I'm completely stiff from the postion I have been laying in and I squirm around to get more comfortable and continue sleeping. As I slowly regain my senses I realize I have my head on someones chest and that someone is running their hand through my hair. I keep my eyes closed and concentrate on the sounds of the room trying to figure out who is in my room. Too tired to keep my senses on full alert I relax and try to fall back asleep but just before I do I hear hushed voices start a conversation.
Prue: She still asleep?
Piper: I think so, it felt like she woke up but I think she fell back asleep.
Prue: Good she needs it.
Piper: Where is Pheebs?
Prue: Passed out on the couch.
Piper: If you get her I'll tell you what Paige and I talked about, I only want to go through it once.
Prue: Let me see if I can wake her up.
The hand running through my hair stops and Prue leaves the room to try and wake Pheobe up. Moments later I feel weight shift on the bed as someone sits by my feet. With my head on Piper's chest I can hear her heart beat speed up and I can feel her chest rise and fall dramatically as she takes a deep breath.
Piper: Well she talked to me for a little bit and then I think between the drugs and her lack of sleep she fell asleep.
Pheobe: What did she say?
Piper: She didn't want to talk about it so I just would randomly ask questions. We mostly stuck to why she recently thought about suicide.
Prue: And?
Piper: She thinks she killed Victor and then her whole life has been turned upside down from the shooting, and these nightmares aren't helping at all. It seems everytime she sleeps she has them.
Pheobe: She have any tonight?
Piper: No, but she has only been asleep for a couple hours.
Dang only a couple of hours it felt a lot longer than that.
Prue: Wait why does she think she killed Victor. I mean you told her she didn't, right?
Piper: Of course I told her it wasn't her fault. She is adament that her telling us about the abuse triggered the shooting, therefore making it her fault.
Pheobe: Well that is just stupid. Her telling us was the best thing that she has done, I wish she would open up more.
Prue: I agree I mean if she would have told us about the abuse sooner maybe we could have helped.
Piper: You guys it wasn't that simple. It started when she was ten and we were pretty much very involved in our own lives. I mean Prue you were a Senior in highschool and I was a Junior, we were both thinking about college, moving out, parties, and our own issues. Pheobe was 12 and was into junior high stuff and boys. None of us hung out with Paige, hell none of us talked to her except in passing, we were just in very different stages of our lives. No wonder she felt that we wouldn't believe her if she told us. It is our fault for not noticing the changes in her behavior when she was younger and then never picking up on the fact that we had a severly depressed sister as she got older.
Prue: Did she show any warning signs?
Piper: Does it matter we would have missed them if she did.
Pheobe: Oh god, you know when she was talking about why she attemped suicide and said how she was hated at school and then came home to the same thing, that-that was my fault.
Prue: How could that be your fault?
Pheobe: I told all the kids at school that she was a freak and would start rumors about her. I hated the fact that she skipped a grade and now tagged along with me to some of my classes and she was doing better than me. And when we would come home I wouldn't let up on her and would kick her out of the room so I could have my friends over and we wouldn't have her hanging around. Oh god I made her life so hard that she attempted suicide.
I hear Pheobe start crying and the weight again shifts on the bed as Prue must of gone over to comfort her. I think about telling her it wasn't her fault but decide that its true, Pheobe did make my life difficult and it is about time she realize that. I again shift my position trying to get comfortable and I eventually end up laying on my stomach with my head pretty much burried beween a pillow and Piper's side.
Prue: Pheebs calm down sweetie your going to wake Paige and besides you are not the main cause of Paige's problems. You had no idea that she was having other problems and you were just acting like a typical jealous, older sister.
Pheobe: I should have known, we're close in age and we shared a room our whole lives. How could I have not seen the scars and bruises.
Piper: Pheebs she just got really good at hiding things. Prue never knew about my problems until well after I sought help and we were much closer than you and Paige. It wasn't because Prue wasn't paying enough attention to me it was because I made an effort to hide it from her, from everyone.
Pheobe: Well from now on things are going to be different between me and Paige. I'm going to be nicer and really make an effort to help her.
Prue: Just make sure you don't over do it, we don't want to make her feel uncomfortable.
