(For those of my readers who've stuck by me, know that I LOVE YOU GUYS and there were too many things that stood in my way while i tried to write this chapter. i'm so happy i've finally been allowed to continue this!)
Last Chapter: Say Goodbye to Innocence...
This Chapter Title: ...And Say Hello to Guilty Pleasures.
Whenever someone—and you know this is true—in a position of influence (whether it's a leader, a brother, or just a friend) who should always speak in truths, suddenly decides to keep a secret, it is never a good idea. One who is usually honest is only treading on dangerous grounds the moment one decides to go against one's honest nature and keep a secret instead. But sometimes she doesn't know what else to do.
Secrets are kept for reasons a person always keeps to themselves. Some reasons are cloaked in loyalty and devotion, or a noble desire to prevent a drama. But the reason—the real reason—a person will keep a secret is selfish. They do it out of fear. Fear of what she might lose. Fear of who will be angry with her. Fear of what chaos would erupt if the secret that should never have been was spoken aloud. Her blind panic kept her silent, and she feared (as she had every right to) that every moment passed in peace was a small price to pay for a little bit of hell later. But what could she do, really? It was too late to say anything now, and it was only getting later. Maybe things would change. She was being selfish. Maybe.
And because of this, Linda hardly slept at night.
She opened her eyes again, for the twentieth time tonight. At least this time she'd actually managed a full three hours of sleep at once. Linda craned her neck to look outside the window. Practically sunrise. She tried to force herself back to sleep, but when one's head won't stop its thinking, sleep can't come so easily.
Each night, when she couldn't sleep, Linda made up her mind to just tell her. Maybe then she could have peace of mind. Both herself and Amelia. Linda figured, I'll be able to sleep, and Amelia might be able to move on. I should just tell her about what Reg said. About what I know about him.
But it's been so long since he told you. She'll hate you for taking so long. Never trust you. Would you trust her if she'd done this to you? No you wouldn't. You'd think 'If she kept this from me, what else does she know that I don't?
Linda's honey-brown eyes opened again. She was exhausted, but couldn't do anything about it. Her mind—well, actually her guilt—wouldn't turn off. When she saw Amelia unhappy and checking for letters from Reg…she knew she could do something about it. Just tell her. But she always stopped herself. And each day that passed, it was only getting later.
Amelia checked for owls every morning at breakfast in the Great Hall. It had been more than a month since they'd gotten back to school. Lily was still in her distant mood—and James was still trying to break her shell. Linda and Sirius tried—yet failed—to ignore each other (seemed to prove more than difficult considering they were apart of the same House, same group of friends, and shared more than a few classes together). Remus tried not to notice the changes in their behavior. And Amelia kept…checking the mail. Day after day. Waiting for a letter…a short note…an explanation. Or maybe just a scrap piece of a gum wrapper, with nothing but I'm safe scrawled on it. Each day she searched and waited, and each day she left to classes empty-handed.
"It's not Monday," one of her friends—Lily or Sirius, perhaps—would say.
"I know…" she'd respond in a questioning tone, like she didn't know what the implication was. Of course it wasn't Monday.
"It's just that you're looking up, as if for mail. But there isn't any, of course. Not for another five days, at least. Or did you forget?" No. She didn't. But she thought maybe one owl might come, with one letter.
She fell in love. He broke her heart. What an over-done love story, she'd think to herself, remembering countless books she'd read with an abandoned heroine who searches and awaits her lost love. BULL was what it was. Yet Amelia…still needed to know. Though she hated herself for it, a part of her still loved Reg no matter how hard she tried to squeeze that part out of her mind and heart. But since she couldn't, that very part needed to know why he really left his life, left her.
Amelia was afraid she'd be stuck like this forever. In love with a man, a boy (she wasn't sure which he was. A boy, a man. Sometimes he was both) who left her and would never return. It was hard to imagine her forty-year-old self sitting in her living room alone, still thinking of him when he probably had his own beloved, more perfect wife and family. It was hard to imagine, but not impossible. She did hate herself for loving him.
---
Lily rolled her green eyes at the sight of Amelia, lovesick and heartbroken. What pipe dreams. She tossed her napkin down on the breakfast table and stood to leave. He was waiting for her, they all were. Quick-fix, you could call it, before a long day of classes.
"Where ya off to?" Remus asked by way of an afterthought, as he bit down on a piece of toast.
