Yu Gi Oh in Batman: Revelation
Disclaimer: Only Kazuki Takahashi and Bob Kane & Bill Finger are the rightful owners of their wonderful creations of entertainment.
Chapter Four: Death of a 1000 smiles
Dentist's Office/Night: October 18, 2005
The Police Commissioner Yugi Mutou, goes in for his annual check-up. He sees the Nurse, a blonde female. Continuing his walk to the dentist's room, he's greeted by him, who's still washing his hands at the sink.
"You know, Doctor Kana, I really hate these check-ups."
He sits down on the patient's chair.
"Well, Mutou... what in this miserable world is more beautiful, than A NICE BIG SMILE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughs the Joker.
"Hargh!" screams Yugi.
As he's about to run away, the Nurse quickly gets out of gun, and fires. The bullet disperses into some bondage rope, and straps Mutou onto his chair.
"Naughty, Naughty. Jump around like that and the doctor won't give you a lollipop!" says the Nurse as she reveals herself to be Catherine.
"Kana... Arkana! And you...! You're his love-life! That Catherine!"
She gags his mouth with a cloth.
"My, my... This doesn't look good at all!" states Arkana as he stares at Mutou's terrified face.
"I'm afraid... "
He takes out a drilling machine.
"...Everything will have to go! Heh-heh-heh-hahahahaha!" shouts the sadistic clown as he's about to drill into Mutou's head.
Then suddenly, the door bursts open. CRACK! Seto Kaiba enters the room, now.
"I was on my way here for my check-up, but then I heard some screams and some maniacal laughter. It was all too easy, Joker. Sloppy. Predictable."
Takes out a prank false teeth, and tosses it.
"Next time give me a better hint, 'cause you're starting to lose your edge."
"Excuse me? But the teeth were my idea. So's this!" claims Catherine.
She instantly sprays Seto with some gas. Psst-psst-psst-psst--
"Aha... COUGH-COUGH-COUGH-COUGH-COUGH-COUGH!"
"Hahahaha! That's a real gasser, huh, Arkana?"
The Joker grabs Catherine by the shoulders.
"I give the punch line around here, GOT IT?"
"Yes, sir."
As the two 'clowns' walk pass a coughing Seto and a tied-up Mutou...
"Well, Seto... it's been a hoot as always. But I really must run... may the floss be with you! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!"
The deranged maniac hurls a grenade onto Mutou's lap. But, before it could detonate, the brown-haired billionaire takes it away and throws it out the window.
KA-WHOOOOM!
Seto removes the cloth from Mutou's mouth.
"Thanks for saving my life, kid."
"Yeah..."
Joker's Lair: Later that night
In some abandoned warehouse, a sadistic clown, tries thinking of new ideas for future plans against Kaiba.
"Ahem?" declares Catherine in her Harley Quinn outfit.
Getting no response from her beloved, she tries again.
"Ahem?"
"Go away. I'm busy right now, Catherine."
"Aww, come on, Puddin'. Don't you wanna make love to me?"
A little pissed, he shoves her away.
"Awargghh! Umph!"
"Argh! Kaiba was right! That setup play was stupid! Too lame! It's time I capped off our feud with his ultimate humiliation!"
He takes some papers, and looks through them.
"Followed by his deliciously, delirious death!"
Pondering, Catherine suggests, "Why don't you just shoot him?"
"Just shoot him? Why, when he's Batman... he's wearing that goddamn body armor of his!"
"He's the Batman?" asks the blonde.
"Oh, yes he is. But know this, my sweet. The death of both Seto Kaiba and Batman must be nothing less than a masterpiece! The triumph of my sheer, homicidal genius over his ridiculous mask and gadjets!"
He shoots some acid on some Seto Kaiba dummy. Whsst-whsst-whsst-whsst...
As the clown prince of crime goes back to his desk, he spots a plan schematic.
"Well, hold the phone!" says Arkana as he picks up the plan.
"Here's one I forgot! The Death of a 100 Smiles! I'll lure Kaiba to a secret lair, then BANG! Knock him to my specially prepared piranha tank. Hahahahaha! The last thing that the billionaire will see are all those beautiful, hungry smiles as they rip him to... Oh wait, wait...(realizes) now I know why I scrapped this plan."
The lunatic tosses the schematic aside.
"Piranhas can't smile! Even my 'ol Joker toxin couldn't do the trick!" sighs Arkana.
"I know how I can make some smiles, Puddin'.
