DISCLAIMER: This gets a bit graphic so read at your own discretion. Also I have chosen not to write Mimi with the stereotypical latina street language. I view her as a very smart girl who has made some very bad choices. She still has the attitude and the brass, just not the language. This is my first attempt at fan fiction, and I hope you enjoy it. Please leave me reviews.

The night air was frigid but neither of us seemed to notice. The snow was still falling lightly, creating a beautiful scene around us. Roger gently wrapped me in my coat and then slipped his on himself. The Life Café and all our friends were shrinking in the distance behind us as we walked the empty New York streets. My head was still reeling from the past few hours and I was still trying to grasp what it all means. It was after 1 am and Christmas was officially upon us. I couldn't help but think to myself what a perfect way to spend Christmas. There was something about Roger, I could feel it in my soul. I knew it the moment he opened the door earlier tonight, it's why I had been so persistent, why I had purposely blown out my candle and dropped my stash. I have tried so desperately to avoid emotional attachments but it seems that Roger isn't going to make this easy on me. My heart hasn't leapt and danced with such vigor for as long as I can remember. I try to remind myself not to get my hopes up, but his touch, the weight of his arm around my shoulders makes it near impossible.

Roger startles me from my thoughts, but I try not to let it show.

"You're awfully quiet, what are you thinking about" His eyes searching mine. We've stopped walking.

"Nothing just thinking about how crazy and unexpected this whole night has been. You're not exactly Mr. Conversation yourself you know. " I smile "What are you…"

Suddenly he leans over and kisses me, gently, tenderly. It is the last thing I would have expected him to do. Startled, my breathe catches in my throat and I have to fight to keep my balance. A rush of panic washes over me, hoping he hasn't noticed me stumble. His lips are soft, warm, and I melt into his arms despite my struggle to maintain my control.

Faintly in the distance I hear what sounds like Rogers friend Mark running and yelling something. We both look and to our disappointment it is Mark. We look at each other unable to believe the interruption only to realize the snow is falling rapidly and we are both shivering.

"What the hell do you want?" Roger yells at Mark.

Out of breathe Mark reaches us "You guys are going to catch your death out here in this cold. Benny has.."

"Just what we need, MOM to chaperone us!" Roger snaps cutting Mark off mid sentence.

Looking more than a little hurt Mark continues "Forgive me for caring! This is serious guys, Benny has locked us out, we have no place to go. "

"What the hell? You are shitting me!! That bastard" Shouts Roger furiously.

Mark shakes his head.. "I wish I was. He's really done it. What are we going to do?" he asks looking forlorn and defeated.

I squeeze Rogers hand, hoping he'll calm down. He looks at me, his eyes blazing, hurt, angry, uncertain. Though I try to fight them back tears are stinging my eyes, and he pulls me into him. Wrapping me in his powerful arms holding me tightly. For a moment I feel safe, safer than I have in a long time.

"It's going to be alright, he does this shit." he says trying unsuccessfully to reassure me. "please don't cry" he whispers into my hair.

"I'm sorry I can't help it." I croak searching his eyes for some hope, now painfully aware of the freezing night air. "I don't normally." my voice trails off.

Roger gently wipes away the tears now streaming down my cheeks and pulls me back into his arms. "We'll figure out something. Where's everyone else? They still at the café?"

"I'm not sure. When Joanne told us the news I came to find you." Mark says softly

"Maaaark!!" it's Maureen's voice, and Mark stiffens

"Well that answers that question." Roger laughs and rolls his eyes.

Watching the two of them is nothing short of amusing. I can't help but to smile. They fight like kids but it's easy to see how much they mean to each other. "Are you two always like this?" I ask innocently.

"Like what?!" They respond in unison, looking a little confused.

"Never mind" I grin.

By now Collins, Angel, Maureen and Joanne are walking quickly towards us. Maureen is pouting and Joanne looks furious.

"I'm guessing Mark told you what Benny…"Joanne starts and is abruptly cut off by Maureen

"Of course Mark has told them. Mark is Rogers little caretaker!" Maureen chides.

They begin to bicker and all I catch is little bits and pieces. Confused I look to Roger who is rolling his eyes again. "Don't even bother trying, this is typical Maureen" he whispers

"Must you guys do this now?" cries Mark, causing both to stop, looking like scolded children. "Maureen cant you for once be an adult?" He looks at Roger "What are we going to do, we're broke."

