The Woman, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
I slept like a rock, but my bed mate did not have the same luck. He felt too confused in his mind to sleep, everything had happened so quickly. But he had wanted it to; after years of lonely nights and denied opportunities while everyone else around him enjoyed themselves. True, he had shied his whole life from physical contact, but that did not mean he did not want it. He had wanted this.
The question keeping him awake now was, was he in love with me? And the problem was he did not really know me, so he could not answer his own question. At last he slept; deciding that however it had happened, he had been sent to this new place, and he should try to change himself, and as Christine was now a world away, he could even try to move past her.
I woke up to the sound of my phone going off. I scrambled out of the bed, wrapping a robe around me as I hurried to answer the phone; not wanting the sound to wake my guest,
"Hello?" I answered in a whisper; taking the phone into the other room,
"Liv!" Rebecca's voice greeted me, "Why are you whispering?" I could hardly think of a lie before she figured me out, "is someone there?"
"Well…" I said uncertainly,
"Is it wallet slip guy? Did you sleep with him last night?"
She was too good, so I gave up, "Yes, and he is asleep still and I don't want to wake him,"
"About time you slept with that guy!" Rebecca laughed,
"About time? I have only known him for two days!" I said,
"Well, you get back to him honey; I will call you later,"
I hung up the phone and went back into my bed room and stared at the man in my bed; in the morning light his face looked worse than ever and I noticed how pale his skin was. He was not the most attractive man I had ever seen, but could I penalize him for that? All our lives we are told not to judge by what is on the outside; and if I did, what kind of a woman would that make me?
I lay down beside him again, he stirred slightly and turned toward me,
"Is it morning?" he asked me,
"Yes," He may not have been the prettiest face to wake up next to, but he was sweet in a way I was not familiar with and that was something, "Are you hungry?" I asked him, thinking of the eggs I had bought, not because I usually cooked eggs, but because I simply thought I should always have some around,
"No," he said, and he leaned over and kissed me again. He felt he simply could not help doing so; after the wait of a life time he finally was able to have the opportunity of intimacy, and it would not be wasted,
We lay there for another hour, just resting against each other, watching a light rain trickle down outside, before I insisted that we get up, and I insisted on making eggs.
"I am famous for my scrambled eggs," I told him,
"Are you also famous for burning bacon?" Erik asked me, and I turned to see that the other specialty I had had planned for the morning was shooting steam,
"Shit!" I cried, and I turned down the frying pan and tried to flip the bacon, but I ended up shooting grease back into my face, "Can we go out?" I begged him,
He ended up laughing at me, "You don't cook much do you?"
"Nope," I said proudly, "And I don't plan to start,"
"Well than I had better learn," Erik said to me, and he stood next to me by the stove, "How do I use this thing?"
In the end, breakfast was bad and burnt, but making it left me elated. I never ate at my table, I always ate in the living room in front of the television and watched the news. I led him past the table,
"People don't eat at tables in New York?" he asked me as we bypassed the table,
"Not me," I said as we sat on the couch and I picked up the remote to turn on the news; Erik watched me with interest; so that was how you used the big black box…
Erik sat and watched the moving pictures in silence; it was amazing; absolutely fascinating,
"How does this work?" He asked me, too interested to care if it seemed like an odd question,
We were watching a report about Supreme Court Judge appointment, and so I obviously assumed he was asking me how that worked, "Well, the president had to pick a nominee, then the nominee has to be approved by the Senate, and before that happened a Senate Judiciary Committee is formed…"
"No I mean this," he got up and touched the television, "How does this work?"
I stared at him for a moment, "You are asking me how the television works?"
"Yes; how does it work?"
"Well…" I realized that for a seemingly simple question I did not quite know the technical answer, "Give me a minute," I went over to my laptop and turned it on; I planned on looking up the definite answer to his question on line, but I ended up distracting him again as he came over to my side to see what I was doing,
"What…?" he just stared at the screen came to life,
"You haven't seen this kind of a laptop before?" I asked as I typed in his question and hit search,
Erik realized he was revealing too much of his inexperience; even he had an instinct to hide his flaws as much as he could, which was not an easy task for him, "No, I haven't," he watched as the computer did its thing,
"So you can ask it any question and it will find you the answer?" He asked, leaning over my shoulder,
"Well…yeah," I raised my eyebrow; he had to know how this worked,
Erik made a mental note, he had seen one of these laptops in his own apartment, and he wanted to try it out later,
"So here is your answer," I said, getting up to let him sit and read what I had found out on line,
"This is amazing," Erik said as he skimmed the passage,
I made a slight face; I had thought this un jaded thing he had going on was refreshing, but if he was going to be amazed by everything, even the television, than maybe I would get sick of it. Then I thought again; was I ready to write off a man just because he was interested in the world around him?
