Criticisms please. I need places to improve on.
I
First come, first serve. The rules that apply in the chaos of the lands beyond are indeed interesting, and for that, Naruto knew he had to work hard, smart, and fast, to get what he wanted in this place.
Now in a town of sorts where the sight of weapon toting people are as common as leaves in the forest, and he could instantly understand the need for weapons.
"So, what do we do first?"
"Two years is a short time, so let's get started immediately."
"In the town?"
"No. The town is for supplies only."
Naruto continued to walk on, but his leisurely stroll was interrupted by a slight scream, and so he made his way there. The sound came from an alley, and alleys usually mean trouble, what more when the city is a land of thugs and hoodlums? The sunlight only touched the walls on each side of the alley, so it was quite a good place for these lowlings to get involved in whatsoever they need.
'Naruto. I have an idea on how to hook this people up to our side.'
"Huh?"
'Not everyone wants to be criminals, but often, they are forced to by the circumstances around them. If you can give them hope, promise them a more peaceful and orderly life, I think you can gather quite a following. But first, you need to come off as a strong person yourself, so others will think you can offer them protection. It's a gang thing.'
The alley veiled in the sheet of darkness, was where two menacing men seem to be picking on a child of eleven or so, threatening him with blades in their hand.
"What the hell do you two you think are doing?" Naruto shouted, instantly getting their attention.
"Get lost, stranger."
"Not by my watch."
'Decapitate them. Show the kid you have some might. This city is like those cities where the illusion of power is more powerful than power itself.' Kyubi spoke.
"Decapi-what?"
'Kick their ass, in your language.'
Naruto nodded, and he quickly finished them by slashing their knee and elbows, thus disabling them from executing any form of retaliation. The kid retreated, but his back soon touched the wall.
'A dead end.' Naruto thought simply.
The child, looked at Naruto with fear deep in his eyes, and he tried to avoid Naruto's gaze whenever it came along.
"... You okay?" Naruto asked.
"Take what you want! Just don't hurt me!" He screamed.
'In this town, as I have said, it's power. Fear is well integrated in their life, and if I am right, their fear can be easily used by us.' Kyubi then chuckled. 'Of course, I am right.' Kyubi then laughed loud. 'You seem to have found your first teammate, if you know how to use the person's fear, and show off your power.'
'If you keep talking about showing off power, why don't just Kagizume to come out and use his infamous roar of terror?' Naruto asked.
'They won't be able to take the power. So, they'll probably run than side with you.' Kyubi replied.
"Kid, stand up. I'm not gonna hurt you, trust me."
'The kid's only two years younger than you are. So don't call him kid.'
The boy slowly stood up in fear, and the constant shaking in his feet confirmed the perceptions. "What... What... What do... you want?"
'Hey, reborns. What the hell do I do now?'
Kagizume grunted, "I'll do it. Just watch, and next time, it's your own job."
Kagizume, who now controls Naruto's body, walked close to the little boy, which the kid responded by retreating closer to the wall. Kagizume quickly patted him on the head, and smiled slightly.
"Don't worry. Just come along with me. I'll help you, and you'll show me around, fine?"
'Huh? How the hell does he know how to influence people?' Naruto asked, as he watched the small boy seem to obey every order that Kagizume soon came up with, each time, the boy seemed less scared, but more respectful.
"He used to be a human leader or something, so he had to find people to side and help him in his cause. A country's might at that period of time is often judged by the talent it attracts, and he was incredibly good at controlling people."
'He's gotta teach me that trick.' Naruto soon said. 'It's gonna be so cool!'
'There's nothing cool about influencing people, because it shakes your own faith. Often, your personality is the one that suffers most from such recruiting.' Kagizume replied. 'Anyway, he is going to be your teammate, so talk to him.'
Control was exchanged, and green reborn retreated back to his sanctuary in the deep labyrinths of Naruto's mind.
"So, what's your name?" Naruto asked, first thing that came ot his mind.
"Seshiro, Naruto-san."
'What the hell, Kagizume even told him my name... And I thought I was supposed to keep my identity secret for security.'
II
When two giants go to war, often those who pay the price, are those caught between them, trampled over and crushed.
A war broke out, albeit a small one, between the nations of Mist and Grass. Thus, those who knew of the news, could predict the coming death, and the turmoil the unfortunate people will undergo. War, is always war. It was never black and white, and when war comes, death comes with it. They are one in a way, and they can never be broken apart.
Tsunade, the fifth hokage looked at the portraits of the four Hokages during their prime, and then she looked at Sakura and Hinata. Both were now under her tutelage, in order to cope with the prospects of spilling war. Both of them are doing well, but are still short of the skills some of her other ninjas have achieved. The clouds slowly drift pass, as she could see from her windows, and the sun's evening light cast a warm glow on the township of her village. This is her home, and the will to protect one's home, is perhaps the most important part of being Hokage, and hopefully, her ninjas will be stronger than her own.
