The characters from Dead or Alive belong to Team Ninja. all others are mine. This story is an unauthorised work done purely for my personal enjoyment, and is not intended to infringe on any of their rights in or their profits from these characters. But this story is copy write to me.
Comments, especially (constructive) criticism, always welcomed. Please e-mail me at
m452shakespeareyahoo.co.uk
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Got that lovin' feelin' - part 2 Bayman and ???
Kasumi : Okay, first draw is ....... Bayman! Who'll be dating ....... Hitomi!
Leifang : Damn!
Christie : Shit!
[Bayman looks at Christie]
Bayman : What? Don't you like the workings of fate?
Christie : No! You're the only man who truly understands me!
Jann Lee [who has by now regained consciousness] : Nonsense! All the men understand that you're a cold-hearted, murderous cow!
Zack : Right on, brother.
Helena : Actually, the women understand that as well.
[Leifang marches up to Bayman.]
Leifang : I'm warning you .... If anything happens to my Hitomi, there'll be hell to pay, do you understand me??
Bayman : Who the hell do you think you are, girlie?
Christie : Step away from my man. Now.
Leifang : Why, what are you going to do about it, you stupid woman?
[Tina smacks her head.]
Tina : Bad time for a dumb question .....
[Christie throws a kick at Leifang, who blocks. The two women begin fighting. The rest of the group look nervously for a way to separate them, apart from Ayane who's cheering Leifang on.]
Hitomi : Wow! She really DOES have a thing for me!
Brad Wong : What, a vibrator?
[Hitomi punches him in the stomach, then kicks him in the head when he doubles over. He falls unconscious. Bass and Leon look at each other and roll their eyes.]
[Meanwhile, Christie has dropped Leifang to the ground, and closes in for the kill. However, she is distracted when Ayane hits her over the head with a chair, allowing Leifang to roll over, grasp Christie's legs, and slam her face-down onto the floor, knocking her out.]
Lisa : Why were you helping Leifang, Ayane? Do you 'like' her, the way you 'like' Helena?
Ayane : Nah, just professional rivalry between assassins. I was just disposing of the competition.
[Bayman moves away, looking rather nervous.]
Hitomi : Oh well, let's get this over with .....
[Bayman, dressed in combat camouflages, and Hitomi, in denim and yellow Phoenix tee-shirt, enter a dark, dingy bar. Bayman looks at home - Hitomi looks pissed off.]
Bayman : I love this place! I always feel right at home ....
Hitomi (to herself) : That really reassures me .....
[Bayman kicks a drunk out of the way, dodges a chair thrown at his head, then decks a man who runs at him holding a broken bottle.]
[He strides up to the bar. Hitomi is looking very nervous at the looks being directed her way.]
Bayman : Yuri! A treble vodka for me, and .....? [He looks at Hitomi}
Hitomi : Um, a Bacardi and coke, please.
[The tough-looking bartender nods his head and starts pouring the drinks. Bayman looks round, sees a free table, and heads in that direction, followed by a very reluctant Hitomi.]
[Bayman sits down. Hitomi quickly sits down, trying to hide behind the nearby pillar as the stares of the other patrons are starting to freak her out. She notices there aren't any other women present - which also freaks her out ...]
Hitomi : Uh, is this not a public bar?
Bayman : Of course the public can come here. It's just they tend not to.
[Hitomi looks around at the broken glass on the floor, the tatty decoration, the dingy walls and grubby carpets, and shudders.]
Hitomi : I think I know why ....
Bayman : I see some of my old friends from the Spetznaz here.
Hitomi : These men are all ex-Army??
Bayman : Of course they are. Why did you think I came here?
Hitomi : And this is your idea of a great place for a date??
Bayman : Of course. Why, does it not meet your standards?
Hitomi : You know Bayman, if you think women like going out to places where there are scores of drunken ex-soldiers looking for a fight, you really need to get out more.
Bayman : Christie never complained ....
Hitomi : Why does that not surprise me ....
[Yuri brings them their drinks. At least, he gives Hitomi a drink with rum in it, and a rolled-up length of silver foil .... She picks it up.]
Hitomi : What is this??
Bayman : Your coke.
[She stares at him.]
Hitomi : I meant it to be in the glass with my Bacardi!
[Bayman tips the silver foil up so that the white powder inside pours into her glass.]
Bayman : There.
{Hitomi puts her head in her hands and sobs.]
Hitomi : I meant the soft drink 'coke'! You know, as in 'Coca Cola'!
Bayman : They don't serve nonalcoholic drinks here.
[Hitomi looks dazed.]
Hitomi : They .... don't ......
Bayman : Of course not. Here, it is vodka with everything, da?
[Three quarters of an hour have now passed. Bayman is exceedingly drunk. Hitomi, on the other hand, is still sober, and has somewhat battered knuckles, form the number of drunkards she's had to deck. She's also counting the minutes till she can get away from this 'date'.]
[Bayman is slurring his words badly.]
Bayman : Sho, you shee, I took aim, an' - WHAM!
[He falls off his stool and lies on the floor. Hitomi just rolls her eyes.]
Hitomi : Twelve minutes, eighteen seconds and counting.
Bayman :Huh?
[He starts muttering something in Russian. At least, Hitomi thinks it's Russian, but, not knowing the language, she can't be sure - it could be Swahili for all she knows. Bayman tries to pull himself, but ends up pulling his on drink onto his head. He yells something extremely rude, much to Hitomi's incomprehension.]
Hitomi : I wonder if Leifang still feels like a date? I need something to help me get over tonight.
[Twelve minutes later. Hitomi is sure that's how much time has passed, as she's been checking her watch every ten seconds or so .... ]
Hitomi : Eleven, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one ..... FREEDOM!!
[Bayman is lying on the floor, completely unable to stand upright. He mumbles something which Hitomi can't catch - not that she particularly cares to hear anything he has to say.]
Hitomi : Well, thank you for tonight - it's been a learning experience. I learnt just how far my patience will stretch, and I also learnt never to moan about being on a bad date with boys my age - nothing could compare to this date for being memorable for all the wrong reasons!
[She gets up, punches a drunk who's been hassling her for the last five minutes, and storms out of the bar.]
[Outside, she takes a deep breath, then heads back to the airport terminal.]
Hitomi : After that, a date with Leifang sounds like an excellent idea. Heck, after that, a date with Zack sounds good .... Okay, maybe that's taking things too far, but .....
Hitomi : Hmm, maybe Ein - sorry, Hayate - is free?
[She continues on her way, now wearing a big smile.]
[Meanwhile, back at the date selection process .....]
Kasumi :Okay, next up is to be ,,,,,, Hayate. [she bats her eyes seductively at her brother, who blushes.] Who is going out with .....
Awww, poor Hitomi. Will that be the worst date of the evening, or can someone have an even worse experience??
So, next chapter - who gets the Ninja Boss? Wait and see! ('cause I don't know yet, myself!)
(BTW, if any of you have ever tried writing dates between characters who should NEVER go out together - it's hard, isn't it? I've got a feeling this chapter isn't too good, but I just can't see how to write it better ... )