Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings (duh)

I love the movies and haven't read the books.

One-shot fic. Read it carefully. My friends thought it was hilarious so I'm publishing this. One of my friends is in love with Legolas, so she kind of got mad at me about pairing him off and…well, I shouldn't give away too much! R&R please! (And I don't care if you have problems with my grammar or spelling or whatever. I DON'T CARE! I just wrote this for fun.)

Warning: If you cannot withstand humor and making fun of some of the characters of LOTR, do not read this and don't flame or blame me when you don't like it.

Legolas and Her

Aragorn stared into Arwen's eyes. Legolas looked very disgusted.

"Ugh. I think I'll be sick," he said to himself.

He fell asleep and had the strangest dream. He was practicing his archery on a target. Suddenly, a green-eyed lady appeared and said to him in a girly voice, "Why hello, Legolas. I appeared to have lost my way. Will you guide me, gracious elf?"

"How do you know my name?" he asked, not-so-graciously. He looked around him at the forest. Aragorn and Arwen were nowhere in sight.

"My name is Zeneta and I am Arwen's childhood friend. I have come for her and her husband's wedding."

Legolas paused to consider this for a while. He saw that she had a sword. He said, "Well, they're just around the corner rolling around like a pair of orcs. I'm sure you wouldn't want to see that."

Zeneta blinked. "Perhaps not. I shall come back another time. When does the wedding start?"

"Hopefully never," Legolas muttered.

"What was that?"

"I said 'better now than ever'," Legolas told her. He turned pink. "I mean… In a minute…"

"In that case, I think I should stay. Maybe I'll watch you on the target. I bet I'm better than you," Zeneta said mildly.

Legolas looked outraged. "Surely not!"

Zeneta took his bow and arrows from him. "Are you insulting me?"

"Yes, I am!"

She shot an arrow ad it pinned his hair to the target. Legolas grabbed her sword and cut his hair loose.

"How dare you?" he said, his nose an inch away from her's.

Suddenly, Aragorn and Arwen came into the clearing and stared at Legolas with Zeneta.

"Ooh!" Arwen said happily, "Legolas has fallen in love with Zeneta! We can have a double wedding!"

"Noooooooo!" Legolas yelled as Aragorn dragged him and Zeneta onto a platform where a priest was.

He woke with a start, looked around him, and heaved a sigh of relief. It was just a dream. But Aragorn and Arwen must be preparing for their wedding. Legolas went to practice archery to clear his mind from that horrible dream.

Then he heard a girly voice. "Why hello, Legolas. I appeared to have lost my way. Will you guide me, gracious elf?"

The End, LOL!