After a very long night that seemed like it would never end the first rays of sunlight broke the horizon. I absent-mindedly ran my hand through Phoebe's hair and stared out the window watching the colors of the sky change as the sun climbed higher thinking about what my next steps would be. I had come up with several ideas through out the night, but the only thing I really wanted to do was head back to Westpoint. I wanted to put this whole mess behind me and get back to my life and make sure that Victor was not going beat me even in death. Phoebe mumbles a few incoherent words and snuggles in closer to my body. I rub her back trying to make her feel better hoping she will keep on sleeping so I can continue to think in silence. My efforts seem to do the exact opposite as she shifts in bed yet again and I can tell she is slowly waking up. Wanting to be left alone I close my eyes pretending to be asleep.
Phoebe: I know your awake Paige, stop faking.
Paige: I'm not faking just closing my eyes for a bit. Feeling better?
Phoebe: Yeah. Thanks. What time is it?
Paige: 7am
Phoebe: Well they should be here soon, I hope they bring breakfast because I'm starving.
Paige: Yeah, me too. So what are your plans today, going shopping?
Phoebe: No, I was going to hang out with you.
Paige: You don't need to I'll be fine by myself. You should get out of here and go shopping like you and mom planned. I wouldn't stay here if I didn't have to.
Phoebe: I like hanging out with you, I don't need to go shopping.
Paige: Since when did you only go shopping when you needed to. Pheebs this place is boring get out of here and do something today.
Phoebe: Why, don't you want me here any more?
Paige: I-I just want you to get out of this place for a bit, you have been here for what almost 3 days now.
Phoebe: Ok, I'll think about it. Did you sleep at all after I fell asleep?
Paige: No, guess I'm getting back to my old self again.
Phoebe: Paige, you shou...
Prue: Morning guys.
Piper: We brought breakfast so I hope your hungry.
Phoebe: Starved, where's mom?
Prue: Talking to the doctor.
Paige: What about?
Prue: You.
Piper: Want a muffin, Paige?
Paige: Yes, please.
Prue: So how was your night? We came back with dinner yesterday, but you were still out of it from the meds.
Phoebe: She woke up around 9, we went for a short walk, and then came back here and talked until I fell asleep. Did you guys bring drinks or should I hit the vending machine?
Piper: Vending machine. Here is a few dollars get everyone something. I'll take a diet coke.
Prue: I'll come with Pheebs, I need coffee.
Paige: Can you just refill this pitcher of water for me. Thanks.
Prue grabs the pitcher and Phoebe and her head out of the room. I continue to stare at the door after I watched my sisters leave the room completely forgetting that Piper is still sitting next to me.
Piper: Paige, you ok?
Paige: What? Yeah, I'm fine.
Piper: So how was Pheebs last night?
Paige: She was ok, I think everything finally hit her last night. She was a little upset, but then she fell asleep and she just woke up. I think she needs to get out of here for a bit, someone should take her shopping or something like that.
Piper: I'll see what I can do. How about you?
Paige: I'm just bored out of my mind. I hope I'm only in here a week and not two.
Piper: We brought your backpack last night and if you want anything else just let us know and we'll get it.
Paige: Thanks.
After a few minutes Phoebe and Prue come in with our drinks, and it looks like Phoebe has been crying. I give Piper a questioning look and she just shrugs her shoulders. We eat breakfast in silence each lost in our own thoughts when mom and Dr. Taylor come in. Mom comes over to the bed and gives me a quick hug and says good morning.
Dr. Taylor: Morning Paige, looks like you had a rough day yesterday. How are you feeling today.
A nurse enters the room and walks towards the iv bags. As I answer the doctors question I can feel everyone's eyes on me and I become very uncomfortable.
Paige: Fi-fine.
Dr. Taylor: Good. I'm going to check you over, make sure you're making good progress.
Paige: Alright.
Mom: Lets go girls. We'll be in the waiting room, Paige.
I nod my head and my family leaves the room. The doctor then asks me a bunch of questions and takes a look at my back. He says a bunch of things in medical jargon to the nurse and she carefully makes notes in my chart.
Dr. Taylor: Everything looks good, your lung seems to be healing nicely. I'm guessing you will be out of here before the end of the week. The worst of the pain is over with, but it will still be painful to cough. I'd expect coughing to be a bit painful for a couple weeks. Any questions?
Paige: Could you write me a doctors note to excuse me from attendance at Westpoint.
Dr. Taylor: Sure, remind me on Monday and I'll call the student health place and let them know what is going on.
Paige: Thanks.
Dr. Taylor: No problem. I'll tell your family they can come back in.
I nod my head and the nurse finishes her notes and begins adjusting the iv drips and the cleans the wound on my back and checks the tube going into my chest. Right as she left the room my mom and sisters come back in taking seats all around my bed.
Paige: He said looks like I can be out of here by the end of the week. Thank god because it is boring being stuck in here and I'll be able to take my finals for this semester.
Mom: Thats great sweetie. Since we are all in the same room I wanted to ask you guys something. What do you think about me selling the house in San Fransisco and moving out here?
This is quite a surprise and I can tell I'm not the only one thinking this as my sisters each have there mouths hanging open looking as if they're are searching for something to say. I decide to break the tension in the room and hopefully bring my sisters out of their trance.
Paige: Fine with me, where you going to move to?
