Chapter 43 by Abbot & Natters

A/N: Before you all start yelling at us (although yelling does equal reviews ;) lets just say that Sam was hiding her talents when she could only draw stick figures. That's our excuse and we're sticking with it. It's our AU after all :D

Please review!

Jack's POV

T brings me a file, with one of Janet's little notepad papers folded on top. He bows slightly.

"Thanks, Teal'c."

"You are welcome, O'Neill. I apologize for harming you."

"S'fine...just try to finish...the job...next time."

He doesn't smile back. He nods again, leaves, and I would have shrugged if it didn't send agony shooting shooting up and down my side. I unfolded the note, and in Sam's clinical script was a simple note.

Jack,

Read these. Should explain how I feel.

Sam

Little square letters. Kinda familiar, I guess. Set me at ease. I open up the folder, and it's crumpled pieces of paper. The first is flattened out, was folded into a small square. Dated three years ago.

Dear Jack...

It's mostly a shy, girlish sort of date request, obviously never sent. Makes me smile. I turn it over, and go for the next one. It's another proposition, never sent. Fits in with the not-so-serious flirting we did at the time. I skip through a few of those before I hit the first hammer-blow to my system. It was dated about three days after Martouf died.

Dear Jack,

I'm sorry. I really, truly am sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. I want to be with you. I love you more than you'll ever know. I was ready to lay down my life for you on Apophis's ship. I was ready to let that jaffa kill me to let you get away if it meant you would live. Standing there, I knew it meant was more important to me that you be okay than to save my own life. In that moment, standing there, watching you I realized that I could spend my life the rest of my days by your side and be happy. regret...

The note stopped there, a mess of scribblings. It picked up halfway down the page, pockmarked where water, maybe tears, had struck the paper.

Jack, I don't know how to tell you this. The three months you were gone, I did everything in my power to get you back. I barely ate or slept. And seeing you there, with that woman- it tore me up inside. Nothing ever hurt so badly. Even seeing us kiss...the alternate me and you.. was hard to deal with. So, I'll sit here and write this letter you'll never get, keep running up that road, keep running up that hill, and if I get a chance, I'll make a deal with God for you.

Love,

Samantha Carter

The stack was a half-inch thick, full of letters, a spiral notebook, and poems. The poems were pretty bad, to be honest, but touching. I felt a burning sensation behind my eyes, rubbed at them. The next paper was a carefully sketched me, sitting out my some water. Looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. It looked like it had been drawn from life, from a fair distance. Just me sitting there, staring out... It was surrounded by little notes, song lyrics I guessed. I found a few more as I rooted through the folder, all carefully drawn in blue ink.

The amount of material was astounding. It ranged from love letters, letters of apology, letters of regret, to poems, to sketches from real life and fantasy. Journal entries were more telling, but I was just shocked at how artistic Carter could be. One was a large heart, two figures hand in hand. Dated last month.

"Your presence is morning, your absence is the night. I'm running down your dark hallways, and I'm trying to find the light. I swim in your sad oceans, and I'm drowning in your seas..."

More. It kept coming. That woman loved me more than anything in the world. I started feeling guilty, until I hit the journal. My LORD! The filth that woman put to paper! Made me blush. Well, her...ah...sexual fantasies aside, she was pretty clear on wanting me heart, body and soul... but especially body. I flashed back to the tent, our sweaty bodies cooling close together, Sam all but purring...

I arranged the papers to hide my hard-on, and kept reading.

SG-1 SG-1 SG-1

Janet's POV

I'm not so worried about Daniel and myself. We might have a few issues with this empathy part, but we've been a couple for several weeks now. We'll get a slap on the wrist for behaving like that off-world and that'll be the end of it.

But Sam and the Colonel…

"Janet?"

I hurry to Sam's side. She passes me a folded note on top of a large file, the same one Teal'c brought her a few moments ago, and her eyes beg me to pass them along to the intended recipient. I smile reassuringly and nod. As I push back the curtains to Sam's bed, I see a strange woman being escorted into the Infirmary and my heart drops like a stone. It's too late.

"Doctor Frasier?"

"Yes?"

"I'm Doctor Holroyd. Is there somewhere private I can conduct my interviews?"

"My office is free. One of the interviewees has four broken ribs. He's under medication at the moment."

"I understand. Can he moved to a suitable area without further discomfort?"

"Yes."

"Good. Perhaps, it would be best if we begin with him."

Okay, I've got to buy them a little more time. "Doctor Holroyd? It would be better to leave him for a little while. He's just come back from X-rays, and Colonel O'Neill is a grouchy patient at the best of times. If I give him these, it'll cheer him up and you'll find him much easier to deal with? I'm happy to go first."

"Of course Doctor."

"Please call me Janet."

"Janet. And I'm Annie."

I spot Teal'c coming out of the curtained area where Daniel is resting. "Teal'c. I'd like you to meet Doctor Annie Holroyd. She's here to speak to myself, and the rest of SG-1. Annie, this is Teal'c."

"DoctorHolroyd."

"Mr. Teal'c. It's nice to meet you."

"Teal'c? Would you be a dear and give Colonel O'Neill this file, immediately?"

"I shall. O'Neill has been awaiting its arrival."

"Thank you Teal'c."

"Wow. Big," states Annie softly and I laugh.

"With the heart to match it. Just don't ever cross him. Shall we?"

Daniel's POV

I always found my lab 'safe'. I mean, it's almost a mile straight down in the most heavily fortified airforce base on the planet, but this little section of it always made me feel invulnerable. Janet's being raked over the coals, but I know she'll be okay.