At this Joanne, offers what little help she can. "I can check with my friends at legal aide and see what they have to say. Unfortunately they are all gone for a few days. In the meantime you need a place to stay. My apartments not big but you are welcome to stay with me for a few days. I have an extra room and a couch, I'm sure we can make something work"

Maureen starts to say something only to be cut off by Joanne. "This doesn't change anything with us. Next week!"

"But Pookie?" whines Maureen only to be stopped by the serious look on Joanne's face.

"It's freezing out here, lets get out of the cold" I stammer pulling my coat more snug around me, trying not to shiver.

"Would you guys like to come over for a while? I have coffee, tea and hot chocolate." Joanne says looking at Collins and Angel.

Angel looks at Collins and smiles "It's up to you. Would you like to go?"

Collins looks at his watch "It's late, and I'm pretty tired. I'm ready to head home, if you all don't mind." his voice smooth like velvet. "Maybe another night?"

Angel shakes his head at Joanne. "Thanks for the invite but we're going to go."

"I'm cooking Christmas dinner tomorrow I would love it if you guys would come." Joanne replies

Angel and Collins look at one another again, and they seem to make a silent agreement. "If your sure there's room we'd love to come." Angel says in his sing song voice. "We'll bring the pumpkin pie."

"Dinner is at 4:30 so be there by 4. You are welcome to come sooner if you would like." She jots down the address and hands it to Collins.

"Great we'll see you tomorrow." and they disappear around the corner hand in hand.

Roger, Mark and I all look at each other feeling even more like an imposition before. "Are you sure you don't mind Joanne? I mean, we hate to impose on you like this." Mark's voice full of apology.

"Don't be silly. Of course I don't mind. As a matter of fact I INSIST." she say pointedly "I hate having an empty house at Christmas. We'll make it a party, it'll be fun." she smiles

I shiver violently and Roger wraps his arms around me trying to warm me up. "Guys I really think we should go now, it feels like it's 10 degrees colder than it was 5 minutes ago."

We all walk the 3 blocks to Joanne's in virtual silence. Every time Maureen tries to speak Joanne responds by putting her hand up signaling she has no interest in what Maureen has to say. Mark walks alone, not separate from the group but at the same time not a part of it either. His eyes bouncing back and forth between the rest of us, it's as if he's observing trying to figure something out. There is a sadness in his eyes, something that I don't think the others notice. If they do notice I can't tell. My hand gripped firmly in Rogers, we glance at everyone and then at each other. Despite the bad news our spirits are high and we smile sheepishly at one another. So much has changed in the last few hours, even more so the last few minutes; its hard to wrap my mind around it all.

We round the corner to Joanne's building. It is a small brownstone with two stories, nestled between two large houses. The front stair is cheerful with its evergreen wreaths and plants each carefully set in their places. The roof has a thin blanket of fresh snow, and I find myself thinking that it looks like a scene from a Christmas card.

Joanne, Maureen, and Mark go inside but Roger stops outside the door without saying a word. He pulls me back towards him and leans down to kiss me. He's unpredictable and I like it, there's something refreshing about it. His lips are warm despite the freezing night air, this time I am able to stop myself from melting into him. "You were doing it again. What are you thinking about." His eyes narrowing on mine.

I can feel my face red with heat, and I wonder if he can see the pink in my cheeks. I'm not used to blushing, and I don't want him to know my weaknesses. I grasp the stash tucked in my pocket as if it were a security blanket, flipping it through my fingers.

"Do you suppose Benny will change his mind?"

"Honestly, I don't know" He shrugs "I hope so. But with him you never can tell."

The door opens and Mark looks out. "Aren't you guys coming in?"

"Yes mommy." Roger chides like a teenager. Mark shakes his head and goes back inside. We stand there in awkward silence starring at each other. "Come on, we better go inside before Mark comes back out and he drags us in. He's such a little mom."

"Ok, I'm cold anyway." I smile fighting back another fit of shivers.

