Mama Himura

Chapter 7

Tokisha just stared down at her son, confusion reflecting in her own violet eyes as she looked into his deep golden ones, "S… Shinta… are… are ya alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, are you?" he asked quietly, his voice deep and husky.

"Yes but I want ta know what's goin' on, that I do."

"Nothings going on, everything's fine…"

Kenshin stood up and held his stomach, a slight groan of pain escaping his lips as he did so. Tokisha looked down at the wound and her eyes filled with tears of worry, "Oh Shinta… we need ta get ya ta doctor, that we do!"

"No, I'm fine, I've had far worse than this. You're wasting your time by worrying about someone like me, if anyone needs to see a doctor it's you."

"Me! I'm perfectly fine, that I am!"

"Good, then there's nothing else to discuss."

Kenshin turned to walk away but Tokisha caught his arm and held him back, "Don't walk away from me! I want ta know what's goin' on, that I do!"

Kenshin sighed, "Fine, what do you want to know?"

"Who was that man and why was he tryin' ta kill ya?"

"I don't know who he was, he was just another ticked off man that I hurt in the past that came back to get revenge, it's happened so many times that I've lost track, it's nothing new."

"O…k… but… he kept callin' ya Battousai…"

"So?"

"So… so why was he callin' ya that! I know that ya can't be Battousai, that I do! He must have been mistaken… right…"

Kenshin chuckled slightly and turned around to face her, his golden eyes surprisingly gentle as he looked down at the confused woman in front of him. He reached out and moved some hair away from her face, his voice taking on a softer tone, "I've been mistaken for Battousai more than once, don't worry about it but I am sorry…"

"For what, Shinta?"

Kenshin didn't answer, instead he took a deep breath then, without warning, he punched himself in the face, getting a horrified shriek from Tokisha as he did so. The others on the porch flinched at the familiar scene and Hiko couldn't help the comment that went past his tight lips, "Ouch… that hurt…"

Tokisha ignored the comment and touched Kenshin's shoulder, watching with horror as blood ran down his arm and onto the ground, "Shinta… are ya ok?"

Kenshin looked down at her and smiled brightly, his violet eyes full of emotion, "I'm fine Mother, that I am, are you?"

"Yes, I've already told ya that, that I have! Now tell me why ya just punched yourself in the face!"

"Oh… no reason… just… getting my senses straight is all, you don't need to worry about me, that you don't. As long as you're safe and sound that's all that matters to me, that it is, now I have to go and get breakfast started, that I do, excuse me."

"No… Shinta..."

He ignored her calls and headed off to the back of the dojo, missing the 'oh no' looks on everyone's faces as they watched him leave. Hiko knew what was coming and started to head back to his room but he didn't go far before he felt a sharp tug on his long ponytail, "OW! What do you want, you oversized leprechaun!"

"I want the truth, that I do! Ya know what's goin' on with Shinta and you're goin' ta tell me, that ya are!"

"And if I don't?" he challenged bravely as he turned around to face the fuming woman.

"If ya don't then you'll wake up bald, that ya will! Now tell me what the hell is goin' on here!"

"Fine, what do you want to know?"

"Start anywhere, but I'd particularly like ta know why my son was mistaken for that manslayer, that I would!"

"Mama Himura…" Kaoru said timidly, getting her attention

Tokisha turned to face her, "What is it, Kaoru?"

"Kenshin… Kenshin isn't what you think… he wasn't mistaken for Battousai…"

"What do ya mean, Kaoru?"

"She means that Kenshin was mistaken for Battousai because he is Battousai." Sanosuke told her plainly.

"WHAT! That… that can't be, that it can't!"

She looked around at everyone and they looked down to the ground, she then turned to Hiko as she let his hair slip from her grasp, "Hiko… they're not serious… are they?"

Hiko didn't answer instead he looked the other direction, missing the hurt look that came across her face when he did so, "This… this can't be true… Shinta can't possibly be Battousai, that he can't… not my sweet Shinta. He'd… he'd never hurt anyone, that he wouldn't…"

Hiko looked down at her and sighed, "It's true, Tokisha, Kenshin's Battousai, he told me so himself when he came back to finish his training."

