Saturday, after dinner, Athena made her way to the staff room to listen to the Wizard Wireless Network. Severus looked up from his book when she entered. "I thought you would be out with Lupin tonight. That is customary for Saturday nights, is it not?" he said sarcastically.
"He had a conference. Is it really any of your business?" She knew that their behavior had not gone unnoticed. Why does he always have to be so confrontational? she wondered. I wanted to learn potions from him, but if he can't be civil I don't see how that's possible.
"Possibly. There is a certain…safety issue where he is concerned."
She laughed softly in derision. "Somehow I doubt that. I don't see Albus hiring anyone unsafe. Besides, I can take care of myself."
He sneered at her. "You would be surprised. I take it…he hasn't told you?"
"Told me what?" This was just about the most she had talked to Severus and now he was being cryptic. She already knew that he didn't like Remus and felt it would probably be best just to have ignored him.
Severus got up from his chair and walked over to the window. "My, the full moon sure is bright this evening." On his way back to his chair, he nonchalantly dropped the book he had been reading on the table in front of her.
She glanced at the title, Werewolves: Misunderstood or Menace? "What are you saying?"
He opened a new book. "I haven't said anything."
"You're implying that Remus is a werewolf," she accused.
"Am I?" he asked innocently.
She tried to act like this wasn't bothering her. "Even if he is, it doesn't matter. I'm not looking for a long-term relationship, just something to make my stay here more pleasant."
Severus arched an eyebrow. "Does he know this?"
"Wait a minute? How do you know there is anything between us?" she asked suspiciously, silently chastising herself for not bringing this up earlier.
"It's obvious. You were both missing the last two weekends. And when I saw Lupin this afternoon, there was a definite improvement to his mood. I gathered you had something to do with it."
Now she was on the defensive. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Either way, I don't see that my personal life is any of your business. It's not like there is a rule preventing socialization amongst the staff. In fact, you are the only one that seems to oppose it. You're just jealous that he's happy. I know the two of you have never liked each other. But to accuse him of being a werewolf is very low indeed. You should grow up and put that silly House grudge behind you." She stormed out of the staff room, completely forgetting why she had gone down there. Once out of the staff room she ran blindly and suddenly found herself in her quarters.
Severus watched her go. She was clearly upset with him. Outwardly, she accused him of lying, but he thought that a part of her had to believe what he said. She was smart, would analyze the facts and realize that he had told the truth. That should ruin Lupin's happiness. The thought of Lupin, once again miserable and alone, brought a smile to Severus' face.
His good mood soured a bit when he realized that he would also make Athena miserable. Albus had told the staff to do what they could to make her feel welcome and he generally reserved his vindictiveness for his students. No matter, it was better for her in the long run. There was no future with a werewolf, whether she wanted a relationship or not. She would see that and realize that he had done her a favor.
Athena threw herself on her bed, unwilling to believe what Severus had implied. He was just being mean because he didn't like Remus. Then she started thinking about what she knew of Remus. He had missed the start of term teacher's meeting, one moon cycle ago. But surely that was coincidence. He might have had a job before that he couldn't get out of before September first. Then she recalled their conversation when he had admitted he had held a lot of odd jobs, so that didn't seem likely. He had also seemed less than thrilled when she talked about moonlit walks. And he had admitted that he had a secret he wasn't comfortable sharing. Could his Lycanthropy be what he couldn't tell her? She thought back to what she had said right before he had stormed out on her. She had mentioned giving in to animalistic passions.
No. It had to be a strange set of coincidences. People didn't hire werewolves. They were incredibly dangerous when they transformed. She couldn't see Dumbledore placing the students at risk. Then again, Severus had mentioned seeing Remus that afternoon, and she knew the two of them never sought out each other's company. Severus had also hinted that Remus might be dangerous. Besides, Remus had left yesterday for a conference. How could Severus have seen him? But what if he hadn't left? What if there was a potion that Severus was brewing for Remus?
Now she had to know if Severus had told her the truth, but how would she find out? If Remus were locked in his quarters or office, it would be dangerous for her to enter. But if he wasn't a werewolf, how would she explain her spying? There was only one choice. She got up and opened her window. Thankfully there was no rain tonight. She climbed up on the window ledge and transformed herself into a falcon.
Spreading her wings, Athena took off into the night. After a quick flight to work out the kinks, she headed around the other side of the castle where Remus' office was. Since falcons were diurnal, she would have to be careful not to be seen.
Finding a tentative perch on the window ledge, she peered into his office and didn't see any movement. Looking into the other windows, she still saw nothing. If he was in his office, he was well camouflaged. She had been right, Severus had been trying to make sure Remus was miserable.
