Instead of seeing her body, he saw a falcon flying away from the castle wall. He watched in amazement as the bird climbed high into the sky. The next thing he knew the falcon was diving at him, attacking. Waving his arms to try to stop the attack, he ran back inside the tower to get away from her relentless attack. He hadn't known she was an Animagus.
Somehow he managed to make his way back to his quarters without seeing anyone. He leaned against the door and squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't believe what had just happened. What was wrong with her? Clearly she was still interested in him, the way she had behaved proved that, but then she kept pushing him away. And then to attack him, what had provoked that? He had done nothing to harm her; he had merely been trying to explain how he felt.
Over the past couple of days he had tried to learn everything he could about Dryads, but there was very little written on them, other than the numerous reports of their sexual powers. When she wanted to, a Dryad could drive a man mad with desire. Despite her assertion that she had none of the powers, he begged to differ.
The only explanation he could devise was that she found him too easy a conquest and turned her attentions to Severus.
He sank down to the floor and ran his fingers through his hair, wondering how he could have been so stupid. He should have known it was too good to be true. But now what? He had no idea what would happen next. He still wanted her and he knew she felt the same way. They were two of a kind and she refused to see it. Both mistrusted, both misunderstood, but together they could find understanding.
Now that chance might be gone. She had turned her attention elsewhere. Unless… Yes, if he could find a way to drive a wedge between her and Severus, she would come back to him, unless she did something to get him in trouble. He would have to be careful. He didn't think she would tell anyone about the events that transpired tonight, but he couldn't be sure. She had a secret to protect, and he was almost positive she would not risk revealing that secret.
Severus was prowling the corridors, doing his part to maintain order and discipline. Without constant vigilance, the students would have surreptitious meetings in the empty classrooms. He rounded the corner and literally ran into the Muggle Studies professor, or rather, she ran into him. She seemed to be making a habit of it.
There was fear in her eyes as she looked up at him, but once she realized who it was, her demeanor changed. "Oh, Severus. I'm so glad to see you." She collapsed onto his chest.
He had no idea what to do. A vague memory in the back of his mind suggest he should put his arms around her, but all he could think of was the mess she was making of his fastidious appearance. He finally, tentatively and uncomfortably, placed his hands on her back. Oh, why had this happened to him? "What can I do for you?" he asked in the most compassionate voice he could muster.
Between sniffles she tried to explain what had happened, but she was in such an emotional state that it didn't come out clearly. "Thank you. He…he…would have done…and…and…"
Not only was she crying and making no sense, but now she was shaking as well. Severus was well aware that she was making quite a scene and he glanced around the corridors making sure they were still alone. This was definitely outside his area of expertise. "Perhaps I should take you to see Minerva?" That was a much better course of action than him trying to deal with her. Minerva was not only Deputy Headmistress, but also a woman and perhaps she could make sense of what was wrong with Athena.
She pulled away from Severus a little and wiped her eyes and nose on a handkerchief she pulled out of her pocket. "No, please. I don't want her to know." She hiccupped softly as she tried to stifle her tears. "I-I'll be all right." She turned away from him and started walking towards her quarters. She had lost control. For the first time in her life she had found herself a slave to her heritage.
Severus had a very puzzled look on his face. Women were very confusing and entirely illogical. He watched as she leaned against the wall and collapsed into another fit of tears. His sense of decorum took control. "Athena, come, let's get you out of the hallway. I believe your quarters are nearby?"
She let him lead her down the corridor and up the stairs to her quarters. "Thank you," she said softly as she dabbed at her tears. She did her best not to break out into hysterics again. She took a seat in the armchair by the fireplace. Emotionally, she was a train wreck in progress.
Severus pulled out his wand and lit a fire before pulling up a chair across from her. What he really wanted to do was leave her and find someone more capable of dealing with whatever had upset her, but he got the distinct impression she wanted him to stay. He sat in silence watching the fire, waiting for her to speak. All he could hear were her soft hiccups. If she didn't speak soon, he would be on his way. There was no point in him remaining if she wasn't going to say anything. From the corner of his eye, he noticed that she was pulling her cloak tightly about herself. Shifting uncomfortably, he finally determined an adequate amount of time had passed and that he could be on his way.
