Title: Their Love, Her Murder
Disclaimer: Slash. Violence. Angst. Language. Character death.
POV: Danny
Chapter Eleven: Symphony
I bang on the apartment door. He has to be home. Please, let him be home. The door opens. There he stands. He looks as good as ever. His blue jeans and black T-shirt are such a change from the suits he wears to work. I take it all in.
"Danny? Are you okay? You're out of breath." He gives me a half smile. "You didn't run here again, did you?"
I don't say a word. Instead, I wrap my arms around him. He seems slightly surprised. I kiss him. I feel his arms around me. That's what I want. What I need. We stand there, in the doorway, kissing. I really don't care who sees us. It doesn't matter anymore. With Flack is where I belong.
Flack pulls away and closes the door. I manage to catch my breath. Yet, my heart is still racing. My head still hurts, too. I promptly sit on the couch. I can feel Flack watching me. Every move I make, he follows. I like it. And at the same time, it bugs me. Why can't I just enjoy it?
"Earth to Danny. You're acting weird." He sits down beside me. "Something on your mind?"
"Yes, you." That's all I say. I don't know what I'm expecting Flack to do. But the reaction I get is not exactly what I am hoping for.
"Really? You've been ignoring my calls since yesterday. I think something, or someone, else is on your mind."
I frown. "No. Only you. It's always you. I can't even work without thinking about you. I thought things would get better after we kissed. But no, they haven't changed. I'm still so confused."
He rests an arm on the back of the couch. "What's bothering you?"
"Nothing."
"You're lying. If something wasn't bothering you, you would have answered my calls. At least, I would like to think that you would."
I lean forward, placing my elbows on my knees.
Leaning away from him…"I can't see you, Flack. Not at work or while I'm on duty. Mac won't allow it. Not until you get your badge back. I figured if I ignored your calls it would make the days easy to get through. I was wrong." I chew my bottom lip. "I'm sorry."
"Danny." Flack pulls me close to him. I can hear his heart beating. Its rhythm matching mine. Two hearts lost together in time.
I sit up. "May I take a shower?"
Flack gives me an odd look. "Excuse me?"
"I want to wash away work. May I use your shower?"
"Um, sure. I don't see why not. Go for it. Maybe you'll feel better when you're done."
I kiss him on the cheek and leave. I close the door behind me. I start the water in the shower. The sound of it soothes the throbbing in my head. Had it done that earlier? When I showered this morning? I gaze at myself in the quickly fogging mirror. I look like me. The cool, calm Danny. So why don't I feel that way inside?
I step under the water. It burns but I don't care. I want to burn away the world. The confusion of life. Why can't my heart let me be? Why can't I understand this all?
The heart understands what the brain cannot.
Not wanting to keep Flack waiting or to waste too much water, I get out. I realize that I don't have any non-work clothes to change into. What will I do now? Maybe Flack will loan me something. He did last time. When I came here wet from jogging in the rain. I quickly towel dry myself. I tie the towel around my waist. Aware that it's all I have.
I leave the bathroom.
"Feeling better? 'Cause you definitely look better." Flack steps out of the kitchen. I can see him looking me up and down. All I have is a towel. A mere piece of cloth.
"Um," I can feel myself blushing. What an idiot! I should have thought about the whole clothing situation before I got in the shower.
"Danny."
Flack is standing in front of me. So close. The pure and simple thought of him makes my heart beat faster. He takes my hands in his. The gentleness of his touch is enough to tear my soul apart inside. His lips claim mine. I return the kiss and deepen it. He responds with the same overwhelming yet calm passion. I wrap my arms around his neck to show the longing I have for him. He draws my barely clad body closer and presses his chest against mine. His nearness is overpowering, almost devastating.
To be so close to him.
A hunger begins to grow inside me. I want him in ways I never thought I would. I want to hold him forever. To become a part of him. Judging by the way that his hands are exploring my upper body, I would say that Flack feels the same. We stumble into his bedroom. Our bodies never really parting. He pushes my towel-clad body on to the bed.
Submissive…I have no problem with him being in charge. I want him to lead the way. I don't have the power to make the move. Not to go there. But I'll go with him. I want him. And yet, we can't do this. It's not right. We work together. What will the others say if they ever find out? Will they judge us because of the way we love? Why is the world against such love? Why can't love just be love?
I fall back on my elbows. Flack leans over me, resting his hands on either side of me. His kisses release the secret of his desire. I can feel him. Every part of his body. A body that I want to hang on to for all eternity. Out of nowhere I think of Mac. I should be at work. He's probably pissed that I'm not there. Lindsay said she'd cover for me. I was only supposed to be gone for an hour. An hour with Flack is not enough. Eternity wouldn't be long enough.
I lay back on the bed. The comforter soft under my warm body. Flack kisses my neck. He hasn't said anything. He's just going with the feeling. Is this why I came here? His lips touch my chest. He tugs gently at the towel. Something is wrong. This doesn't feel right.
Danny…I feel him slip a hand under the towel. My temperature rises. I try to concentrate on what's going on. But something is wrong. There's a slight ringing in my ears. Is it from a phone? No, the sound grows louder. The ceiling above the bed begins to blur. This isn't good.
Danny…"Flack," I mumble. Do I actually say his name or do I just think it? The warmth is ripped from my body and I'm left feeling so cold. Something is so terribly wrong.
I feel Flack as he places a hand on my cheek. "Danny?" He sounds deeply concerned. "Danny, are you okay?"
"No," I groan in agony. "My head hurts."
"Danny-"
"Make it go away," I mutter.
"How bad is it?" He asks.
"It feels like someone is drilling a hole in my head." I close my eyes. "The room is blurry and…"
"Danny?" Flack is close to panicking.
"…I can hardly hear you," I whisper.
"I'm calling for an ambulance."
He sounds so very far away. Don't go away, Flack. Stay with me. I feel him move. Taking the warmth of his body away from me. I turn to my side and curl up in the fetal position. I hold my head in my arms as the pain grows. Why now? Why this pain? Why won't it go away? I bite my tongue to keep from screaming as the pain hits me full force.
"Open your eyes, Danny. Please…" A pleading voice. A gentle squeeze of my hand. The smell of Flack. I open my eyes only to be blinded by the stark whiteness. The hospital. I'm back at the fucking hospital. What now?
"Finally, I was beginning to think you'd never get up."
I shield my eyes from the glare of lights. Flack is standing off to my side. His beautiful blue eyes are clouded. I don't feel like I'm hooked up to anything. That's good, right? Flack puts out his hand.
"Here, let's sit you up."
He helps me to sit up on the hospital bed. The room spins but only for a second. The pain in my head is gone. My hearing is back and so is my vision. I rub a hand on my forehead. My body is covered in a thin layer of sweat.
"What happened?" I ask.
Flack shrugs. "I haven't a clue. By the time the ambulance showed up, you had passed out."
"Did the doctors find out why?"
Flack looks troubled. "No, they didn't. They say that everything seems fine. The cut in your side is healing nicely. They think you may have just over done things after you took that hit to the head. You shouldn't have been at work, Danny."
I ignore his last remark. "If nothing is wrong, I'm going home. I hate hospitals."
"Are you sure you want to go back to your place?"
I think for a second. "Yes," I answer. Disappointment flashes across his face. I want to be with him. But not like this.
We walk down the corridor. People aren't staring like last time. There's no blood. No fascination. I wipe my sweaty hand on my shirt. Wait, my shirt? I hadn't even thought about being dressed. I look down. I'm back in my work clothes. How? Flack said I passed out.
Flack dressed you. He got to see yours but you haven't seen his. Yet.