Just to make sure, she took off from her perch and headed to Remus' quarters. She would prove once and for all that Severus was nothing more than a vindictive and bitter man still holding a silly House grudge. Perhaps it was best that Reese didn't have Houses.
Remus' bedroom was deserted and the bed had not been disturbed. The ledge to his sitting room was even smaller than hers. She found that she couldn't gain purchase on the ledge and had to flap her wings to maintain her balance. This made it a little harder to see, but the room appeared deserted.
She was just about to fly away when something jumped up at the window. This startled her enough that she temporarily lost her balance and had to circle back to the window. Standing at the window and pawing at the glass was the unmistakable form of a werewolf.
She had seen all she wanted, flew back to her room and collapsed onto her bed and cried herself to sleep. How could he have lied to her? How could he not have told her?
Severus didn't see Athena at all on Sunday. She didn't even come to dinner. He wondered if she might have walked in on Lupin. While the Wolfsbane Potion would make him sleep peacefully, there was no guarantee that someone walking in on him would be safe. He had a small tinge of guilt that he might have sent her in to harm's way, but he reasoned that she was smart enough to know better than to disturb a werewolf. Besides, it would have raised a commotion if she had been attacked.
No. There was no reason to be concerned about her well-being. She was just moping about in typical lovesick girl fashion. He felt a smile creeping across his lips as he imagined what Lupin's reaction would be when she confronted him. Finally, he would have retribution on one of those bothersome Gryffindors. Pettigrew and Potter were dead and Black had suffered in Azkaban and would soon do the same again, that left Lupin as the only one upon which he could exact revenge. It would be sheer joy watching that werewolf's heart crushed. He hoped it would happen somewhere he could watch.
Athena forced herself to go to breakfast on Monday. She would need some energy to teach class. While the house-elves had sent food to her room, she hadn't felt much like eating it. The same held true now. She didn't so much eat breakfast as push it around the bowl. All she could think about was the secret that Remus had kept from her, and she felt used. The only rationale she could devise was that he didn't think she would feel the same way if she knew what he was.
True, she had her own secrets, but they were nothing compared to his Lycanthropy. Everything might have turned out the same way even if he had told her. For one, it would explain why he wasn't interested in a long-term relationship, and he wouldn't have had to lie to her about where he was this weekend. The fact the he would have demonstrated trust in her would have been enough. She probably would have shared her secret with him, not that hers was the same magnitude as his.
Out of the corner of her eye, she had noticed that he was already at the table when she arrived, but she wasn't ready to talk with him and was glad that she could sit on the other end of the table from him, carefully avoiding eye contact.
Remus arrived at breakfast feeling exhausted, as he always did after his transformations. He was disappointed that Athena was not at breakfast. He hoped that she hadn't taken ill. Unfortunately, Minerva took the seat on his left and Pomona the one on his right. His eyes lit up when he saw Athena enter the Great Hall, but she didn't even look at him. He wondered what had happened in his absence.
He kept glancing down the table, hoping to catch her eye, but she stared at her breakfast. She wasn't really eating much, just stirring her porridge around the bowl for the most part. About 5 minutes after she arrived, she got up from the table.
After a moment's hesitation, he decided to follow and see if he could find out what happened. He noticed that she was going straight to her classroom. He paused outside her door a moment, trying to prepare himself for whatever unknown event he would have to face. He put a smile on his face and crossed over the threshold. "Athena, it was good to see you this morning. I'm sorry there wasn't a seat next to me."
She glared at him, noticing that he looked older and paler than normal. That was expected since he had spent a good portion of the weekend as a werewolf. "I'm not," she replied in a voice devoid of emotion.
The smile melted off his face. He moved across the classroom to get closer to her, but she kept putting desks between them. "Forgive me for being confused, but I thought you would be happy to see me. We do have a dinner date tonight, after all."
"I'm busy. I have homework to grade and won't be able to make it tonight. If you will excuse me, I have to finish setting up for my class."
The coldness in her voice bothered him. She still hadn't met his eyes, either. "Athena, what happened over the weekend? Are you ill?" He desperately wanted to understand.
Finally she met his eyes with an icy glare. "I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"
Why was it women answered a question with a question? "I don't understand. I need you to be more direct." He was desperate to understand why she was giving him the cold shoulder.
She crossed the row of desks, stood face to face with him and poked him in the chest with her finger. "You want me to be more direct? Fine. I know what you are and I can't believe you didn't tell me. You took advantage of me. Lied to me." Her voice started to crack.