"Just got something to do before class, that's all." She grabbed her sack. She tried not to notice James glaring at her. Because he knew. Not that he knew, but he at least understood that something was being kept from him, and that fact made him more than a little sharp with Lily.
"Oh yeah?" Remus looked up at the redhead teasingly, in one of his lighter moods this morning. His voice was light but there was a hint of a dangerous knowing-ness to it, knowing how to ask just the right accusing question in the most casual, un-accusing tone, and a smile on his face to match. "Who with?"
Lily didn't feel like making up a lie and didn't see the reason why to anyhow. "I'll be late meeting Thaniel." She knew James was fighting back the urge to say something.
Sirius's expression was absolutely wicked yet somehow subdued. "Tango in the broom closet before class? Please, don't let us keep you."
As she walked away from the table, she'd not taken three steps before hearing James finally say, "Him, again?"
She didn't turn to face him. "He's my friend, why shouldn't I see him?"
There was a shuffle behind her—he'd gotten up from the table as well—and James brushed by her only pausing to say, "It's not him I give a damn about, it's you. And I don't like the way you are after you've seen him." He left the Great Hall so fast from her, a couple of nearby students were now watching Lily, wondering what the recent commotion was about, why James Potter was in a rage, and watched her now wondering if she—that girl who's mum had recently died in some freak murder, they said—was going to cry.
Lily scoffed, not satisfying anyone, and walked casually out of the Hall as well.
"You're late, Evans."
"I'm here, aren't I?" she sat down, taking her place on the floor in the small circle. Thaniel sat next to her, as always. Then it was Robert Kingston and Cecily Beaton, both from Ravenclaw. Last, Victor Cobriana, the only Slytherin. They were the only five people in the room of requirement.
"Better late," said Robert groggily, as if he himself had just woken up, "than never."
"Oh please," Cecily rolled her eyes, her blonde hair in curls today. "Don't worry, Lily, you're not that late. We only just got here ourselves."
"Let's start already," came Victor, his blank expression never wavering.
They all began the spell, muttering the words they now knew by heart. After a few seconds, Lily's mind began to blur (this is how she knew it was working).
Lily remembered when she first came here. She'd been in quite the strop, as she had been ever since the funeral so long ago, and wasn't paying attention when she'd bumped into Thaniel. She'd nearly forgotten about him; the two of them hadn't talked since towards the beginning of the school year and if she hadn't been feeling like hell, she might've felt his awkwardness a bit more. At that moment, she couldn't have cared less.
"Lily, h-hi," Thaniel spoke as if he wasn't sure what words were going to come out. Lily'd been used to it since she returned to school. It's gotten around pretty fast what had happened to her mother over the holidays, and everyone either avoided her or tried to offer condolences without knowing what to say; she didn't blame them, but she would've rather have had everyone stop reminding her.
She had smiled weakly at him, and started to walk away without a word when she heard him say to her, "It's been too long since we've spent any time together, don't you think so?"
Lily turned back to him. He continued. "Could we meet later?"
"I have to see how much classwork I have." She hadn't felt like making a date with him and just wanted to be alone, like usual.
But he wasn't fazed. "If you don't have too much, meet me in the astronomy tower, right? Alright, anyway, I'll be there around eight o'clock tonight and will be there for most of the night if you feel like coming up. I got to go and I can see you do, too, so I'll see you tonight?"
She just shrugged in response. Somehow, he took it as a Yes, and rushed down the hall for his next class.
Lily didn't know why, but she did end up meeting him that night. At first, they just sort of shifted uncomfortably, not really speaking. Or rather, Thaniel tried to start conversations, but she was the one who would find a way to end it shortly, by either looking through the telescope, or pretending she hadn't heard him, or just answering his questions as curtly as possible. But as the night went on, Lily found herself easing into conversation, and even smiling at some of Thaniel's jokes. It was as close to normal as she'd been in a long time.
And just like how she had opened up to him once about her parents' divorce (she nearly laughed through tears remembering how the Divorce was the most awful thing in her life. If only she had known what was still to come…), she opened up to him about other things. Not completely—she didn't think she'd ever retell and relive the entire thing over again to anyone ever—but it was more than she'd said since she'd spoken to James at the Wake. Lily told Thaniel about so many of her feelings, the drain she'd been experiencing (even on her magic), how she couldn't see herself getting over this, even how she missed her mother. She didn't know why she was opening up suddenly. Maybe, she thought, it was because it's sometimes easier to say something to someone who doesn't know you that well. And it wasn't the first time she'd run to Thaniel. When the divorce first happened, he'd really helped her find a new perspective on things, and tried to help her through it, discussing how his own parents had been separated. Maybe he could help her now.