Mom: I was thinking somewhere around here so I could be closer to all of you.
Paige: Well I think that is a good idea, how about you guys?
Piper: Yeah, it would be great living closer to you mom.
Prue: If it is what you want I think you should do it. I'm a little shocked that none of us will be living in San Fransisco, but I like the idea of us being closer to each other.
Mom: How about you Phoebe?
Phoebe: Could I still live with you during breaks?
Mom: Of course. I'd get a 4 bedroom place, big enough for you everyone to stay if they wanted.
Phoebe: Then I think it's a great idea.
Mom: I'm glad you guys like the idea because I have already started looking around here and a realator might have found a house in the suburbs.
Prue: That was fast. How long have you been thinking about this?
Mom: Since Tuesday, after I found out about Victor I didn't want to move back there with him.
Piper: Well you can stay with us until the deal goes through on the house.
Mom: Thanks.
Paige: Have you started selling the house yet?
Mom: No, but when we go back tomorrow I'm going to start packing everything up. I might stay a couple extra days to make sure it's all packed before coming back. Is that ok Paige?
Paige: Yeah.
Mom: I'll pack up your stuff since you can't come with us tomorrow.
Paige: I do-don't have anything there.
Mom: Sure you do, you hardly took anything with you to Westpoint.
Paige: No, I packed up everything I wanted to keep and moved it out when I left in June. I wasn't ever going to move back in and I knew he would trash my stuff if I left it.
Mom: But there is still stuff in your room.
Paige: Just generic stuff like posters, books, and old toys, but nothing I want to keep. You can trash whatever is in my room I already have all my stuff.
Mom: So where are all your things that you moved out?
Paige: At my dorm room.
Prue: Wait I thought mom said you hardly took anything with you when you left.
Paige: I mailed a bankers box of stuff before I left in June.
Piper: A bankers box, those aren't big at all.
Paige: Well I didn't have a lot of stuff. He kinda trashed a lot of my things over the years, so I didn't have a lot of things. I just had enough to make it look like I had things when you guys came in my room.
Mom: We'll get you knew stuff for your new room.
Paige: I'm...I'm not moving back in with you guys.
Phoebe: What!
Prue: Paige you need to live somewhere.
Paige: I have a place at Westpoint and in the summer I'll rent an apartment.
Piper: Don't be ridiculous you can move back here with us when you are out of school.
Prue: Mom said she was getting a place big enough for all of us and we want to see you.
Paige: Well I want to live alone. My whole life I have lived with family and nothing good has ever come out of it, so now I want to be alone!
Mom: Paige, it will be different now, he's not going to be around. I want you to live with me, I love you.
Phoebe: Come on Paige it will be fun living together again. I'll be at mom's and we can hang out with Piper and Prue all the time.
Paige: It was never very enjoyable to live at home to begin with and I'm done trying to live in a place I don't want to be. I'll visit you guys and we can hang out then, but I don't want to live with family anymore.
Piper: Paige we love you so much and we would never hurt you, you don't have to worry about that any more. You'll be safe at home.
Paige: I'll be safe at school too. I don't see what the big deal is, I mean if you had never found out about Victor you wouldn't care if I never moved back so why is it different now.
Prue: Because now we know why you don't want to live at home and we want you to know how it feels to be loved at home.
Paige: Well I tried that for 17 years, you had 17 years to make me feel loved at home and it never happened so now I'm doing something for myself. It's not my fault that you waited until now to want to make me feel loved at home. You had to have known that I wasn't happy for all the years and never once did you try and change that. You never tried to figure out what was wrong, I was just an annoying little sister or the bad seed daughter. So tell me why now is any different then before, and if the answer is because now we know about Victor I don't want to hear it. I don't want your pity and I don't need to be loved just because you feel bad for everything Victor did. I'll be just fine on my own, in fact I know I'll be better off than I was the first 17 years of my life.
I looked at each of my sisters and my mom waiting for a response and they looked as shocked as could be. I myself was pretty surprised I said all those things, and I'd feel guilty if I didn't know all of what I said was true. The fact was I couldn't remember a time when I felt completely safe and loved at home. All I remember is being very insecure about my place in the family and always having to tread carefully to makes sure I didn't upset anyone. I look back up at my family and I can see that they are now crying and trying to think of a response.
Phoebe: I-I'm sorry. I know I always was mean to you at sch-school and ignored you at home. I was stupid. Please don't leave us I need you and I want to make it up to you. I love you Paige, and I'm sorry I never showed it before.
Paige: I know you love me Pheeb's and I love you, but I'm not moving back in because you need me. I promised myself when I moved out I would never move back and that I would start doing things for myself. I know I could never feel comfortable living at home and I don't want to feel that way, I want to know I'm living somewhere where I'm wanted.
Mom: Paige, you are wanted and you are loved very much by all of us. I know we haven't done a good job of showing you that up until know, but we want to try. Please think it over while we are in San Fransisco and we can talk about it when we get back.
Paige: I'll think about it.
Mom: Thank you sweetie. Now you just relax and try to get better. We are going to go and pack and then leave for San Fransisco and we'll see you on Wednesday. Give us a call if you need anything or want to talk.
My mom then gives me a big hug and whispers how much she loves me in my ear. Then each of my sisters gives me a tearful hug goodbye and they leave the room.