As he got up to leave, she said quietly, "Please, don't go. I don't want to be alone."
He settled back into his seat, not entirely sure why. "Is there something I can do for you? Get you something to drink, perhaps?" He looked around her sitting room to see if he saw anything alcoholic. It would probably do her some good.
She waved at a cabinet on the far side of the room. "Some cognac would be nice."
He was thankful for the excuse to get up. After pouring them both a generous helping of cognac he returned to the fire. He noticed that she had pulled her knees up to her chest and was gently rocking. "Anything else? Perhaps there is something you would like to tell me?" He tried to ask as gently as he could. The sooner he could get her to talk, the sooner he could be on his way. It's not that he didn't like her, it's that he was out of his element.
She took a gulp of her drink to try to gather the courage to tell him what she was thinking. Then a small voice in her brain told her that perhaps it wasn't a good idea to tell Severus. After all, he and Remus did not get along well in the best of times, and this was not the best of times. She took another gulp as she tried to decide what to do.
"Perhaps you had best sip it?" Severus suggested. Something had clearly upset her quite seriously.
She put the glass down on the side table to keep from downing the rest of its contents. "That might be a good idea." She laced her fingers in her lap and studied them for several quiet seconds. "Can I tell you something in confidence?"
That was a silly question. She knew that he was not a gossip. "Of course," he reassured her. Now his curiosity was starting to get the better of him. Never before had he had anyone confide in him. He was always the one from whom people kept secrets. Of course, he had his own secrets as well.
"I went out to get some air after our lesson. I…went up to the Astronomy Tower. It's so beautiful up there." She realized she was starting to babble, avoiding the truth. "Sorry. Remus came up to the top of the tower, too."
Severus stiffened in his chair. He suddenly had a very bad feeling about what she was going to say. He wanted to interrupt her, but realized now that she was talking it would not be a good idea.
"He…he." She turned her face away from Severus and squeezed her eyes shut trying to stop the tears that were threatening to flow. Why had she decided to tell him? It was so very complex and she wasn't sure she wanted to think about it.
"Did he hurt you?" Severus asked trying to keep his voice neutral. If Lupin had hurt her, the werewolf would pay. Hurting a woman was a despicable act that could not be tolerated.
She kept staring at the fire as she answered. "He talked at first. Then he got angry when I wanted to leave. That's when he…" She bit her finger to try to regain control and find the right words. So much had happened and so much of it had been beyond her control and it frightened her. Never before had she felt so helpless.
Severus leapt out of his seat and the chair fell backwards. He knew that Lupin had hung out with contemptible characters while a student, but he had never suspected Lupin would stoop so low. "Why that…" He turned toward the door, intent on making Lupin pay for his insolence.
Athena chased after him and grabbed his sleeve. "No, Severus. Please, don't hurt him. I…took care of it." He had jumped to the wrong conclusion. Remus' advances had not been completely unwelcome, at least she didn't think they were. It was so hard to remember clearly where Remus was concerned.
"And what, pray tell, did you do?" How could she have done anything to hurt Lupin?
"I…uh, fell off the tower," she said sheepishly, as she wrapped her arms around her shoulders.
"You fell off the tower?" He looked at her to make sure that his initial assessment that she was not injured was correct.
"Yes, well, I didn't hit the ground, though." She watched him arch an eyebrow. "I'm an Animagus. I turned into a falcon. After scaring him, I attacked him. He's got a few new cuts and scratches and a bit of bald spot on the top of his head."
Under different circumstances he would have found this humorous, but this was serious. "Perhaps you should go up to the infirmary and see Poppy after the scare you've been through," he suggested.
She returned to the fire and drained the last of her cognac. "No. I'll be all right. Couple of drinks and I'll be ready for bed." She couldn't tell anyone else. Too many questions would be asked and didn't want to give answers. She had no doubt that push come to shove, Remus would tell others what she was. No one ever looked at you the same once they knew. Women became more possessive of their men. Men either became fearful you were trying to seduce them or they felt it was open season on you. Her mother had told her all this and told her to keep who she was secret.