So I sit back with my books, and check the time. Scifi is having a Firefly marathon, so I turn that on too. It's good to be back, with my artifacts. It's humbling to know that Rameses was buried with this, or Lord Asano carried that. No matter what, when the Inquisitor comes for me, I'll be ready. Sometimes, I think that there is a power in these old things. They are...imbued with something great. Being around great people has given them an otherworldly aura. You can pick up that civil war blade, and feel the courage coursing through you. You can pick up the Roman statute, and remember Cicero's wise words. And I know that like those artifacts, we'll all be okay. We have been tempered through worse flames than this.

The Inquisitor will come, and she'll go. Me and Janet will be okay, Sam and Jack will be okay, everyone will be fine. Not to compare us to the great ones, but Nelson was one eyed and one armed from previous battle when he won the battle of Trafalgar. Similarly, many other men have been badly wounded and yet fought on to achieve greater things. We have fought through countless jaffa, aliens, threatens, infections. A simple shrink can't hurt us.

Can it?

SG-1 SG-1 SG-1

Sam's POV

I can hear Doctor Holroyd chatting with Janet as they come out of her office. They've been in there for about an hour. The Colonel's had the file for over an hour. Teal'c came to sit with me for a while, in silence. The kind you can only share with Teal'c, when he knows everything you want to say, but he lets you say it anyway, if you need to, or he's just there if you don't.

"I'd like to see Doctor Jackson now Janet, if you have no objections?"

"By all means. He's over here. Daniel?"

Janet introduces them, and as usual, Daniel's talking at a mile a minute before he's asked any questions. I smile as Doctor Holroyd calms him down quickly but calmly and they head for Janet's office.

Janet comes in a moment later. "I think Daniel and I are off the hook. I explained exactly what happened to us, from Keja to our relationship beforehand. She had some concerns about the empathy part, but as we're dealing with it already, I think it's okay."

"That's great Janet."

"She's nice. She doesn't try to use any trick questions. She accepts the effects of N'Tinevale."

"Janet, please? Can we not talk about this yet. Not until I've spoken to the General and he's made his decision. I'm so nervous right now, I think I might be sick."

"Have you… heard anything on the Yamyrian radio?"

Yamyrian radio? Ohh, the empathy. "Nothing definitive." I admit shakily.

"Hey! Carter! Doc! Keep it… down out there… Some of us… are trying to… read!"

Janet rolls her eyes and goes into his curtained off area. I sit up and can see all the papers neatly arranged on his bed, face down. I can't see his face.

"Colonel. You are supposed to be resting, not yelling in my Infirmary."

"Aww, c'mon Doc. I'm getting to… the good bit."

The good bit? "Colonel. Surely you've read all that file now?" I call, hesitantly.

"Carter… you know me… and paperwork… I have… to read… it at least… twice. Make sure… I'm not missing… anything."

"First impressions sir?"

"Never knew… paperwork… could be… such a pleasure… Carter."

I take a deep breath of relief and start to relax.

"Even if… it is… multi-syllabic!"

I have to giggle at that, and I think it's got a slightly hysterical edge to it, so I stop myself and take a deep breath. "Would you expect anything else from me?"

"Why mess… with… perfection?"

I take another deep breath and hear Janet chiding him for straining his lungs with the effort of holding a conversation across the room. "Need I remind you Colonel O'Neill that you are disobeying a direct order by talking to Major Carter at all."

"Doc, you know… me and rules."

I stifle another giggle and wait for Janet's reaction.

"Colonel. You know me and my needles. I trust we understand each other?"

"D'oh!"

"Good." She leaves him alone and closes the curtain, coming back in with me, and slipping me a note. "I have to go down to storage room three at the end of the hall. I will be back in four minutes. Daniel and Doctor Holroyd are only in my office, so keep it down, okay?"

"Janet? Thanks."

"You both owe me one."

I nod my understanding and unfold the note. 'Want to visit Oz again next year, for a Spare Wheel?'

I stand up and head for the curtain on the other side of the room. "I hear Northern Minnesota is nice this time of year."

"Land of clear… blue waters. Loofahs... Mosquitoes… Yasure…yabetcha… Snookums."

"And fish that grow this big?"

"Bigger. You gonna… open that curtain?"

"No."

"Not even … a crack?"

"Not even a millimeter."

"Cabin? Christmas is… coming up."

I open my mouth to say yes, but remember my plans at the last second. "Dad's coming Earth-side for a week."

There is a pause and then a reluctant. "He can… come too."

I laugh. "He'd kill you for corrupting his baby girl. That would kind of put a damper on my Christmas."

"He'll find… out… eventually."

"Let's deal with the regs before that."

"I'll retire."

"No. Let's leave that as our plan Z."

"Plan Z?"

"We'll exhaust all our other options first. We can talk to General Hammond, off the record."

"Hope you're right… Sam."

"You aren't getting rid of me any time soon Jack O'Neill."

"UNSCHEDULED OFF-WORLD ACTIVATION. GENERAL HAMMOND TO THE CONTROL ROOM! REPEAT UNSCHEDULED OFF-WORLD ACTIVATION!"

Jack's POV

"You aren't getting rid of me any time soon Jack O'Neill," she says, and walks away. I was great hearing her voice, and I'm grinning ear to ear. What could be better? She finally agreed to go fishing with me! I mean, what could be better? The instant I get out of here, I'm taking her to O'Malley's. Make things right.

The alarms are wailing all of a sudden. Well, what am I going to do? Throw rocks? I'm combat ineffective, so whatever's happening is someone else's problem. I'm enjoying myself, reading Sam's letters and looking at her drawings. I'm even finding a few pictures in there, group photos. Everyone looking tired or drunk or both, happy. Arms slung around shoulders. Momentos.

These letters have left me happier than I've been in years. A void in my life is filled, and I'm looking forwards to the next few days- we stand a fighting chance. Or at least I thought we did, until HE stormed into the infirmary

SG-1 SG-1 SG-1