After listening to her talk for hours, he did offer help. But not the kind Lily had been expecting, or hoping for. No, he offered something which she thought to be infinitely better. "I know you miss her," he told her, looking her straight in the eye in a no-nonsense-kind-of-way, "and you always will. It might always hurt, but as time passes, it won't hurt as much. You can always come to me if you want to talk, or not talk, or need help with anything, Evans. But remember that you just need to time, like everyone always does."
With that said, Thaniel sat up straighter, yet relaxed a bit in his shoulders. "So you say you feel a drain in your magic? Now that's something I might be able to help you with. You know…to keep you busy until that time you need passes. Meet me on the seventh floor, across from the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, tomorrow morning before classes."
And the next morning, she did meet him. He introduced her to the three other people she was sitting in a circle with now. Robert, Cecily, and Victor. "See, Evans, me and Robert here found this one spell and it can only be done with other wizards or," he gestured to Lily herself, "witches; a sort of group spell, you see. And it's brilliant."
"What is it for?"
He looked like he was so happy she'd asked. "It gives your magic a boost."
She just blinked at him. "A boost?" she repeated, as if it was the stupid thing she'd ever heard.
"If done properly, it enhances your power. It doesn't give you any power you don't already have, it just…" he tried to find the words, and then said, "it just raises you to your full potential. Some wizards are more powerful than they know, only they weren't trained to explore all the aspects of their power, so they'll never know how to tap into it and use it." He was speaking excitedly, and she could tell he'd put a lot of faith into this spell. "It's like how we only use ten percent of our brains, and we'll never know how to get to the other ninety percent. But this way, we help each other to become aware and use all of our power."
"What are the side-effects?" Lily asked suspiciously. Why had she never heard of this spell? But then she remembered Thaniel's knack for getting into the Forbidden Books section.
"There are none," he replied, but she could almost hear the 'that I know of' in his voice. "Only thing is the spell is temporary. It only works for a day, then you have to perform it again." He pulled her to the side, so the others couldn't hear. "You don't have to be apart of this if you don't want to. I just thought with what you said last night…about feeling withdrawn and suspecting your magic to be pretty beat, that maybe this would be the thing for you."
Without hesitating, she joined. And every morning after a quick breakfast but before classes, she went to the seventh floor.
Now, sitting on the floor in this unknowable room surrounded by her new collaborators, Lily's mind began to clear again. The connection between the five broke, and Lily instantly felt…happy. Powerful. Strong. Smart. Sharp. As if she had all the energy in the world, and nothing or no one could hold her back.
Gryffindor Common Room—midday—during a break between classes.
Linda walked up to where Sirius held court, her voice nearly catching in her throat. He was sitting with James and a few other gryffindors sat around them as they all chatted about the upcoming Quidditch match or some such nonsense. She hovered just out of the group; she didn't quite know how to get his attention without being too obvious. Was it too late to turn back? she wondered. Yep, too late. He already spotted her. Spotted her standing back and staring at him, at least.
Sirius muttered a quick 'later, mate' to James and swung off the couch he'd been sitting on. He caught up to Linda and jammed his hands in his pockets. Linda was almost disappointed. She could remember back before their little 'almost-affair' ever happened, back when they were just friends; Sirius would usually greet her with a kiss on the cheek or something. An absolute flirt—especially with her—he'd do little things like push her hair back from her face, hug her, or just spend time with her. Now, he kept his hands where she couldn't see them: behind his back or in his pockets, and made sure to keep his distance in case a touch sent her the wrong message. Oh, heaven forbid.
He opened his mouth to speak—she cut him off, before he could say Hello. "We need to talk," she said flatly, not knowing what she was doing—or if she should even be doing it. But the thought was there in her head, plaguing her. Just say something, she kept thinking. Maybe if you tell him, it all won't be so bad. She pulled Sirius into his empty dorm room. She turned to him now, taking a deep breath, trying to muster up as much courage as possible. She noticed when she turned to him just then how his sultry brown eyes looked at her. Confused, but interested. She noticed those eyes boldly taking her in…and how his jaw was strong…
Stop that, Linda inwardly chastised. This is no time for that. She had to focus, even if his bottom lip was perfectly shaped and—STOP it.
