It's All Been Done Before
Disclaimer- I am stupid, broke, and brunette. Anvil-sized hint, much?
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Summary- Of course, I've got to be the one to make fun of all the very stupid fics out there. So, here goes, eh? Beware, cheesy jokes, random stupidity, and ridiculous ranting.
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Dumbledore answered the door before Hermione and Draco even knocked. The two weren't very surprised, though, as he had told them to come to his office at a certain time.
"You see, Mister Malfoy, Miss Granger, when a male and a female love each other very much- Ah, screw it. You two have to share a Common Room together so it will eventually lead to sex, for the reader's growing need." Automatically, Hermione screeched.
"What? No! Professor, I can't live with him! He's dreadful! Even if it will lead to strange sex in the oddest locations, Draco battling his father for me, and even Ron hating me forever because he thinks I'm a Mudblood and has really, secretly loved me all along!" Draco was shocked.
"You called me Draco!" he said, surprised. He looked at her as if he never had before. All of the sudden, magically, she had beautiful, straight hair, chocolate brown eyes, and had a new body shape. Of couse, he completely ignored the fact that she had called him by his first name before, on many occasions. Hermione blushed.
"That is your name," she replied, smiling at him, even though she had been yelling moments earlier. All of the sudden, he had stopped gelling his hair, Quidditch had done wonders for him, and his grey-blue eyes (that changed with his mood) were shining brightly down at her, looking into her soul. (A/N: Which is often misspelled 'soal.') Shining down at her, of course, because he was already 6 foot tall and she was only about the size of a third year.
"Fine, Professor, I'll do it."
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The next few months passed with yelling, kinky situations, kissing, and hiding the relationship from Draco's father and Hermione's friends.
Of course, it all worked out. Lucius died, Narcissa was good once she saw how much her son was loved, Hermione and Draco lived happily ever after.
Harry married Ginny, of course, and had a baby, living happily ever after, with the relationship suddenly blooming out of nothing. Blaise remained Draco's best friend, also coming from absolutely nothing, and became Draco and Hermione's baby's godfather. Ron ended up playing for the Cannons, because we all know he's oh-so-good at Quidditch... Oh, and Draco and Hermione constantly have steamy, kinky sex.
And how do I know this?
Because. It's all been done before.