GalaxyDancer's "Flowers and Spikes"

Chapter 04: "I'll Crush Her!"

Author's Comments:

Heh heh heh . . . and now you see the meaning of the word "crush" can be misinterpreted. Of course, we now know Zim's gonna need a little assistance from his worst enemy (boy won't THIS be enjoyable to read, even though it's so short), so let's watch him come crawling to Dib for help.

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That evening, things were almost normal. And using the word "almost" usually means not at all. In fact, could things get even less normal?

Dib heard a knock on his door. Automatically, he got up and ran to it, excited. This could be his big chance! It would be perfect!

"Maybe it's Mysterious Mysteries! Maybe it's Crop Circles Magazine! Finally, someone has come to their senses and believed me about something! I can't wait to see the look on Zim's face when he realizes I got a visit from-" Dib opened the door and immediately his happy mood was destroyed. ". . . him."

Zim didn't look happy either. "First of all, Dib, I want you to know that coming to you was not my first idea."

"Yes it was," interrupted Gir, standing way behind him in the lawn and listening in on the conversation.

There was a pause. Zim turned around, outraged, and yelled, "BE QUIET, GIR!"

Dib shook his head. "If this is one of your stupid computer problems, or Voot Cruiser glitches, or if you need me to fix your satellite again, then you can count me-"

"Not this time, horrible Dib thing," Zim answered before Dib could finish his sentence. "This time it's different."

Dib stared with a bored expression. "Let me guess. You're here to destroy me again, right?"

Zim crossed his arms. "Fortunately for you, no, but it's the next thing on my list."

Now Dib seemed slightly interested. He wasn't as bored. So he listened to what Zim had to say.

"There's this strange Earth girl -Lin- who earlier stared at me until she forced me to threaten to kill her! She asked me about 'mood rings', and . . . what else? I . . . think that's it. But my point is, Dib, that-"

Dib suddenly burst out laughing. But Zim looked as if he'd been slapped. How could anybody find any of this the slightest bit humorous at all? This was horrible! It was an outrage! He had a big problem here. He had a REALLY big-

"Crush on a girl!" laughed Dib, pointing at Zim though he was four feet in front of him. "Who would have guessed?"

Zim thought Dib was insane. Well, more than usual. But then he realized there was plenty of truth to Dib's words. "Crush? Yes, of course! That's it! Dib, your insane weird babbling has given me the perfect idea! So, I no longer need your assistance. See ya." He turned and began his walk home from his enemy's house. Then, as he neared the edge of Dib's property, he stopped and said, turning to face Dib, "Oh, and I'll be back to destroy you."

Dib was on the ground, pounding his fists as he laughed, tears streaming down his face. "Why? So I can't tell everybody your stupid secret crush? Geez, Zim, they say love is blind, but isn't this . . . a little . . . too much intermixing!"

Zim gave him an odd look, not understanding half of what he was talking about for more than one reason, one of them being that his words were all blended because he was trying not to laugh while he said them.

Gir stopped poking the electric fence and electrocuting himself to look at Dib, then fell to the ground laughing just as hysterically for no reason. After a few minutes of Zim staring at him, he got up and ran to his master's side.

"You done?" asked Zim dully.

"LET'S GO SHOPPING!" cried Gir. ". . . for squirrel babies!"

"That's what I thought. Let's go."

Gir marched next to Zim like a soldier on a mission with a goofy expression. Dib continued to laugh.