Author's note: At first glance this story might seem similar to another story of mine, "the Eye of the Storm". They share some common themes but reading on you will soon find that they are taken in two completely different directions. I haven't written anything focusing on tragedy before, this is my first try at it. It has been quite difficult to write but I hope it's enjoyable to read.

Disclaimer: Characters and places belong to JRR Tolkien and are used without permission. Sorry.

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"Strange how even the worst of days can be sunny", Merry thought as he sat out on the Crickhollow doorstep watching the sun set in a beautiful cascade of pink, orange and purple. The sun had shone bright in the sky all day long over the early June landscape, filled with lovely green trees and flowers still in bloom. A robin was singing a happy song in his tree nearby, nature seemed to have not a care in the world. It had been a splendid day, turned into a splendid evening, and it was the worst day of Pippin's life. Funny how the two could be combined. Merry allowed himself a few more minutes in this haven of life at its best before returning inside to be there for his cousin.

It had all begun nine months ago when Pippin's wife Diamond had found herself to be in a delicate condition. Not much fuss had been made over the discovery, since their wedding in 1427 Diamond had been with child at least once per year. After two and a half years of marriage Diamond had had four miscarriages, and didn't have much faith that this time would be any different. Though as the months passed by the pregnancy progressed unharmed, and when she and Pippin celebrated their 3rd anniversary in March of 1430 she was in her sixth month and convinced that this time she would carry it to term.

After a full nine months pregnancy her labour had begun early in the morning, on this day which had been so beautiful. But things had not gone well for her. Her husband had been kept blissfully unaware of her birth not going as it should, had he known he would not have been so full of joy and excitement as he had been all day long. After a fourteen hour struggle it was over. Diamond was fading into unconsciousness when the child was delivered at six in the afternoon, and closed her eyes for good before ever getting to see the child she had struggled so hard to bring into the world.

It had been Martha, the midwife, who got the heavy burden of telling Pippin that he had a son but no longer a wife. Diamond's mother, who had assisted, could not bring herself to talk to her son-in-law, or to part from her no longer living daughter.

Pippin had been in his study together with Merry, discussing details on a map of Gondor, when Martha had come with the news of the birth. Pippin had been over himself with joy, he had given up hope of ever having a child, and he went straight for his wine carafe which he only brought out at special occasions. When the news of Diamond's passing away was given to him he dropped the carafe on the floor and it shattered into a million peaces, just like his life. Merry had been the one to clean up the mess and pick up the pieces. Now it was time to go inside and do the same with the Hobbit as he had done with the carafe.

He found Pippin in his study, positioned in his favourite armchair, staring into space with eyes red and swollen. Barely two hours had passed since he learned of his wife's demise. It broke Merry's heart to see him in this condition, the pain in Pippin's eyes hurt anyone who cared for him. Merry was sad over the loss of Diamond as well, she had lived in the same house as him for three years and he had come to care a lot for Pippin's wife. But Merry's sadness was not important right now, Pippin needed all the help he could get.

"Martha has gone to find a nurse" Merry told his cousin. "Since Diamond can't feed the… Oh Pippin, I'm so sorry about all this. This was supposed to be the happiest day of your life, and now look at how it ended."

"Diamond's gone…" Pippin said in a softer voice than Merry had ever heard before. It scared Merry to hear it, Pippin's voice had always been a combination of softness and strength. Now there was no trace of the strength.

"My beloved… Diamond with her sparkling smile, her tender touch, her sweet scent… Diamond who always bakes raisin buns on Saturdays and who always wakes me up in the morning by accident when she reaches out her hand to see if I'm still in bed. She's gone."

"I don't know what to say" Merry admitted. "Only that I am here for you."

Pippin didn't say anything. Merry wished there was something he could do to ease the pain for him but he knew there was nothing. Hobbits like Pippin should not be this sad, they were meant to laugh and be cheerful. Pippin had never been truly sad a day in his life, no matter how hard the day had been he had always managed to smile before he went to sleep. But not this day.

"Have you seen the baby?" Merry asked.

