Beneath the Mask, by Amadah
Katie - age 21
Angelina - age 22
Oliver - age 24
Alicia - age 21
Disclaimer: Yeah.
This chapter is mostly just a filler...sorry, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.
CHAPTER FIVE: Panic
Everything was starting to tear me up. All these sudden reminders of the memories I had been trying to forget these past years and simply being informed all I had missed while trying to run was seemingly starting to sink in, finally. I loved seeing my friends, so I guess I wasn't sure what it was that bothered me about all of this; maybe I wasn't bothered by anything. I don't know. I just had to get out, so on Saturday morning I went to my little neglected closet and, pushing through various hanging items such as my old Hogwarts robes, I retrieved my long-forgotten broomstick from its spot in the very back. Not surprisingly, it had gathered a thick coat of dust, being unused in over two years. As I wondered what Oliver and Angelina would think of me disregarding my broom for so long – that type of thing was unthinkable to such dedicated quidditch players – I managed to blow the majority of it away, and I held it up. It appeared to be a very worn, and perhaps even incapable of flight from being stored away for so long. Upon closer examination, a small inscription within the wood was visible. I gulped as I saw it; I had completely forgotten.
KB + OW
Bordering the letters was a heart.
So much for trying to escape the thoughts that kept trailing behind me, like an annoying little kid in need of attention. I sighed and, clad in white jeans, a simple grey shirt and a denim jacket, carried the broomstick down the multiple staircases of the apartment and outside into the cool spring air. It felt good to be getting fresh air for once. The scent of coffee mixed with dust – not exactly the most luscious combination – always floated about The Bellsong, my apartment was forever stinking of smoke, despite Angelina's and Alicia's attempt to clean it, and the Den could get pretty stuffy. Those were the three places I spent most of my time, and I always forgot how nice it was to just be outdoors and allow the sweetness of the air to refresh my nerves.
I had forgotten a lot.
Releasing a small sigh, I mounted the broom – no one gave me a second glance, since they saw this type of thing everyday – and kicked forcefully off the ground, my feet shoeless. I wanted to go slow, get used to it again. But right as I left the ground, it was as if something inside me exploded. How the bloody hell had I forgotten what it was like to fly? How could I have left my broomstick untouched for so long? I was appalled at myself for burying such a grand feeling for such a long time. It was as if entering the sky washed memory back into my limbs and all I wanted to do was go fast, shoot through the sky and leave my worries behind. So I did. Instead of dwelling on things in the past, I reveled in my memories. The good ones from Hogwarts, like Quidditch, talking about the teachers we hated and the ones we liked, the grand feasts that were always a bonus with the Weasley twins around, butterbeer...
For a while I just let my broom drift on the mellow wind, allowing it and my thoughts to take me away and ignoring the numbness that had taken over my toes from being so exposed. When I finally came back to my senses, I was surprised to find myself hovering over the park. But that surprise didn't compare at all when I heard someone say, "Katie?" I jumped and would've fallen from my broom, had a hand not grabbed my arm and straightened me. I took a quiet intake of breath; Oliver.
"How...?" Then I saw that he was atop his own broom as well.
"Have you been following me?" I asked accusingly, then wished I had spoken less harshly. He hadn't done anything wrong. Silently I nagged at myself for being so snappy, took a deep breath and urged my broom towards the ground, enjoying the feeling of grass surrounding my bare feet once more. I was sure I heard Oliver sigh as he followed close behind me.
"No, I have not been following you, Katie," he said quietly, and the tone of his voice was enough to make me look up, startled. He didn't appear too well – his hair was a mess, his face seemed haggard and tired and something in his eyes made my heart skip a beat. A sensation of horribleness and guilt sunk deep into the core of my stomach. He looked troubled, or upset. Was I the one inflicting this upon him? Suddenly realizing that he was watching as I stared, I blushed and hastily turned away to examine my finger nails, ragged from being bitten constantly.
"Sorry," I mumbled, unable to think of what else to say and feeling more the idiot with every passing second. Oliver touched the ground beside me and leaned his broom against the withered trunk of an aged maple tree.
"That's alright," he said in a more normal tone of voice, for which I was relieved, though something told me that it wasn't alright with him at all. Trying to look anywhere but at the gorgeous eyes of Oliver, I ambled over to a nearby bench and seated myself. As I continued to avert my eyes, I felt like I was going to throw up, and I hoped more then ever that it was simply a feeling, and that I wasn't actually going to be sick in front of Oliver – for I knew that the embarrassment would simply kill me. I stifled a gasp of surprise when I felt Oliver sit beside me on the bench, and if possible, the sickening feeling increased dramatically. It was as if my head was swimming in boiling hot water and something was dragging me down beneath the surface.
"Katie?" I heard a somewhat distant voice. It wasn't so far-sounding, however, that I couldn't tell how uneasy it was.
"Are you okay...?"
"I'm going to be sick," I heard another , very high-pitched voice say. A moment later, I realized it was my own. Sudden images of that rainy day when Oliver had kissed me flowed into my mind, the feeling of my legs running beneath me, retreating from my own fear...
Suddenly I shot to my feet. My thoughts weren't in order – I was panicked, I couldn't think clearly, but all I knew was that I wanted to, desperately, get away, like I had done before. I leapt forward, but before I could get any further, Oliver's hand shot out and grabbed my arm, causing me to spin around and face him. My heart was beating amazingly fast, and I was sure my chest would burst at any moment. I stared at him.
"Why do you do this?" He asked. There was something in his voice – pleading? His voice nudged me out of my tangled mind and slowly I began to return to my senses.
"Why do you run?"
I looked down, unable to return his gaze any longer. Silene. Then – "Katie?" He lifted my chin with his hand, forcing me to look back up, still gripping my arm tightly. His skin was warm and I was sure that I would melt, if my chest didn't explode first. I wanted him to release me, I wanted him to just go away...but he showed no sign of leaving, and his eyes remained on me.
"I – " but I stopped, realizing that I didn't know what to say, and wishing more then ever that I was better at communicating then this. I tried to pull away, but if anything, that caused his hold on my arm to stiffen.
"Are you alright? You're shaking." And he was right – I was trembling, possibly as an aftershock of my panic attack. Again, I attempted to pull away, harder this time. Finally I looked at him, glaring.
"Let me go," I said, my voice wavering slightly. But another part of me, a softer part, just wanted him to draw me close and hold me, just hold me. Finally I jerked my arm so viciously that he let go. We stared at one another for a moment, him looking more upset then before, me looking at him angrily. I turned away, and willing myself to walk away, rather then run, took almost all of my strength.
To tell you the truth, if it hadn't been for the following review, I probably never would've written this chapter, short and nothing-filled though it is:
"its killing me inside to know that you havn't posted. helo!i need this story to survive! ah! come on 5-10! woo! i kno u can do it... if u try ;) today would be nice. ciao!"
Of course, I couldn't of done it without any of the reviews I have received. Thank you to the following, extremely kind people:
Docums
Kit Merlot
Chibi-Chi
BobDole77