Disclaimer- I own nothing from the Phantom Of The Opera, and the original characters are fashioned from actual people I know... so expect insanity.

Special Note- This is not my first story, but it is my first parody- so we will see how crazy I can manage to make things become. So the gist of this story is five fresh out of High School girls get curious with an old spell book and not so accidentally bring our dear Phantom to the year 2006. Now perhaps the whole idea of 'bring Erik to the twenty-first century' is a bit overdone, but trust me, this wont be like any of the others, and if it is, well then you can flame me to your hearts content. Just wait a few chapters before stringing the arrows, please. Oh yes, also I am basing this story with Leroux and Webber aspects.

Also, just to inform you all, after I finished typing this first chapter up it ended up being to big in my opinion, so just to let you know I split the first chapter in two, but I'll put both of them up so the default chapter and chapter one are meant to go together. Alright yall, hope you enjoy.

Original Characters:

(in order of appearance)

- Jennis Ryder - Olivia Haylyn - Hope Haylyn - Ariel Camon - Henry Asher - Tracey Cambria - Patrick Briscoe - William Peach - Natalie Montgomery - Eric Breakfield (not our dear Phantom) - Anna Haylyn - Other various characters to be met along the way.

So, let's see how interesting things can get, shall we?

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Chapter One: Birthday Surprise

Twelve years...

It had been twelve, long, mind numbingly dull years spent here, behind these plain brick walls, this common building that disguised the chaos within. Twelve years of focus, of concentration and endless repetition. Twelve years of traveling down paths that would lead them to no where, of being taught so feverishly lessons that they would most likely never use. Twelve years of the hassle, of the drama and disrespect.

So many years spent wasting what little lives they had... but by the time that clock sounded, this dull life they had come to lead would open to a new future, a future all their own.

The end of the day bell rang precisely at two, followed shortly by a chorus of stampeding feet. That day had come, the one they had all been waiting for. That day they had spent twelve years struggling to earn was finally in their hands. That last day... of High School.

Class's spilled out into the placid halls like herds of buffalo, just as loud and pushy as the great beasts of the plain. They trampled their ways down the halls, pressing the crowds of kids saying farewell to their friends for the summer, sweeping each person swiftly away whether they wanted to be or not. The only possible way of avoiding the stampede was for students to press themselves flat against the walls, and among them Ryder stood, struggling to empty her locker as the wave progressed.

She clutched what remained of her school work in her long fingers, her empty hand fumbling to gather the random objects collecting mold within the closet like locker. Against her back the swarm of underclassmen shuffled, forcing Ryder to stiffen every muscle in her body to keep from being shoved into her locker all together. A horde of the lousy idiots coursed through the hall, shoving they're way through. The maggots never learned manners.

Ryder let loose her vile tongue, attempting to curse the brats into submission. It worked for a bit, but she soon lost by sheer numbers alone. It was barely even a second after she closed her locker that she was, against all her will and training, swept with the masses, and washed into a sea of people. Her uncultured voice rang out, swearing better than most sailors. The crowds paid no mind to her harsh words though, and so Ryder continued to float along with no real direction to their stampede. The goal was simply the exit, if they could ever stop shoving each other around enough to get there.

From somewhere within the mobs an arm stretched out and took Ryder by the collar, swiftly pulling her further into the wave. Ryder out of pure instinct reached up and quickly grabbed the wrist, her grip tight and harsh. She jerked her head to look into the eyes of the fool who took hold of her, but instead found the familiar cool brown gaze and friendly smile that she knew so well.

"Oh, it's you," Ryder said, her voice instantly becoming apologetic as her grip relaxed, and the hand dropped away, "You should be more careful. I was about to flip you over my shoulder."

The brown orbs frowned for only a moment before slipping into gentle laughter, "Sorry about that. You were trapped in the crowd, I thought I would attempt to lead us out of here, while we were being herded like sheep."

Ryder shrugged and shouted dramatically, "That's all we are! Sheep! ... or pigs. Take your pick!"

Her companion chuckled lightly and continued with the game, "Hmmm, I dunno. What tastes better?"

"Personally, I'm a big fan of pork. Mutton's kinda stringy,"

"To you perhaps, but I am of Greek blood dear friend, and therefore must love my fluffy mutton's,"

"Just don't let my father cook it," Ryder chuckled, "He cooks standard military style: badly."

The brown orbs giggled pleasantly, but continued their herding without another word until they reached the sweet warmth of daylight. They had burst through the heavy metal doors minutes later, out into the open sun, free from the rampaging crowds of High School halls. "Finally," Brown eyes cheered, departing from Ryder's side, "Sweet release."

