Chapter 35 by Abbot & Natters
Sam's POV
The first thing I'm aware of as I come around is the smell in the darkened tent. It smells of sex.
There's someone breathing softly nearby, the scratching on a notepad. A quiet "For crying out loud!" confirms what my other senses are telling me as I open my eyes. It's the Colonel. He rips a piece of paper off a notepad and chucks it behind him in defeat. His hands run over his face and into his hair in frustration.
I take in his appearance. He's dressed in the trousers of his BDU's, but his chest…
/Crunches/ floats through my memory as I ogle the bare torso in front of me. There are various scars from old battles and a few deep scratches that look… suspiciously fresh. Like finger nails.
"Holy Hannah!" The past few days memories come back in a rush. We…
His head whips around to look at me, and our eyes meet.
"Hey Sa...Carter," he says softly.
"Sir."
He flinches and then forces a smile as he looks just over my shoulder. "Feeling more like yourself?"
"Yes." Look at me Jack, please?
"Good. I'll get the Doc."
NO! "Wait! Please?"
He stops, looking down at his feet. "How much do you-"
"Everything."
And I do. From the way he held my hand when I was delirious, to the way he whispered my name as we came.
"Oh."
God, I have never seen him blush before. Who knew he could do all those marvelous things with…
"Yeah."
I try to sit up, but my body refuses to co-operate. I sense the moments hesitation before he puts his hands on mine to pull me up.
"Thanks."
"You okay?"
"A little sore. It's been… uhh… a while."
"Right. Sorry."
Don't look away from me Jack, not now.
"It's okay… What were you writing?"
"Stuff. I'll go get the Doc."
If I wasn't so sad that would bring a smile to my face. Classic Jack O'Neill. He's pushing me away again.
"Jack?"
"I'm glad you're okay Sam," he says so softly I almost didn't hear it as he leaves the tent… leaving several pieces of screwed up paper behind. I bite my lower lip as I contemplate whether I should invade his privacy or not.
Jack's POV
Dear Sam...
No, that's not it. I tear it the page off, crumple it and toss it across the tent. There goes number four. I curse, rack my mind. This used to be easier, you know. I can't take my eyes off her. She' lying there, sleeping like a baby. She's so beautiful...and I know I'll probably never seen her again outside of a courtroom. I start again.
To Major Samantha Carter, USAF...
Nope, that's pretty bad too. I shoot that one into a corner of the tent. I can't think straight. I hear Carter's exclamation, look up. She's holding her head, looking...surprised. Very surprised. I can't look her in the eye.
"Hey Sa...Carter," I manage. She's caught my eyes with her. Goddammit, I can practically see everything coming back.
"Sir."
Her voice was all but clinical. It hurt me to hear her that way.
"Feeling more like yourself?"
"Yes."
I couldn't look her in the eyes after what we had done. It was...animalistic. Nothing more. I felt angry and disappointed in myself for letting things get to this point.
"Good. I'll get the Doc."
"Wait! Please?"
The familiar sight of my boots. I can't look at her. I can hear the pain in her voice. I've betrayed seven years of trust and friendship.
"How much do you-"
"Everything."
"Oh."
I can't stand it. I want out. She deserves better.
"Yeah."
She's struggling. I can't help it, I reach down and help her up.
"Thanks."
"You okay?"
"A little sore. It's been… uhh… a while."
I cringe. I hurt her in every way possible, great.
"Right. Sorry."
"It's okay… What were you writing?"
I've got many back to her now. I can make it. I can make it.
"Stuff. I'll go get the Doc."
"Jack?"
"I'm glad you're okay Sam," I manage, standing up. I've never been so ashamed in my life. I'm halfway across the village when it strikes me. I use my best penmanship, write down all the words as they come to me. I walk up to Janet, hand her the note, folded in half, before she can say anything.
And then I'm gone. I head out into the wild to think about what I've done, shouldering the webbing. I need the time. Hell, what are they going to do? Courtmartial me again?