Pippin shook his head and tears began to fall down his cheeks again.

"I haven't been able to bring myself to do it quite yet."

Merry bit his lower lip and wished Aragorn was here, Aragorn who had children of his own and who was wise and together and who always seemed to know what to do. Merry didn't have a clue. What could he possibly say or do to make it hurt less for Pippin? Merry thought of his own life, of Estella Bolger whom he would be married to in September. The thought of losing her after only three years made him cringe. He could understand how painful it must be. Fortunately the baby had survived; Pippin could find some comfort in knowing he had a child to remember his wife by, and an heir at that. In the midst of the tragedy something wonderful had happened.

He walked over to his cousin and put his hand on his shoulder. Pippin looked up at him with despair in his eyes. Merry gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"This too will heal with time" he said. "You will be so much stronger in the end of it."

Pippin put his arms around Merry and drew him close, clinging to him while he shook with sobs. Merry let him cry. Perhaps the pain would little by little wash away with the tears.

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A week later Merry once again found himself standing outside Pippin's study, bracing himself to go in and talk to his cousin. A lot had happened in the past week, a week which had been like a bad dream from the start to finish.

Pippin had stayed away most of the time, barely sticking his nose outside his study. The only time he came out was when he was hungry, which happened alarmingly seldom, and to say goodbye to Diamond before she was taken away. Merry feared for his cousin's well-being, and he was not the only one. Pippin's father had been staying at Crickhollow for the past five days, trying to get through to his son and help him get past this first difficult period, but he was not having much luck. The biggest problem was that Pippin had yet to see his baby. He blankly refused to leave his study to come see the newborn and wouldn't allow the child to be brought to him. His father Paladin had tried for five days to talk him into seeing the child but to no avail. Finally Paladin had turned to Merry.

"You talk to him" he had said. "If anyone can get through to him, its you."

Merry was not so sure about that. He had not been able to be there for Pippin as much as he would have liked during the past days, for his own life had been quite chaotic. His wedding had been moved up, it would be held in just a week, in spite of Merry's loud protests that they weren't ready yet and it was a really bad time. His parents had disagreed, saying that a wedding was just what everyone needed to lift the spirits. Who really felt like going to a wedding so shortly after visiting a funeral, Merry wondered. But he knew that when his father ordered something all he could do was obey.

Now he knocked on the door and stepped inside, finding Pippin curled up in his armchair staring into space, just like he had the week before. A chill crept down Merry's spine, it was uncanny seeing Pippin like this. But he closed the door and took a deep breath. He had to get through to Pippin somehow. He had promised his uncle that much. And Pippin definitely needed it.

"How are you today?" he asked.

"Numb" Pippin said. "You know, it's funny… When the pain is at its worst all you wish for is the numbness to come… and when it does it's even worse, for you know that when the pain returns it hits you even worse."

"So what happens now?" Merry asked. "Where does this all leave you?"

"Alone. I'm alone. Everything went away when she did. Oh Merry, I don't want to live my life without her, I can't!"

"Yes you can. And you will. For you must."

"I heard about your wedding."

"Terrible, isn't it?" Merry said. "Estella and I both want to wait. We don't want to get married now, not so soon after this! How could we possibly?"

"Uncle Saradoc insisted, didn't he?"

"He and your father both. They say that a wedding is what we all need. But we won't be able to rejoice. It's not fair to us and it's not fair to Diamond. But we have no choice, within a week Estella and I will be husband and wife. To tell you the truth it scares me a little."

"I have been thinking about Diamond, and my own wedding" Pippin said. "That was the happiest day of my life. I swear to you my feet were not touching the ground when I heard us pronounced wed, and that first kiss we shared… I thought it was going to last forever. Turns out forever is not all that long."

Merry looked down at his feet, trying to find the words to lead them in to the subject they needed to discuss. Why had Merry been the one selected to talk to Pippin about this? He couldn't think of a single thing to say which his uncle had not already said.

"Uncle Paladin tells me he's been speaking with you a lot" he finally said.

"Indeed he has" Pippin said and rose from his chair. "I am moving back to the Great Smials with him. I thought you should know."

