replies to reviews:

Mrs. Nikki Slater: aw shucks, thanks I love all of your stories too. Your ideas are great and I might use some (If I do I will give you all the credit (after I'm done a certain part I will- I don't want to give it away)). And is this fast enough for an update?

Melissa Trent: oh it will get happier from now on (I hope), and then maybe not (unless my mind runs away again).

Thanks for the reviews guys and gals. The only thing is I need is more please.

Now on with the story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing not a thing but the plot, Meg Cabot owns it all but this plot. She owns the plot for the first 5 books and book 6 (but we will pretend that, that book doesn't exist). Also I have to say that the song 'Santa Monica' is not my song (I wish it were) but it does belong to the band Theory Of A Dead Man, who by the way rocks (no seriously they are the bomb).

Chapter: 3 First day of school.

I woke up to Theory Of A Dead Man's 'Santa Monica' playing on my radio which is kinda ironic that after what happened to me and Jesse this song is playing 'cause this song reminds me of it (only thing that is way off is that a guy is singing it about a girl, and with me and Jesse it's the other way around).

She fills my bed with gasoline

You think I woulda noticed

Her mind's made up, the love is gone

I think someone's trying to show us a sign

That even if we thought it would last

The moment would pass

My bones will break and my heart will give

Oh it hurts to live

Ok I'm sure that Jesse has never poured gasoline on my bed, but his mind was made up, but the love is still there for me and Jesse. And I do think that god was trying to show us a sign because Jesse said that he felt a tugging after he figured out what it was that was holding him back, so that could be a sign, right? I thought that it would last but I guess I was wrong. And it does hurt to live.

Chorus:

I remember the day when you left for Santa Monica

You left me to remain with all your excuses for everything

I remember the time when you left for Santa Monica

I remember the day you told me it's over

Instead of Jesse leaving for Santa Monica he left for the afterlife, and I do remember the time that he left. I remember that time every night. Jesse left me but he did tell me that we would meet again someday.

It hurts to breathe

Every time that you're not next to me

Her mind's made up, the girl is gone

And now I'm forced to see

I think I'm on my way, Oh it hurts to live today

Oh and she says "Don't you wish you were dead like me?"

It does hurt to breathe, sometimes I just want to give up and meet Jesse in the afterlife, but I don't think that if I killed myself that I would end up in the same place as Jesse. (oh and the little fact that I really don't think I would be able to kill myself.) His mind was made up and he is gone. I do think I'm getting over it, I don't cry every night only when I feel Jesse so strong. One thing I know for sure is that Jesse has never said 'Don't you wish you were dead like me?'

(A/N: right now would be the chorus again but She already went over that so...)

I wanted more than this

I needed more than this

I deserve more than this

But it just won't stop, it just won't go away

I needed more than this

I wanted more than this

I asked for more than this

But it just won't stop, it just won't go away

I did want more then this, I wanted to be with Jesse forever. I did need more then this, I needed Jesse here by my side. Ok maybe for the amount of times I have punched a ghost, or done something to a ghost I do deserve this. But no matter how much I wish to just wake up and have this all a dream it won't happen because this is not a dream, it won't go away.

(A/N: the chorus again, and then again)

I was snapped out of my thinking by the song ending, and a new one coming on. I reached over and turned off my alarm clock and hopped out of bed and into the shower. After my shower was over I got out and blow dried my hair to give it a wind swept look. I went out of my bathroom and right over to my closet. For the next 5 minutes I tried to find the perfect 'first day of my senior year' (A/N: it is her senior (last) year of high school right) outfit. I decided to wear a short (but not too short that Sister Ernestine would have a cow) jean skirt, and a light pink tank top with a white zipped up sweater that I only zipped up half way (what, the fog in the morning is cold even in the summer) I put on a little bit of make-up and a pair of (freshly worn in-don't want another mushroom feet incident) Jimmy Choos. I got down stairs just in time to grab an apple, have my mom tell me that I look good, and have a nice day, and run out side before Dopey left without me.

When we arrived at school Dopey went over to the 'popular' people to meet up, Doc went over to the 'science geeks' (not that Doc is a geek but, come on), and well, me I went to go find CeeCee and Adam. my like, my only friends in Carmel, but before I could find them Paul-look at me-Slater found me. "What do you wan?t" I said to him.