Pheobe: I'm glad she can't go back to Westpoint next semester that gives us more time to spend with her.
Piper: Me too, but I'm concerned about that as well. She focused on Westpoint to take her mind off of everything else so what is she going to do now to replace that focal point.
Prue: Don't worry we'll help her and keep an eye on her. We just need to keep her talking to atleast one of us so we can help.
Piper: You guys aren't mad she chose me are you?
Pheobe: No and it makes the most sense that she picked you. You know what she is going through with the suicide thing and besides you two always got along the best when we were younger.
Prue: I agree but you make sure you come to us if it becomes too much. She said you could tell us things and we don't want you to take this all on yourself.
Piper: I'm sure I'll take you up on the offer if I ever get her to talk about the rapes.
I again feel a hand running through my hair and then someone's hand run down my back and pause over the gunshot wound. I then feel my shirt being pulled up so whoever can see the bandage. I then start to squirm wondering what is going on.
Paige: What?
Prue: Its ok squirt you just bled through the bandage, I'm just looking.
Paige: Mmm, I probably just stretched out or something and opened it up. Just leave it, it'll be fine.
Pheobe: No we should call mom.
Paige: No we shouldn't this happened in the hospital a few times, I know what to do. I just need to put a fresh bandage over it.
Piper: Fine. Stay put Paige, Pheobe grab the stuff and we'll rebandage it.
Paige: I can do it myself.
Prue: Don't you move we'll get it. Mom left some instructions on the fridge I'll grab those.
Everyone goes off to get everything leaving Piper and me alone. I turn my head towards her and she brushes my hair from my face. I shift my right arm from under my body to draping it over Piper's body.
Prue: Well mom's note says we have to clean it as well not just bandage it.
Paige: Damn.
Pheobe: Here is the stuff.
Prue: Ok I'll do it Paige but you need to tell me what to do.
Paige: Just take the banadage off, wipe the wound with the alcohol, then just re bandage it.
Piper: Pheebs why don't you watch in case you have to do this when we aren't here.
Prue: Alright this is going to...
Paige: Sting, yeah I got that, lets just get this over with.
She wipes the wound with the alcohol and I grit my teeth trying to ignore the pain. Pheobe grabs my left hand and I squeeze hers in return. Prue quickly puts a bandage over it and then puts everything away. I take a few deep breaths in an effort to relax myself.
Pheobe: You ok?
Paige: Yeah, that just hurts a lot.
Piper: Think you can fall back asleep?
Paige: What time is it?
Pheobe: 3 am you want your pain meds.
Paige: No I hate taking those and its too soon anyway.
Prue comes back in the room holding a glass of water and two pills.
Prue: Here take these.
Paige: What are they, its too soon to take more of the pain meds.
Prue: Don't worry it is just tylenol PM. It should reduce some of the pain and hopefully help you get some more sleep.
Paige: Thats ok I'll be fine and I'm not too tired anyway.
Piper: Paige please just take them you know you need help to sleep and this will help.
I sit up and look at Prue's out stretched hand and then back down at my own hands.
Paige: Maybe I don't want to sleep and not be able to wake up because of the drugs.
Pheobe: One of us could stay in here with you.
Paige: I'm not a baby I can sleep by myself I'm just not tired.
Prue: Come on tomorrow is Sunday and we all have to wake up early to take mom out to breakfast.
Paige: Fine you guys go to bed, I'll go to bed when I'm tired.
Prue: God you're frustrating you never went to bed as a kid either. I'm going to bunk with Pheebs and Piper will stay in here. I'll put the pills on the nightstand take them if you want. Come on Pheebs lets get some sleep.
Paige: Wow not too hard to piss off Prue is it.
Piper: She is just concerned and doesn't know how to show it very well, much like someone else I know.
Paige: haha
Piper: Alright since you aren't going to sleep lets talk some more.
Paige: How about you sleep here and I'll go read or something in the living room.
Piper: Nope it is late and you need to sleep so it is take the pills and sleep or start talking.
Paige: Fine I'll sleep with out the pills.
Piper: You and I both know you won't so here take them.
She hands me the pills and I stare at them like there poison. After a few seconds of hesitation I take the pills and pray for a night without dreams.
