Chapter 71

A/N: Dear gentle readers. We are approaching the end of the epic. Tonight, I completed my final chapter (number 81) which contains the surprise for you all. Of course, we've got a few angsty and fluffy chapter to go yet.

There may be a slight delay for the guys POV as poor Abbot has severely hurt his hand. Send him you best wishes, so I can start nagging him again ;)

Sam's POV

My life is weird.

I got woken up by my husband in a very… pleasurable way this morning. That, I'm pleased to say has been SOP in the few days we've been married.

I'm on an alien planet. Which is not unusual for me, but considering the population of the Earth, puts me in the almost incalculable small percentage of people who do this on a regular basis.

The sun rising to our west is slightly larger in the sky than "Sol" and the moon still visible to our east is a dark green. I have half a mind to bring through a 302, reassemble it and go for a quick mineral survey. Skimming over the canyons and mountains of the green lunar surface as fast as we can. Hmm, maybe I can convince Jack to be my co-pilot and we could…

I shake my head to bring myself out of the lustful haze that is fogging my brain.

The weirdness is catching my husband and CO of forty-something years young with Teal'c, Olmas, Hugh, and Ferretti, all discussing how to get Janet and Daniel get back together.

I'd expect it of Olmas. She's a regular matchmaker, and Hugh is happy to go along with her plans. But Teal'c? Ferretti? And Jack!

Ergo… Weird.

Although Jack does look kinda cute, when he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Focus Samantha.

"I think we need to wait 'til Christmas. We can hang up lotsa mistletoe."

"What is this mistletoe of which you speak Jack?" asks Hugh.

"Hugh, my friend, it is one of our greatest traditions at Christmas. You hang it from the ceiling and any guy and gal who get caught under it have to kiss."

"Ahh. What is its symbolism?"

"I don't know. It's a tradition. Ask Danny if you really wanna know. The point is you have to kiss under the mistletoe or it's bad luck."

Teal'c raises an eyebrow. "O'Neill. Why have you never hung this plant in your home before?"

"Teal'c, he was hoping for the whole farm, not just a taste of honey once a year." Replies Ferretti.

The giggle that escapes me gives my position away, and Jack looks up. "Carter?"

I step forward, and raise an eyebrow Teal'c style at the glare he has aimed at Ferretti.

"The point is, we hang up mistletoe, they kiss, the Doc stops crying into her pillow, Danny gets his head out of his butt. The end."

"Perhaps you could slip some N'Tinevale in their drink as Keja did before?" asks Olmas. "Neither will be able to resist each other. With use the N'Tinevale only becomes more potent."

"Olmas, no offence, but that's what got them into this mess in the first place. I think Janet and Daniel need to talk this out."

"Talk is necessary to maintain a relationship Samantha, however, in order to give a couple the right push in the right direction, as occurred with you and Jack, N'Tinevale may be their best hope."

"I think what happened between Jack and I may have caused this situation."

"What'dya mean Major?" asks Ferretti.

"Well, I was thinking -" I am interrupted by a snort from my other half. "back to the night of our wedding. Their problems started when Janet caught my bouquet and Daniel caught the garter. They've both been in marriages that did not end happily before. Maybe it… got them spooked."

"Spooked? A degree in astrophysics and you say spooked?" teases my husband.

"I believe MajorCarter is partially correct O'Neill. That is when their current estrangement began. However, neither DanielJackson nor DoctorFraiser were comfortable in the others presence after their experience under the N'Tinevale."

"Maybe she did something kinky and he didn't like it?" asks Ferretti and Jack chokes on his drink.

"Thanks Lou! There's an image I sooo coulda done without." Protests Jack.

"What? The Doc's… hot." He says, hesitating slightly as he looks at me.

"Yeah, but Daniel…" Jack wrinkles his nose. "Ewww."

Olmas and I share a quick smile before I bring the topic back on track. "Teal'c's right. I may have been… otherwise occupied at the time, but it makes sense."

"Sam! I so don't wanna have this discussion. Especially not with Daniel."

"Not the sex Jack. The mental connection. You said it yourself, 'have you ever wondered what it might be like walking through Daniel's mind.'"

"But we've fixed that now right? With those bracelet thingys." He looks from me to Hugh and Olmas for confirmation.

"Yes. But they're still unsure and they've both been hurt." Replies Hugh.

"I suck at this feelings stuff. Alright, so we still gotta make 'em talk? About… whatever."

"I believe we have formulated a suitable plan of action O'Neill. The mistletoe appears to be a most effective weapon."

"Okay, so we have a Christmas party, stick up some sprigs of mistletoe, they kiss, they talk, the end? Right?"

"It's a good start. Cassie and I will work on Janet. You guys get Daniel ready. I'll find the right music."

"There's gonna be specific music now?" whines Ferretti.

"And clothes. And cake."

Jack brightens predictably. "There's gonna be cake?"

I look down, desparately trying to hide my smile. "Yes Jack. There will be cake. And pie."

"Sweet." He stands up and helps me to my feet. "Well campers, it's been fun. But we need to pack up our troubles and head back to Kansas."

"Samantha told me your home is in a place called Colorado, why would you wish to settle elsewhere?" asks Olmas with a puzzled frown that has Ferretti hooting with laughter.