Merry was taken completely by surprise.

"No!" he said. "You can't! You can't leave here! I need to have you here! What are you going to do at the Great Smials?"

"Father thinks I should go there and be with my family" Pippin said, avoiding to look at his cousin. "The Great Smials is where I'm going to be when I'm Thain anyway, I might as well move there now. This place just has too many memories Merry… Everywhere I go I feel her, see her, hear her. This study is the only place I feel safe from her presence. As soon as my father suggested me moving I realised I cannot live here a day longer than absolutely necessary! I can't live in Diamond's halls and sleep in her bed!"

"But you can't run away" Merry said. "You need to face this head on, like you always have faced your troubles."

"It's for the best" Pippin said. "And not just for me, for you as well! You and Estella need some privacy, not to have me around all day long. Being at the Great Smials I'll always be surrounded by people who have time to keep me company all the time. You will have a new wife Merry; you won't have time for us both, not as much time as I need anyway. I can't be around here bringing you down at a time when you're supposed to be joyous."

"Is there anything I can say that will convince you to stay? I love you, I want to have you near, especially now! I don't want to be more than an hour away by pony when you are hurting so bad!"

"I'm going, and that's that."

"It will be so empty when you and the baby leave" Merry said. "Pippin won't you come see him? I have seen him, he's beautiful, he truly is."

"I can't believe how much my life has changed this past week" Pippin said, ignoring Merry's question and sitting back down. "Eight days ago I had the world! Now look at me…"

"Listen to me" Merry said. "Life goes on. Somehow you must find a way to get by without Diamond. No use in wishing things were different, you must accept the way they are and move on. Otherwise you will be lost!"

"Merry everything I thought I would have is gone" Pippin said and began to cry. "You don't know what it's like! I had Diamond and I had a happiness unlike anything I knew I could find. Then we were having a baby and suddenly we would have everything we would ever need. Each other and an heir. I saw myself raising the child together with my wife, being happy. Now my wife is gone, she will never ever be back. And as for the child…"

"The child might never know his mother, but his life is going to be wonderful" Merry said. "He will grow up at the Smials, surrounded by people who love him."

"No he won't" Pippin said. "I can't raise a child by myself. You know that children need to be with their mothers; whenever a child loses its mother we place that child with another lass who can raise him or her. You know this Merry, you've seen it."

"But this is different" Merry said. "He won't lack a lass in his life; he has your mother and your sisters!"

"That's not enough. This is no different than any other situation where a child loses its mother."

"It is different, in a very important way" Merry said. "The Thain, just like the Master, places children without mothers in new families, with those who cannot have children of their own. Your child is The Took's second heir; he cannot be raised by some random family! He needs a proper upbringing."

"He can't be raised with me" Pippin said. "I'm giving him to you."

Merry just gaped and stared at his cousin for a moment, unsure whether he had heard him correctly or not.

"What did you just say?"

Pippin looked at him with a firm look in his eyes and spoke sternly, with no trace of the sobs which he had spoken with just moments ago.

"I am giving him to you. You will raise my child. I can't so you will. You will be married shortly; it is the ideal solution, both a female and a male to raise the child."

"No Pippin, you cannot give me that baby!" Merry objected, scared out of his mind. "First of all he doesn't belong with me! Second, I have not yet brought Estella home as my wife! I need to be with her, you said it yourself, we need time to one another! If I don't have time for you how do you expect me to have time for a baby?"

"You will find a way. Can you really deny me something so big? The baby would be raised by the future Master of Buckland, that is as good as being raised by the future Thain of Tuckburough; you won't be teaching your own son anything that this child doesn't need to be taught! I am asking you, Merry! Consider it a wedding gift."

"No, Peregrin! It is not fair of you to ask this of me! And without even consulting Estella!"

"There is no other way. It's for the best. You can't talk me out of this, my mind's made up."

"It's too big of a responsibility! I can't be the one to make all important choices for your child! Take care of him yourself! I don't even know the baby's name, how can I be his guardian?"