"So do you want to do something today?" I asked him,
"Oh…I don't…Ahh," he turned around to face me, "What did you have in mind?"
"I don't know," I said, sitting back down on the sofa and picking up my eggs, "Movie?"
Erik nodded, "Alright," although he did not know what a movie was,
"There is a movie about World War II I wanted to see, is that alright?" I asked him,
"Yes," although he did not know what World War II was,
"Good," I went to the front door and picked up my newspaper, "Alright, there is a showing at seven, and then we could go for dinner after?"
"Yes," he said; he had to be the most agreeable man about these things I had ever been with,
"Well then, I do have some work to do; if you want to go back to your apartment, I will come and get you when we have to leave,"
He mistook my saying that I had work to do for my meaning that I wanted him to leave; and he stood and made to go, "Erik!" I called and he turned back to face me, "You don't have to go yet," I went over and put my arms around him, "Stay a little longer,"
He did; we sat together on the couch and finished the news. It was an incredibly comfortable situation to sit in; I was curled up under his arm against his chest. With each passing moment I forgot more about my work and just wanted him to stay. Putting men before work was a no no to all working, independent women; however sometimes this is hard to remember.
Eventually Erik left, and I forced myself to sit down at my desk. As fascinating as litigation is to concentrate on, my mind kept drifting back to Erik; my strange new…what was he? Was he a boyfriend? Or was he going to be just a fling? The thing was, I had not had what I would consider a boyfriend in awhile; and I was sick of getting my hopes up only to have them dashed over and over again. As a woman in my position; the position of a hard working shoe loving thirty something, I was searching for love, but unfortunately under ever rock I overturned in the search I kept finding roaches and not romance.
I had to be careful with him; things had to move more slowly, a date here, a night there. And then I looked at the clock,
"Damn it, late again,"
I rapped on the door of Erik's apartment; he answered swiftly and to my surprise he was still in a bathrobe,
"Come in," he stepped back and I entered,
"I think you are going to have to find something else to wear," I teased him,
He half smiled at me, causing the features of his face to distort even further, "If you insist,"
I followed him to his room, on the way we passed his laptop and I saw he had been reading something about early construction of skyscrapers,
His closet was impressive, "Wow, a man with style, I'm impressed," I said as I looked through his clothes, "Oh…look at this suite! You should wear this on Monday!" I pulled out a black business suit and held it up to him, "This would look great,"
And then I realized; I was helping him make wardrobe choices after only knowing him for two days; too fast, "I'll…let you get dressed then," I said and I left his room,
I went to look at his computer again; he was reading about skyscrapers; which made sense, seeing as he was an architect. I had never dated an architect before, and I had to admit it was an interesting job; I really hoped he would do well in his interview, if he worked near me than we could meet for lunch easily…and then I stopped again; I was thinking ahead too much. But I really liked him…he had a presence I simply enjoyed. He felt real; and I felt a strange connection to him…
"Olivia?" the sound of him saying my name pulled me back to the moment,
"Ready to go?" I asked him, turning to face him; he looked ready; again he was dressed dark colors; dark jeans (he had noticed on other occasions that no one wore the black dress trousers he was used to) and a black sweater, "Do you own anything that is not black?" I teased him as we left the apartment,
"I believe I have a dark blue jacket somewhere," he responded seriously, and I laughed, and as we walked, after a moment of hesitation, Erik put his arm around me. He had seen this happen on the streets to, and his been wondering what would happen if he gave it a try. I did not pull away, which was a victory in his eyes. He wondered to himself if this was a new breed of woman he was dealing with, that could actually stand him.
Saturday night, and two New Yorkers were on the first real, official date, and what was more first date than dinner and a movie?
To my disappointment the movie I wanted to see was sold out, so we were forced to watch a romantic comedy. The only good thing about the whole experience was that Erik let me lean against his chest and rest my hand on his knee. To me the movie was crap, but to Erik it was like getting a lesson in the modern idea of love. And he wondered, was this the truth? Or was this just another form a spectacle, hiding its un reality with sparkles and glitter?