Inside it was warm and welcoming. The lobby is decorated in simple dark woods and overly plush burgundy couches with matching chairs that made me want to sink into them and stay there indefinitely. There's a large Christmas tree in the front window decorated in simple reds and gold. The desk attendant is sitting there reading a book looking half asleep. Roger and I look around feeling a little foolish trying to see where everyone went. "You're friends are upstairs to the left apartment 3B." the man drones not looking even up from his book.

"Uh Thanks." Roger responds, practically sprinting for the stairs pulling me behind him.

"Merry Christmas!" I call out over my shoulder

Joanne's apartment is clean, almost too clean as if she were expecting important visitors at any moment. The living room decorated in simple furnishings is big enough to entertain six or seven people. On the far wall stands a tall maple bookshelf full of law books and encyclopedias, next to it hangs a very large black and white photo and then a doorway to the right of that. By the looks of it, it's an Ansel Adams I think; remembering the photography class I took in high school. In the center of the room is a beige couch with matching chairs on either side of it. It's oversized but fits well in the room. I drag my fingers across it finding it soft to the touch. It faces a medium sized maple entertainment system that has an average size tv on it as well as a few framed pictures. Most likely family, except the 8x10 of Maureen on the second highest shelf. The coffee table is bare except for a neat stack of coasters placed in the center. On the wall with the door hangs another large black and white photo, and leading straight back there appeared to be a hallway. It was very clear that everything had it's place and I felt like I was going ruin the order of it, if I even thought about sitting down.

The door on the far side of the room turned out to be to the kitchen where Mark and Joanne sat chatting as the coffee brewed. There was no sign of Maureen, which was strange. She seems to thrive on attention. The kitchen was done in dark greens and was surprisingly large. The counters were ample and free of anything unnecessary, and off to the side sat a very large table.

"Coffee, tea or hot chocolate?" Joanne asks cheerfully when we walk in.

"Hot chocolate would be great." I smile. "You have a very nice apartment."

"Thank you, it's home." she smiles "Roger? Coffee, tea or hot"

"Oh, uh coffee." Mark gives him and irritated glance "Thanks"

I fight back a laugh, Roger was right. Mark really is a little mom. "Where's Maureen?" I ask, curious why I haven't seen her.

"Off pouting." Mark and Joanne say in perfect unison, then look at each other and laugh.

The four of us sit around the kitchen chatting, and drinking away the cold, but I notice Roger has become more quiet and withdrawn. A half hour later all of us warm, and sleepy Joanne washes the mugs then shows us where we can sleep. She gets blankets and an extra pillow from the closet and sets them on the couch. "I'm sure we can find something you can sleep in if you'd like Mimi, sorry guys you're out of luck this time." She offers. "the spare room has a queen size bed, you will have to get another pillow from there."

"Thanks, a tee shirt would be great. If you don't mind." She leaves as we figure out who's sleeping where.

"I'll take the floor, you guys can have the couch and bed if you like." I offer

"No!" the both protest "you take the bed."

"I'll take the floor in the spare room, if that's ok with you Mimi? Mark you can have the couch."

"That's fine, Roger. But are you sure you don't want me to take the floor. I don't mind." I add

"No, you're not going to sleep on the floor." Roger says pointedly.

Joanne comes back with a shirt for me and Roger grabs a blanket and we follow her to the spare room. "G'night Mark." I call

"Night." He mumbles

The room is small but has little furniture in it; just the bed, night stand and a dresser all a light honey color.. The bed sits on the wall across from the door with a window near by. The comforter is dark blue, while the pillow shams and curtains are light blue.

"Are you ok" I look at him

"What do you mean?" he replies trying to avoid my eyes.

"You just got awfully quite all of the sudden. Are you ok?" I press

"Yeah I'm fine, just tired." his eyes distant and dull, his tone unconvincing.

Roger grabs a pillow and tosses it carelessly on the floor then begins to unfold the blanket he brought from the other room. "You don't have to do that."

"Do what?" he looks confused " Make my bed? Well if I want to sleep I do." he says

"No I mean you don't have to sleep on the floor, there is plenty of room for the both of us on the bed."

" I don't think that's a good idea." his voice is flat "I'll be fine on the floor."

"I don't bite. I promise." I tease

"Look Mimi, I don't know what you expect from me, but." his eyes piercing mine

I cut him off before he can finish "Just because two people share a bed doesn't automatically mean they have to have sex. If that's what your thinking."