Ryder jumped up bouncing on the balls of her feet, "Olivia, we are free! Free at last! Sweet God Almighty we are free at last!"

Olivia's brown eyes looked amusingly at her rejoicing companion and laughed, "Thanks for pointing that out Dr. King."

Ryder playfully and flamboyantly bowed, "You're quite welcome, my young friend."

"Hey now, about to turn eighteen tonight," Olivia pointed out just as playfully, "Yep, I'm soon to be old enough by law to be able to do all sorts of things. Now I can go buy all those lottery tickets that I won't win on, all those cigarettes I don't smoke, all that porn I don't watch, and have sex with the boyfriend I don't have. Yea... maybe turning twenty-one will be slightly more useful."

Ryder nodded, "Don't forget, you can join the military too! My father never stops reminding me of that."

Olivia sighed heavily. She had heard this several times before and could only simply groan and remind Ryder, "That's because your father is a Lieutenant colonel, and a bit of an-"

"Ass hole?" Ryder bluntly finished for her.

Olivia simply shrugged, "I was going to say control freak, but ass hole works just as well."

Ryder nodded, but refused to go any further with the conversation. Instead she turned her emerald eyes upon the school grounds that she knew so well.

Shiloh High School was a very plain building, containing all the features a middle-class public school had come to have. Red brick walls, non artistic architectural structuring, and a football field that the school put more money into than the actual facility itself. It's lawn was always a dull yellow-green, the result of countless years of being treaded upon by careless teens. The land the school was built on was a barren hill, free of most plant life until you reached the bottom. From there great timber tree's reigned supreme, except for where roads and neighborhoods had disrupted its path.

In all it was one of the most normal and boring High Schools in the whole county, except for it's odd resemblance to the trait that their small town held. Dear Snellville, Georgia had always seemed to find some odd way to display their proud style of repetition. Across the street from their plain High was Shiloh's own middle school, and just a little down the street from that was the elementary. Funny thing was, this simple set up seemed to explain everything about how Snellville citizens were expected to live.

In a nut shell, it was simply one of those towns where each generation was expected to spend every inch of their life rooted in the same place and doing the best for the community. Very few people ever left this town, and even fewer came from anyplace but Georgia. Ryder and Olivia proudly belonged to those few.

Ryder herself was a bit of an oddity. Coming from a military background so was about as non conforming as one could get. Both Ryder's parents had been in the military. Her mother had taken leave to raise a family, and her father nearly headed the military's intelligence for the states. Her history was so seeped with the military that she had family on both sides of the Revolutionary War, and the Civil, even an uncle who went up San Juan Hill with Teddy Roosevelt. Her life had been spent on bases or around them.

She had been born on a base in Seattle, Washington, where her older brother Teddy, named after Theodore Roosevelt, lived as a National Guardsman. Her eldest brother, Grant-named after Ulysses S. Grant was stationed in France where he test piloted new aircraft, and air vehicles. Her family had traveled around the country staying no more than a year and a half in any given place. At the time being Ryder lived alone in an apartment complex in a neighborhood called the Columns, behind Snellville's local Harley Davidson Store. She was nineteen, legally allowed to live on her own, and when her parents had decided to move back to Seattle earlier that year, Ryder had chose to remain in Snellville to finish out her schooling.

She was one of the few to be able to say she had visited every state, and Canada and Mexico-multiple times. Her accent was a hodgepodge of everything thrown together in a blender. She would switch from a Southern saying to a Canadian accent without thinking, and then to French. She could speak three languages fluently-English, French, and Spanish, and she wasn't shabby on her German either. She held long dirty blond hair from her mother, and captivating green eyes from her father, along with his broad shoulders and long body. She would have been an excellent line backer-had she been a male. Still, Ryder was well skilled in combat-of all kinds, and to hand and weaponry. But that was her family. Ryder had no interest in joining the military. She was a painter, an actress, a performer. Her interests were the arts, not war.

Olivia on the other hand was entirely foreign. She was born in a place called Kefalonia, the largest Greek isle within the Ionian Sea. Her mother was a native to the land, and her father, a proud citizen of Snellville, lending his services to the American Navy. Least to say, the two had gotten married not three months after they met, and a year later were gifted with child. Olivia had lived in Kefalonia until the age of six, before her father convinced her mother to come to America, in which a year later the couple divorced for 'complicated' reasons. It was then Olivia came to live with her father in Snellville, and entered the trap of small town life.

