Anyways, here's chapter three. It might suck, it might not. But you should tell me. OK?
Chapter three- Film, Movies, what's the difference?
"Miss Muffy?" Collins asked, after he and the rest of these odd people stopped laughing. "Um...Benny...you hate her most, you should probably tell him."
"Miss Muffy is the worst yuppie scum you will ever lay eyes on. She comes over here about once a month in these incredibly expensive suits with pearls, diamonds, hell I think she may have been wearing the Crown Jewels once, everything given to her on a silver platter..." at this point, Roger excuses himself to use the 'potty', and (THANK GOD), goes in the opposite direction of the kitchen... "anyways, Muffy comes around and threatens us with eviction if we don't pay the rent within 10 seconds. You have to have the check ready, or she kicks you out of the place. And believe me, for being that rich, this place is a fucking joke."
Apparently, Benny has some issues with Muffy...who names their child Muffy, anyways?
"So...she's the landlady?" I ask, not quite understanding why Benny hates this woman with a passion..
"No. She's the landlord's daughter. And Benny hates her attitude, not anything else." Collins says, laughing a bit more at Benny.
"I always hope she gets mugged on her way out, wearing that jewlery just to point out that we can't afford it..." Maureen adds, fingering her thread and beads necklace that she has on. To be honest, the necklace...eh...but watching her finger it...HELL YEAH!
I, very smartly, keep this thought to myself and ask why there is a toilet in the kitchen.
"I'm guessing the previous owners tore down the wall that used to connect the kitchen to the bathroom, but couldn't remove the toilet." Collins says, and then adds "it was a smart move, really. I mean...first of all, more room...second...if you ever need to puke after eating one of Maureen's meals, it's pretty close by." He takes a hit, in more ways than one, mostly becuase Maureen smacked him upside the head as he was smoking.
"So...Mark, what do you do?" Roger says, sitting on the chair next to the sofa. "I mean, we got your whole...well, we didnt get much from you, did we? Except for some fake story, the fact that you dropped out of Brown and have two hotplates to warm our non-existant food."
"Mostly becuase whenever we have food, Maureen uses all of it to create a casserole." Collins adds.
"Please. Stop exaggerating." Maureen says, making a face. "We have cereal, bread and pasta all the time. And milk."
"Yeah, and when we run low, what do we get? A-wait, what was it called again, Maureen?" Roger says, looking at me as if to tell me that I need to pay attention to this next part.
"...A carb-erolle...you know, if you don't like it, you don't need to eat it." Maureen says, sticking her tongue out at Roger.
"Maureen, have you ever tasted that shit?" Roger asked, "I mean, come on, Reeney, it tastes like cardboard...only slimy and filled with worms...Mark, the stuff is Captain Crunch, spaghetti and bread...it's all just mixed together...and packed in with water..."
"Don't call me Reeney." Maureen says with clenched teeth. "And you might not like it, but I'm sure that Collins and Benny like it." She then looks over at them, obviously expecting something other than disgust...all I can say is..poor Maureen.
Benny violently shakes his head while waving his arms in front of his face...and (of course) laughing.
"Oh no, don't drag my ass into this...you know I'm strictly against anything where bread and water get mixed. It's a jail thing." Collins says-hold on a second...JAIL!
"You were in..?" I said, apparently looking a tad too surprised, becuase all of a sudden, everyone was laughing at me again...people like to laugh at me, apparently.
"Yeah...I attempted to stage a coup de' etat at M.I.T...they kicked me out after finding out I was HIV positive...stupid ignorant freaks..." meh? What's this? HIV? I'd heard of it, it was in all the newspapers, but I never knew it actually infected real people...very stupid of me, now that I look back, but once again, Superbia boy...I'm going to milk that excuse until it no longer applies, by the way. "Well...actually, I might have gotten the boot after...I can't really remember...but Ikinda...made their virtual reality equipment self-distruct...it was pretty funny actually. All these geeks with thick glasses" I fixed my glasses at this point, "and their shirts tucked into their pants" yeah..attempted to pull my shirt out of my pants now... "were trying to stop the smoking and all they got was the same message; ACTUAL REALITY, ACT UP! FIGHT AIDS!"
Feeling very geeky and MIT-like, I took off my glasses to clean them...yeah...I was...cleaning them...and listened to Roger as he continued Collins' thought.