"My son's a manslayer? I don't believe it, that I don't! Shinta would never kill, that he most certainly wouldn't!"

"Then you don't know your son very well, Tokisha, Kenshin is more than capable of taking a life, ask anyone here, they've seen how he fights when he's Battousai. What you saw today was child's play compared to what he usually does when he reverts to his old self. Trust me, when Kenshin wants to kill he'll kill and not think twice about it."

Tokisha shook her head, her eyes flashing with anger, "You're lyin' ya have ta be!"

"Why don't you go and ask him yourself then since you don't believe me."

"I will!"

Tokisha headed off towards the kitchen but was surprised to find that Kenshin wasn't there as he said he would be. She went to the back and saw him standing next to the well with his gi around his waist. She looked closer and saw that he was stitching up the wound on his stomach, his face void of any pain or emotion as he repeatedly pushed the needle in and out of his skin. He tied off the thread and put his gi back on, putting the needle and thread into his sleeve before splashing some water onto his face. Tokisha cautiously went up to him and set a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump ever so slightly as he turned around to face her, a smile coming to his face, "Oh Mother, is something wrong?"

"Yes, Shinta, we need ta talk, that we do."

"What about, is Master giving you a hard time again?"

"No… it's about you, Shinta, that it is, I want ta know somethin'."

"What's that?"

"Hiko told me that you're Battousai… is it true?"

Kenshin's eyes went wide and he turned pale, looking away from her hopeful eyes to stare at a spot on the ground that seemed to suddenly be interesting to him. Tokisha rested a hand on his arm, "Shinta… please answer me…"

Kenshin sighed, "Yes Mother, it's true… I'm Battousai…"

"Ya… ya can't be… Battousai has a cross-shaped scar on his cheek, that he does and you only have a cut from fallin' off of the roof, that ya do."

"No I don't, I lied to you about that… I don't have a cut, I have a scar…"

He reached up and pulled off the bandage that had been concealing his famous scar, getting a soft gasp from his mother as she looked at the marking on his face. She reached up and touched it with gentle fingers, her voice soft, "Oh Shinta… how did ya get this horrible scar?"

"I'd… rather not say, Mother…"

"Oh Shinta… why didn't ya just tell me who ya were?"

"I couldn't… I never wanted you to know, I didn't want you to be disappointed in me or… hate me."

"I'd never hate ya, Shinta, that I wouldn't, no matter what you've done, I'm your mother."

"And that's exactly why I didn't tell you, I didn't want you to know that your son was a cold hearted killer!"

"I've heard some horrible stories about Battousai, that I have, but I'm certain that you weren't really as bad as everyone said ya were."

"Don't count on that, I was cruel and I didn't care how I killed just as long as I did, if that isn't cold hearted then I'd certainly like to know what is."

"Shinta…"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't speak to you in that manner."

Kenshin moved away from her and went to sit on the porch, but Tokisha followed him and sat next to him, "Don't walk away, Shinta, I don't care about ya being a manslayer, that I don't, I just feel badly because ya didn't trust me enough ta tell me who ya really were, that I do."

"It's not that I didn't trust you, I trust you with my life, I don't trust myself. I just couldn't bring myself to tell you."

"Why not!"

"Because I didn't want to see the look of dread in your eyes… I didn't want you to be afraid of me!"

"But I'm not afraid of ya, son, that I'm not."

"You might not be afraid of me but you are afraid of Battousai, I saw the fear in your eyes earlier when you were watching me fight, I couldn't handle that… that's why I punched myself… to regain control over Battousai and return to being the wanderer."

"Shinta, I'm sorry if I made ya feel this way, that I am, but no matter what you've done or whom you've killed I will always love ya, that I most certainly will, you're my son."

Tokisha reached over and hugged him tightly, a happy sigh escaping her when he finally returned the gesture a few moments later. Kenshin pulled away and put on his usual rurouni smile as he stood up to leave, "I really do have to finish breaksfast… that I do…"

"Shinta…"

"I'm not Shinta anymore, Mother, that I'm not."