It had took Olivia two years to get down proper English, and although over time her accent had morphed into something between Greek and Southern twang, her appearance was all the evidence someone needed to tell. Chocolate brown eyes, tan olive skin, shapely curves, and long, thick brown almost black curls were dead give aways. Her face was oval shaped and her shoulders broad, a strong build practically imprinted in the blood of Greek woman. The only thing that looked even remotely American of her was her way of dress, and her quaint nose. She had her fathers nose.

That oddly mixed accent broke Ryder's thought, Olivia saying with mild humor, "Now come on, we got to get to the parking lot before traffic starts to form. Those ignorant Juniors have yet to learn how to drive properly."

Ryder sighed dramatically, "And they never will."

The two then made their way from the school, going a little ways down the side of the hill to reach a rather large and very crowded parking lot. They dodged in and out of cars ways, staying clear from other drivers as much as possible, and delivering their share of curses with the ones who attempted to run them over.

After a short time they approached a 1992 model golden Camry, plastered with dust and dirt from weeks without a wash. Sketched through the grime on the back window were the smudged words 'Wash Me'.

Liv groaned as she approached the car, noting the message and saying grumpily, "Alright, so I've been neglecting to give old Herby here a good scrub. Honestly, I'll do it... eventually."

"And I'll join the army," Ryder mocked, then pausing to contemplate that, thought aloud, "Wait, no, that might actually happen...hmm. Oh I know! You'll wash your car when pigs fly." She concluded with a broad, pleased smile.

Liv swiftly snapped her gaze up with wide, fearing eyes. After a moment of scanning the skies she returned her gaze to Ryder, a sly grin on her face as she sighed, relieved, "Well in that case, guess I can't wash it just yet can I?"

"Guess not," Ryder chuckled before asking in a cheerfully conversational tone, "So be at my place at eight?"

Liv nodded her confirmation, "I am required to eat my birthday dinner with the family, but after that I'll be over. Might be a few minute's late but I don't think it'll be any more than that. So... what are we going to be doing anyways?"

Ryder shouted extravagantly, "What we do every year on your birthday Pinky!"

"Try to take over the world?"

"No- we do that on Halloween,"

"Oh yes, how could I forget?"

"Yes, how could you?"

"Alright you. I get the point," Liv sighed and shook her outrageous curls, "You and your surprises. You aren't gonna tell me, are you?"

Ryder offered a mysterious grin, "Nope. Guess you'll just have to show up to find out."

Liv sighed dramatically as she unlocked her Toyota and swooped inside, leaving the door ajar for her feet to hang out as she crawled in. Her book bag she tossed carelessly over the driver side head rest, the faded sack slapping heavy against loose sheets of papers and a random frilly white scarf that coated what should have been the back seats.

"So you will come right?" Ryder questioned as Liv continued to shuffle through things inside.

Liv's muffled voice replied loudly, "But of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Ryder smiled proudly, "Good. I'll see you at eight then."

"Yep," Liv shouted, her body disappearing entirely into the car.

Ryder couldn't help but chuckle, her brows raising curiously as she questioned, "You going to be ok in there? What are you doing anyways?"

"Looking for... AH HA!" Suddenly Liv emerged, her head poking out with a triumphant smile on her face. Just as Ryder opened her mouth to question, Liv's arm bolted up towards Ryder's gaze, clutching in her tan hand the treasure she had been searching for. In her fist she held gently a small, mouse sized, brown, fuzzy stuffed animal- a Walrus to be exact.

Ryder stared dumbly at the fluffy mammal being held up to her chin, her eyes gradually drifting to look at Liv as if to say 'you're nuts'.

Liv withdrew the fluff and sat it tenderly on her peculiarly clean dash board, then returned her gaze to her stumped friend to explain, "He's my good luck Walrus- can't drive without him. His name's Wilcox."

"Wilcox? The good luck Walrus?" Ryder was surprisingly not surprised to hear Liv say things like this, and sighed as if she'd seen her do this a thousand times before, "You...you just get stranger by the day."

Liv grinned wickedly, "He comes with a poem too. Wanna hear?"

"No! No, that's ok!" Ryder took a fleeting step back, "Let's not and say we did."

"Suit yourself," Liv shrugged. Once again she entered her car, only this time in the correct position as she started the ignition. Her engine gave a protesting whine before starting, and even after made an unusual buzzing noise.

"See you at eight," Ryder said once more as a reminder.

Liv nodded as she took hold of her open door, "At eight. No worries- I'll be there." The car door gave a teeth chattering squeal as she closed it, slamming hard against the metal frame.

Ryder flinched at the sound but couldn't help but laugh. She stood watching for as long as it took for Liv to get out of the parking lot before making her way to her own not-so-in-shape car.

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Alright yall, next part is on the next page. Hope you enjoyed!