The minnows between Mist and Grass, the lands of Swamp, Field and River, will be those that will suffer most as the two nations slug it out. Again, there isn't much she could do, but hope the tensions will decline. But in a way, a war between the two nations would mean that she would have less threats facing her own country. Her gain, at the others' peril.
III
Pinewood forests covered in snow, a sight of majesty and a sight of serenity. The mountains, seem frozen by time, and aged by it as well. The sun is blocked away by the clouds, and the air around is ever more pleasant, with a slight minty smell in the air.
"Why do we have to take this route, Itachi? Couldn't we just take the normal one?" Kisame asked.
"Faster. Besides, she's coming with us, and she is meeting us at the snowfields later."
"Your ex-partner?"
"Yeah."
"What happened to your plan to kill her?"
"..."
"Can't find the heart to put a blade through her heart?"
"No. I just need Kyubi as the final ingredient. The fear a full Kyubi incites is incomparable to anything the Mangekyou Sharingan can ever do, and I'll teach her fear, after all."
Kisame laughed, and there was a faint echo as the made it through the woods.
"First, we will need Naruto."
"...Are you sure our sources in the shadow lands are reliable?"
"No. But it is still better than nothing." Itachi commented, while navigating his way through the forests.
"... We are going blind?"
"... Well, depends on how you look at it."
Kisame sighed.
IV
The air stirred, the clouds swirled, and the waves began to act up. Kagizume knew something was coming their way, and nature often has a way to warn reborns about things like this. Strange, that nature only seeks to communicate with reborns, when reborns are not a part of nature, not with it's own people.
'Something comes this way, and are you ready to face them?'
"No. I am not yet close to their level."
'Let's kill them. That would teach Akatsuki a good lesson about messing with us.' Kyubi commented.
'Everyone, except Itachi. Leave him for Sasuke.'
'Our plans must move on, and I will have to stain my hands in some human blood, then.'
IIIII
Another fight. (third fight in the whole story.... man, I really need more action)
Kagizume & Naruto(with Kyubi) VS Three Akatsuki fellas....
Or maybe I should kill Itachi... so Sasuke will hate Naruto, and he will come to kill him... yeah, why not. More conflicts in the story... (This is a possibility only, decided only when I put my fingers to the keyboard)
Criticize my writing, seriously. I think my skill is getting blunt as I keep going.
I
First come, first serve. The rules that apply in the chaos of the lands beyond are indeed interesting, and for that, Naruto knew he had to work hard, smart, and fast, to get what he wanted in this place.
Now in a town of sorts where the sight of weapon toting people are as common as leaves in the forest, and he could instantly understand the need for weapons.
"So, what do we do first?"
"Two years is a short time, so let's get started immediately."
"In the town?"
"No. The town is for supplies only."
Naruto continued to walk on, but his leisurely stroll was interrupted by a slight scream, and so he made his way there. The sound came from an alley, and alleys usually mean trouble, what more when the city is a land of thugs and hoodlums? The sunlight only touched the walls on each side of the alley, so it was quite a good place for these lowlings to get involved in whatsoever they need.
'Naruto. I have an idea on how to hook this people up to our side.'
"Huh?"
'Not everyone wants to be criminals, but often, they are forced to by the circumstances around them. If you can give them hope, promise them a more peaceful and orderly life, I think you can gather quite a following. But first, you need to come off as a strong person yourself, so others will think you can offer them protection. It's a gang thing.'
The alley veiled in the sheet of darkness, was where two menacing men seem to be picking on a child of eleven or so, threatening him with blades in their hand.
"What the hell do you two you think are doing?" Naruto shouted, instantly getting their attention.
"Get lost, stranger."
"Not by my watch."
'Decapitate them. Show the kid you have some might. This city is like those cities where the illusion of power is more powerful than power itself.' Kyubi spoke.
"Decapi-what?"
'Kick their ass, in your language.'
Naruto nodded, and he quickly finished them by slashing their knee and elbows, thus disabling them from executing any form of retaliation. The kid retreated, but his back soon touched the wall.
'A dead end.' Naruto thought simply.
The child, looked at Naruto with fear deep in his eyes, and he tried to avoid Naruto's gaze whenever it came along.
"... You okay?" Naruto asked.
"Take what you want! Just don't hurt me!" He screamed.
'In this town, as I have said, it's power. Fear is well integrated in their life, and if I am right, their fear can be easily used by us.' Kyubi then chuckled. 'Of course, I am right.' Kyubi then laughed loud. 'You seem to have found your first teammate, if you know how to use the person's fear, and show off your power.'
'If you keep talking about showing off power, why don't just Kagizume to come out and use his infamous roar of terror?' Naruto asked.