He felt his heart sink. How could she know? He took hold of her hand to stop her from poking him. "I never lied to you. I wanted to wait until after I could tell you, but I was overcome by the moment. I never wanted to hurt you."
"You could have told me at dinner, in the rain, in the room before you threw me on the bed. You had plenty of opportunities." She fought back the tears, determined not to let him see her cry.
He wanted to pull her into his arms and comfort her. He said defensively, "It's not something I go around telling people. People like me aren't exactly welcomed into society. I…was planning on telling you tonight," his voice had dropped to an ashamed whisper.
She took hold of her anger, using it to maintain control. "Likely story. Could that lack of acceptance have anything to do with your kind being sneaky and untrustworthy? How did you think I would feel when I found out I had been seduced by a werewolf?"
He cringed as she said the last word, hoping no one heard. He tried hard to maintain his calm. "You? Seduced? As I recall, you were the one doing the seducing. You were the one sticking her foot in my crotch. You were the one sneaking up on me between classes giving rather passionate kisses. You haven't been able to keep your hands off me since we met. And as I recall, you called me a prize and said something about getting what you want. If you will think, back you will remember that I said we should wait." He tried to loom over her using his slight height advantage, but she wasn't backing down.
She was shouting now. "And I suppose you didn't like it? I'm sure you liked it a lot. And you've been oozing charm at me ever since you arrived so don't make it sound like I'm at fault. No, sir, you charmed me and let me know that my advances were not unwelcome. At least now I know why you haven't gotten much womanly attention." She was completely disgusted with his behavior. He had led her on, seeing only the opportunity to be with a woman.
"Athena…" He longed to make her understand. He had never meant to hurt her. He reached out for her.
She slapped his hand away. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I'll keep your secret. Dumbledore trusts you to work here and I won't question his judgment. Now, I think you had better go. My class will be here soon." She turned her back on him and continued setting out the display of Muggle small appliances while fighting back the tears threatening to erupt.
Remus knew the conversation was over. The damage was done. He had given in to his "animalistic passions" and ruined something special. He put his hands in his pockets and walked out of the classroom. He couldn't remember feeling so utterly dejected.
Severus had arrived early at breakfast hoping that both parties would be there. He was disappointed when breakfast started without Athena. Once she arrived he did his best to discreetly watch the two of them. While he did not expect a public spectacle, he would be able to get a sense of her mood. It was all he could do to contain his joy at seeing her completely ignore Lupin. And poor Lupin was oblivious. The werewolf was clearly puzzled over the loss of his ladylove's favor.
After Athena and Lupin departed, he waited a discreet amount of time before making his own exit. He knew that Athena had a first hour class and was probably headed to her classroom. Taking the backstairs, he arrived in the corridor about the same as time Lupin. Once Lupin entered the classroom, Severus moved into a dark alcove behind one of the many statues that graced Hogwarts' corridors. From here he should be able to at least hear the confrontation.
This was even better than he imagined. A part of him had feared that she would let Lupin explain and forgive him, but she was furious at him. He wouldn't have been surprised if she started throwing things at him. A wicked smile curled across his lips as he listened to the argument escalating. If only he could have seen Lupin's face the moment that she revealed she knew his secret, that would have made it even better.
From his vantage point he could see Lupin leave the classroom. His smile broadened at the look of utter misery on Lupin's face. After all these years he had finally put one of those cocky Gryffindors in his place.
After the initial confrontation, Athena did a good job of avoiding Remus. She made sure to choose her seat at the table so that he couldn't sit next to her and she had stopped spending time in the staff room. Remus had sent her several letters, but she burned them all, unread.
One day she passed him in the corridor, "Professor Lupin, you can stop wasting your time writing me letters. I have not been reading them."
He followed behind her. "Athena, it's been nearly two weeks. We need to talk about this. We can't keep avoiding each other." She continued to ignore him. "Athena, please. I implore you, let me apologize and explain."
"I neither need nor want your apology or your explanation. And I assure you I can keep avoiding you. I do not need you in my life."
He continued following her. "You can't tell me that you didn't enjoy our time together."
She turned to face him. "I won't deny that, but do you have any idea how betrayed I felt? How used? How much it hurt when I found out?" She seemed to realize they were in the corridor. "Good day, Professor."
She walked down the corridor in a bit of a haze and rounded the corner to run right into Severus. "Pardon me," she mumbled as she bent down to pick up the papers she had dropped.
"You should be more careful," Severus said. He summoned a roll of parchment that was rolling away and handed it back to her.
She brushed her hair back behind her ear as she stood back up and took the parchment from him. "I said I was sorry. There's not much more I can offer. I want to thank you for what you told me about Remus. Is there a reason the staff wasn't informed?"
