Sorry I have been gone so long. Jaw surgery took a lot out of me and then I was just plain lazy and didn't get back to writing until today. I'll try to update as soon as I can, but I am just kind of making this story up as I go along. Let me know if you have any suggestions for the direction of this story, thanks!
I wake up and the room is mostly dark except for the flickering light of a talk show on tv, and there is the constant sound of oxygen being pumped through my mask. Phoebe is asleep with her head on my stomach and the rest of the room is empty. I have completely lost track of time and have no clue if it is AM, PM, or even what day it is. The one thing I know for certain is I need to get up and move around, I feel like I have been laying in this bed forever. I carefully try to get myself out of the bed without disturbing Phoebe or all the stuff I am connected to, and at my very first move Phoebe bolts awake which is very unusual since she sleeps like the dead.
Phoebe: Paige? What are you doing?
Paige: Just wanted to get up and move around. I need to go to the bathroom and the nurse said I could go for walks.
Phoebe: You should have woke me up to help you.
Paige: I'm 18 I think I can handle going to the bathroom.
Phoebe: You can't even breathe without pain stop being so stubborn and ask for help.
Paige: Whatever, I'm going to the bathroom you want to go for a walk when I'm done.
Phoebe: Sure, but take it slow.
I roll my eyes as I slowly walk into the bathroom. I have never been very dependent on anyone before and I hate the idea that I won't be able to escape my family's watchful eye for a couple of weeks. Last week I was running 5 miles a day not including soccer practice and now I am out of breath from walking to the bathroom, this is going to take some getting use to. I control my breathing before opening the door so Phoebe won't realize how tiring the walk to the bathroom actually was. I open the door to exit the bathroom and Phoebe is right on the other side waiting which startles me.
Paige: Ready?
Phoebe: You sure your up for a walk. We could stay here and talk or watch tv.
Paige: I'm going to be stu-stuck in this place for two weeks I'm going for a walk.
Phoebe: Just don't hurt yourself or mom will kill me for letting you go.
Paige: Don't worry. I'm allowed to go for walks, besides we aren't going far just to the end of the hallway and back.
I head out the door with Phoebe right a my side and slowly make my way down the hall. At the end of the hall there are a few chairs facing the window so you could look out at the lake. I sit down hoping to catch my breath and take in the view. I don't know what it is about this lake that makes me feel at peace. My mind wanders through everything that has happened since my graduation. I was in the best shape of my life, I was learning new things everyday, I was at the top of my class, and I was happy. Now I can't walk down the hallway without feeling winded and I will have to most likely miss next semester at Westpoint. Everything went so wrong, if only I didn't look so distracted when I was riding the train with Piper on Monday. Then everything would have remained the same. Victor would still be alive, I would be on my way back to West point, and my mom and sisters would still have their family.
Phoebe: Whatcha thinking about?
Paige: Nothing.
Phoebe: Paige, don't say that. I know your not thinking of nothing I can practically see the wheels turning. So whats up?
Paige: I just wished this turned out differently. This wasn't how it was suppose to turn out.
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Paige: I was ne-never going to tell you guys about Victor. And-and if I did you were never su-suppose to believe me. I wou-would have been ok with that.
Phoebe: Why would you think we wouldn't believe you? You and I have always been close and told each other everything. How could you keep this from me all these years.
Paige: We have...haven't been close in a long time. We hardly ever ta-talked during high school. In fact you ignored or made fun of me with the rest of your friends.
Phoebe: That's different, that was school, we hung out with different groups. You were always hanging out with the nerdy, smart people. And you were always spacing out and acting weird.
Paige: Who else should I have hu-hung out with? I was... I was the youngest kid in sch-school, no one knew me since I skipped a grade, and someone spread a rumor saying I was a crazy person kicked out of junior high. I-I didn't space out, I was bored in school and I had a lot on my mind.
Phoebe: You wouldn't have been bored if you hung out with the right people.
Paige: I was bored because school was too easy and all my friends were still in junior high. And if I would have pulled half the stu-stunts you did Victor would have killed me.
I looked over to Phoebe and she was looking out at the lake with tears in her eyes.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I was suppose to look out for you and I made everything worse. You had to deal with me at school and then come home to Victor. No wonder you were so miserable during high school.
Paige: Listen it wasn't your fau-fault, I was a big nerd and you didn't know about Victor. Besides all that made me stronger and... ma-made me who I am to-today.
Phoebe: You ok, you sound all out of breath.
Paige: Fi-fine just tired.
Phoebe: Let's head back to your room, can you walk?
I nod my head and we slowly make our way back to my room. The room is still empty and the lights are off as Phoebe helps me get back into bed and get comfortable. She places the annoying oxygen mask on me and to my surprise it actually seems to help my breathing a bit.
Phoebe: Well that was kinda scary, never thought I'd see you so out of breath from walking and talking. Keep the mask on until your breathing is back to normal, ok?
Paige: ok...what time is it? Where is every...one?
Phoebe: 9 PM and there at the condo getting everything together for this week. I'm not sure what that nurse gave you earlier, but it sure knocked you out. We tried to wake you up for dinner, but you were too out of it to eat and fell right back asleep. By the way your backpack is over there and if your hungry just let me know and I'll get you something.
Paige: Thanks. So is everyone going to the funeral?
Phoebe: I think so, I know Prue doesn't want to but she'll go for Aunt Mary.
Paige: So how are you holding up?
Phoebe: Me? Fine.
Paige: Really?
Phoebe: It hasn't really hit me yet, ya know. Everything has just been so crazy all week, your hurt, and I just...I think the funeral is going to be hard. When I see our house, family pictures, and family and friends on Monday I think it will finally sink in.
I reach over and give Phoebe a hug as she breaks down in tears and I pull her on to the bed. I hold her as the past week finally catches up with her and try to console her. I tell her that everything will be ok and that she isn't alone. Eventually she falls asleep in my arms with a tear streaked face while I try to convince myself that everything will be ok.