"What did you want to tell me?" Sirius asked, his hands now behind his back (oh, what a shock), and a hint of amusement in his voice. He probably thought Linda was just Crying Wolf or something, as some desperate attempt to get him alone with her. How humiliating.
"First," she tried to say steadily, but she was sure it was going to come out all in a rush even though she'd practiced everything she'd wanted to say, "I want you to promise you won't hate me; I wouldn't be able to handle that." When Sirius gave her an odd look, but agreed, she had to fight the urge to bolt. Because she couldn't. "I should've told you—told everyone—along time ago. But… I couldn't. I couldn't. And if I repeated it, it would just make what he told me real, and I didn't want it to be real—" was it just her, or was her voice shaky? "Because I didn't want to believe it. I just kept hoping it wasn't true. Besides, who could I have told, really? Who would have believed me? It was such a story—he only told me parts of it anyway, there are still a lot of holes so that none of it makes any sense really—"
Sirius stopped her; she realized she was running on, talking nonsense. "Wait," he said, in his always unruffled, calm voice. "Who's 'he'?"
"Reg, of course."
"What? What do you mean OF COURSE? Wait—so, Reg told you something? When?"
"He told me," Linda said, looking down, up, left right. Away. No way was she going to face anyone—face him, "that he was going to try to get out."
"When did you speak to Regulus?"
"I didn't know what was going to happen. Sirius, believe me."
"After he left? Before? Linda, when? Before he disappeared or after?"
"Before." She couldn't read his eyes, his face. He was just so Sirius about it. Poker-faced and unreadable.
"How long before? Before Christmas?"
"Before…we even left school for holiday break."
"Linda, that was over month ago," Sirius looked at her; she was practically shaking. "You tell Amelia?"
Linda shook her head, and now her voice was definitely breaking, though she was trying hard to keep it composed. "She'd hate me. Lily, too."
Sirius rubbed his neck. "Depends on what he said. What you kept from us."
And Linda told him. Not much, however, since there wasn't too much to tell. Reg really hadn't told her anything too concrete. Just short of enough. Linda told Sirius about how Reg was part of a group of followers of this new Voldemorte character. How he'd told her that he was planning on getting out, and that he might be gone for a while to do just that. How Reg was sure something big was going to happen; only he didn't say what. And how Lily's headaches were more than just headaches.
Sirius was sitting, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. Rubbing his face, he managed to whisper, "My stupid brother."
"It's not all his fault—"
"The hell it isn't." Sirius could hide a lot of his emotions sometimes, but the rage he was feeling now…there was no hiding it. "He joins their lot, and helps them commit all the things that make us afraid to even open the Daily Prophet anymore, and when he supposedly sees the error of his ways, he doesn't do anything about it?"
"He did do something. He came to me."
"Lot of good that did," Sirius spat.
That one sentence was like a punch in her gut. And it was true. But worse off, it was exactly what she was afraid he'd say. He hated her, and she knew it was entirely her fault. Her cowardice, her silence.
----
The minute he'd said it, he was actually sorry. Sirius bit his lip in anger, and looked up at Linda. She looked the definition of shamed. Usually she was extraordinarily pretty, and put together. But he could tell now that she was…tired. Her hair lacked its usual bounce; her face looked drained and tired. Like she'd been beating herself up about this. It was obvious that it'd taken a lot of guts for her to say what she did, and finally admit to it.
Sirius stood and walked over to her, bending his head down slightly to look at her. Even now, with those bags under her eyes, he couldn't help but think that she was stunning. "I'm sorry." He pulled her into a strong hug, rubbing her back. "You didn't deserve that."
She nodded helplessly against his shoulder, implying Yes, she did.
"I'm glad you told me," he spoke softly to her now, hoping to calm her. Why Reg would tell Linda of all people (Linda, who actually made no secret of her dislike for the Other Black Brother) this huge burden, Sirius still didn't understand. Maybe because, out of all the people connected to Amelia, she was the safest bet. Maybe. He wished Linda had never had this damn secret to keep. It wasn't for her. He wished he could've kept her from this.
He stepped back a bit from her and gave her face an appraisal. "You look a right bloody wreck." He smiled. She let out a sound that was halfway between a sob and a chuckle.
"Shut up," she smiled, too, in spite of herself, and instinctively tried to neaten and pull her hair back.
"You haven't even been sleeping much, have you?"
She tried not to redden, but one can not help such things, she thought. Did she really look that much of a fright? "No, I haven't really."