"I dunno, it just sounds like trouble." he stares at the floor avoiding me again. I walk over to him and touch his hand, and he looks back at me.

"The floor can't be comfortable. There's no harm if you share the bed with me." I try not to plead with my eyes. "I will feel extremely guilty if you sleep on the floor."

"I still don't" he tries to protest

"What are we 12?"

At that he smiles. "No you're 16!" he chides.

"19, but I'll let it slide this time." I smile hopefully at him. I just can't stand the idea of him sleeping on the floor.

"Alright, you win. As long as we both agree to stay on our own side of the bed." he resigns but still seems unsure.

"deal!" I drop his hand and head for the door "I'm going to go change. Take whatever side of the bed you want."

When I come back, his clothes are laying in a careless pile on the floor and he's already under the covers with his eyes closed. He doesn't move at the sound of the door opening and closing. I'm not sure if he's asleep so I try to be quiet as I turn off light and slip under the covers.

"night" he whispers awkwardly.

"night" I lay there with my back to him attempting and failing to sleep. My body is tired, but my mind is still racing. Each time I close my eyes I just find myself trying to push him from my mind.

The time drags and lying there in the dark just inches away from him is nearly more than I can stand. It is taking all my will power to not reach out and touch him. My desire to be near him is insurmountable so I shift trying to find a comfortable way to try and sleep. We went to bed and hour ago, the entire apartment is silent and I am still wide awake. Finally I roll over and look at him. He is laying there, one arm propped beneath his head in the pale glow of the moonlight that is seeping in through the window. His eyes are open and he is staring at the wall. I can't help but wonder what if anything he is thinking. My shift startles him and he looks at me.

"You're still awake?" I nod. " Can't sleep?" he asks

"No, been starring at the wall. You?" I smile wryly, still wondering why he's not sleeping.

"Yeah, can't sleep either. Not sure why actually. Maybe it's just the events of the night. I don't get out much these days." he says looking like a lost child.

Unable to control myself any longer I reach out and touch his chest, his deep brown eyes widen slightly. Slowly, gently I move my hand down his torso until I find what I am searching for. My hand slides easily under the waste band of his boxers and onto the flesh concealed within. He gasps slightly and I feel his body tense as his arousal grows. I move in closer, feeling his breath shallow as I rub him and he hardens. I grin pleased with his reaction, then he grabs my wrist to stop me. "Mimi Don't!" his tone cold and sharp. He won't look at me. I pull free and make as if I am giving up, but instead I roll on top of him and straddle him .

"You're not wearing" he chokes "panties?" grabbing my hips

"Nope. Don't like them. Wear them as little as possible" I smile mischievously

"I, I, I can't" he stammers "I'm sorry" His eyes locked for a moment on mine before looking away.

"Yes you can." I whisper as I bend down and kiss him, he doesn't kiss me back. Taunting him, rocking gently on his lap, wanting him to take me. I can feel his desire growing between my legs as I grind into him, but he still refuses to look at me. I kiss him again, this time moving slowly down his torso, making my way to his boxers. He grabs me and throws me off him causing me to wince slightly. Before I can react he's on top of me kissing me hard. He grabs my tee shirt and pulls it off savagely. He presses against me, pinning me down starting to remove his boxers. "NO!" I demand "Not yet" my voice defiant as I look him squarely in the eye. He's furious; it's written all over his face, but I don't give in. My hands on his shoulders I push him down towards my waist.

He hesitates for a moment. Then his mouth begins to angrily explore my body, his hand wanders down and he thrusts his fingers inside me. Despite myself I begin to moan softly with pleasure, as he touches me in all the right places. His tongue tracing my breasts as he works his way down until finally he's between my legs. At first he teases me, then his tongue glides inside me with great skill and purpose causing me to moan even more. The more I moan the more aggressive and determined he seems to get. I run my fingers through is hair and my whole body starts to quiver. His tongue slides in and out with more fervor, until at last trembling, I cum.

