Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, I didn't make any money from writing this fic, but wouldn't it be a great world if I could?

Hope and Darkness: Chapter Two
By Symee-Sama

WARNING: SOME ADULT SCENES

The room was dark, lit only by the desk lamp that Relena had turned on when the room had become too dark for her to read without damaging her eyes. For hours she had read over the military reports that the Preventors had sent her. All of them had told her the same thing.

There was no way for them to win this war.

The enemy force that was currently orbiting the earth seemed to have weapons of great force, but the Preventors had no knowledge of how to fight them. There were an unknown multitude of them that there was no way of calculating. The Preventors had intercepted transmissions from them, but didn't have the equipment or the knowledge to decipher them.

Relena sighed and rested her head in her hands. There had to be something, some way to defeat them, but she couldn't see it. The Gundams were Earth's best chance, but she had ordered them destroyed. The weapons plants that could have generated enough power for the humans to have a fighting chance, she had closed.

Guilt nagged at the edges of her mind and her eyes filled with tears before she dashed them away. There was no time for that now; there was no time for useless emotions and guilt. She had already signed the orders to start the reconstruction of the Gundams and had reopened the plants, but she had no idea if it would be enough.

Was it her fault that the world had been left helpless against this unknown force?

She jerked as the thought came into her head and guilt threatened once again to consume her. The reports that lay scattered in front of her seemed repulsive and she stood, walking a careful distance away from them so she could collect her thoughts. She had been so concerned with her own ideals, had been so sure that pacifism could work that she had never even stopped to consider the possibility that they would have to deal with something other than humans fighting against each other.

She'd told the world that there would be enough ships to evacuate the citizens of the planet, but as she had just discovered, there weren't enough for any more than half of them. More space-jets were being produced at the highest rate possible, but there was no guarantee that it would be enough. Her blood chilled at the thought of half the people on this planet being left to die while she, an important political figure, was transported off the Earth in a private spacecraft.

Relena pressed a hand to her forehead as if that would make the pressure that was building there dissipate. There was so much more she needed to do… she glanced at the television, only half-watching the news report that dominated the screen.

"…protestors have gathered around the ESUN Parliament, demanding that Vice Foreign Minister Dorlian give them an explanation for today's speech. The main concern was the Vice Foreign Minister's decision to shut down many weapons production plants that many believe would have given the Earth an edge against these unidentified attackers. The protests have been peaceful so far, but may become violent if a clearer idea of Earth's situation is not presented. In other news…"

The pictures and words blurred together into a jumbled roar within Relena's mind. The people blamed her and they were right to do so. She slid in a boneless heap to the floor as the reality of the situation began to sink in.

Through her desire to eradicate war, she had destroyed the best hope of her people's survival.

The tears again threatened to fall and again, she dashed them away. She didn't have time for them now. She had made a terrible mistake, and it was time for her to make things right again. Stepping down from her position crossed her mind, but only for a moment. Resigning would change nothing and only further complicate things. She had to be strong, she thought furiously as she willed the strength to return to her limbs.

On unsteady legs, she crossed over to her desk and with renewed determination, began to look at the reports she had abandoned earlier. There were so many things to consider in these reports, and there had to be something more she could do, something she had overlooked that would help their cause.

She sighed as she turned the page of a lengthy report, reading and taking notes on key points. Let them hate me, she thought hopelessly, but let them live.

&8&8&8&8&

She was slumped over the desk when Heero found her, her breathing even and slow. His heart broke a little as he watched her sleep. She had the weight of the entire world resting on her shoulders and there was no easy way to deal with the situation they were in. Heero moved quietly and without waking her, picked her up. Things had been easier before when the most pressing problem was whether or not to dispense government funds into the creation of a new colony.

He laid her on the bed as gently as he could, freezing when she stirred slightly. Even after all these years of being by her side, and even after all these months of being her lover, he still felt like a thief who had taken something that wasn't his. Heero grimaced slightly at his own thoughts and moved to lie down beside her.

"Heero?" Relena's voice wavered slightly as she turned to see who held her. "You came." She sighed softly, and moved until her head was nestled on his shoulder. "I wasn't sure if you would."

"I promised you, didn't I?" He brushed a kiss across her forehead and tightened his hold on her. "Go to sleep." He ordered softly, holding her tight against him when she tried to get up. "I mean it, Relena. You need sleep."

"I need to work," Relena countered and tried futilely to free herself from his embrace, glaring at him when she couldn't. "What are you, my nanny?"