"Oh name the kid whatever you want, Merry I need you to do this for me! Someone has to take that child and you should be the one to do it!"

"I refuse" Merry said and shook his head firmly. "I won't do it."

"Talk to Estella first, won't you do that at least?"

"You won't even look at the baby and you're asking me to raise it?"

"Merry talk to her! Talk to her, or better yet let me do it. The baby has no mother Meriadoc, he needs someone to raise him! That nurse Martha got him can't be there forever!"

"Yes she can, she can care for him at the Great Smials, where the baby's father is."

"They won't allow that in the long run and you know it" Pippin said. "How can you deny me this? You said you would always be there for me, no matter what!"

"I was thinking something more along the lines of offering a shoulder to cry on."

"I have shoulders to cry on. I need someone to take that child. Please!"

"I'll tell you what… I will talk to Estella, although I guarantee you that she will say no, but only if you come and look at your son."

"I can't, don't ask me to" Pippin said and broke away from Merry's glare.

"Yes you can. If I can ask my fiancée to take a baby in and raise it then you can bloody well come look at the baby when it is yours by blood! Do not demand things of me and try to slither your way out of something which nobody can even understand why you're refusing to do!"

"I just can't!" Pippin cried and began to sob hysterically. "I cannot bring myself to look at the being that cost Diamond her life!"

Merry was once again lost for words to say. The hardest part was that he knew Pippin might be right. No other fathers got to keep their children if the mother died, why should Pippin be any different? And it hurt to think that Pippin's baby would be raised by regular Hobbits who didn't have a clue of what a Thain needed to know. Pippin's son should not be raised without all the privileges that were his birthright.

"I will talk to Estella" he said. "But just promise me you will think about this."

"He will have a good life with you" Pippin said. "I have nothing to offer him. You have everything to offer him."

"I don't have his father" Merry said and felt the weight of the world on his shoulders.

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"You wished to see me?" Estella said and entered Merry's study tentatively.

"Yes, come in" Merry said and rubbed his temples with a sigh. How was he going to be able to ask her this?

"You know you're not supposed to se me the week before our wedding, what is so important?" she asked, and he could tell she was nervous.

"Come here, sit on the couch" Merry said.

He walked over to the couch and sat down right next to her, taking his hands in his. Her hands were so small in his unusually large hand it could almost disappear. These hands would hold his children by their tiny hands, stroke their hair, sew them clothes and cook them meals. These hands would nurture them through life. But what about a child which was not their own?

Estella looked at him with wide eyes, frightened by his silence and his demand to see her at times when they were required by tradition to be apart. Their wedding had been moved up by three months, it had been a hard time for her to adjust, and now this. She could not think of a single positive reason why he would ask to speak with her. Nothing positive could be so important that he couldn't tell her by message.

"Merry I love you" she said. "You… you feel the same, do you not?"

"I love you insatiably" Merry assured her. "But now I need to ask something of you which will be hard to accept. Something we need to talk about. Something that was not part of any deal and I am eternally sorry I ever had to have this conversation with you."

He looked into her eyes and saw how scared she was. He was scared too.

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A week later Meriadoc Brandybuck was wed to Estella Bolger. Pippin attended the wedding, for his cousin's sake alone. The party was not the joyous occasion it should have been, but thanks to the amazing Hobbit ability to shake any sorrow before long spirits were much higher than they would have been among humans in such a situation.

While the wedding ceremony took place workers from the Great Smials moved all of Young Master Pippin's possessions from Buckland to Tuckburough. All save for the baby. He was to stay with Merry and Estella, under their care from now on. The nurse Martha had found, a lass who had just lost her own infant baby, was to stay for as long as the child needed it. No name had been given to the baby. When Merry had asked Pippin what to name his son Pippin had just shrugged his shoulders and said he didn't care. Merry had tried for over an hour to convince Pippin to change his mind, and assured him that one day Pippin would take his son back. Either if he remarried or when he realised he could take care of the child at the Smials. Pippin didn't want to hear it. He had made up his mind.