"Why tell me? You must have known how I would feel."
"I know." She moved over to the cabinet to refill her glass. "It's just that you are the closest friend I have here. Minerva is more like a mother to me and I didn't want to do anything to get Remus in trouble, with her being Deputy Headmistress and all. I…feel sorry for him."
Severus almost dropped his glass. "You feel sorry for him? He attacked you. Could have hurt you."
"I know, but it's not entirely his fault." It's because of what I am, she added silently. She had never anticipated he would be so susceptible to her Dryad heritage. No one else had ever behaved that way around her. Men had fawned over her in the past, but had never gone against her wishes, had never caused her to give in to her passions.
He grabbed her shoulder and spun her around to face him. "Do not defend him. He was a brutish cad who tried to take advantage of you. Nothing more."
"But, I…" A part of her wanted to explain, but like Remus, she knew how people reacted to part humans. For her it was worse since all nymphs were stereotyped as whores and sluts. Now she felt even worse for how she had treated Remus. She had done the same thing to him that he had done to her, kept a secret.
He misinterpreted the tears that were threatening to spill onto her cheeks. "Have you talked to him in any way that he could have construed you were still interested?"
"Well, no." She hadn't said anything, but she had reacted to him.
"Then you are not to blame. I will speak with him, warn him to leave you alone."
She grabbed his robes. "Please, no. I don't want him to know I told you. I can take care of this myself. I'll confront him tomorrow." Maybe. I don't know that I can be rational when I'm near him.
"You don't have to do that. Let me take care of it." He inwardly cursed Dumbledore for his soft spot where Gryffindors were concerned.
"Thank you, but, no. I need to let him know that he hasn't won. That I won't stand for his behavior. If you confront him it will look like I can't fight my own battles, that I'm weak."
"Are you sure you're all right?" he asked. He had no idea why he asked. It seemed like the right thing to do.
She nodded. "Thanks again for listening. And please, don't do anything to him. I can take care of myself and I think he's learned that."
Severus knew that Athena had told him not to confront Lupin, but he could not let this pass. If there was one thing he could not abide, it was a man that took advantage of women. His own father had been like that and he despised his father.
Lupin was not in his office. Severus thought that perhaps the coward was in his quarters, packing. He raised his hand to bang on the door and froze. He wanted Lupin to let him in and banging on the door would only reveal his anger. Instead he knocked firmly on the door.
He heard a muffled, "Who is it?" coming through the door.
"Lupin, open the door." He waited for the door to open. Once the door started opening he shoved through it. He spun Lupin around, forcing the door closed again. "I have just come from a discussion with Athena," he growled.
"Oh, did she say something about me?" Remus asked nervously.
Severus banged him against the door. "I think you know exactly what she had to say."
"So, she's confiding in you now?" Could his chance have come so soon? He had anticipated having to find a way to bring the subject up, but now Severus was here, confronting him.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Don't you see what she is? What she's doing? She's using you." He talked fast, trying to gain the upper hand. After all these years he still remembered what was most likely to anger Severus.
Severus tightened his grip. "No one uses me," he growled.
"Oh, no? Did you know she's a nymph?"
"Take that back. Do not try to defend your actions." Severus insisted, pressing Lupin harder against the door.
"Why? It's the truth. She is part Dryad. I followed her and have seen her with the Dryads in the Forbidden Forest. Why else would she have been with me? And why else would she be spending time with you? We are the only virile men here. She would naturally be drawn to us."
This was not going at all like Severus had planned. He was supposed to be warning Lupin to leave her alone, not receiving a lecture. "Could it just be that you are so desperate for female companionship that you had to manufacture a lie to explain your despicable behavior?"
"I'm not desperate, it's the truth. Ask her yourself. Perhaps she's been keeping other secrets as well. Do you see these scratches?" He pointed to his face. "She did these when she attacked me. An unprovoked attack."