"I'm sure the Headmaster had his reasons. He did not share them with me." The reason being just about everyone else knew, having been here when Remus was a student. Minerva had been his head of house, Poppy, as the nurse needed to know, Pomona had selected the Whomping Willow to protect the entrance to the tunnel and the others would have needed to know why Remus missed their classes every month. Albus either didn't trust her enough with the knowledge or simply forgot that she would not have known.
"Well, thanks again for the warning. I have to get to class." She gave him a small smile and walked away. Why was it that she seemed to sound like an idiot every time she was near him? She didn't have that reaction around anyone else. In fact, she had been quite comfortable around Remus up until the revelation of his true nature.
At least tonight was new moon. She could join the Dryads in the Forest and forget her worries for a few hours. She always felt refreshed after the Celebration. Hopefully, it would be the same tonight.
Minerva was not blind to the needs of the staff. It was clear that something had happened between Remus and Athena. The two of them were no longer spending any time together and it disappointed her. She always wanted the best for her students, and Remus had been in her House. She knew that it was unlikely he would discuss the situation with her, but perhaps Athena would. It was always bad to have people depressed during the winter. The weather did that quite effectively and they didn't need to introduce a personal disagreement. She decided to invite Athena to Saturday tea.
After pouring tea, Minerva said, "Irma tells me you check out as many books on potions as Severus does. Have you talked to him about your interest? He is quite knowledgeable and if you have any proficiency at all, I'm sure he would be glad to teach you. He's always complaining about how his students lack the proper talent."
They both chuckled over this. "Yes, I've heard him complaining about how Longbottom blew something up in class again," Athena said. "I do wish I could get him to talk to me. He's published several brilliant papers and I'd like to be able to discuss them, but, well, it's kind of embarrassing."
"Go ahead, dear," prodded Minerva.
"Well, he intimidates me a little. I get nervous and can't put together an intelligent sentence. I'm sure he thinks I'm an idiot." She chuckled softly.
"I wouldn't go that far, dear. Severus has always been quite imposing. I think he takes pleasure in looming over people." In fact, she was quite sure he did after how he was treated as a student. He finally had the chance to be the bully and seemed to revel in it. "I could speak with him," she offered.
"Oh, good gracious, no. Then he would know I was an idiot. No, I'll work through it."
Minerva decided this was a good time to change the subject, though the new subject was likely to be just as uncomfortable. "I've noticed that you and Remus aren't talking anymore. Is there anything I can do as Deputy Headmistress?"
Athena shifted nervously. "No, there isn't. I really don't want to talk about it."
"Well, the two of you seemed to get along well right from the beginning. I had hoped that would continue."
"Well, it's not, so there's no point in talking about it," Athena said defensively.
"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Minerva asked gently.
"No. I ended it before there would be a chance of that. Minerva, I really don't want to talk about it." It was very painful for her. She had thought her relationship with Remus would nothing more than a fling, but for a while she had felt they had connected on an emotional level, only to find he had deceived her.
Minerva leaned forward in her chair and put a reassuring hand on Athena's knee. "My dear, if there is something that is going to affect the way the staff interacts, I need to know about it. If it's something that could be resolved?" she urged.
"No. There is no resolving this. He was purposefully deceitful and took advantage of me. I'd rather put it behind me."
Minerva looked aghast. "He took advantage of you? That's very serious…"
Athena interrupted, "No, no, not that kind of take advantage. He played my emotions to his advantage. Once I learned about his deception, I decided it was over."
"His deception? You mean you didn't know what he was?" It seemed out of character for Remus not to tell her what he was.
"No."
"How did you find out?" she asked. She wondered if someone had told her or if he was not being careful enough about concealing his secret. While some parents may not care, most would not want a werewolf teaching their children and would send Howlers to Albus and the Board of Trustees.
She didn't want to implicate Severus since she still wanted to learn about potions from him. "A little detective work. One of the things I've taught in History is werewolf persecution. Thank you for the lovely tea, Minerva, but I think I should go get ready for dinner. Excuse me."
Minerva leaned back in her chair. At least she knew why the two of them weren't talking anymore. She wished she had insisted Albus inform the rest of the staff. She had suggested it, but Albus respected Remus' privacy and said it was up to him to tell those he wished. Watching the two of them together had made her so happy. Remus had never been good with the girls as a student. He had been too self-conscious of his Lycanthropy. She had enjoyed seeing the smiles on his face and the spring in his step, but that was over. Athena seemed completely opposed to giving him a second chance.