'They won't be able to take the power. So, they'll probably run than side with you.' Kyubi replied.
"Kid, stand up. I'm not gonna hurt you, trust me."
'The kid's only two years younger than you are. So don't call him kid.'
The boy slowly stood up in fear, and the constant shaking in his feet confirmed the perceptions. "What... What... What do... you want?"
'Hey, reborns. What the hell do I do now?'
Kagizume grunted, "I'll do it. Just watch, and next time, it's your own job."
Kagizume, who now controls Naruto's body, walked close to the little boy, which the kid responded by retreating closer to the wall. Kagizume quickly patted him on the head, and smiled slightly.
"Don't worry. Just come along with me. I'll help you, and you'll show me around, fine?"
'Huh? How the hell does he know how to influence people?' Naruto asked, as he watched the small boy seem to obey every order that Kagizume soon came up with, each time, the boy seemed less scared, but more respectful.
"He used to be a human leader or something, so he had to find people to side and help him in his cause. A country's might at that period of time is often judged by the talent it attracts, and he was incredibly good at controlling people."
'He's gotta teach me that trick.' Naruto soon said. 'It's gonna be so cool!'
'There's nothing cool about influencing people, because it shakes your own faith. Often, your personality is the one that suffers most from such recruiting.' Kagizume replied. 'Anyway, he is going to be your teammate, so talk to him.'
Control was exchanged, and green reborn retreated back to his sanctuary in the deep labyrinths of Naruto's mind.
"So, what's your name?" Naruto asked, first thing that came ot his mind.
"Seshiro, Naruto-san."
'What the hell, Kagizume even told him my name... And I thought I was supposed to keep my identity secret for security.'
II
When two giants go to war, often those who pay the price, are those caught between them, trampled over and crushed.
A war broke out, albeit a small one, between the nations of Mist and Grass. Thus, those who knew of the news, could predict the coming death, and the turmoil the unfortunate people will undergo. War, is always war. It was never black and white, and when war comes, death comes with it. They are one in a way, and they can never be broken apart.
Tsunade, the fifth hokage looked at the portraits of the four Hokages during their prime, and then she looked at Sakura and Hinata. Both were now under her tutelage, in order to cope with the prospects of spilling war. Both of them are doing well, but are still short of the skills some of her other ninjas have achieved. The clouds slowly drift pass, as she could see from her windows, and the sun's evening light cast a warm glow on the township of her village. This is her home, and the will to protect one's home, is perhaps the most important part of being Hokage, and hopefully, her ninjas will be stronger than her own.
The minnows between Mist and Grass, the lands of Swamp, Field and River, will be those that will suffer most as the two nations slug it out. Again, there isn't much she could do, but hope the tensions will decline. But in a way, a war between the two nations would mean that she would have less threats facing her own country. Her gain, at the others' peril.
III
Pinewood forests covered in snow, a sight of majesty and a sight of serenity. The mountains, seem frozen by time, and aged by it as well. The sun is blocked away by the clouds, and the air around is ever more pleasant, with a slight minty smell in the air.
"Why do we have to take this route, Itachi? Couldn't we just take the normal one?" Kisame asked.
"Faster. Besides, she's coming with us, and she is meeting us at the snowfields later."
"Your ex-partner?"
"Yeah."
"What happened to your plan to kill her?"
"..."
"Can't find the heart to put a blade through her heart?"
"No. I just need Kyubi as the final ingredient. The fear a full Kyubi incites is incomparable to anything the Mangekyou Sharingan can ever do, and I'll teach her fear, after all."
Kisame laughed, and there was a faint echo as the made it through the woods.
"First, we will need Naruto."
"...Are you sure our sources in the shadow lands are reliable?"
"No. But it is still better than nothing." Itachi commented, while navigating his way through the forests.
"... We are going blind?"
"... Well, depends on how you look at it."
Kisame sighed.
IV
The air stirred, the clouds swirled, and the waves began to act up. Kagizume knew something was coming their way, and nature often has a way to warn reborns about things like this. Strange, that nature only seeks to communicate with reborns, when reborns are not a part of nature, not with it's own people.
'Something comes this way, and are you ready to face them?'
"No. I am not yet close to their level."
'Let's kill them. That would teach Akatsuki a good lesson about messing with us.' Kyubi commented.
'Everyone, except Itachi. Leave him for Sasuke.'
'Our plans must move on, and I will have to stain my hands in some human blood, then.'
IIIII
Another fight. (third fight in the whole story.... man, I really need more action)
Kagizume & Naruto(with Kyubi) VS Three Akatsuki fellas....
Or maybe I should kill Itachi... so Sasuke will hate Naruto, and he will come to kill him... yeah, why not. More conflicts in the story... (This is a possibility only, decided only when I put my fingers to the keyboard)
Criticize my writing, seriously. I think my skill is getting blunt as I keep going.