As I gasp for breath he works his way up to my breasts where he kisses me firmly before moving up to my neck. His eyes are wild and full of fire, there is no mercy in them. Breathless I kiss him, sliding my hands to his waist, I try to remove his boxers. He kisses me back, hard, removes his boxers and presses himself against me once more. He enters me hard, fast, moving with more passion and force than even I thought was possible. I find myself stifling screams of pleasure, which only makes him move with more aggression. I fear someone will hear us, but at the same time I don't care. Our bodies entangled moving as one, all his pent up rage, desperation, grief, desire and passion finally being released. Ours eyes meet and lock, I show no pity in mine instead they dare him to try and break me, as his flesh pounds against mine. His anger begins to fade. His rhythm slows, becomes more gentle, almost tender. He buries his face in my neck. His shallow breath on my skin only arouses me more. I kiss his shoulder holding him as tightly as I can, until at last, he cums collapsing with a groan.

Exhausted and out of breath we lie there in silence for a long time, both of us a little unsure of what to say or do next. I play with his hair and run my fingers lightly up and down his back, enjoying the warmth of his skin against mine. Eventually our panting slows and he rolls off me. We look at each other our eyes locked, he smiles awkwardly which causes me to giggle.

"You are terrible, you know that? I knew you were trouble!" he suddenly smirks.

"Who me? What did I do?" I feign innocence

"Yes You!" he pulls me close to him and kisses me gently "Did I, hurt you?" he eyes full of concern and a little fear

"No, you didn't" I smile sleepily

"Merry Christmas" he whispers into my hair wrapping his arms around me. For the moment his guard is down.

"Yes it is a Merry Christmas." we drift off to sleep in each others arms.

The morning sun that streams in through the curtains is enough to wake me. I'm not sure of the time but it feels early. I'm exhausted, it was a long night and I don't think we went to sleep before 4:30. Roger is still sound asleep, so I carefully slip out from his arms trying not to wake him. He stirs, but is doesn't wake. I get up and go to the window and look out. It's early by the looks of the sun. There is a soft white blanket of snow on the ground but the sun is shining, which means it wont be long till it melts. I yank on the curtains gingerly trying to reduce the sun peaking in, then turn around only to see how peaceful he is when he sleeps. It's almost as if he is a different man than the one I was with last night. Intrigued by this stranger, I stand there watching him for a long time. I smile to myself remembering last night, suddenly I shiver realizing the chill in the room. I begin to search for my shirt, I have no idea where he tossed it last night in the heat of things. Unable to find it I creep around to his side of the bed where I see it partially hidden beneath his boxers.

Roger stirs and I freeze, I desperately don't want to wake him. He turns over on his side then opens his eyes.

"Where were you going?' he mumbles sleepily

"Nowhere I was just fixing the curtains, the sun woke me. Go back to sleep."

"Come back to bed."

"I will, let me just get my shirt."

"What do you need that for?" he looks me over as I stand naked in front of him my shirt in hand. I shiver slightly "I'll keep you warm." he smiles, sitting up just enough that the covers fall away from him. Drinking him in I find myself thinking how beautiful he is naked.

"What are you smiling at?" he grins, reaching out and pulling me back into bed on top of him, as I drop my shirt carelessly on the floor. His skin is warm and feels good in the cold air, his arms wrapped around my waist.

"You" I giggle kissing him.

"Oh, I see." he raises his eyebrow " That's nice. Now go back to sleep!" he commands in a tone attempting to sound fatherly "There will be no more of this monkey business we had last night!"

"Really?" I pout, "not even a little" my eyes wide like a child, I force my lower lip to tremble.

He laughs unable to keep the game up "Stop that! Or.. Or, I'll have to spank you." I kiss him again, feeling him start to get hard beneath me. He grasps my hips and I straddle him.

I smile mischievously then begin to kiss my way down his chest, exploring him with my mouth and tongue; working my way slowly down. I feel him grow harder as I press against him. I kiss all around it , teasing him, as I trace his hips and thighs with my tongue.

There is a soft knock at the door, we look at each other more than slightly annoyed. We make no sound hoping whoever it is will think we are still sleeping and go away. The knock comes again.

"What!?" Roger grumbles in a husky voice and annoyed tone. He props himself on his elbows and glares at the door.

"Roger, can you come out here please." Marks voice replies sounding mortified.

"Shit!" he groans. "Go away I'm still sleeping" he grumbles "He has the worst timing!" he whispers to me falling back into his pillow. I continue to tease him with my tongue, and he squirms.