"We ought to fix that, don't you think?" he suggested, guiding her to his bed near the window.
Linda sniffed. Now? "But I have class next—"
"We'll skip them."
---
Okay…time passes…
Linda slept a bit more soundly as long as Sirius stayed with her. Her body relaxed alongside his, her head against his shoulder. From time to time, he'd hear her gasp, and look down to see her beginning to wake up, as if startled. In her unsettling sleep, she'd sometimes pull away from him. Sirius stroked back her light brown hair, and smiled comfortingly. "Go back to bed," he spoke softly, and pulled her closer to him.
Linda woke up again, a few undisturbed hours later, in Sirius's arms. Smiling to herself, remembering that he'd brought her here to his dormroom to rest. She wasn't used to sleeping next to guys in general (the thought alone would've had her nervously biting her nails down to the cuticle or breaking out into hives), but with Sirius...it was so natural. She nestled her body nearer to his, and her cheek against the warmth of his neck.
"Hey," he whispered to her, as sleep hung around him almost alluringly. He wore every thing, every expression with such charm. Sirius was even charming when he was groggy and half-awake.
"I didn't mean to wake you."
He looked down at her, their faces only inches apart. "Don't worry about it. Did you sleep well?"
Linda nodded, returning his always-enchanting smile. Sirius was looking after her, and this bit of knowledge gave Linda a delightful little squirm in her stomach, pleased that he…well, cared. He'd kept trying ignore her before, avoid her ever since they'd kissed, out of some loyalty towards Remus. This irked her to no end, seeing as how she and Remus had both moved on months ago, and there really was nothing else standing in her and Sirius's way to see if this….friendship? feeling? spark? Out-of-nowhere fling?...would lead to anything bigger.
What made it harder to be this annoying "just friends" thing was that Linda, well, rather liked being this physically close to him. Harder than even that, she was sure she was addicted to the feel of him. And the way he'd kiss her….she was almost sure he still wanted her. Maybe. She hoped.
Abruptly, she was brought out of her stupor of thought when she felt Sirius's hand slide onto her hip, pulling her even closer against him. He was propped up on an elbow, looking at her as if nothing was wrong. As if his hand wasn't ON HER HIP, pulling her practically on him. She couldn't even think straight. Not that this wasn't something she hadn't thought about, but maybe she was more than a little surprised to learn that he had, too.
Damn that tempting smile of yours, Black. Right now, they were in the most compromising of positions. So close, and just a little more to go. He was even leaning in towards her, his lips so inviting and wicked.
But a stupid, nagging, questioning and curious part of her gut pulled away. She pulled back the comforter, got out of the bed, and stood away from it, leaving a poor stunned Sirius lying there alone.
"Why?" Linda blurted out, not sure what she was even asking. She stuck her hand out in front of her, like a crossing guard signaling STOP.
Sirius, sitting up, looked at her incredulously and absolutely confused. "What?"
She needed to think. What was that nagging part of her trying to say? Why does he want to kiss you now? So he can pull back later, like he did before? Because you happened to be there, in his bed, and it was convenient? What about all that blither-blather about Remus being his best mate, and how he could never do that to him? Where did all those righteous words that he slapped in your face go? He can't keep doing that; kissing you and then saying "Oops, never mind."
"Why were you about to kiss me?"
Sirius looked almost embarrassed now. Well, who wouldn't? A person doesn't just throw themselves out there so that they can be put on the spot. But she was determined to know. "I just—"
"What? Thought that you could do it because I happened to be here? You can't do that, Sirius. You can't keep making me want you and then pull back—" Oh God, did she just admit to wanting him? Linda was sure she was blushing a million times over. It's one thing for him to pretty much know that little fact; it's an entirely different thing to admit it so plainly like that. She wasn't sure this talk was going the way she wanted. Where's a time-turner when you need one?
He jumped out of the bed and faced her now, rising to his full height challengingly. "And you can't just come to me out of the blue and tell me something like that without me being affected by it."
Wait, she thought to herself. I think I missed something. "Something like what? You mean what I told you about Reg?"
He stepped up, holding her firmly by the shoulders. "Why did you tell me, Linda? Why not tell Amelia, your best friend? Or Lily—your family! Or Remus, who you know would have stepped up and helped you if you wanted him to? Or James, who always has a clear head about everything? And why, after not being able to sleep a full night for ages, can you sleep so well beside me?"