"When I have to be," Heero countered without missing a beat and gripping her arms, rolled so that she was beneath him, pinned to the bed by his body. "Although I have to say, I prefer being your boyfriend." He grinned at her and Relena's eyes narrowed. She knew that when Heero grinned like that…

Heero lowered his head, still grinning slightly as he brushed her neck with his lips and nibbled on the sensitive skin that he found there. He could feel her body begin to stir beneath him and satisfied that she wouldn't try to fight him off, he let his hands wander where they wished.

Relena bit her lip to keep from crying out as he skimmed over her hips, her mind racing. No matter how many times they had sex, it always seemed new. Familiar and new at the same time. She moaned softly, and surrendered to the sensations that Heero brought out in her.

"You idiot," she laughed breathlessly as she drew his head up until his lips hovered mere inches above hers. "If you wanted sex, why didn't you just ask?"

There was a look in Heero's eyes that she couldn't decipher, but it was gone so quickly that she thought that maybe she had imagined it. He ignored her question, deciding instead to steal her breath away with a heart stopping kiss. "It's more fun." He whispered, and she frowned, fighting through a haze of arousal in an attempt to understand what he was trying to say.

He noticed her expression and smiled inwardly. "This way is more fun than simply asking," he clarified and leaned forward to capture her mouth again.

Relena was on fire. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think. With the last of her coherence, she damned Heero and his clever fingers and then there was nothing to do but feel. His body was twined with hers and as he explored her body, she swore she could hear bells ringing…

Her mind cleared slowly as if she were a diver pushing her way to the surface. Heero had stopped his ministrations and was now sitting a few feet away from her, staring intently at the door. "Do you want me to answer it?" he asked softly, already knowing what the answer would be.

"No, I'll do it," Relena straightened herself up as best she could and then opened the door to see a messenger standing before her. "I'm sorry I took so long, I didn't hear the door." She smiled as gently as she could at the young boy who looked at her with awe. "Can I help you with something?"

Relena's words called the boy back to his purpose there and he handed over a package. "I was told that it was urgent, Miss Dorlian. I was to get this to you no matter what. It's from General Warwick," the courier babbled inanely for a moment before Relena placed a restraining hand on his arm.

"Does the General need a reply?" she asked softly and when the boy shook his head, she thanked him, and advised him to get some rest before she shut the door. As soon as the door closed she slumped against it, staring at the missive in her hands as if it were some poisonous snake that would rear its head and attack her at any moment.

"Are you going to open it?" Relena jumped and looked up to see that Heero was leaning against the doorjamb of the bedroom. She had forgotten that he was in the apartment, had forgotten everything but the envelope that was in her hand.

"I don't know if I can," Relena admitted, ashamed at her own weakness in this time of war. "It can't be good news, not if it was this urgent." She hardly noticed when Heero grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the door. She was so focused on the missive that she didn't even realise that she was in her bedroom until Heero gently pushed her into a sitting position on her bed.

With trembling hands, she ripped the envelope and quickly scanned the piece of paper that she pulled out. Heero watched as her eyes widened and she scanned it again, resisting the urge to rip the paper away from her. Her eyes filled with tears that she quickly dashed away before turning to face the Gundam pilot.

"The enemy has fired a warning shot," her hands shook furiously, but her voice was calm as she turned to face him. "They thought that it might be a useful way to demonstrate their power. They thought that we weren't taking them seriously. So they destroyed a city…"

"Relena…" Heero reached for her, drawing her close to him and gently pulling the missive out of her hands. "It's going to be okay. I will make this okay somehow." He pressed her lips against her forehead fiercely as if that would chase away the thoughts that haunted her.

"You can't make this okay. Nothing will ever make this okay," Relena whispered as the reality of their situation hit her once again and her hands resumed their shaking. "They destroyed ten thousand innocent lives on a whim…and it's my fault that we don't have the weapons to fight them." Heero pulled her tightly against him as tears flooded her eyes and finally giving into her grief, she buried her face in her lover's shoulder and wept.

&8&8&8&8&

Heero stayed awake long after Relena had worn herself out from crying. There was something nagging at the back of his mind. A tiny presence that refused to go away, and kept him awake for hours after Relena's breathing had slowed.

For the first time, real fear invaded his mind. He knew that there was a way that mankind could win. He knew without a doubt that there was a small flaw that the enemy had overlooked in their arrogance. There always was, but there was always a price for victory, and he knew somehow that he would be the one to pay it.