"W… what do ya mean by that?"

"Shinta died fourteen years ago… the first time I killed, I'm just Kenshin now… just Kenshin…"

He disappeared around the corner without another word, missing the tear that slid down his mother's face as she watched him leave. She got up and headed back to where the others were waiting; Sanosuke saw her coming and called out to her, "Well, what happened?"

"Not much I'm afraid, Shinta won't talk ta me, that he won't."

"I'm not surprised, Kenshin doesn't really talk to anyone, especially when it comes to his problems." Yahiko stated truthfully

Tokisha ignored him and turned to look at Kaoru, taking the girl's hand in her own, "Kaoru… would ya be a dear and go talk ta him for me, I'm certain he'll talk ta you, that I am."

"Sure thing, Mama Himura, I'll be back."

Kaoru headed off towards the kitchen and found breakfast on the table, as usual, but no sign of Kenshin. She headed out back and found him kneeling next to the laundry bin, scrubbing the clothes rather roughly. She had learned long ago that doing the laundry helped Kenshin clear his mind when something was bothering him so it didn't surprise her that he was there now. Kaoru went up to him and laid a hand on his shoulder, feeling him tense up at her touch before he turned around and smiled at her, "Oh, Kaoru, is something wrong?"

"Are you ok, Kenshin?"

He frowned and looked away from her, "Oh yeah, my mother just found out that I'm a murderer and she's afraid of me now, but other than that I'm fine!" He spat coldly.

Kaoru took a step back, he'd never spoken to her like that before and the sudden change startled her. Kenshin immediately felt guilt and let the gi drop back into the water as he turned around and stood up to face her, taking her small hand in his soapy one, "Forgive me, love, I'm not mad at you, that I'm not, I'm angry at myself but I shouldn't have taken it out on you, I'm sorry, that I am."

Kaoru smiled, "It's alright, I'd rather you take it out on me then keep it bottled up inside like you usually do. Now why don't you tell me what's wrong, besides what you just told me."

"What bothered and hurt the most was the fear in my mother's eyes, the same fear you once showed to me, Kaoru."

"I've never shown fear towards you, Kenshin."

"Yes you have, it was that night that I fought Jine, the look of terror in your pretty eyes broke my heart and I saw that same look in my own mother's eyes today. I don't know why I keep losing control over Battousai but I do and I hate myself for that. There are days that I wish that I had died out there on that battlefield, sometimes… sometimes I truly believe that everyone would be better off if I had gotten killed in Kyoto all those years ago…"

He was cut off when he suddenly felt a sharp stinging sensation in his cheek. He looked down at Kaoru and saw an angry look on her beautiful face as she put her hand back at her side, "Don't you ever say that to me, Kenshin Himura!"

"Kaoru…"

"Don't Kaoru me! You deserved that slap for what you said! Most of us wouldn't be alive today if it weren't for you, including myself!"

Kaoru leaned forward and put her face into his neck, hugging him tightly around his chest, "My sweet Kenshin… I've told you more than once that I don't care about your past and I don't care that you're Battousai, if that's who you are then so be it! It doesn't matter, just as long as you're here… with me…"

Kenshin was silent for a moment before he put his fingers under her chin to lift her gaze up to meet his, leaning down to place a tender kiss to her lips. When he pulled away he had a genuine smile on his face, "You don't know what that means to me, I really don't deserve you but I'm so very glad that I have you, that I am. I don't know what I'd do without you, Kaoru, that I don't."

Kaoru smiled and kissed his chin, "I do, without me you'd still be wandering around Japan fighting forest creatures for a place to sleep."

Kenshin laughed and put his forehead against hers, "That I would, love, that I would, and… thank you."

"For what?"

"For knocking some much needed sense into me."

"Anytime, but I'm hungry so lets go eat before Yahiko and Sanosuke get it all, and no more comments about you dying, got it!"

"Got it."

"Good, let's go."

