I have opted to post the second chapter in smaller blocks. It will wind up being either 3 or four chapters total.

This is the first scene in the chapter.

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The smell of bread baking wafts through the apartment filling the air with a sweet smell and the comfort of what one would imagine Christmas should be. I breathe in deep, unwilling to open my eyes afraid it is all a dream. If I had been told just yesterday I would be laying in some ones arms waking up to the smell of Christmas dinner and the sound of muffled voices in the other room I would have called that person a liar. I have always tried to keep the spirit of the season, but the last 2 years alone have been difficult. I imagine the other room being filled with my closest friends and a feast fit for a king. As if on cue my stomach growls reminding me how neglected its been. I need to eat, but I'm still afraid of waking from the dream like I have so many times before. Trying to ignore the nagging in my stomach, I burrow deeper under Rogers arm.

"Hey, there." he says softly "you're awake?"

"No" I mumble "still sleeping!"

He laughs. " I know you are awake."

"No I'm not." I protest

"Do you always have conversations in your sleep." he laughs a little

"Maybe." I open my eyes and smile at him. His eyes are bright and he's smiling. I lean up and kiss him.

"How did you sleep?"

"Good, you? How long have you been awake?"

"Alright, I don't really sleep much so I've been up a while."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"I just couldn't bring myself to. You looked so peaceful." My stomach growls again, this time more audibly and I groan with annoyance, causing him to laugh. "Sounds like you're hungry."

"Yeah a little. I suppose we should go be social."

"They have knocked on the door 3 times in the last hour I don't think they will go away as easily again." he rolls his eyes.

"Three times? What did you say"

"Nothing, I just pretended to be sleeping. I didn't want to wake you."

"Do I detect a soft spot under that bad boy exterior Roger?" I tease

He pulls his arm from around me and sits up no longer smiling "No, I just figured you were tired, besides I didn't want to deal with them yet anyway." His eyes suddenly sober and serious.

"Oh" I don't quite know what to say. He's reacting as if I just slapped him in the face "I guess we should get up now though."

"Yeah" He is up and dressing before he finishes the word. I just sit there watching him, stunned by his behavior. As he pulls his shirt on he looks at me. "What? Something wrong?" his voice detached and distant.

"No, not at all" my voice calm and steady trying not to show my annoyance. Just like I feared, the dream is fading. "Hand me my clothes?"

He tosses me my clothes "What are you shy all of the sudden?' he scoffs at me.

"No, it's fucking cold in here." I lie, pulling my shirt over my head as he stares at me. His annoyance obvious, expecting me to dress faster. "You don't have to wait for me. I'll be out in a minute."

"Whatever" he shrugs and disappears closing the door behind him.

Once the soft thud of his footsteps disappears down the hall, I fall back into the pillows covering my face with my hands. I lay there taking slow deep breaths thinking to myself "Why Mimi? Why do you do this to yourself? You always go after the ones you cant have, always the jerks." As I lay there I can smell him on the pillow, and my heart flutters. "Shit" I mutter out loud sitting up again, grabbing my pants and slipping them on. I'm not sure if I should be more annoyed with Roger or with myself, probably a combination of the both. Pissed at myself I start yanking the covers into place trying to make it look like I made the bed, when I see a small baggie filled with white powder. It must have fallen out of my pocket when Roger threw my cloths. I pick it up quickly as if it's going to disappear, I clutch it tightly in my hand debating if I want it now. "No not now, this is Christmas. Can't you just once try and have a normal Christmas? Those are nice people out there and you want to ruin it by getting high" my voice nags in my head, as I tremble trying to convince myself I don't need it. I know I don't want it, but my body craves it.. Suddenly I hear the sound of footsteps coming down the hall, I force the bag quickly into my pocket and start tugging at the bed spread just as the door opens.

"Are you coming out today?" Rogers voice is sharp and oozing sarcasm.

"I'm just making the bed." I try to keep my voice from shaking, purposely not turning around to face him.

"Forget the bed and come out." His tone softening a little

"Alright, I'm coming." I resign, trying one last time to push the idea of getting high from my mind. He disappears down the hall again this time leaving the door wide open.

Giving up on the bed I compose myself, thankful to have stopped shaking and head out to face Roger and everyone else.