"Now Suze, is that any way to great your favourite kid to babysit?"

"You are not my favourite kid to babysit. I never even babysat you."

"True, true but you still loved that week the best because I was there, right?"

"Actually no. Normally babysitting Jack would be the best, but since you were there it totally sucked." I said and tried to get past him to finish looking for my friends.

"Suze, what happened? I thought that we were friends last year and now your back to hating my guts. Did I do something over the summer? Did it really bother you that I wanted to spend time with my brother?". Ok truth be told after me and Jesse became boyfriend and girlfriend, Paul got the hint and backed off. We were becoming friends and he's a pretty nice guy once you get to know him. But after Jesse left I was mad and didn't want Paul to find out that Jesse was gone. I'm not sure why but just a part of me didn't want him to know.

"No Paul nothing is wrong you didn't do anything wrong, I'm just not in the mood"

"Ok well see you later" and with that he left. After a few minutes of just standing there and wondering why Paul had just given up, just like that with no fight or anything. It was strange, or maybe instead of Paul being the mean one, I have turned into the mean one. When CeeCee and Adam came up to me. I didn't notice them at first and only clued in when Adam waved his hands in front of my face.

"Huh" I said

"Well ding, dong the witch isn't dead"

"Very funny Adam, where were you guys anyway? I have been looking for you ever since I got here."

"Well by the looks of it you haven't been looking for us too hard" Adam finished with a smile on his face.

"I was looking for you, then Paul came, and after he left it got me thinking"

"Uh-oh that's not good-ow!" Adam started to say before he got a playful punch in the arm, by your's truly.

"What were you thinking about Suze" CeeCee said ignoring her boyfriend who is now rubbing his arm (oops didn't mean to hit him that hard). And yes you heard right CeeCee and Adam are now officially going steady.

"Oh nothing really" I said, and by the look in CeeCee's face she didn't believe me either, but luckily for me she never got a chance to press me further, because right then Father Dominic's voice came over the pager system and said, "Will Susannah Simon please report to the principal's office immediately following announcements?". By this time Adam had recovered from the punch and said, "Not even announcements and your already in trouble".

"Shut-up" I said laughing.

Two minutes after the announcements, I found myself knocking on Father Dom's door. "Come in" he said, so I did.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Ahh Susannah yes I did. I just wanted to know how you are doing?"

"Oh I'm fine"

"Are you sure, I mean after Jesse left-" Father D started to say but I cut him off.

"Father D really everything is just peachy" I said really fast, and I meant it Everything was great.

"Ok, are you sure?"

"Yes Father D everything is great" I said with more conviction in my voice.

"Ok and on a other note, have you seen any ghosts lately?"

"Surprisingly no" I said after a minute of thinking about the last ghost. The last ghost I have seen was before Jesse left.

"Oh" Father Dom said sounding let down.

"Father D you sound sad, you make it look like you were hoping that I would have a problem with a ghost' I finished with a smirk playing on my face.

"Well it does get kinda boring here during the summer when you're not around."

"Oh well you're welcome, I'm thankful that I keep you amused" I said sarcastically.

"Ah, I just mean that there is never a dull moment when you are around".

"Thanks" I said yet again sarcastically. We talked for a few more minutes before he wrote me a hall pass and I left to go to my locker.

On my way to my first class I saw a book lying on the floor. I bent down and picked it up. I turned it over and realized that it was a journal. There was no name on the front so I flipped it open to look at the front page to see if the name of the person who owned it was there but no name. I was just about to shut the cover when something written on that page stopped me in my tracks. I turned around to see if this was just a joke and someone was going to be standing there and say 'got ya', but no, there was no one there. I shut the book and put it into my book bag and ran the rest of the way to my class. It was so weird Jesse said that someone loves me. Did he know about this because in this book the line that caught my eye was 'I love her, I love her so much but Susannah Simon will never love me, I don't know what to do'.

A/N: ohh I wonder who wrote that? Only I know and only I will Know until I write the chapter that reveals the identity. And for me to write the chapters that lead up to that chapter YOU have to review. Now good-night and good-bye, my readers for I am going to watch Batman Begins.