She was at a loss for words. "W-well…I mean, Amelia I couldn't tell…she would hate me for it and there's, you know…And Lily, too, she's got her own problems to deal with right now. I didn't tell the others because…well, I…" she shrugged and simply said, "I dunno," Sirius kept his hold and gaze on her, still waiting for a real answer. She didn't know what to tell him. So instead she shouted again at him, "I don't know!"
"Fine!" he shouted back just as loudly. "Forget why you didn't tell them. Why did you tell me?"
"Because, I trust you, and I mean…" Earlier, everything had sounded so clear in her head. Now, everything was muddled up, and words flowed out of her mouth like a river of nonsense.
He was still for an answer. "Because," she finally said, letting out a calming breath to control her frustration. "I just wanted to."
Sirius kissed her without missing a beat, and she had the sudden sensation falling, but being caught at the same time. Like riding down a steep roller coaster, feeling the thrill of danger yet knowing you're completely safe.
His hands slipped from her arms—one fell down to the small of her back and the other just behind her neck, beneath her hair. She felt him tighten his hold on her, almost afraid of letting go.
The kiss, which started out sort of intense and fast, was now sweetly slowing down. Linda felt his chest rise against hers; they were both somehow out of breath. She found herself pulling away, and he—with very obvious refusal at first— finally let her.
"What," her voice was a strange whisper, more out-of-breath than soft and quiet, "are you doing?"
His rakish smile broke out like he couldn't help it. "I'm not sure just yet." He pulled her back to him. "But I'll let you know." His lips hovered near her own, but didn't—wouldn't—touch them. Sirius slid his hand just beneath the hem of her shirt, and placed it on her waist, just below the bottom of her ribs. She half-expected his hand to…well, travel, but it didn't go either up (to more, er, mountainous regions) or even down. It just stayed there, on the side of her waist, while he just looked down at her. Then she realized he wasn't trying to "get further" or be too bold. It was just about touching her skin, being in contact. He just wanted to be close. And his mouth was just a touch away from hers, if only he'd…
He pulled his face away from hers, leaving a few inches between them, so that he could catch her gaze instead. But she had a hard time looking into those sultry eyes of his… so full of mystery. A world she didn't know. At least if we kissed, she thought, then I'd know what to do. But this gazing at her…it was like he could see her. All of her. She felt completely bare. And his hand under her shirt probably didn't help much either.
Sirius placed his other hand at the back of her neck, and let it slide down to the bend between her throat and collarbone. What frustration! Here he was, in the perfect position to kiss her again, and Linda couldn't understand why he was just LOOKING at her. Then she noticed his eyes break their gaze and flicker for a second or two down to her lips. Here they were: she could feel the heat from his hands against her skin, there was no space between them as he held her against him, and he was practically undressing her with his eyes…
"Just kiss me," Linda demanded softly. The slightest of smiles tugged at his full lips, so close to her own. That prick. He was teasing her.
Not liking being teased at all, she began to pull away. Didn't get far though, because just as she took a step back, he let out a laugh and pulled her back against him.
His lips were on hers again, and she was more than receptive. She wanted this, and he finally let himself want it, too. No more games. And the more time they let pass like this, the harder it was to stop.
They were moving along fast…maybe even too fast. He couldn't stop; she wouldn't let him, the passionate current between them practically electrifying them into submission. She didn't let go, he held on too tight. After a few more rounds of this, Linda (being a girl who always knew what she wanted. And, now, she wanted Sirius) loosened his tie, and began undoing some of the buttons on his shirt. He responded by doing the same to hers. She could've screamed out loud at the feel of his hand traveling down her front, unbuttoning her top. Ok, she was sure—there was no turningbacknow. As soon as they'd discarded both items, Linda and Sirius sort of pulled each other towards his bed, as if with the same thought.
Falling back on the bed, Linda had no intention of stopping now. Somewhere in her head a voice, lost in the backshelves of her mind where common sense and superego rested at the moment, thought all of this was perhaps too fast, almost mad, and that in a more abstemious moment she would've stopped long before this point. It told her that she shouldn't, but she couldn't help it. Sirius was like her own guilty pleasure in a way. And that voice, that thought, was all but deafened, and Linda couldn't even hear it anymore.
They drew the curtains around the four-poster, and no one thought to disturb them for quite some time.
--
I've already started the next chapter, and hopefully it'll be up soon. Read & Reply. My love to you. xoxo.