Chapter 23 by Abbot & Natters

Thank you for all the lovely reviews. We're writing chapter 39 at the moment but there's no dancing… yet. As a special favour to you all, we promise to write it in… at some point :p

Sam's POV – at the village

"Carter?" Calls the Colonel and gestures me over to a secluded corner of the ceremonial tent. Our hosts – the Yamyrians – asked us to wait here with the other guests while they finish they preparations. Everyone in the gazebo has a glass of the local equivalent of a soft drink –N'Tinevale - the natives handed out. The tests SG-9 ran on it during the first contact mission said it has no alcoholic effects. "Give me the bullet point version of our role in this big brohah, will ya?"

"We're here to observe mostly, as honored guests. They require an equal number of male and female persons in the tent. The 'Holy One' levitates over the assembled. Then we party."

"Party? After last night? This is getting to be a habit Cart- Hold it… Did you say levitate? As in flying?"

"Actually, levitation is-"

"Ahh!"

He holds up his hand, and I grin unrepentantly. I love it when he does that.

"Yes sir. Like flying."

"The Flying Yams? Sounds like a bad circus act to me."

"Yamyrians sir," I remind him with a giggle.

"So, who's this Holy Guy?"

"It's not a guy Colonel."

"Okay, Holy Gal then?"

"No sir."

"Jack. Sam. Sit down. It's starting in a minute." Warns Daniel.

"We don't have to sit like in high school, do we? Ya know, boy, girl, boy, girl."

"No sir. They just need an equal number of both genders in this tent."

"Shh," whispers Daniel to quiet us.

The Colonel is about to reply, but is interrupted by a loud gong. I wince in sympathy, knowing the Colonel's headache isn't completely gone yet, from the extra tension lines in his face.

I only pay half attention to what is going on in the ceremony. And the other half of my brain is on the Colonel. I'm waiting for the inevitable. As soon as that Monkey starts levitating he's going to say something which if I'm not fully prepped for, is going to make me giggle.

In comes the Monkey. Out of the corner of my eye I can see him piece it together. He may act dumb around strangers, he even tries to pull that off with us, but I know his mind is lightning quick. You don't survive in the AirForce, let alone black ops by being stupid. Three, two, one.

"Dorothy? I don't think we're in Kansas any more," he whispers in my ear.

I shudder slightly from his proximity, and the effort to hold back my giggle. Don't look at him. Don't look at him. Holy Hannah. Good bye synapses. Every single one of them just shut down and I'm hopelessly staring into his eyes. Suddenly, Daniel gasps, and I tear my eyes away.

The sight that greets my eyes is… scientifically challenging. There is a monkey levitating around the room. Every now and then it hovers over a woman, and shrieks excitedly, before floating onwards. Every time it does this, the woman in question seems very excited. Some of the women who are passed over are in tears. My eyes take all this in, even as my brain tries to comprehend how this Monkey can… float on air.

I'm startled out of my musings as the creature jabbers excitedly over my head. The woman in front turns around to glare at me. The Colonel is watching, every muscle tense, until both the Monkey and the other woman turn away. He rests a hand on my shoulder, and asks me silently if I'm okay. I nod reassuringly.

A few moments later, the gong sounds again, and it is over. The Monkey is led out of the tent and the crowd start talking, softly at first, and then growing louder as some people are slapped on the back in congratulations, and others are gently consoled.

Daniel is already talking to Hugh, the Yamyrian who is to be our guide for the next five days. His arm is around his wife, Olmas, who was another one of the few who got the Monkey 'blessing'. Daniel looks up, mid-conversation, and nods subtly at Teal'c and the Colonel. I can see the message his eyes convey. 'No danger.' Teal'c's en garde position relaxes, and the Colonel eases the grip on his P90.

There's something else in Daniel's eyes. Something… he's trying not to laugh. Oh great. What is it this time?

Jack's POV

So, we got to see this monkey - I think it was some wierd-ass local version of a lemur - fly around a tent. Whooo. It was impressive, I guess. Somehow, not quite as impressive as blowing up a star, though. THAT was cool, though the fourth of July didn't seem to be as much fun anymore. At any rate, the thing stopped in front of Carter, chittered some, and everyone 'ooh'ed and 'aaah'ed. I was ready to shoot the damn thing, myself. The woman in front of Carter looked like she wanted to slug it out, but the instant I put one hand on the Major's shoulder, she reconsidered and turned around. Carter warm against my hand, almost seemed to move into it.

Well, the ceremony ended, and that was that. Everyone milled about, hungry glances all around. The lemur or chimpanzee or whatever was led away, and the noise level picked up. The local leader, Hugh, came up to me.

"Did you enjoy the ceremony, Colonel."

"Yes. Yes I did, in fact. Flying monkeys are something normally reserved for the movies on my world."

"Movies?"

"Uhh...never mind. So, what now?"

"Everyone consummates the night's revelries, once they have selected a partner."

"Ah, excellent. Go forth and multiply."

"Indeed. Good eve, Colonel."

I nodded, trying not to laugh. Turning back to my team, I settled down to watch the fun. It's just like a civvie wedding on earth- just about everyone gets liquored up and laid.

Well, except me.

At any rate, the women stalked around, being coy and seductive like so many drunk bridesmaids, except more co-ordinated. Carter was the center of attention once again, but with the three of us sitting together, armed, I'm pretty sure every guy in the tent backed down. The fact that she had her pick of the litter and gave everyone the heave-ho left me feeling warm inside, even though I knew it was more the regs than anything else. I'd like to think it was me, but hey. A guy can dream, right? The fire's nice, it's dark and cozy in this really big tent, so what more could I want?

That little voice pipes up with the same answer it's given for years: Carter, dumbass!

I reluctantly agreed, and sat down. Carter seemed okay, so did Danny and T. It looked...quaint. Yeah, that's it. Slowly, pairs peeled off into the night. I felt a few eyes on me, just assumed I still had it, and shrugged. I didn't want anyone but Sam, and that was it.

In the background, I heard Danny laughing his ass off.