After the movie I made my opinions known, "That was the stupidest movie I have ever seen,"
"Really?" he asked me,
"Oh come on, you could not have enjoyed that," I said, "The plot was so unrealistic; all that crap about them being destined to meet each other and they had to save each other, it was so corny,"
"You don't believe people are destined to meet?" he teased me in a slightly sarcastic voice,
"No," I said firmly, "Because then how do you explain all the jerks you meet? What, was I destined to meet them and get my heart pulverized?"
"Maybe they were not the ones you were destined to meet," Erik said, but by the tone of his voice I could tell he was still joking with me,
"So what? When I meet the ass holes it is just bad luck, but when I meet the man I fall in love with it is destiny?"
"Maybe," and it sounded more like he was talking to himself than to me. What he was doing was having an epiphany; maybe Christine was not the only one for him, maybe that had just been bad luck or maybe it had had to happen to he could have the chance to meet…me.
"What are we Olivia?" he suddenly felt he had to know what I thought of him, before he went another step toward love and feeling he had to know if I was going to be there beside him,
"What do you mean?" I was thrown by his sudden question,
"Are we…how do you feel…about me?" he asked, stopping in the street and holding me by the shoulders,
I looked up into his eyes, they seemed frantic, desperate for an answer, "I like you…a lot," I said uncertainly, now realizing I did not quite know how I wanted to answer him, "I just don't want to move too quickly,"
"What does that mean?" he asked me, clearly not understanding what I was trying to say,
"It means…I like you," I said,
"And you want to be with me?" He wanted to know if someone would actually chose to be with him,
"Yes," I said softly, and his face brightened slightly, "And…" I continued, "Is…do you feel the same way about me?"
"And then he kissed you?" Jackie said skeptically; it was Sunday afternoon and I was eating with the girls; it was our usual end of the weekend wrap up meeting where we shared all our misadventures for the past several nights, "Sounds like he was trying to avoid telling you something,"
"I think he was just being sweet," Susan insisted,
"I don't know," I shook my head, "I mean, he goes to all the trouble of making me say that we are dating, and that I like him a lot, so why didn't he say anything back?"
"Well, how was the rest of the night? Did you have good sex?" Rebecca, ever practical, asked me, and I nodded, "Than I don't see what the problem is,"
"The problem is I really like him; he's…interesting, and I feel a connection to him,"
"Maybe you love him," Susan said eagerly,
"Oh my God," Jackie said, and Rebecca rolled her eyes,
"Susan, as cute as that is, I have only known him for a few days, slow down on the love word," I said,
"No, no, it can happen," Susan insisted, "My friend said that the first time she saw her husband she knew instantly that he was the man she wanted to marry,"
"I think I am going to puke in my salad," Jackie said cynically,
Later that day I got to thinking; was there such a thing as love at first sight? Or did that simply exist in the world of fairy princesses and knights and wicked witches? I wasn't sure; so I went to what I was sure of; my work.
Monday morning came and Erik felt nervous; he had been so preoccupied with meeting me and catching up on one hundred and twenty four years of history he had not thought much about his impending interview. He was not sure he knew what to say and he was terrified of being laughed out of the office.
I did as much as I could to comfort him; I helped him pick out his clothes for that morning, and I took him to the office building,
"You are going to be fine, you are brilliant, just relax and call me when it is over," I said, kissing him lightly at the entrance to the building, "If this does not work out there are hundreds of jobs in the city, you will be fine,"
He nodded stoically, made to say something and then stopped. He took me in his arms for one long kiss in which I felt like he was a man going off to his doom in battle who was holding me for the last time, "I will see you after," he said, and he entered the building.
He felt his legs shake and his heart pound as he asked a man at the front desk were Mr. Mont's office was located. The man said it was on the top floor and Erik was glad I had showed him how to use an elevator.
When he reached the right floor, the doors opened and he was faced with another desk behind which a very pretty woman was seated,
"Are you Erik Duval?" she asked brightly,
"Yes," he spoke nervously,
"I am Karen Hegel, we spoke over the phone," she stood and shook his hand, blushing slightly as she did so, "You can have a seat; Mr. Mont will be with you shortly,
Erik felt to wound up to sit, so he began pacing the lobby, an old habit of his,
"Nervous?" Karen asked with a brilliant smile,
"A bit yes," Erik admitted,
"Are you new in New York?" she asked, twirling her blond hair around her finger
"Fairly new, yes," Erik did not understand why she was smiling at him the way she was; what he did not know was Armani suit guarantied instant flirt,
"Maybe I could show you around sometime," she said, and Erik just stared at her for a moment; she could not possibly be asking him out? And even if she was, he had no desire to go anywhere with her, because he was sure he was supposed to be with me,
A door opened suddenly and Mr. Mont appeared; a fifty something man who looked more like a forty something man, he smiled broadly at Erik,
"Mr. Duval?"
