for bumping/reviewing! Do I have your email? Sorry, I just kinda want every L2Ber's email, and wanted to make sure you're on the list.

April—I'd like to know what the whole Goldfish thing was about. LoL. Dork. Evil? Me? NEVER! ::Mwahahaha's echo in the background:: You'll be seeing more of James now, if my outline for the story pans out.

Lyr942—Pie!? Mmmmmmmm! Thanks! Oh, wait...I have to put them back together for the pie? ::Thinks:: I'll see what I can do. ::Really wants the pie::

Pia—Gasp! You kiss your mother with that mouth? LoooL. J/k. Nice to know you're not going to kill me over sad postage, that you actually like it. ::Hugs:: You rock.

Sam—Aw, I love you, too! ::Hugs::

Kelly—I will make it my life's mission to find a guy who will call you "His Kelly" at least once a day. Dammit. You hear me? It WILL happen for you. Love ya lots.

Missers—Hey! I would NEVER take away a cookie. LoL I can't believe you even "forgot" about the whole Sirius/Amelia thing because of the Breakup. That blew me away. Oh, and that's it! Be on line Wednesday night. It's been too long since I've talked to you, dammit.

Megz—Don't even worry about it, hun! Just as long as I see you even occasionally is good enough. Thanks for the review! ::Gives cookie::

Amanda—You. I tried so hard to make this postage long for you. FOUR pages on word, which probably isnt anything to most , but to me who only wrote a page for posts on the boards, four pages is blood, sweat and tears work. I couldn't sleep because I'm like "Gotta write more for Amanda, she'll find me if I don't." Well, hope you're HAPPY. LoL. Had me doin' word count and jazz. And I'm even making the next batch of posts longer, if I can. ::Gives cookie:: You push me, toots. Loved the sn.

Vick—LoL, you're freakouts are hilarious. Always have me laughing for many minutes. ::Hugs with cookies and milk:: You sweetheart, you.

Thanks for all who reviewed, or even to those you just read. Love all of you lots. ....Feeney.