"You lie. Her attack was justified." Lupin was just saying this to save his skin. He slammed Lupin against the door again to clear his mind. "If you ever come near her again, I will report what you did to Dumbledore. While he may accept you as a werewolf, he will not accept you trying to molest one of the staff."
"Molest her? Is that what she told you?" Remus couldn't help but laugh. "I assure you if there was any molesting done, she was to blame."
"People aren't blind. They've noticed that she has not talked to you in quite some time. I assure you, if she told Dumbledore you assaulted her, he would believe her. The only reason I have not gone to him already is because she feels sorry for you. Do not bother her again. Do I make myself clear?"
Remus realized pushing Snape any further would be a very bad idea. "Perfectly." The seeds of doubt had been sewn. Now he had only to reap the benefits.
Severus shoved him out of the way and swept out of the room.
Why had he confronted Lupin? He wasn't sure. His rage had initially been fueled by his memories of his father abusing his mother, but it had to be more. Could he possibly have feelings for her? No. That wasn't possible. But, then again, she was reasonably intelligent, even if she had chosen to teach Muggle Studies. That hadn't been her choice, though. And she was more adept at potions than any student he had had in a long time. Well, except Granger, but he hated to compare Athena to that know-it-all.
But what about what Lupin had said? What if she were part Dryad? Did that make a difference? Was she using some sort magic on him? No, he didn't think that likely. He was not susceptible to controlling magic. He had proven that to be true countless times. Who else could have successfully been a double agent? No one. No, she was not controlling him. Lupin must be imagining things trying to keep out of trouble.
What would he do about this revelation? He could confront her at their next lesson tomorrow, but then he would have to admit he had gone against her wishes. The other option would be for him do as Lupin had done and spy on her. Neither appealed to him, but had to know what she really was. If there was a chance she could affect his mind, he had to know. He would sleep on it and decide in the morning.
Athena paced her quarters as the events of the night replayed in her mind. The glass of cognac was forgotten in her hand as she tried to make sense of what had happened. Remus should never have acted the way he did. She should never have acted the way she did. Worse, he knew what she was. As she continued her analysis of the events, she realized how insistent Severus had been about wanting to confront Remus. What if he went against her wishes? She had no doubt that Remus would tell him she was part Dryad. And once Severus found out, he would surely be every bit as upset as Remus had been. She put down her glass and decided to tell Severus who she really was.
As she made her way to the dungeons, she was struck by how cold and unpleasant it was. She was beginning to wish she hadn't taken off her cloak. As there was ample room in the castle, she knew that Severus lived down here by choice. He was a very strange man and she realized how little she really knew about him.
She stood outside his door, her hand poised to knock, but paused. What was she going to say? Would it do more harm than good if he had not spoken with Remus? And if he had, was there any guarantee that he would listen to her, or would he lump her into the nymph stereotype and dismiss her?
Backing away from the door she leaned against the far wall and tried to decide how she was going to proceed.
A voice from the darkness said, "I would have thought you would be asleep by now." He wondered why she was here. Now that Lupin had told him of her Dryad heritage, he wondered if she really was here to bed him.
"There's something I need to tell you." She surmised that he had not been in his quarters because he had gone to see Remus, and from the look in his eyes, she believed it.
"Did you omit something from our earlier discussion?"
It was a probing question and she knew that there was no choice but to tell the truth. To do otherwise would probably alienate her last friend here. "Yes. Can we go inside? It's quite cold out here." Her dress did not provide much protection from the cold of the dungeons.
It seemed an innocent request, but everything he knew about nymphs was that they were highly manipulative and very good at getting what they wanted. Without saying a word he opened his door and left her to follow him into his quarters. He ignited the wood in the fireplace, but rather than sitting, decided to stand to retain his position of dominance. He crossed his arms and waited for her to speak.
Athena noticed he was not sitting and decided to also remain standing, but she moved closer to the fire to absorb the warmth. She tried to read the expression on his face, but found that she had no idea what he was feeling. "I have something to tell you that I have told very few people. Aside from my immediate family, only four others know what I am about to tell you. I ask that you keep this secret for me."
