Suicidal Intentions
Section 2: Wishes
Disclaimer: In your ear with a bottle of beer…
Author's Notes: Finally! I know what you are all thinking. If you bothered to read my profile, you would have seen that Word is not on my computer anymore. Strange, ne? Well, I can finally post, but before I get on with the story, there's something I need to say. Guys, I write fanfiction for fun, as a hobby. It's something pleasant for me to do when I want to get some feelings out or something. I post as soon as I can, but, due to the AP classes I must take this year, I rarely have time to post a new chapter. Please be patient with me. I'm really trying hard!
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8:00 p.m., Feudal Era, the Goshinboku
The restless wind stirred through the trees, whispering its secrets to me as it passed. It had seen things. Things I had never dreamed of seeing, things I never wanted to hear of. Murder, rape, and demons. Demons. Both the bane and boon of my existence. I sighed, pulling my arms around me tighter as the chilling breeze swept by me once again. The gentle rustling of the trees soothed me somewhat, and I was unable to hear the approaching figure until it was upon me.
"Hey." Inuyasha fell out of the tree, only to plop on the ground beside me. "You okay?"
My heart wanted to tell the truth, but my mouth had a mind of its own, you see. No, I'm not. "Yeah."
"Are you sure," a perplexed frown crossed his features, "You've been crying."
"I'm fine, Inuyasha. Really." And, lo, the circle starts again. He begins to show compassion, yet I brush it off and bury my feelings within my subconscious, giving him reason to ignore it while I sit idly by and cheer him and Kikyou on. Am I really that selfless of a person, to simply hand over my soul mate without a fight? Or am I just stupid?
I opt for the latter. I mean, he's sitting right here, in front of me! Yet, it's so hard to overcome the nervousness that pervades my soul. I feel anxious and fluttery near him. Well, when he's like this, peaceful, calm, not persisting in his name-calling. So, I simply reached for his hand and held it in my own, comforted at having the warmth for at least a little while. If only I'd known what was to come, I could have prevented my own demise.
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Midnight, Feudal Era, Kaede's Hut
The rustling of the bamboo door covering woke me from my fitful sleep. Sitting up, I rubbed my bleary eyes, freeing them from the last remnants of sleep. I glanced around, my eyes straining against the darkness in an attempt to see what was going on. Finally it dawned on me. Inuyasha was gone.
I stole out of my futon and, being careful not to wake the others, crept out into the star filled sky. That's the thing about this era. The stars are so powerful; they seem to peer into your very soul. They are so much brighter than those that fill the polluted sky back at my home. Anyway, Heaven's beacons lit the path that the hanyou had taken before me.
I tried to be as quiet as a mouse, I really did. But, those stupid twigs just get in your way and they emit a loud cracking sound as your foot falls upon them. It's strange how that always seems to happen when you are attempting to be silent. Twice I was made to stop by this as Inuyasha turned around. However, he disregarded it as a squirrel or some other typical fuzzy animal.
As my poor aching feet were becoming wearier, I sensed a tremendous power coming from up ahead. And, lo and behold, someone had cast a barrier. Inuyasha slipped past it and I would have been trapped alone outside, had my power not been so great. Since that is not the case, I was able to stroll inside the barrier without any difficulty.
The tricky part, however, comes here. Now, I have no doubt that Inuyasha felt at least a semblance of affection for me, but he really needed to stop creeping about in the middle of the night, rendezvousing with Kikyou. You think Kikyou would have sensed that I was there, but I believe she just liked to torture me. She held my heart in her hands, like Naraku held Kagura's, and she relished in the wrenching it and dangling it in front of me like a piece of meat.
So why did I play this cat-and-mouse game? Well, as I said earlier, I am an idiot.
Inuyasha stopped suddenly in front of Kikyou and she moved to embrace him. Well, she went about it with no more grace than a cow, but it did look particularly lustful. She practically fell into his arms. Actually, fell at his feet was more like it.
I listened as Inuyasha spewed words of love, words I'd longed to hear for so long, into her ears. I watched as she devoured them, acting as though she truly loved him as well. I watched as she kissed him, as he kissed her back. When Passion, that destroyer of so many happy and innocent men, took hold, I left with the heaviest of hearts.
Author's Ending Notes: Guys, I know that this is very short, but it's almost one in the morning and I have to get up early tomorrow for gymnastics. So, enjoy this and I will have another (and, hopefully, longer) chapter up as soon as I can. Okay?
Please read and review if you want this to continue…