Piper: Good now lets lay back down and we'll both get some much needed sleep.
I scoot over to the other side of the bed, away from Piper, and lay on my stomach and stare at the wall waiting for the drugs to kick in. Piper knowing I need a little space just rolls over and drifts off to sleep. I slowly start to have trouble keeping my eyes open and my mind starts to wander off and before I know it someone is shaking me.
Piper: Paige it is time to get up. Missy we have to get ready for breakfast with mom.
With much effort I slowly open my eyes and then close them. My head is pounding from the amount of drugs probably coursing through my body. I keep my eyes close and decide that getting up is not an option and start to drift back to sleep.
Piper: Paige come on we both have to get ready, Pheebs and Prue are waiting on us.
Paige: Go 'way.
Prue: Piper just go and get ready and I'll wake her up.
Piper: Thanks.
I hear Piper leave the room and a few seconds later the weight on the bed shifts as if someone is sitting right in front of me. I roll away from the person hoping to continue my sleep.
Prue: Squirt we're taking mom out to breakfast now get up.
Paige: Tired.
Prue: Paige, now!
My body tenses up when she starts shaking me awake in combination with her stern voice. I jump out of bed quickly and stay out of Prue's reach as I groggily look around the room for an escape. Prue walks over to my dresser and takes out some clothes and hands them to me
Prue: Good now get ready we're leaving in 30 minutes
I take the clothes and head into the master bath and get ready for the day. I look at myself in the mirror and my eyes are all glassy and bloodshot. I feel a little light headed but I push that feeling to the side and go into the living room where my sisters are impatiently waiting.
Pheobe: Finally.
Prue: Alright lets go.
Making sure to stay away from Prue I follow them down to the car and hop in the backseat. All the way to the restraunt I struggle to stay awake and a couple of times feel my head bob as if I was just falling asleep. When we pull up to the hospital Piper moves to the backseat forcing me to sit in the middle as mom climbs into the front seat.
Mom: Morning girls
Piper, Pheobe, Prue: Morning.
Not really up for talking I kind of just nod my head and again try to keep my eyes open by looking around at everything. We get to the restraunt and I quietly sit in the booth between Piper and my mom. I look at the menu and can't even concentrate enough to read through it and figure out what I want so I just order the same thing Piper does. Luckily we don't have to wait long for the food to come and I pick at my breakfast feeling too tired to even eat. After a few minutes I stare at something on the table a fall asleep.
Mom: Paige whats wrong? ... Paige?
Paige: Huh?
Mom: Whats wrong?
Paige: Noth-nothing.
Prue: She is just angry that we made her get up and come to breakfast. She was even harder to wake up than Pheobe.
Pheobe: Yeah really I at least woke up on the 5th try.
Paige: Leave me alone you made me take those tylenol PM.
Prue: You took those? Piper?
Piper: Yeah I got her to take them.
Mom: What time did you take them?
I shrug my shoulders having no clue as to when I was finally convinced to take them.
Mom: When!
I jump a bit startled at the anger in my mom's voice and start getting a little worried because I have no idea what the answer to her question is. Luckily Piper answers for me.
Piper: Like 3:30 or 4am.
Mom: And you guys woke her up 4 hours later.
Pheobe: Oops.
Mom: Why would you even wake her up if she wanted to sleep anyways. We have been trying to get her to sleep for weeks. Prue give me the keys to the car, I'm going to take Paige home you guys catch a cab.
I look over at my mom a little concerned because I haven't seen her this angry in a long time. My sisters don't say a word and Prue hands over the car keys.
Mom: Come on sweetie lets get you home so you can sleep.
We walk out of the restraunt and as soon as I'm in the car I lean my head against the window and close my eyes. After what feels like hours later my mom shakes me awake and we head upstairs to our new home. Once there I crawl into bed and fall asleep without even taking off my coat.
A/N: I had to add the sleeping pills thing because my mom did that to me once. She gave me tylenol pm instead of regular tylenol and then we went to church. After struggling for a while I fell asleep and during the priests sermon he walked by me and touched me on the shoulder to wake up. My mom was so mad at me and I was completely embarrased. When we got home she looked at what she gave me and immediately understood the problem. Its years later now and its a pretty funny story, I think anyway.