"That will depend on the secret. I will not keep any secret that could bring harm to others." That was not entirely true since he had mostly kept the secret of Lupin being a werewolf, but that was at Albus' request and she was not Albus Dumbledore.
"This is nothing that would harm anyone, but I feel I owe you the truth. I have already hurt one person by not revealing this secret." She looked down at her hands, playing with her fingers. She could feel Severus' piercing gaze as he waited for her to continue. She took a deep breath and said, "My grandmother is a Dryad, a wood nymph. This has never been important to anyone since it is such a small part of me. I've never really had it affect anyone. Until I got here."
Severus watched her, waiting to see if she had anything more to say.
She still couldn't read any emotion on his face. She desperately wanted to run away from that piercing gaze. It almost felt as though he were burning a hole into her soul. When he didn't respond, she felt compelled to keep talking, but looked away from his eyes. "It seems that somehow that little part of me that is Dryad affects Remus. I think that's why he acted as he did on the Astronomy Tower. I've never heard of a Dryad interacting with a werewolf before, so I don't know if werewolves are particularly susceptible, or if it's just him." She looked back up him. "That's why I didn't want you to tell anyone what happened to me. I knew he might use my heritage against me. And…" she finally looked away before she started crying again. "And I did the same thing to him that he did to me. And now I feel horrible about how I treated him. I got mad at him for not telling me he was a werewolf, but I never told him what I was. And I gave you the wrong impression of what happened. All because I was too pig-headed to tell the truth."
He relaxed his stance slightly, impressed that she had confided in him. He could tell that she had told the truth, finally. He felt that she might still be holding something back, but it was hard to tell with the all the guilt he could sense. "How did he find out?"
"He followed me down to the Forest. I've been spending a lot of time there since I found out what he was. Dryads are very simple and I forget about my worries when I'm with them. He would know that Dryads don't like human females and would have figured out that I must be like them to be accepted by them."
"Why tell me?"
"I already hurt one person by keeping this secret. I didn't want to lose another friend. And I didn't want you to find out from someone else." Though I suspect Remus has already told you, she thought.
Severus was momentarily stunned. He couldn't recall the last time someone had looked out for his feelings. "Thank you."
"Well, thank you for listening and not being judgmental. I guess I'll see you at breakfast. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," he replied. Just as she was reaching for the door he added, "I talked to Remus tonight. I know you asked me not to, but I couldn't let his behavior pass."
She slowly turned to face him. "I wish you hadn't, but I know why you did. I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression of what happened. You…didn't hurt him, did you?" She felt guilty again. She hoped that he hadn't hurt Remus. He wasn't responsible for his actions.
"No," he replied simply. He was still trying to process everything he had learned tonight. It seemed her previous account of the evening's events had not been entirely accurate.
"Well, thanks for looking out for me. In light of what I've just told you, I would understand if you didn't want to tutor me anymore."
"Unlike others, I will not hold your heritage against you. I will expect you tomorrow afternoon."
She smiled warmly, experiencing her first happiness of the night. "Tomorrow afternoon."
Severus watched her leave. She might not evoke the same reaction in him that she did in Lupin, but she did affect him.
In the last few days leading up to Christmas break, Severus and Athena confined their lessons to his office, even though she dreaded the cold in the dungeons. He had even begun to let her assist on a few of his experiments. "Why do you keep your office and quarters down here? There are more pleasant places in the castle."
"The cool temperatures here are good for the storage of my ingredients. I did not want to have my quarters far from my office as I conduct numerous sensitive experiments."
She rubbed her hands for warmth. "Well, I think the temperature here is more than cool. I'm surprised my ink hasn't frozen."
"You're exaggerating. As for the temperature, the castle gets quite warm in the summer. If it's too cold for you, you may leave."
"It's only a slight exaggeration, but I'll stay. I'll suffer a little for the sake of knowledge." She smiled at him.
"Don't do that," he said.
"Do what?"
"Smile at me like that."
"Why not?" she asked playfully.
"Your charms will not work on me," he said defensively.
