okay people heres 39! See how much i luv you giving you two updates in one night! I've abandoned my painkillers today so i've been typing non stop to distract myself! Anyhow i know your gonna wanna strangle me coz yes its another cliffhanger! And yes Maxine i am insane evil laugh lol. Right i'm going to stop rambling now-enjoy! Keep the reviews coming, you know i love them x

Chapter 39

John kissed the top of Becki's head softly before burying his face in her hair. He wasn't quite sure he'd heard right.

"What did you say?"

Becki sighed "What are you gonna do if I am pregnant?"

John stared at the wall as he gripped Bex hand, "Honestly, I don't know! What do you want to do?"

"I don't want his baby!" John had expected that, he nodded and kissed her head once more.

"But it could be yours!" Becki added as a tear slid down her cheek.

That stopped John in his tracks, he'd never thought about it that way but he knew it was true. If Bex was pregnant there was a 50/50 chance the baby was his.

"How about we think about it if the time comes?"

"I need to know John" Becki whispered as he stroked her hair with his free hand.

"I don't know how I'd feel or what I'd do! All I can promise you is I'll be right here with you no matter what"

Becki just let the tears roll down her cheeks, she was sick of crying and she felt pathetic. The last thing she wanted was to end up pregnant and not be able to tell if the man she loved or the monster that tortured her was the father.

"Knowing my luck I'll be pregnant!" she hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"Hey, look at me!"

Becki turned her head so she was looking up at him, not really wanting him to see that she was crying yet again.

"Don't think like that! Whatever happens I'll be with you and we'll get through it together! Please don't cry anymore baby, everything's gonna be fine" he hugged her to him protectively, trying not to hurt her in the process.

"I love you" Becki whispered

"Love you too"

"John?"

"yup?"

"When can I have my laptop back?"

Becki was sleeping on the sofa with Lucas at her side as John watched them. He'd called Joanne who was staying at Jeff's house so she could go over to Becki's with him to get her some stuff. Plus he'd told Bex she could have her laptop back but he didn't dare tell her it was hidden in her house all along!

"What's up?" Matt interrupted his thoughts

"Just watching her sleep" John replied

"Can you hold Maddie for me while I grab something to eat?"

"Sure" John walked over and took the sleeping baby from Matt.

This time he got it right, he cradled her in his arms as he looked down at her sleeping peacefully. He tried to imagine what it would be like if Becki did have a baby.

'I guess it would be kinda cool to be a dad' he said to himself.

Whatever happened he knew he'd stand by Bex but he wasn't sure if he could be a father to another mans child, especially Deans child.

"Aww look at you" Joanne whispered as she entered

"Hey" he whispered back

Joanne looked over to the sofa at Becki and Lucas, "Aww look at them"

"Have you gone soft or something?" John asked as Matt came back and took Madison from him.

"Hey Matt and no I haven't"

"Hey Jo, whatcha here for?"

"Gee nice to see you too"

Matt blew her a kiss before heading back upstairs with the baby.

"When did Matt have a baby anyways?" Jo asked scratching her head

"Today!"

"Okay I'm not gonna ask" she replied "You ready?"

"Yeah I'm just gonna tell Matt so he can look out for Bex"

"aight I'll wait in the car"

"So how is Bex? Did you talk to her?"

"It's hard to tell how she is, emotional is the best way to describe her I guess"

Joanne took her eyes off the road to glance at John.

"Okay! So did you talk to her?"

John sighed and ran a hand over his face "Yeah"

"And?"

"He raped her Jo!" a tear ran down his cheek and he swatted it away. He'd tried so hard to stay strong in front of Bex but it tore him up inside to think about what that monster had done to her.

"Are you ok?" she glanced over at him quickly.

"Not really! She might be pregnant!"

"Oh!" was all Joanne could say.

"Your supposed to be my fountain of knowledge and all you can say is oh!"

Joanne smirked slightly then returned to her serious face "How do you feel about it?"

"Which bit?"

"Well, the pregnancy thing"

"I don't know! Holding Madison when you came in I was thinking it would be kinda cool to be a dad"

"I sense a but"

"But I don't know if I can be a father to someone else's child…especially his!"

"But it could be yours right?"

"Yeah"

"I really don't know what to tell you John! Maybe Randy will be better with this one, you know get a guys perspective"

"But what do you think?"

"I think Bex must be going through hell! I cant even imagine being in her position"

"Thanks for that!" John replied as he head fell back against the headrest.

"Sorry! That's why I think Randy may be more help, I can help you from Becki's perspective but yours…not in my fountain of knowledge I'm afraid"

"Okay help me from Bex side of things"

"Think about it! Being raped is awful enough but then being faced with the prospect of being pregnant. Then to top it off if she is pregnant she doesn't know if the baby belongs to the man she loves or the jackass that put her through hell. I'd say she's terrified!"

John didn't reply, he just swatted away more tears that were trying to escape.

The drive to Becki's continued in silence, when they were about ten minutes away John said distractedly while staring out the window.

"She thought I'd leave her when I found out"

Joanne glanced at him, he looked so tired and lost. She wished she could help him but there was nothing she could do apart from listen.

"That doesn't surprise me"

"Why?"

"It's hard to explain, kinda like you'd think she was tainted or something"

"I'd never think that"

"I know you wouldn't, but like you said she's emotional. She wont know why she's thinking what she's thinking"

"I just wish I could take her pain away"

"It just takes time, we're all here for you both and Bex knows your there for her. Now you just both need to take the time to heal"

"But I'm not gonna be there to help her am I?"

"Yes you will, just because your going back on the road doesn't mean you wont be there for her!"

"I think I'm gonna stay"

"She wont let you!"

"I wont give her a choice"

"John! Bex knows you love having the belt and she wont let you give it up! You know why? Because she loves you and wants you to be happy"

"I wont be happy unless she's with me"

"She will be"

"No she wont"

"When she's recovered she will be"

"I don't want to leave her"

"You cant be with her 24/7 John"

"I know that but I want to be near her"

"Ok listen to me. You both need to take time to heal, especially Bex, but if you are with her constantly she's just gonna depend on you! Then you'll end up totally drained and you'll resent her because you gave up the title and neither of you will heal!"

"When did you become so wise?"

"Secretly I'm two hundred years old!"

"You look good for your age" John quipped

"Why thank you Mr Cena"

Joanne frowned as she pulled up in front of Becki's house, John noticed, he looked in the same direction and a frown quickly appeared on his face also.

"This doesn't look good" Jo said as she got out of the car.

John got out of the car and followed Joanne to the front door which was half open and hanging off its hinges.

"Don't touch anything" John said as Jo was about to touch the door.

He grabbed a stick and pushed the door aside so they could enter. Joanne gasped once she was inside, John followed her in and sighed. The kitchen was completely trashed, nothing had been left untouched and was strewn all over the floor. John walked over to the living room which was in the same state, he sighed and ran his hands over his face when he saw the wall. Joanne had followed him and her breath caught when she saw what he was looking at.

Scrawled across the wall in black spray paint was a message

'You can't hide! See you soon baby!'