Moments later, she's thrown out of the door and onto the filthy ground, covered in mud.
"Awgh! Face it, Catherine, this sucks. Before, you used to be a female stripper, and now you're hopelessly in love with a psychopathic clown. How did I get like this from Arkana? It's been that Kaiba-boy! That rich, arrogant, self-centered jerk! I remember that day when I came back to Arkana 'bout a week ago. He used to tell me stories about how he had an abusive father, a run-away mom, and lots of other secrets... I guess... Wait! I got an idea..."
Police Department: About an hour later
The T.V. turns on, with a recording of Catherine, making a confession.
TV: If this tape reaches Seto Kaiba, I hope it's not too late for you to help me. It's no joke, my love-life, Arkana's gone off the deep-end. Because Seto Kaiba stopped him from killing Mutou, he said that he's gonna take out the whole city! I've seen the plans, the gas bombs, everything! As she takes off her mask. I've finally realized that this isn't funny anymore. I can help you get him, if you promise me protection and Kaiba's 3 Blue-Eyes cards and duel disc."
"Someone contact the Kaiba Mansion, now!" orders Yugi.
Docks: Later that night
The blonde female, waits ontop of the docks. From Seto's sports car, he sees the woman, waiting there.
"Well, Seto. Time to do this without being Batman tonight."
"Catherine?" asks the billionaire playboy as he walks towards her.
"Yes, Mr. Kaiba?"
"Open the briefcase, now."
"Certainly."
She opens it, revealing several papers inside.
"I want Mutou to see these. If what you said was true, then the police will--"
"TRAITOR!" screams a familiar voice in the water. "No one betrays me and lives!" states the Joker, with his machine gun.
BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA!
Taking out a random card from his deck, Kaiba swiftly hurls it towards the Joker's head. Shockingly, the Joker's head is severed, and it's revealed to be a robot.
"Argh!" screams Seto, who's in pain and falls down.
Behind him, Catherine, holds some syringe. Obviously, she injected something in Kaiba's body.
"Sweet dreams, sucker."
Aquacade Building: Later that night
"Uuunnnhhhh..." utters Seto as he wakes up.
He sees that he's chained, from top to bottom; upside-down above a piranha tank.
"Hey, you're awake, finally!"
"The Joker...? Where...?"
"It's just me Batman, no Joker, no gas bombs, no city in peril... just you, that tank, and me."
"I should've know he'd tell you my secret. But, why do this to me?" asks Seto.
"To show Arkana that I can really pull of one of his plans. You see, he could never get these carnivorous fishes to smile, but then I had the bright idea of hanging the victim. That's you, upside-down. That way to you, it'll look like they're smiling. Clever?"
"Brilliant." replies Seto in a dull, monotone voice.
"Yeah, yeah, I can tell you're less than thrilled. You know for what it's worth, I enjoyed my romps with the Joker, but there comes a time when a gal wants more. And, now all this gal wants is to settle down with her lovin' sweetheart."
"You and the Joker?"
"That's right!"
"Heh heh heh heh heh..."
"I've never seen you laugh before..."
"Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha..."
"I don't think I like it!"
"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA..."
"Cut it out! You're giving me the creeps!"
"You little fool. The Joker doesn't love anything except himself. Wake up Catherine. He had you pegged for hired help the minute you walked back to him."
"That's not-- no. NO! He told me things, secret things that he never told anyone!"
"Was it his line about the abusive father? Or the one about the run-away mom? He's gained a lot of sympathy with that one."
"Stop it! You're making me confused!" screams Catherine as she tries to block her ears.
"What was it he told that one parole officer... Oh yes, "There was only one time I ever saw dad really happy. He took me to the ice show, when I was seven."
"Circus. He said it was the circus." says Harley Quinn, in a broken tone.
"He's got a million of them, Catherine." adds Seto.
"You're wrong! My Puddin' does love me, he does! You're the problem!"
She walks towards the chain's pulley.
"And, now you're gonna die and make everything right! Heh heh."
As he's being lowered into the tank below, "Except that he'll never believe you did it."
"Huh? Sure he will."
"How's Joker gonna know I'm really gone? All those fish will leave are scraps of bone and cloth; Anyone can fake that! True, you got my deck and duel disc, but it's not the same as a body. He'll never buy it."
Joker's Lair: Moments later
RING-RING-RING
"Hah! Boring! Lame! Not funny! Been done! Too Riddler!" exclaims Joker as he tosses several plans away.
