This is quite short, but I'm building up, I'm building up really... And thank you for the reviews. Always appreciated...

There Was Not Always Hate

Chapter Two: Moon

Two days later, life was still normal or as Inuyasha deemed normal. Each day, the brothers kept separate, but each night they were together. It was the only time they could safely sit in each other's arms. They knew that if anyone were to find out, something bad would happen, they just didn't know what.

Most of the time, they were in Sesshomaru's room since it promised more privacy but there were times when Sesshomaru was the one who made the visit. But anyhow it didn't matter, as long as they could be with each, nothing mattered.

Every night, Inuyasha was anxious to be with his brother, wishing for the sky to darken and stay darkened. That was, every night except the night of the new moon. Even though, it had happened before and Sesshomaru had said he didn't mind, it was Inuyasha who minded. He disliked his human form, wanting to be more like his brother, wanting to be a full demon like Sesshomaru. Inuyasha was shamed of himself. The night of the new moon was always a reminder of his weak, useless existence.

So that night, Inuyasha decided to stay in his own room. Even though he would have wanted to be embraced by his brother he did not want Sesshomaru to see him in his pathetic human form. Thus, sitting on his bed alone, Inuyasha can do nothing but pretend and imagine his brother, his brother who promised happiness for him as long as he was alive. But even though he knew Sesshomaru did indeed love him, he couldn't help thinking that his brother disliked his human form as well. /I'm still a half-demon.../

More and more, the hanyou thought of how reasonable it was that his brother hated his human form. He thought back to the nights of the new moon and for the first time, he questioned his brother's love. Because when Inuyasha was human, Sesshomaru did nothing more but hold him in his arms. Was he repulsed with the hanyou's appearance? And if he was, wouldn't that mean that Sesshomaru did not love him as wholly as Inuyasha thought? But then again, the demon lord had never said he loved the half-demon. Was it one-sided? Did the brother Inuyasha treasure so dearly not have the same feelings for him? Could it be that Sesshomaru really did mind that Inuyasha was a half-breed?

Thinking became the worst thing of all for the hanyou, because it made tears fall unwillingly. His throat went drier and drier, constricting as if to take his life away from him. /It's not true...Big Brother...it can't be true.../

For that night, the brothers didn't see each other although their minds, their hearts, and their souls were with the other.

Inuyasha didn't sleep well and neither did Sesshomaru. The youkai stayed up waiting for his brother to come. It might sound ridiculous for the demon lord to wait but that was what he did. Sitting on his bed, with a book in his hands, Sesshomaru waited far into the evening for his brother to knock on his door.

It was a silent agreement between them that the hanyou was the one to come unless they changed their plans. Inuyasha had always kept it. This was the first time that Sesshomaru knew nothing. He was worried, troubled by the thought that something unfortunate might have happened to his dear younger brother, or someone had kept his brother away from him, or that, and this was the hardest to accept and deny, Inuyasha didn't want to come. The most horrible thought for the youkai was that his little brother got bored of him, like all children does of things, and didn't want, dare I say, him anymore. This was the worst of all even though it should be the least possible. It plagued Sesshomaru's mind all through the night. A fact it was for Sesshomaru that he loved his brother, and he had thought that Inuyasha loved him back. Though they never said it, it was somehow known. But now, Sesshomaru doubted. What if Inuyasha didn't...? Inuyasha was still young; he might not even understand what love truly was. What if it was just a phase? What if Inuyasha had gotten over this? And what if Sesshomaru couldn't?

When this thought came to him, he could no longer concentrate on his book. He could only put it down and lie on the bed. But it was trouble, for he could not sleep. His mind kept working, disobeying his will to stop. And as it got deeper and deeper, he came to believe what his thoughts were trying to calculate. His own mind betrayed him into believing that Inuyasha not coming could only be due to the fact that he didn't want to come. This made the lump in his throat and his chest harden, and it choked him badly, tears wanting to flow for no apparent reason it seemed. It was the worst night Sesshomaru had had in his whole life, as if he had been rejected, sunken too deep to be risen and saved. /Brother.../

But even though neither Sesshomaru nor Inuyasha felt they could sleep, they eventually slept, both of their hearts heavy.

When the first lights hit Sesshomaru's room, the youkai automatically woke. Although he wished to be asleep again, he knew he could not. When his mind came back to reality, his thoughts were immediately upon the ones he had thought about the night before. It was again that hardening in his throat, again that painful feeling.

The silver-haired youkai rested his head down for a while longer, feeling tired, overcome with lassitude. And when he finally decided to sit up, his head swirled. It hurt. Sesshomaru placed both his hands upon his head as if to make it stay in one place. When it went away at last, Sesshomaru got out of bed, the air a bit chilly against his skin. He brought his hands up to rub his arms for warmth, feeling much colder than the true weather. /Can I ever count on your warmth again, Brother.../

Grabbing his clothes, Sesshomaru started to dress himself. Even though he followed this same routine for years, this morning was suffocating. And he took an especially long time dressing. And when he finished he didn't know what else to do. At this point it was a time when he waited for the servants to serve him. It was also the time when he thought of his brother, thought of the night before with his brother, but today, he didn't have anything to think about, because the night before was nothing he wanted to think about. Last night, his brother wasn't there with him. He waited but his brother didn't come. The youkai didn't want to think about it. /Are you tired of me, Brother.../

When Inuyasha woke he felt tear stains hardened on his face and his eyes dried with tears. He tried to wipe it off with his hands, finally able to open his eyes. He wiped it further with his sleeves, chunks of dried tears itching his eyes. He grunted, finding it irritating. And then finally he realized what caused his tears in the first place. His heart stopped, giving him a painful shock. /Brother...it cannot be true...I don't want it to be true...it can't.../

Then he just sat on his bed, not wanting to get up anymore. A blank expression came over his delicate face. /What should I do.../ It was not an easy question. What should this poor hanyou do? Should he pretend to not care and just stop the relationship with his brother/No...I like.../ Should he try to escape/But...then I won't get to see...I won't get to be with onii-chan.../ Should he pretend none of the doubts existed/But I don't want...I can't...I like onii-chan...I want to know.../ Should he apologize? He never told his brother that he wouldn't come yesterday. What if his brother waited

There was another lump again. His brother...he hadn't seen his brother for a whole day...he wanted to see him now. The thought of his brother waiting for him was suddenly the most horrible thing in the world. This was especially when Inuyasha wanted to see Sesshomaru as well.

Was it fair to deny the truth? He had to know, he had to know if his brother loved him or not. /Even if onii-chan doesn't, I still will.../