LATER THAT NIGHT

The rest of the day had progressed as usual, Tokisha and Hiko had their normal bout of arguing and bickering while the others watched and kept score. Eventually Tokisha caught Kenshin off by himself and cornered him and made him tell her about his past. After much arguing he finally gave in and told her everything, including how he'd gotten his infamous cross-shaped scar. After he finished Tokisha hugged and kissed him until he finally smiled at her, then spent several minutes afterwards trying to calm her down. Later that night, after everyone else had gone to bed, Tokisha couldn't sleep so she headed outside and sat on the porch to look at the night sky, wrapping her arms around herself as a cold wind came up.

Out of nowhere she felt something drape over her shoulders and she looked beside of her to see Hiko, "You're going to freeze, woman."

"What's it ta ya, Hiko?"

"I don't want you to die of pneumonia, I want to have the pleasure of killing you myself."

"Ha, ya don't have what it takes, little man, that ya don't."

Hiko chuckled, "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all."

Hiko sat next to her and they sat in silence for a moment until Tokisha asked, "Hiko?"

"Yeah?"

"Do ya think… that Shinta will ever forgive himself for what he's done?"

"No, I think he'll die with his guilt, he has a pure heart and killing almost destroyed him but he has to bear that burden until he feels that he's finished with his repentance, only he can get rid of the guilt."

Tokisha chuckled under her breath but Hiko caught the small sound, "What's funny?"

"I was thinkin' about Mamoru, that I was."

"Really?"

"Yes, he had felt the same guilt because he'd taken a couple of lives in his day, that he did."

"I thought he was a farmer."

"He was but… one day these men tried ta kidnap me and Shinta and Mamoru killed them in self defense when they fought him. He said that Shinta would grow up one day and be a great swordsman but regret it… I guess he was right, that he was."

"It seems that way."

They were silent for sometime after that then Hiko heard a soft sound, like a whimper and he looked over at Tokisha to see a tear going down her face, "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I feel badly about Shinta, that I do. I… know that what happened ta him is my fault, that it is."

"How can him killing be your fault?"

"Because I wasn't there for him, that I wasn't! I missed twenty years of my son's life because of some… damned illness!"

"You couldn't help being sick, Tokisha."

"Maybe not but… I just feel that if I had been there for him then he wouldn't have had ta resort ta killin'…"

"Hey," Hiko reached over and gently made her look at him, "it wasn't your fault, Kenshin decided to kill because he thought it was the right thing to do. He killed for what he believed in, no one can blame him for that because countless other men did the exact same thing."

"I know that, Hiko, but… I want ta help my son and I… I can't! I don't know how ta help him, that I don't, I want ta help him get rid of his guilt but… oh Hiko please tell me what ta do…"

Tokisha suddenly leaned into him and rested her head against his shoulder, sobbing silently into the thin material of his yukata. Hiko hesitantly put his arms around her and held her close, running his hand through her hair to try and soothe her, "I can't, I don't know how to help him either, that's something that he has to do on his own but… I think that Kaoru is our best bet, she's his sanity and his life and she can take away his guilt, just give it time, Tokisha."

She nodded against his shoulder but didn't move from their position. Hiko continued to stroke her hair and just let her cry, knowing it was the only thing he could do. After what seemed like an eternity the soft whimpers stopped and she went limp against him, he looked down and saw a peaceful expression on her pretty face as she slept. He scooped her up and carried her to her room, gently laying her down and covering her up.

After he tucked her in he took a moment and gazed down at her and for the first time he noticed just how beautiful she was; her shoulder length red hair accentuated her face nicely and the soft moonlight gave her a mystical glow to her pale skin. Hiko reached out and moved some stray hair away from her face, smiling when she unconsciously leaned into his touch. He leaned down and placed a feather light kiss to her mouth, running his knuckles over her face when he pulled away, "Goodnight Tokisha."

He quietly left the room and headed off to get some rest, the image of the beautiful red-haired woman in the next room filling his dreams as he drifted off into sleep.

There's chapter 7! And just for asking purposes… did anyone notice in the last chapter how the stranger knew Tokisha's name? If you go back and read no one had said her name during the entire fight. I was just wondering, any ways, next chapter's on the way and I hope you liked this one!