RING-RING-RING
"WHAT?" screams the sadist as he grabs the phone.
"Catherine? Oh, where the hell have you been? Yeah, yeah... Kaiba, eh? Oh, you don't say... (Realizes) YOU HAVE WHO TIED UP WHERE?"
Moments later, a purple car speeds on the roads of Domino.
Aquacade Building: Later
"Well, well... thanks to you, Mr. Smarty Bat! When I told Arkana what I was doing, he was so thrilled, he could hardly speak!"
THUD!
"Catherine!" screams Joker.
"Hi, Puddin'. You're just in time to see the--"
SMACK! The crazed clown slaps her hard as she gets shoved harsly. Meanwhile, Seto winces at the hit.
"Excuse me, I'll be just a minute!" states the clown (to Kaiba).
"But, Puddin'... I don't understand... don't you finally wanna get rid of Batman?"
"Only if I do it, idiot!"
"But, I stole your plan, see? Everything just like you said: Except that I hung the guy upside-down, so he'd see the piranha's frowns as smiles, instead. Now it all works."
As he takes the plan away from her, "But you had to explain it to me! If you had to explain a joke, there is no joke!"
"Now calm down, Puddin'."
"You've forgotten what I told you before, ONLY I CAN DO THE JOKE, NOT YOU!" , screams monster as he pushes Catherine towards the window.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" CRASH!
"And don't call me Puddin'."
"My fault, I should've listened..." utters Quinn weakly, then dies.
Pulling Seto back from the tank, "I really gotta apologize for the woman. No respect for tradition! Let's just pretend the whole thing never happened, and do this some other time."
As he slaps Seto's cheek playfully, "Okay?"
When he's walking away, whistling... he realizes something.
"Then again... this is a very rare opportunity. Well, you know as they say..."
He takes out a gun from his coat.
"A Bat in the hand is worth two in the belfry. I guess you're going out on a laugh after all! Hahahahahahaha!"
Before he can fire and kill him, Seto, still chained, knocks the murderer's gun into the tank.
BLAM! KA-SHHSSSTTT!
Using his training, Seto leaps up and continues his way towards his duel disc. Grasping onto the device's sharp edge, he cuts the chains out. Joker, now running away from being bitten by the piranhas, rushes to the rooftops. With Kaiba hot on his trail, the psychopathic clown, leaps towards the impossible distance to the other building.
As he grabs and falls quickly, "Ugh! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Seto watches in slight horror.
Monorail/Ontop: Moments later
"Made you look! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
He makes a raspberry towards Kaiba. Pppbbbbtttt!
Suddenly, Kaiba makes a surprising appearance with a nano-tech hand glider.
"She almost had me, you know. Arms and legs chained, dizzy from the blood rushing to my head... I had no way out other than convincing her to call you. I knew your massive ego would never allow anyone else the honor of killing me. Though I have to admit, she came a lot closer than you ever did, Puddin'."
Angered, the Joker rushes at his archenemy, strangling him.
"Argh!"
In response, Seto quickly strikes the villain at his ears. Again, the killer clown uses two swift punches to his jaw.
"Aaurrgghh! Uggnnnhhh!"
As the Joker's about to continue his assault, Kaiba defends with a fierce roundhouse.
WHHAAPP!
Now, Kaiba's in the lead, until...
KRRUUACCK! "Uurrgh!"
"Haha!" WHACK!
Taking out a knife, he intends to kill his dark adversary once and for all.
"Heh-heh... Hahahahahahahahaha!"
The Joker strikes Kaiba, but... he grabs the menace's arm and does a powerful uppercut, knocking him away from the monorail.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screams Arkana as he's falling to his demise.
"Are you alright, sir?" asks Arthur on the radio.
"Yes, I am... unfortunately Arkana killed his girlfriend."
"Shocking indeed, sir. But, we cannot afford to pay our respects to the dead now. The Scarecrow's been sighted at the Domino's Wax Museum."
"I'll be there. Can you send the Burst Stream to me?"
"Not at the moment, sir. Use the hand glider and contact me immediately so I can check on your coordinates."
"Okay. I'm on my way!" , says Kaiba as he glides into the air.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Scarecrow's next! Can Kaiba defeat one of his earliest foes, again? If so, will he survive to find out that an even a more dangerous threat is about to occur? Find out this and more secrets on the next chapter: Fear the Scarecrow!
Yes, Catherine really died, unlike the animated episode or the comic version. This series is a darker version than you'll know; like how Batman Begins is.