"Yes, that's me," he said quickly,
"Come on in; let's get started,"
Erik left the still smiling secretary and entered the office, a fresh wave of nervousness coming over him. The office was spacious and had large windows which offered a great view of the city,
"Well, Mr. Duval," Mont began,
"Call me Erik," more out of habit of being called Erik than anything else,
"Well Erik, we are very exited to have someone in here from Paris," Erik just nodded and smiled slightly,
Mont studied him; he took in the marred side of his face and gave a mental check against him; he would not be able to go out and meet with prospective clients very well with a face like that; he would have to be strictly design if they hired him, "Can I see you resume?"
Erik froze, "My…my what?"
"Oh! Maybe they call it something else where you come from; a list of what jobs you have had in the past, and where you earned your degree in architecture…" Mont watched as the bewildered look stayed on Erik's face, "You don't have a resume?"
"No," Erik said, "But I can tell you what I have done," He stopped suddenly; what could he say? All projects he had worked on were now quite old, and he had found that the country of Persia did not even exist anymore, and he had never gone to school…
"Well?" Mont waited,
"Um…I…" Erik worked to come up with something,
"I think we are done here," Mont said; he had the finest architects begging for jobs from him, he did not need to listen to this,
"Wait!" Erik did not want to give up with out a fight, "I know I sound like a lunatic and if I were you I would ask me to leave too, but just give me a chance; ask me to design something; anything, and I will do it, right now,"
Mont sighed, he supposed he could give him a chance, "Alright, if I wanted a new tower, what would you design?"
Erik though for a moment, he hoped he knew what he was doing; he had spent all his time not with me researching new types of buildings and he had quickly understood the concept of high rises and skyscrapers, and he thought he had an idea of how to design them better, "Can I used that pencil and paper?"
Mont handed him the small pan and pencil and watched as he Erik drew a small but detailed sketch. Mont sat stunned at Erik drew out what most now did on a computer and in moments he was looking at a very good plan for a tower,
"Some of the measurements are most likely a bit off," Erik said as he handed Mont the paper, "But with more time…"
"This is amazing," Mont breathed, staring at an almost perfect design, "Are you some kind of genius?"
"He really said that?" I asked Erik excitedly, we were sitting in a restaurant close by; it was my lunch break and he was happily telling me about his interview,
"Yes, and then he said I stared next Monday,"
"That's wonderful," I really was proud of him; I smiled, I was just…happy, because everything had gone well and we were together and laughing and…
"And I think the secretary asked me out on a date,"
And then my heart stopped beating; the secretary? The personal bane of my existence; how could he tell me that? He knew that I had had my heart broken once this way, what was he trying to say? Had Jackie been right? Had he not wanted me to say I had feelings for him because he did not feel very strongly about me?
I had been so ridiculous! Thinking that because he held a door for me he was my prince; believing in all that romantic crap Susan pushed about love at first sight. Well, I was not going to let him know that he had hurt me,
"You should go out with her," I said lightly,
"What?" he stopped eating,
"We are not that serious, you can see other people," I looked up at him for the first time since he had mentioned the secretary, and suddenly I felt like the witch in the fairly tale; the way he looked at me you would have thought I mortally wounded him.
Erik felt like I had killed him; he had thought we were serious, and he suddenly hated himself and all woman; they always tricked him into believing they truly cared for him before they showed their true witch color,
We did not speak for the rest of the day; and that night I found I could not sleep. I did not want to be the woman who ran back to a man because she though she needed him, but at one o'clock AM I decided that if I let him go because of this, I was not a weak woman, I was just a fool.
I banged on his door, realizing too late I should have just called him. He answered still wearing the suit form earlier,
"I didn't mean it," I said to his confused face, "I don't want you to go out with that other woman,"
"I don't want to either," Erik said,
"Well…" I now had nothing planned to say,
"You ran over here in you bed clothes?" Erik looked me up and down and laughed slightly; I had forgotten a robe and I was wearing a thin nightgown, "You had better come inside,"
I slept at his place that night. As I lay next to him I realized I was becoming addicted to his presence there, and I did want to be careful of becoming the woman who could not live with out her man. But I could be the woman who was happy with her boyfriend, and who helped him pick out his clothes, and I hoped the scary witch inside me stayed hidden…for good. And if not, I hoped a kiss would transform me back.