I bolt awake gasping for breath and covered in cold sweat. All of a sudden a pair of arms go around me and I jump up in surprise backing away from the unknown pair of arms. I back up until I hit the corner of the room and I slide down the wall covering my head with my hands awaiting the beating to come.
Pheobe: Paige? It's me, it's Pheobe.
I slowly look up from my position and see Pheobe looking rather scared at me. I take a deep breath taking in my surroundings realizing that I must have been dreaming again.
Pheobe: Paige, you awake now?
Paige: Yeah, what time is it?
I stand up and make my way towards the bathroom and away from Pheobe's stare.
Pheobe: Its only 1, you only slept for a few hours. What happened, bad dream.
Paige: Yeah. I'm going to take a shower and get ready for the day. I'll be out soon.
Pheobe: Fine but then you and I are going to relax on the couch.
I take a shower hoping to wash away the memories and calm myself down before having to be under the watchful eyes of my family. I walk out into the living room to see Pheobe sitting on the couch watching The Interpreter. She pauses the movie and looks at me intensly.
Pheobe: You look tired why don't you go back to bed.
Paige: Nope I'm good.
Pheobe: So you going to tell me what happened back there.
Paige: Just a bad dream, don't worry about it.
Pheobe: That was more than a bad dream. I was trying to wake you up for atleast a few minutes and then when you finally did you hid in the corner.
Paige: I didn't know that was you, it freaked me out and I backed away that is all.
Pheobe: What was the dream about?
Paige: It was memory, ok! And before you ask I don't want to talk about it.
Pheobe: Fine, but you are not going out. You are staying here and will relax since you won't sleep.
Paige: Fine.
I sit down on the couch and watch the movie with Pheobe trying desperately to stay awake. Piper and Prue come home at the same time as I am teaching Pheobe how to play poker. They both come over and give Pheobe and I hugs hello.
Prue: Mom should be here soon, her flight landed about thirty mintutes ago.
Piper: I'm just going to order a pizza for dinner.
Paige and Pheobe: Ok.
Piper and Prue both come back into the living room and watch Pheobe and I play.
Paige: Want me to deal you guys in.
Piper: No that's ok. How you feeling Paige, you look pale.
Paige: Good.
I deal Pheobe and I some cards and as I do so I can feel everyones eyes on me.
Pheobe: She had a nightmare earlier.
Paige: Pheobe.
Pheobe: What you did, not to mention you can't sleep.
Piper: You aren't sleeping.
Paige: Can we not talk about this right now.
Pheobe: She wouldn't tell me anything about it, and she was really freaked out when she woke up.
Paige: Pheebs shut up!
Prue: Paige, knock it off. Why don't you tell us what happened.
Paige: Like I told Pheobe earlier I'm fine, so lets just move on to something else.
Pheobe: No, I've kept quiet all afternoon and now I want to know.
I realize that they are not going to let this go for a while so I stand up and head into Piper's room to grab a sweatshirt and go for a walk.
Prue: Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you.
Paige: I'm not some little kid you get to boss around and I don't want to talk about this.
Prue: Well thats too bad because you are in my house and I do!
Piper: Prue knock it off.
After hearing what Prue has said I grab my things and throw them in my bag. I knew this would happen and they wonder why I don't want to live here. I zip my bag shut and Piper comes in the room and shuts the door.
Piper: Don't leave Paige, we want you to stay.
Paige: I can't.
Piper: Where are you going to go?
Paige: I'll figure something out, don't worry.
I grab my stuff and leave the room with Piper not far behind me. As I enter the living room I see my mom being greeted by Pheobe and Prue. Great now I'm going to have to deal with mom before I leave. Piper puts her hand on my back and guides me towards mom. With my bags still in hand my mom gives me a big hug.
Mom: How were your tests sweetie.
Paige: Good, all A's.
Mom: Going somewhere?
Paige: Yeah, I'll give you guys a call when I get settled.
Pheobe: Don't leave, we don't have to talk about the nightmare.
Mom: Whats going on here?
Piper: Something is wrong with Paige and she doesn't want to talk about it and Prue pulled the whole my house my rules thing.
Mom: Paige is it anything serious?
Paige: No.
Mom: Prue I appreciate you letting us stay here, but I'm her mother not you. Paige why don't you leave your stuff here and go up to roof if you want to get some air, but you are not to leave the building.
Knowing that I don't have anywhere else to go and that I do need to clear my head I drop my bags and head for the door. I walk up the 4 flights of stairs to the roof and walk to the corner and look at the skyline trying to catch my breath. I think about what I'm going to do until summer classes begin. I need to find a job so I can get a place of my own and not worry about other people's rules and the consequences of breaking them. As I'm thinking of jobs I could possibly get I hear someone else step on to the roof. I turn and see that it is Prue and she is holding my coat.
Prue: Thought you might be cold so I brought your coat.
I nod my head and whisper, thanks.
Prue takes a seat on one of the benches and stares off into the distance.
Prue: You and I are a lot a like you know.
Paige: How?
Prue: We each try to handle everything alone and never know when it is time to ask for help.
Paige: If I didn't handle things on my own I could have lost everything.
Prue: Thats not true anymore and you still won't except help.
Paige: Because you can't help with this.
Prue: Yes we can. Just open up about what is going on.
Paige: I don't want you guys to know the details of what happened. He was your dad.
Prue: You're our sister and whatever you say about Victor isn't going to ruin the image of him we already have. We could even find someone else for you to talk to.
Paige: I'm not crazy, I don't need a shrink.
Prue: I know but this is more than anyone could handle alone. Lets start out simple, how are you physically? And I swear to god if you answer fine I'll...
Paige: The cast is driving me crazy and doing everything left handed is getting pretty old. I just walked up four flights of stairs and I was out of breath, but it is getting better.
Prue: When does the cast come off?
Paige: First week of January.
Prue: So why do you look like the living dead?
Paige: I...I don't sleep much
Prue: You never have so what is different.
Paige: I go days without sleeping and when I finally do fall asleep it is only for a few hours.
Prue: Dreams?
I look away completely ashamed that something so childish is keeping me from sleeping. I'm not 5 anymore I should be able to deal with nightmares.
Prue: Paige?
Paige: Yeah.
Prue: It's ok if its because of dreams.
Paige: They won't go away. Everytime I close my eyes he's there.
Prue walks over towards me and I take a step back.
Prue: Squirt, I swear that telling us about the dreams will help, I mean it couldn't hurt.
Paige: I was fine before I told you guys about Victor and look what telling you did.
Prue: God dammit Paige this is killing you please talk to us.
I stare off at the skyline thinking, 'I don't care' and that scares me. I went from having goals and working to achieve them to being lost and not knowing what to do. I've never felt so lost or scared before. I look at Prue and decide that I can't do this alone and that I need help.
Paige: I don't know what to do anymore, everything is going wrong. I tell you guys about Victor which ends up getting me shot and him killed and now Westpoint is making me take a semester off so I can't go back there. I've spent the last eight years trying to get away from home and the moment I do you guys find out why and won't let me go. You're right this is killing me and the scary thing is I'm past caring.
Prue comes over and gives me a hug, she wispers in my ear, "don't worry squirt we'll help you." I nod my head and we make our way back into the condo.