"Severus, I'm not trying to charm you. Besides, it doesn't work that way. I'm just trying to be friendly. Is it wrong for me to want you as a friend?" She watched him watch her. "Oh, for Pete's sake! Get over the nymph thing already. Just because I like being with a man doesn't mean anything. I know plenty of women that are much bigger sluts."
"I never said that you were a slut."
She slammed her quill down on the table and lectured him sternly, "No, but you've been thinking it. Now you know why I don't tell anyone. There would be two basic groups of men," she used her fingers to illustrate the points, "one, those who think I'm a slut and will sleep with anyone and two, those who are convinced I'm trying to seduce them. I mean, honestly, even my mother doesn't really have any real effect on men. My father tells her no all the time. The only Dryads that affect men are those that have trees: real, full, Dryads. I assure you, I am not bound to a tree and I'm not trying to seduce you."
He hadn't expected her outburst. Most people were scared to talk back to him. "So, you have no romantic intentions towards me?"
He wasn't listening. He had totally missed the point. "Why are we even talking about this?" She had no desire to discuss her feelings for him. She wasn't even sure what they were. Half the time he drove her nuts, the other half of the time she was drawn to his intellect and dry wit.
"You began this discussion," he replied.
"I most certainly did not!" she said indignantly. "You accused me of trying to seduce you because I smiled."
"I believe you are mistaken," he replied.
She threw up her hands in exasperation. "It's getting late and I have some tests to grade. I won't have time for any more lessons before the break. We'll have to resume them next term."
"Next term? You won't be here over the break?" he asked. He had assumed that she would stay. It was selfish. She had family back in America and it would be reasonable for her to want to spend the holidays with them.
She shook her head. "No. I'm planning on doing some travel while I'm here. It's a lot easier to travel to the Continent from here than from the States."
He tried not to let his disappointment show. "Then we will resume after the term has started. Tuesday?"
"That'll be fine," she replied as she packed up her notes.
Normally, Severus enjoyed Christmas break, well, any break when there weren't students around. While there were students here over Christmas, they were not numerous enough to bother him. He normally took meals in his office or quarters. He enjoyed the unfettered access to the library, the time to conduct his experiments without the interruption of classes or grading homework, the peace and quiet. But something was missing this time.
On the second day of break, as he was taking notes on a particularly complex experiment, he realized what it was. He missed Athena's company. She would accept his barbs and likely as not retort with one of her own. She was also someone he could intellectually discuss his experiments with. While she didn't have as much experience, she had an excellent grasp of the properties of magical ingredients and given the books he had seen her check out of the library, she was becoming more knowledgeable. Several times she had made suggestions that had not occurred to him.
Well, no use getting attached to her. She was leaving at the end of the school year. Besides, she wasn't interested anyway. He forced his mind back to his experiment.
After Christmas dinner he stormed back to his rooms. Oh, he had put on a polite face at the meal. Far be it for him to ruin Christmas dinner. Not even if Albus had purposely planted that hideous vulture hat in that cracker. Would he ever live down that bloody Boggart? The worst part was, there was nothing he could do. Longbottom was already terrified of him and could be reduced to tears with ease. There was no satisfaction to be gained in terrorizing him further.
Of course Potter, Weasley and Granger had all been there. He had no doubt that all of Gryffindor would hear about the hat. The only thing that would have made it worse is if Lupin had been there. The thought of the whole ordeal made him scowl worse than normal.
The rest of the dinner had been pleasant enough. Strangely enough Sybil Trelawney had joined them. Her idiotic babbling about the number thirteen and the first one up would die and all her other dramatics had made dinner that much more unbearable. Her subject was even more useless than Muggle Studies. Of course, that was up until the moment Potter and Weasley left the table and she reminded everyone of her prediction. He had taken secret joy in hoping, for a moment, that woman's idiotic prediction would come true. Alas, he knew it was just wishful thinking. Those two seemed to lead a charmed life and could escape from any danger.
At least that was the last time he had to see any of them until term started. He could go back to sequestering himself in the dungeon. He had research to conduct and assignments to prepare that would keep him busy until the start of term.