He closed his eyes, trying hard to relax by concentrating on Relena's breathing and matching his to hers. Normally this would've put him to sleep within minutes, but this time there was still something bothering him. He felt like there was something more that he needed to do before he could let himself sleep.

He slowly eased away from Relena, careful not to wake her as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. There was something he needed to do, but what was it? What was so important that it couldn't possibly wait until morning?

His thoughts drifted back to the missive that Relena had received, he'd known by the look on her face that something horrible had happened. But there was something more than that… He'd known long before she'd even gotten the missive. He'd known the details of the attack and the casualties. He hadn't even touched the missive since he had pulled it out of Relena's hands, but he knew that the time of the attack was at 2300 hours.

How had he known this? He let his mind drift further back as he watched Relena sleep. Even in sleep he could see the burden that the situation had placed on her, she moved slightly, her mind restless even as it recharged.

Heero frowned, at 11:00 that night, he had been on his way to see Relena. What was his mind trying to tell him? He let himself drift more, finally beginning to feel tired as he searched desperately for what was naggin at the back of his thoughts. He glanced at Relena again and then at the missive that lay on the floor a few feet away from the bed.

Destruction of the human city complete. The attack was carried out at the peak of their moon's rise as requested. There are no survivors for a deacon around the city. Approximately ten thousand humans were killed, putting a dent in their population, but still leaving enough of them to be of use.

Suddenly Heero was wide awake, his eyes wide with a knowledge that he had never asked for. He had heard that statement in his head earlier that night and had dismissed it as lack of sleep. It was only when the missive for Relena had come that he had come to suspect the truth of the statement in the back of his mind.

No! He thought vehemently, clutching his head. There was no way that this could happen. He sat there, his head cradled in his hands, desperately searching for a reason, any reason why he would have known about the attack.

He got up and moved to the window, his hands clenched into fists. He needed to tear something apart. Sweat ran down his face and he wiped at it irritably. There must be some reasoning for all of this. Using all the self control that being a Gundam Pilot had graced him with, he forced himself to calm down and look at things rationally.

What he'd heard had been impossible. He must've heard about the attack somewhere before he had reached Relena's apartment, or he could've accidentally tapped into a military signal while he was driving, or maybe he was just operating on too little sleep and had imagined the connection and the voice in his head…

But even to him, the excuses sounded false and hollow. The radio wouldn't have had such detailed information before the Vice Foreign Minister and no report would sound as callous as what he'd heard. It was impossible for a civilian car to tap into the Preventor's radio signals unless he had the proper equipment, which his car didn't, and he couldn't have imagined all this, could he?

He turned back to face the bed, prepared to accept the only rational explanation he could think of, and as he moved closer to his sleeping lover, a great weariness overtook him. It had fallen to him once again to put himself into harm's way for the good of the ESUN.

He lay back down, wrapping his arms around Relena once more. He knew that she wanted him to run away from this fight, and now there was no way for him to. He might have tried to stay off the front lines before, probably not, but he might have tried…

And now, with this new found revelation, he knew he was going to be placed directly in the front lines. Whether by actually being ordered there, or by his own will, he was going to be there. It was possible that he held the key to winning this war and he couldn't ignore that.

Relena murmured softly in her sleep and snuggled against him. Heero tightened his grip on her, tracing the lines of her face with his finger. He felt like he'd already lost her, that his newfound gift had already placed her beyond his reach, and it hurt, it hurt more than any injury he'd ever sustained.

He knew already what his fate would be. He knew where his destiny lay, and he wouldn't fight it, not if it meant that he could save her. He would go to see Zechs tomorrow and would talk with the other Gundam pilots. He knew that they would support him once they understood the situation, but still, his heart was breaking. He would have to leave Relena. Even now, he understood that after the invasion truly began, he would never see her again.

He could hear the enemy in his head… and because he could, he was going to die.

TBC

Author's Note: "A Reason to Change" was supposed to be the next fic that I updated, but I got caught up in this story and just had to get it out. I'm sorry for anyone who was waiting for the update for the other fic... I'd like to thank Purdy for helping me out with this fic (Merry Christmas!), and to everyone who reviewed for the first chapters. It was your reviews that made me get my butt in gear and finish this chapter. Your comments really helped. I hope you guys like this chapter as much as you liked the last one, and as always, if you find anything that absolutely begs to be made fun of or criticised, review and let me know. :p

Symee