"oh. well I really wanted to…. Never mind, it can wait." Mark mumbles

Roger sits up and rolls his eyes. "Hold that thought." he swings his legs over the side of the bed. "Get under the covers and keep warm, I'll be right back" He kisses me, throws his jeans on and walks out the door shutting it quickly behind him.

I lay there for a long time with my eyes closed listening to the muffled sounds of their voices coming from the other room. I can't make out what they are saying, but it doesn't sound like Roger will be back anytime soon. I drift sleepily in and out until I finally hear the door open again. I look up and Roger isn't smiling, he looks rather annoyed.

"You were sleeping?" I nod "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's ok, I was listening for you to come back. What was that about?" my voice throaty with sleep.

He slips his jeans off "Don't worry about it, I'll tell you later." He whispers crawling under the covers and pulling me into his arms.

"What time is it?"

"8:30. Go back to sleep." he says softly

I lay there with my eyes closed listening to his heartbeat, feeling his chest rise and fall with each breath for what feels like an eternity. Finally I open my eyes, he's watching me. "I thought you were asleep?"

"no" I whisper

"aren't you tired?" he says looking concerned

"yeah, but I can't sleep. Is everything ok?" I search his eyes.

"Everything is fine. Why can't you sleep." his eyes narrowing "If this is about what Mark wanted earlier, it's really not a big deal. It's a Maureen thing."

"OH?!" I'm a little surprised. I lay my head back on his chest so I can listen to his heartbeat again. For some strange reason I find comfort in it. I begin tracing random shapes and patterns on his chest with my index finger. My face tilted so I can see his eyes "Is he not over her?"

"Lets not talk about Mark right now ok?" He laughs taking my hand in his and closing his eyes.

After a few minutes I pull his hand toward my mouth and begin to suck his fingers, caressing them with my tongue. He sighs heavily, then slowly pushes my hand under the covers. Our eyes meet and lock , and he begins kissing me. Knowing what he wants I start to rub him at first slowly, gently, then more rhythmically. He hardens in my hand.

Not satisfied with just touching I slip beneath the covers finding him with my mouth. Focusing on the tip, taunting him with my tongue. Roger tosses the covers back and I lift my eyes so I can see his face, but I don't stop. His eyes are starting to roll back into his head, which makes me smile. Then in one swift movement I take all of him into my mouth. He jerks slightly in surprise and breathes in quickly. I feel his hands resting lightly on my shoulders as I move slowly, steadily up and down his shaft. My tongue dances over his flesh and he gently touches the top of my head. He lets out a moan so soft it's almost inaudible.

"Come here." his voice is breathy and hoarse. He sits up just enough so that he can reach my hand, then leans back pulling me up to him. I follow a little disappointed that he wont let me finish. His hands now on my waist he pulls me on top of him. The warmth of his body presses against me. We kiss tenderly as I rock back and forth, feeling him between my legs. With ease he slides inside me, I wince but try to hide it. He stops, his eyes fixed on mine. "I did hurt you!" He says softly his tone apologetic. "I didn't mean" I place my finger on his lips cutting him off.

"No you didn't, I'm fine. Just a little tender is all." my voice soft, reassuring choosing my words carefully. I don't want him to regret last night or to stop now.

"Are you sure?" his voice barely a whisper "I'm sorry" his eyes holding my gaze

"Yes, I'm sure." I smile. "Don't be sorry. I'm not."

At this I sit up grinding him deeper inside me, his hands on my waist guiding me. His hips rotating into my pelvis setting a slow gentle rhythm. He traces his finger over my breasts and around my nipples. We smile at each other, and I see something in his eyes I hadn't seen the night before. There is a childlike innocence a vulnerability there that makes me want to cradle him in my arms forever. I take his hand again and kiss his fingers, then holding it in mine as I steadily rise and fall on top of him. His body tenses and his hand tightens around mine, spent he lets out a groan. I continue to rock gently in his lap until his erection fades completely.

Roger pulls me to him, then closes his eyes and lays there silently. I reach down and pull the covers over us as I settle into the crook of his arm resting my head on his chest. His breathing is soft and I feel the warmth of it in my hair. He drags his fingers lazily up and down my arm until at last we both sleep.