"That's actually why he's here in New York, ain't that right, Collins?" he said, waiting for Collins to nod before proceeding, "what was it, two, three years ago? Well, Collins came here to dear old Manhattan, and looked for an apartment. I happened to inherit one from my dear old uncle, who used to sublet it out to people around here...I was raised in White Plains, which is like...20 seconds away from here, no joke. So, I moved in, found Collins and we just clicked." Roger thought about this for a minute or two, and then looked at me again. "So, Mark, you never really answered my question. What do you do?"
What do I do? Hm...well...ok, if this were a Broadway musical, I would randomly burst out into song at this point...and I kinda feel like singing...but I'm a horrible singer, this is not a Broadway musical (damn...how boring would this be as a musical? Who the hell would come and see a musical like this?), and last but not least...um...well, I don't have a third point, but these things always need to have three points...so I'll just say that I can't sing again. OK? Forgive my lack of creativity. It's why all my screenplays suck. Oh yeah, question asked. I should probably answer.
"I'm a filmmaker. I make films." I say, smiling palely. I then look at the camera next to me... "Why else would I have a camera with me?"
"Um...it's called tourism." Roger said, raising his eyebrows. "So, what kind of movies do you make?"
"I don't make movies. I make films. Documentaries, really." I said. I hate it when people mistake movies for films.
"What's the difference?" Benny said, finally speaking up. Is it just me, or has Benny not said anything for like...20 minutes?
"Movies are thos idiotic things that people pay money to watch, even though they have no content, no serious thought into them, and there is not one bit of technique. Any asshole can call himself a director of movies. For instance, there has never been nor will there ever be a pornographic film...I just don't see Mike Nichols panning left on a girl's..." I'll leave what Mike Nichols would be panning left to the imagination...but I just wanted to get my thoughts out there...eh.
"Who's Mike Nichols?" Maureen asked, looking slighting interested. Of course, by slightly interested, I mean that she's bored, but she doesn't wanna show it.
"Mike Nichols?" They don't know who Mike Nichols is...damn... "He's an amazing director! He's directed tons of great stuff." Maureen still looked confused, so I decided to give her an example. "He directed 'The Graduate'...ever heard of that one?" OK, I was being sarcastic...what? Do you blame me?
"I think so...isn't that the movie where the boy sleeps with a girl and her mother or something?" Maureen said, biting her bottom lip. Gotta say, she's pretty damn cute when she does that.
"Yes. That's it. You ever seen it?" I asked, looking around for takers.
"Nope..." Benny, Roger, Maureen and Collins all say at the same time.
"What? Really? You've never seen 'The Graduate'?" This is nuts. They all shake their heads again, leaving me in almost shock. Who hasn't seen the greats of film! "OK, how about...Amadeus?" More nods...what? It won the freakin' Oscar, people! "You had to have seen Bladerunner!" More shaking of the head! "ET? Indiana Jones? Star Wars? Don't you go to movies?"
"Hey, don't get all huffy...I think I saw ET..." Benny said. "And I definately saw Star Wars. That was the shit. I just haven't seen a movie-oh, I'm so sorry-film, in a couple years..."
"I saw Indiana Jones." Roger said, "I even got that hat. Becuase that hat...man, it's just a great hat." He ran somewhere and came out with-Lord and Behold-the hat.
"And hey, I see films, or whatever you say. I even act in some films." Maureen said, getting all defensive.
"Maureen..." Roger said, and I smile, knowing that Roger will in some way, get Maureen...it's sad, isn't it? I've known these people for like...5 hours, and I already know that Roger will piss off Maureen again...doesn't take long to figure that one out...
"What?" She says, looking over at Roger.
"Believe me. That wasn't a film." Maureen scowls, "In fact, you weren't even acting..."
"What?"
"Yeah, Maureen..didn't you hear what I said?" I had to join in. The opportunity was there...I wasn't even sure on my facts, but it needed to be said. "Pornos don't count."
Maureen screamed something about me being the same as the others, ran into ...some room, and slammed the door. Roger and Benny just started sniggering while Collins grabbed my head and said, "Yeah...you'll fit in just fine around here..."
I sure hope so. Becuase this seems like a fun-ass place to live.
Another chapter finished, and if I get reviews, I promise you that the next chapter will not be in the same night. I think three chapters ought to cover one night, don't you? It's like a real-time movie right here...kinda like watching a season of 24...is anyone else hooked on that show? I got the dvd's for the fourth season and literally spent 24 hours within three days watching the entire series...
I know, I'm a dork. Get over it. P
hyperleo