Merry was convinced that Pippin would come around sooner rather than later. Once the first thick fogs of sorrow had lifted he would demand to see his son, long for the little being which was not only a part of him but a part of the wife he had lost. Until that day Merry had agreed to provide a roof over the child's head, but he hoped it would not be for long. He and Estella wanted children of their own. His parents had been very upset when they heard of the arrangement, and reminded him that with an infant in the house there was not much chance of him and Estella even finding the time to start a family of their own. But when Estella had given her consent Merry had told Pippin okay. It was the hardest decision he had ever had to make, but he had made it and he was going to stick by it.

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The first morning of Merry's married life did not begin as he had thought it would. He had pictured himself waking up in the morning together with Estella, spending all morning in bed with her, talking and enjoying each other's company. He had thought he would get a proper sleep in the night after his wedding and a soft start at his new life.

Three o'clock in the morning, just two hours after he had gone to sleep, he was woken up by a baby screaming in the next room. The baby had been moved from his nursery to the room which Merry and Estella planned on using as a nursery for their own kids, and they could hear him through the wall.

Estella buried her face in Merry's chest, trying to shut out the noise. Merry groaned and wondered if he'd known what he was getting himself into.

"Where's that bloody nurse?" he mumbled. "Nurse!"

But no one came to soothe the baby. Merry couldn't take the wait, he angrily jumped out of bed and grabbed his robe. There was nothing he could do if the child needed to be fed, or worse, changed, but he could not stand listening to this any longer. He would pick the baby up and go find that blasted nurse. What good was she really anyway?

The baby was furious by the time he got to the crib, screaming at the top of his lungs. Merry cooed gently and lifted him up into his arms. He was amazed by how heavy the infant was. Pippin's son was certainly not malnourished, oddly enough considering how long it took for his nurse to hear him.

"There, there" Merry said and gently bounced the baby.

The child stopped crying once he was being held and Merry couldn't believe his ears. He breathed in the lovely smell of a newborn child and chuckled.

"Were you just sick for some company?" he asked the baby. "Like father like son, huh? Oh look at you, you little lovely thing… One look at you and your Pa will beg to get to take care of you. Yes he will!"

He sat down in the rocking chair and held the child close. The baby seemed content being in his arms and Merry gently rocked back and forth while looking at the child. He found himself falling in love with this little being, this adorable baby Hobbit with little curls on his feet but none on his head yet. Merry had cared deeply for the baby right from the first moment he saw him, he had always known he would love Pippin's children, and right now he had to admit it was nice getting to take care of him. His situation was in truth difficult, he wanted to be around the baby but most of all he wanted Pippin to be around it. If only Pippin would move back to Crickhollow, then Merry could have it both ways. But he knew better than to hope for such a happening.

"Your father won't be here to see you in a while" he said to the child. "He needs to grieve your mother first. He doesn't understand that you can make the most of his pain go away. I wish I can one day have a child as wonderful as you. I am your Uncle Merry, and until further notice I will take care of you. You need someone to love you, child. Someone to look after you. I promise, I will offer you protection from all that surrounds you. Nothing and no one is going to be able to hurt you."

The child blew a few bubbles of spit and Merry smiled at him. When he wasn't screaming this little thing was absolutely adorable. The baby waved his legs about and Merry gently shushed him. It felt good holding him in his arms. He felt privileged. The baby grabbed his finger and held it tight.

"We can't keep calling you Baby, we need to find a name for you…" he said. "I wanted your father to do it but we can't wait that long."

He paused and looked at the child. It was beginning already. Merry was beginning to make important parenting decisions for his cousin. It hurt Merry more than words could say, for he would have his own children to do this with some day, this was Pippin's only chance and he didn't take it. But the baby needed a name, and Pippin had twice refused to give him one, telling Merry to name the child whatever he wanted to name it.

"I shall call you Faramir" Merry said. "After someone your father loves. He will love that name, it is the right choice. Little Faramir Took… the loveliest baby I have ever seen! You do indeed need someone to love you, and I shall do just that. I shall love you just as much as I love Peregrin. I will love you as much as your parents loved each other."

