"Mione! Can you stop eating horse food and start eating some real food like the CHICKEN NOW THERE?" Ron commented, surprisingly still comprehendible, after throwing a thigh-sized chicken into his mouth.

Hermione stared at Ron, wide-eyed, and then at the lump of chicken that is now a huge mash, in his mouth. "RON! Can you stop chewing your chicken OPENLY? Especially when A GIRL is sitting in front of you!" she screamed. Ron then gave her an ARE-YOU-SURE-YOU-ARE-A-GIRL look. Hermione then returned a death glare. "Oh just shut up! Besides, I have to be a girl to reject you when you asked me to be your date for the ball in year 5 right? Or are you just GAY?"

Ron went pink. BRIGHT STRIKING HOT PINK, as usual. In his mid-pinkness, he glowered at Hermione silently, who returned a sweet smile that made Ron even angrier.

The glaring-competition ended as soon as the desserts arrived. Of course, Ron rather eats then continues to glare at Hermione, who is clearly an inedible, BOYISH thing.

Hermione continued to look at Ron. The more she looked at Ron, the way he ate, the way he talked to Harry with his mouth opening SO BIG that you could see almost all the food particles inside, the more embarrassed she felt. She looked away quickly, blood rushing to her cheeks. If you are actually thinking that Hermione is embarrassed cause she thought that someone had caught her red-handed staring at her crush, then you are wrong, WAYYYYY WRONG. Hermione likes Ron. However, she does not like him… in that sense, in that absolutely disgusting way.

Then why she started blushing, you might ask. She is just feeling embarrassed that Ron is actually a very good friend of hers. She knows that it is so wrong to think this way. But thoughts just come and go right? Okay. Maybe these thoughts would come and never go. Anyway, the Bottom line is, she did not want to think these way. Besides, if you actually have a friend that farts occasionally without apologizing, a friend that eats like a pig, a friend that digs his nose and throws his nose-shit (okay… I dun know what it is called…) onto the floor, then you would surely think that way, the way that Hermione felt.

She then thought about the past years, the years that she actually had a crush on Ron. Goodness. The thought of it make her realized how stupid she was last time, how blind and cock-eyed she was. She actually fell in love with RON, the FAMOUS FARTER, STUBBORN GEEK, OVER-PROTECTIVE, EATS as if he had never tasted food before, not to mention A VERY ADDICTIVE NOSE-DIGGER! She sighed. "No wonder Ginny keep thinking that I should get a medical check up, and make sure the doctor focus on my cock-eyed eyes. Thank god, I did not admit my love to him… eww. Imagine him kissing me with chicken meat stuck between his teeth, chocolate stains… YUCK!" Hermione shook her head violently, her hair swaying like a bunch of broom.

"Hey," Harry said, speaking for the first time since they arrived at Hogwarts. "Look over there," he continued, pointing at a group of nerdy boys who were currently reading their books while eating. Some even accidentally jabbed food deep INTO their noses, thus having the need to sneeze LOUDY to remove them. Everybody at that table is all nerds-who-are-disabled-in-eating, except for two. The only different two had spike hair and pierce ears. As she began to observe them closely, she felt like she was being x-rayed meaning observe…) too. She looked up quickly, just in time to catch the eye of one of the spike head. He smiled at her, dimple on both side of his cheek.

"OMG! He is so cute! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! And He just smiled at me! AHHH! He actually smiled at me! ME!" Hermione screamed like a mad cow into her head. She then desperately tried to cover her excitement and gave an Oh-hi-mr-stranger-whom-i-can't-be-bothered-with smile before looking away incase he returned another Oh-so-sexy-Oh-so-cute smile.

"Ron. Isn't he that guy that you were fighting with?" Harry said, out of a sudden, breaking Hermione from her train of thoughts about the new and cute Mr.-stranger.

"Yeah. I guess so. He should be the disrespectful moron," Ron replied.

Hermione looked at the spike heads again, and was half-relieved, half disappointed that the Mr. Stranger was missing from his table. She then glanced at the other spike head and recognized that face immediately.

"Yar. He is definitely the boy Ronald ALMOST HEXED." Hermione said, clearly has not forgiven Ron thoroughly.

Ron looked up at Hermione. His face showed irritation, annoyance, boredom, and a little bit of regret. He was about to speak when…

"Attention students!"

Then this is when the tragedy happened. As soon as Hermione looked up, she saw the starting of the unfortunate event. Like a slow motion movie, Hermione saw Professor McGonagall stand up; her mouth was open slightly, indicating that she was actually going to say something, but something happened. The something had stopped her from continuing her speech, something that made everyone look at her, even people who can't get their eyes from the food (i.e., RON), something that made sad people laugh, and something that made laughing people laugh even more. The amazing thing is that the something even made the other teachers, who were unaffected by tragedy, laugh. The other teachers whom included snape, the cannot-be-bothered-with-anything person. And I emphasis again, EVEN SNAPE, tried his best not to giggle.

As Professor McGonagall stood up, her leg, the cause of all the trouble, stepped sharply onto the tablecloth and as though with a flick of the wand, "WINGADIUM LAVIOSA", all the food from that table flew into the air, then it tossed and tossed 3 rounds at the highest point in the air it could go, and then…

"PIANK!" the food had left the table and fallen onto the once-clean dressed teachers. Echoes of the plates being broken swept past the room. Everyone stared. Every single student stared, eyes so huge that it might even hurt, but not daring to blink at all, in fear of missing out any additional disasters. The second best thing that comes after canceling exams is to get a chance to see the TEACHERS BEING BULLIED BY THE ONCE-INNOCENT FOOD!

Then slowly everyone started to crack up. It was just so great to see your horrifying, irritating teachers smashed by chocolates and so on…

Then like a swarm of bees, the group of nerds and the two spike heads rushed up the stage and started to help the teachers up. Some started to clear the place, with the aid of the wand of course. Some began to levitate the few fainted teachers to the hospital wing. In a few minutes, they were done and were about to head back to the table when…

"Hold on." Professor Dumbledore said, slowly standing up, trying to his best not to let history repeat. He then pointed towards the nerds and the two spike heads and said, "I guess you must be wondering who this few helpful students are. Some of you might have already guessed the purpose of their presence here, but just incase you hasn't, then I would like to emphasis on the scene just now, the scene of them helping the not-very-graceful teachers," at this point, he gave a backward glance at Professor McGonagall and chuckled slightly.

"Please welcome the new exchanged students from Durmstrang. They are here to teach you nursing." He paused to observe his stunned students.

Everybody was beyond shock. Their jaws dropped, and I mean literally dropped. Everybody was too surprised to say anything.

"WHAT?" Draco yelled after a few seconds of silence. He shook his head vigorously desperately wishing that this were a bad dream. "NURSING?" he said, words dripping with disgust.