He held the baby close and kissed the little bald head. He felt like crying with sorrow and crying with joy at the same time. He would be there for Faramir until Pippin could.

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A loud cry woke Merry and Estella up in the middle of the night. Estella motioned to get up but Merry gently pushed her back down.

"Stay, get your rest" he said and kissed her on the ear. "I will go this time. You stay here and care about our own child."

He caressed her swelling belly with his hand as he got up and pulled his robe around him. Estella watched him leave the room then closed her eyes again, placing a hand on her belly. She had a baby in there, a baby who would see the light of day a year after their wedding. Merry was so proud he could burst but they both knew it would be difficult with two babies at the same time.

Estella could hear Merry soothe young Faramir in the other room. She caressed her belly where a new little life was growing. Their own child, as Merry said.

"Merry, dear fool…" she mumbled. "That is our own child in there as well. Peregrin is not going to come for him."

Faramir was now seven months old, and had yet to meet his father. Pippin had not yet managed to go back to Crickhollow since Diamond's death, it was too painful for him. Merry and Estella took care of Faramir, with the help of the nurse who would stay either until Estella had milk to feed him or they decided to wean him. The nurse fed the baby, but refused to do anything more, for she didn't want to get attached. She knew she would not have more than a year with Faramir. Estella secretly felt the nurse was a clever lass, she and Merry might not have much time left with him either. Pippin could decide he wanted the baby back at any time. They shouldn't get attached to him, but Estella could not help it anymore than Merry could. They loved little Faramir, he was such a charming child. Reason told Estella they should be around him as little as possible to spare their hearts the pain of having to part with him, but they both wanted to give the baby all the love his parents could not. Neither of them really minded the screaming, the changing of the nappies or being covered in spit up at least once a day. Faramir was a precious child and they loved him.

She could hear Faramir screaming still, then the screams faded and she realised Merry had taken him to the nurse to be fed. It annoyed Estella that they had to bring the baby to the nurse, the nurse ought to go to Faramir whenever he cried to see if he was hungry. Estella would never let her own baby wait for so long to be fed, she wished she could feed Faramir but she knew that she could not, at least not yet. She longed for the day she could fire that cranky nurse, she would have to look into what the youngest age was for a child to be weaned.

Merry came back quite some time later, surprised to find her awake. He hung his robe up on a nail on the wall and crawled into bed, placing a hand on Estella's pregnant belly. The child was due in 22 weeks, Merry wished it could be here already.

"You should get your sleep" he said and gave Estella a kiss on the cheek.

"Merry…" she said. "What are we going to do when Peregrin wants Faramir back?"

"We are going to be happy" Merry said. "For it is what's best for Faramir as well as for Peregrin. Poor Pippin, he's so terribly sad! If only he would take one glance at his son and realise that he has a lot left to live for. If I lost you at childbirth I would consider myself blessed to have a child to remember you by!"

"I love Faramir" Estella said. "It will hurt to let him go. Merry I would rather have him leave sooner than later. Before it gets too hard."

"Maybe it's time we paid Daddy Peregrin a visit" Merry said. "If he won't come see Faramir, Faramir shall come see him. We'll go to the Great Smials tomorrow."

"Thank you" Estella said to her husband and kissed him.

"You have been so wonderful through all of this" Merry said. "I cannot deny you anything you ask of me."

"Promise me that we will have a baby just as great as Faramir."

"That we will" Merry said and kissed her. "We will have the only child in the world as good as Faramir."

She crawled up as close to him as she could get and sighed contently. He held his arms around her and made her feel loved and protected. It scared her that Pippin might want Faramir back the very next day, but better tomorrow than a year from today when she had gotten even more attached. She was glad she had a baby of her own on the way, someone to love like she loved the baby now sleeping in the next room.

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Pippin was happy to see Merry the next day. He hugged him tight and didn't let go for several minutes. It was the same thing every time Merry came to the Smials, Pippin never wanted to let him go. Merry had begged him to come live at Crickhollow again, where he could be together with both Merry and his son, but Pippin refused.

"I have a surprise for you, if you ever care to let me go" Merry told his cousin. "There is someone special here to see you."

"Who?"

"Who? Your son, you idiot! Who else?"

Pippin froze and released the hug. He gave Merry an angry look.

"I told you, I can't see him. I don't have the strength and frankly I don't wish to. I thought I had made this perfectly clear! Where is he? Get him out of here!"

"You cannot go on like this forever" Merry said, getting annoyed. "Like it or not there is a baby that you have fathered! You cannot shut him out of your life just because you can't deal with it! That is not what parenting is, Pippin."

"I'm not parenting him, you are."

"Only as a favour to you until you can get your act together. Peregrin I really think that everything you need in the world right now is to hold Faramir in your arms. It's amazing Pip, the love you feel… You will forget your sorrow when you hold him, that I promise you! You will see that Diamond is still alive through Faramir!"

"I can't!" Pippin cried. "If I hold him I shall go mad! I want to hold his mother, that is what I want!"

"When you hold him you hold his mother too" Merry said.

"No, I hold the little thing that took her life."

"Are you still going on about that? He's just a baby, Pippin!"

"Look, I just cannot deal with this, not now! Get him out of here!"

"Have it your way then, stay cooped up here all day, Estella is weary and needs to rest before we can leave. And Faramir has a right to see his grandparents and his aunts. They are thrilled that he is here!"

"Do whatever you like then, but leave me out of it" Pippin said. "Nothing you can say is going to change my mind. Not right now. I'm sorry Merry, I can't right now, the wound is still too fresh."

"Don't tell me you're sorry, tell him. Your wound is seven months old by now and the time has come for you to allow the one person into your life who can actually heal you. It is a gift, having that child. Being a father is a gift. He could have died when Diamond did but he didn't. Don't you think she would want you not to miss out on these first precious months?"

"Diamond didn't want any of this" Pippin said and tears began to fall down his cheeks as he spoke. "She cried when she found out she was expectant again. She asked me, she begged me, she made me promise never to put her through it again once this pregnancy ended. She had lost so many babies and she didn't want that pain again! She was miserable, it hurt me so bad seeing her that way. All I ever wanted was to please her, and at that moment I vowed to forget about having a stupid heir, my sister's son can take over after me. All that mattered was her. Now she's gone, and I can't bring myself to look upon that which she grieved so much over and which caused her her very life!"

Merry gave up for now. It was obvious that Pippin had too many demons to fight within himself to be able to love Faramir the way he needed to be loved. He needed more time. There was something the matter with Pippin which made it impossible for him to grieve and move on, but he didn't seem to know what it was himself. Once he figured it out Merry would be there for him, but he prayed it would be sometime soon. Merry made a silent promise to Faramir that he would be in his father's loving arms before his first birthday. Pippin could not set the child aside for any longer than that. Right now he let his cousin weep alone, Pippin wanted his privacy.

Merry went to the sitting room where Faramir was in his aunt Precinct's arms and he was glad to know he would receive a loving home here when the time was right. It would break his heart to give the child up but Faramir would be better off with his closest family.

Faramir smiled at him and put his foot in his mouth. Merry smiled and walked over, lifting him over to his own arms. He kissed the child on the head and again vowed to reunite him with his father before he was one year old. He had promised Pippin to take good care of the child, and the best way Merry knew how to do that was give Faramir his father back.

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End note: The basis for this story comes from some research I've been doing in college about family situations in my home country during the past centuries. I found that just a few generations back men were not considered apt to take care of their own children; if the mother was dead the children had to be given to another woman who could raise them. When I was writing "Eye of the Storm" I used death at childbirth to explain the setting and I got intrigued by the thought of what would have happened if Hobbit fathers did not get to raise their children if the mother was missing. Since Pippin only had one child I found it a great opportunity to use the Took characters to explore this storyline, and who better to leave the child with than Merry?

The story will continue on for at least a few chapters more. I hope you will be with me throughout the course of the series! And I would love to hear your opinions of the story, especially since this is my first attempt at writing anything which can be considered angst. There is always room for improvement, help me find out how!